u/erinartemis

But I feel cute today, and I did yesterday too so I thought I’d share.

Okay y’all, it’s Mamma Erin

I’m such a mess right now. I’m sad, I’m happy, depressed, thankful, and so completely filled with love for a child that hasn’t even taken its first breath. How is it that I can take a friend for her doctors appointment after having 4 children of my own, and become so overwhelmed with happiness and joy, but also a deep sadness that I’ll never experience that? This happened around 11:00am yesterday and I’m still grinning ear to ear crying tears of happiness and sorrow 😂!

My friend gave me a gift yesterday when she showed me those ultrasounds. She definitely gave me baby fever lol, but she gave me the opportunity to experience this for a 5th time on the outside looking in, but for the first time through motherly eyes. This kind of love isn’t something I had experienced before somehow. I love my children more than life itself. That’s not questionable, not in the slightest. This feels different though. I don’t know if it’s the obscene amount of time I had to work when Tiff was pregnant in the car business, missing out on the first words, steps…. Playing with their toys…. Their first candies or juices…. always leaving before they woke, just to come home well after they were asleep… 5-6 days a week, 12-15 hours a day 🤣…. I had always gone to the doctors appointments with Tiff. I never felt comfortable or wanted by the medical team though. I know it was never about me, I’m not upset at the attention the gave my wife, I wish they had given her more honestly. I do wish I had been kept in the loop better though on how to better help her or how she was. That definitely didn’t change in this experience, but something did.

I’m so happy for my friend and her significant other. I’m completely and totally utterly touched that she would ask me to come with her, and so grateful she let me experience her happiness and fears with her.

Oh, and as if that wasn’t enough, she bought a dress and some makeup for me. I love the dress, it’s really pretty, it is; but because of how touching that day was, it’ll forever be one of my absolute favorites.

Goodness gracious, I’m crying again thinking about it! The world is so beautiful. I’m so happy there are are people out there that just want someone to sit down and look at all that beauty with them for a while. Maybe we should try to take a breather more often. Or maybe that’s a me thing. All I know is that, kindness is a precious and powerful gift. It has the ability to save lives, and yet, it costs absolutely nothing.

Anyone else have baby fever? I’d love to hear about some of those beautiful tears of joy! What’s something so wonderful you’ve witnessed recently that moved you to tears? I want more smiles!

Life is beautiful, and you are too.

Love

M.E.
Mamma Erin

I got the idea last night to brine some chicken breasts for the first time. It came to me as I had some potatoes, carrots, celery, and onions brining in a mixture of pink sea salt, rough cracked pepper corns, paprika, red pepper flakes, oregano, thyme, basil, garlic powder, and yellow mustard powder. My goodness it smelled so good I decided I had to see what would happen with chicken if left to bathe in it overnight. Y’all, when I tell you this chicken was so good it’ll make your tough slap your eyeballs out… I’m still shocked that I’m not lookin’ at my wife or kids wondering where all these pirates came from lol!

Anywho, I decided to make more home fries for this cook. So I processed some golden yellow potatoes, carrots, and celery again. I placed them in a bowl with the same seasonings I used in the brine, but decided to just heavily coat them and toss them with some olive oil and rest for about 30 minutes or so. While they were resting and my oil was heating in a cast iron, I started mixing the sauce in the large cast iron. Tomato purée, whole pealed tomatoes, black beans, and then the home fries. I pan seared the chicken, buried them in the sauce and placed on the ReqTeq at 180 for about an hour, then 325 until I pulled it. I used the brine mix to add water as the sauce reduced. Added some broccoli and cauliflower, and cooked it until they were tender.

The flavor was somewhat chili like. Hearty, savory, and somehow beefy. What a pleasant experiment.

I hope you enjoy!

I was talking to my wife earlier this week about what we’d like to add to the menu for the next two weeks. Much to my surprise my oldest daughter suggested smoked chicken! I kinda miss pulled pork, although to be honest, it was always my least favorite dish… so I suggested sliders!

Anywho, I decided not to season the chicken, I just wanted that natural roasted flavor with a light smoke in it. I lucked out with the innards, and somehow got 5 hearts lol! I’m guessing one of the chickens had to be a time lord. In the cartoon is a mix of my homemade pork and poultry seasoning and onion, water, tomato sauce, corn syrup, molasses, and yellow mustard as well as the scraps. I got started late so we decided to snack on them last night with the homemade potato salad and coleslaw. Today though, I pulled the chicken into larger chunks, mixed my homemade sauce in, and made the sliders! They made it to the clean plate club too. Even my goddaughters came back for more 😂!

Hope y’all enjoy!

Hello, I’m Erin. I thought it might be fun to start posting some of my cooks every now and then. I’m hoping maybe I can find some people to knock some flavor profiles and ideas around with. I love to cook, and I keep trying to find new things to experiment with.

Anywho, spatchcocked chicken over some vegies with a homemade rub. I let the dish smoke pretty low for a little before adjusting my temp to 350. I pulled the cast iron once the chicken reached an internal temp of 165.

I was able to feed a family of 6, with leftovers. My children placed this meal squarely in the clean plate club.

