u/every_tatti

Joined a Non-BLACKI tier 1 MBA around a week back. Been hellish ever since for several reasons. Not felt this suffocated in forever. Maybe it was also a mismatch between my idea of what MBA is like and the reality. Honestly, not even that much to do with the course, but about my ability to fit in socially. I'm unable to talk to anyone here, feel very isolated, and constantly having a racing heart.

I've always had mental health issues throughout my life, and now they are already flaring up pretty badly to be very honest. I'm having incredibly morbid thoughts and ideations.

My mom called and said please come back if you think this is unbearable. And I think I might.

The future scares me, about having to answer this to others, but I feel so numb rn. Rn for me everything is the bleakest it has been in ages, I'm regretting every single decision that made me give my entire life to CAT for last 1.5 years, and regretting my whole life in general.

Joined a Non-BLACKI tier 1 MBA around a week back. Been hellish ever since for several reasons. Not felt this suffocated in forever. Maybe it was also a mismatch between my idea of what MBA is like and the reality. Honestly, not even that much to do with the course, but about my ability to fit in socially. I'm unable to talk to anyone here, feel very isolated, and constantly having a racing heart.

I've always had mental health issues throughout my life, and now they are already flaring up pretty badly to be very honest. I'm having incredibly morbid thoughts and ideations.

My mom called and said please come back if you think this is unbearable. And I think I might.

The future scares me, about having to answer this to others, but I feel so numb rn. Rn for me everything is the bleakest it has been in ages, I'm regretting every single decision that made me give my entire life to CAT for last 1.5 years, and regretting my whole life in general.

Joined a Non-BLACKI tier 1 MBA around a week back. Been hellish ever since for several reasons. Not felt this suffocated in forever. Maybe it was also a mismatch between my idea of what MBA is like and the reality. Honestly, not even that much to do with the course, but about my ability to fit in socially. I'm unable to talk to anyone here, feel very isolated, and constantly having a racing heart.

I've always had mental health issues throughout my life, and now they are already flaring up pretty badly to be very honest. I'm having incredibly morbid thoughts and ideations.

My mom called and said please come back if you think this is unbearable. And I think I might.

The future scares me, about having to answer this to others, but I feel so numb rn. Rn for me everything is the bleakest it has been in ages, I'm regretting every single decision that made me give my entire life to CAT for last 1.5 years, and regretting my whole life in general.

Joined a Non-BLACKI tier 1 MBA around a week back. Been hellish ever since for several reasons. Not felt this suffocated in forever. Maybe it was also a mismatch between my idea of what MBA is like and the reality. Honestly, not even that much to do with the course, but about my ability to fit in socially. I'm unable to talk to anyone here, feel very isolated, and constantly having a racing heart.

I've always had mental health issues throughout my life, and now they are already flaring up pretty badly to be very honest. I'm having incredibly morbid thoughts and ideations.

My mom called and said please come back if you think this is unbearable. And I think I might.

The future scares me, about having to answer this to others, but I feel so numb rn. Rn for me everything is the bleakest it has been in ages, I'm regretting every single decision that made me give my entire life to CAT for last 1.5 years, and regretting my whole life in general.

I don't use insta, so my mom keeps sending reels on WhatsApp about how crazy and fun MBA life is. She shared videos of IIM A induction, IIM C freshers, heck even a video from someone of my college having fun! (Non BLACKI tier 1).

But here I am, no friends, no interaction with opposite gender, and almost 2 weeks in now. Put so much efforts in, but nothing is working. I feel so isolated. I've started seeing the college counselor coz I was having morbid thoughts, and she has scheduled weekly sessions now, which I'm very grateful for.

But the reels fill me with more sadness again and again. MBA was my hope for making true friends and being more expressive, I've always been quite a lonely person. Kuch sapne sapne hi reh jaate I guess. Feels like the 2 years will feel very long abd arduous now......

I don't use insta, so my mom keeps sending reels on WhatsApp about how crazy and fun MBA life is. She shared videos of IIM A induction, IIM C freshers, heck even a video from someone of my college having fun! (Non BLACKI tier 1).

But here I am, no friends, no interaction with opposite gender, and almost 2 weeks in now. Put so much efforts in, but nothing is working. I feel so isolated. I've started seeing the college counselor coz I was having morbid thoughts, and she has scheduled weekly sessions now, which I'm very grateful for.

But the reels fill me with more sadness again and again. MBA was my hope for making true friends and being more expressive, I've always been quite a lonely person. Kuch sapne sapne hi reh jaate I guess. Feels like the 2 years will feel very long abd arduous now......

Got into Non-BLACKI tier 1, but thinking of dropping out and getting a job. Anyone who's done this? Am I being too stupid?

Just joined a Non-BLACKI tier 1 MBA around a week back. Been hellish ever since for several reasons. Not felt this suffocated in forever. Maybe it was also a mismatch between my idea of what MBA is like and the reality.

I've always had mental health issues throughout my life, and now they are already flaring up pretty badly to be very honest. I'm having incredibly morbid and extreme thoughts and ideations.

I have contacted the college counsellor and set up an appointment with her, but even though she seems very sweet, I'm unsure how transparent I can be with her but I have no other choice or solution rn. This seems like teh last resort atm.

Rn for me everything is the bleakest it has been in ages, I'm regretting every single decision that made me give my entire life to CAT for last 1.5 years, qnf regretting my whole life in general.

Just joined a Non-BLACKI tier 1 MBA around a week back. Been hellish ever since for several reasons. Not felt this suffocated in forever. Maybe it was also a mismatch between my idea of what MBA is like and the reality.

I've always had mental health issues throughout my life, and now they are already flaring up pretty badly to be very honest. I'm having incredibly morbid and extreme thoughts and ideations.

I have contacted the college counsellor and set up an appointment with her, but even though she seems very sweet, I'm unsure how transparent I can be with her but I have no other choice or solution rn. This seems like teh last resort atm.

Anyone else who managed to get through this tunnel while having genuine mental health issues?

Because rn for me everything is the bleakest it has been in ages, I'm regretting every single decision that made me give my entire life to CAT for last 1.5 years, qnf regretting my whole life in general.

Just joined a Non-BLACKI tier 1 MBA around a week back. Been hellish ever since for several reasons. Not felt this suffocated in forever. Maybe it was also a mismatch between my idea of what MBA is like and the reality.

I've always had mental health issues throughout my life, and now they are already flaring up pretty badly to be very honest. I'm having incredibly morbid and extreme thoughts and ideations.

I have contacted the college counsellor and set up an appointment with her, but even though she seems very sweet, I'm unsure how transparent I can be with her but I have no other choice or solution rn. This seems like teh last resort atm.

Anyone else who managed to get through this tunnel while having genuine mental health issues?

Because rn for me everything is the bleakest it has been in ages, I'm regretting every single decision that made me give my entire life to CAT for last 1.5 years, qnf regretting my whole life in general.

Just joined a Non-BLACKI tier 1 MBA around a week back. Been hellish ever since for several reasons. Not felt this suffocated in forever. Maybe it was also a mismatch between my idea of what MBA is like and the reality.

I've always had mental health issues throughout my life, and now they are already flaring up pretty badly to be very honest. I'm having incredibly morbid and extreme thoughts and ideations.

I have contacted the college counsellor and set up an appointment with her, but even though she seems very sweet, I'm unsure how transparent I can be with her but I have no other choice or solution rn. This seems like teh last resort atm.

Anyone else who managed to get through this tunnel while having genuine mental health issues?

Because rn for me everything is the bleakest it has been in ages, I'm regretting every single decision that made me give my entire life to CAT for last 1.5 years, qnf regretting my whole life in general.

Joined a T1 Bschool 2 days back, and would you believe it, I cried in my room on the very first day.

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Yes, a bit of it was overwhelm, but upon ruminating further I've realised how much of a mess I am in mentally.