I hope you enjoy. I can’t wait to share more cooks!

When I ordered this dress, the description listed it as a “summer beach dress”. I apparently mistakenly thought it would be okay to wear in less than comfortable heat. Good lord I was wrong…. My legs are sweating so much… I’m over heating, and I’m finding myself trying to find a way to wear it like a knee length or slightly shorter cut without being indecent…. I really don’t want to go all summer with a dress I love as much as this one stuck on a hanger…. Is there anything at all I can do to help, or is it time to hang it until more agreeable temperatures decide to show up again?

It’s been an incredible three years. Losing over 200lbs, working on my depression management and harmful actions towards myself, learning to be myself and finally finding out what it feels to love myself. Words alone can not express the difference and the profound impact this journey has had on me, and pictures don’t truly serve any justice to this experience either. Finally finding the beauty in life, and to finally want to take part in it rather than trying to rush to the credits. Beautiful.

So, full disclosure here…. Horses absolutely scare the living daylights out of me, but my wife absolutely loves them! I absolutely think they’re beautiful creatures, and I love seeing them and drawing portraits, but most of all I love seeing how my wife comes to life around them. She makes me feel so much safer around them when she’s around, and I’ve even grown brave enough to pet them now! I hope one day I can go on a ride with her, I don’t think anything could make me happier at this point.

Anyway, Happy Pride month everyone!

Love y’all!

I tried a few dresses on, but this one… my cheeks are still so sore!

Smoked pulled pork with a homemade rub.

In my last post I talked about how my daughter was invited to a birthday party as long as her father (me, a trans woman) wasn’t there.

I wanted to clarify a few things. We live in the country. It’s a small and dead MAGA town in a very impoverished section of Kentucky, in the Appalachias. The party is at a park less than a half mile from my house. And when people are there playing, if no cars are passing through, you can hear the kids from time to time.

I am the only trans woman this town has ever seen, and you can feel it. I grew up here and was very popular. I even helped with the bands music program. I don’t know what happened, but somewhere around the time I started transitioning medically in January to now, people just haven’t been very nice to me.

I’m not worried about my feelings as much as I am for my daughters. She’s only in grade school…

Anywho…

I went lazy tonight with canned Chicken Chow Mein… at least I added more veggies and smoked chicken rolled in flour.

My middle daughter was invited to a birthday party for one of her friends. My wife and I thought it sounded like a fun idea for her to go, but she never got an invite. So my wife reaches out to this child’s parents. They said our daughter is welcome to come, but said “I dont mean to sound mean but my husband is a very conservative person and comes from a very conservative family.
He says you and your daughter are both welcome to come but her father is not welcome.”

Ugh… I have a love hate relationship with transitioning….

Hey everyone. I wanted to share a message I sent to a friend. It’s taken some time, over 5 years to be fair 🤣, to get to this point. This is the message I sent them. Their response will be mine to keep though.

I have also included my most meaningful drawing I have ever completed. My self portrait. How I see myself inside. “Life, Death, and Rebirth” by M.E., Erin Artemis/Mamma Erin.

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“Hey! It’s Erin! You’d probably remember me better as Jonathan. I wanted to let you know I arrived at an interesting point along life’s path, salvation. It sounds funny I know. I am still staunchly an atheist, however I have begun to see my inner self, Erin Artemis, as some kind of divine entity. And like Icarus, I have begun seeing myself internally flying with “wax” wings. Though, at first I saw Erin trying to serenely break away from the chains tying her down, but now I’m seeing it from her (Artemis) perspective, and it’s me trying to free myself from my sins; and I’m shining by the Greek Goddess, Artemis’s reflection.

Today I think I finally broke through those chains. I think I have finally reached salvation if you will. I finally learned how to forgive myself for fighting myself for so long, and I started being kind to both of my selves 😂! Letting Jonathan die would be the sin. I’d still be living a half truth if I was just Erin Artemis. It’s true, I am both, because both are true. I do have both an X and Y chromosome after all. It was this song that got me here. I thought this might be a good opportunity to send it, and maybe possibly ask if you’d be interested in a cup of coffee, as friends, for a laugh or two. I’m finally ready for life.”

This is the 3rd track on this album. It was somehow the first song I had heard by them. How beautifully curious I would have found this one first. Please give this album a chance if you’re struggling. Then take a look at how new this band is and how insanely unfair for them to have so few listeners and followers. They have helped me somehow make my life and internal war with myself make sense. I hope this post might give them a larger platform to reach more people. If they helped me become my truest self, then I absolutely believe this will be true for someone else. If I only find just one person to connect with enough with this post, just one person, then my scars would be worth it.

If you all happen to see this post, thank you for your act of kindness. You truly are life savers. Thank you for helping me finally hear Artemis. Kindness truly does save lives. I would know. I only hope this post might be enough to help even begin to start paying your kindness back. Thank you so much. Because of you, I can finally become M.E., Mamma Erin.
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Kindness is a precious and powerful gift. It has the ability to save lives, and it costs absolutely nothing.

Be kind. Save lives.

I love you all

M.E.
Mamma Erin