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I am an only child, with a school life filled with bullying and struggles of body dysmorphia.

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Worse yet, my bullies were girls, which developed a severe fear of the opposite gender in me, to the point that I physically used to shiver when talking to a girl. I don't have a single friend from the first 17 years of my life.

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Undergrad did heal a lot of it, I opened up from my shell, pushed the envelope in terms of my personality, and now genuinely like my personality. I feel I'm amiable to talk to and am quite charming given my empathetic nature and varied interests (or so I've been told by few people).

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I'm 26 now, but the first 17 dominate my life. I yearn for the female friendships I never had. I yearn for the relationships I never had. I yearn for close friendships at an emotional level where you can cry with each other. I yearn to be seen for the true depths of who I am.

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And building such relationships was one of the prime motivators for me to do an MBA. Not networking, but deep emotional bonds.

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And I realised I might be the only one wanting this. I feel so alienated, all the conversation seems to be around CTCs and placements and while fair, it feels soul crushing for me.

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Plus my college has a skewed gender ratio, and I'm finding it incredibly hard to talk to girls. I'm not the kind of person who'll approach someone, but if approached, can yap for hours. I feel like I'm playing a losing game.

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All this has made my time so far in MBA hellish. I feel hollow inside without no fault of anyone else. I'm just constantly trying to plug a massive void inside of me. I understand all these things take time, but man do I feel I'm dead inside at times.

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I just want some close friends and friends from the opposite gender.

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I just want tight memories to look back on.

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I just want to be me around someone.

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I just want to see others and be seen.

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And I think the pursuit of this will be the end of me.

Had my first day today,and feel so out of place. It literally feels as if everyone knows each other already and have their groups figured out.

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I had just left the campus to complete a few loan formalities, and my entire hostel floor is now empty, and people are already walking outside in groups, sharing inside jokes from WA groups etc. Yes I did initiate a few combos during registration today, but everyone has vanished. It's all too intimidating rn.

Just took a walk alone, and had a short weep in my room. Ik ik, it takes time etc etc, but I feel being deeply lonely is my fate. And I've not felt this lonely in a while.

After a 1.5 year long journey of unlocking monk mode alongside a full time job, converted my best call yesterday - MDI Core!

Just 10 days before the programme registeration date!

The anxiety was killing me, but now I finally feel I did justice to my 99.12 percentile.

Onto the 2 years of a transformative journey now.....

Bschools start in a few weeks, and it's time to say bye to people before we leave.

Just yesterday I gave my goodbyes to someone I met during one of the MBA interviews itself, with a curated gift package for them, and honestly, the whole day post that was miserable and I've been such a mess since.

I cried so so much OTW back, didn't go back home and just roamed the streets because I was feeling really empty. My eyes were blood red by the end of the day. Slept barely 4 hours today. Cannot get the thought out of my head almost. I feel we didn't get enough time together before going seperate paths.

I don't have a lot of friends, but I'm planning on giving a similar goodbye from my side to 5 more people whom I consider good friends and want to give a heartfelt card and gifts to them too. And to my parents too.

And honestly, just the thought of this is making my chest heavy. The thought of saying bye to the verrry few precious souls I have in my life, before I go into the uncertain pressure chamber that is Bschool.

How are y'all dealing with this? Have you started your farewell tours already? Do you folks feel as emotionally affected as me?

I know it's too early to ask, but little anxious as need to plan accordingly etc.

OSCM is open for only engineers, but the OMR must include non engineers too, so movement will be higher?

Is 553 realistic to convert, and if yes around which time in June?

Please help if possible!

My friend who was WL at 183 converted today, and now I'm wondering if I have a realistic shot or no? If yes, by when may I convert it, as the session starts 18th June and I will need to plan and apply for loan accordingly.

Feeling super anxious, please help.

Converted both, absolutely unable to decide now.

Open to all domains except Consulting & Finance.

888 GEF with 2 years workex in pharma consulting.

Please help with your insights. Thanks in advance :⁠-⁠)

(PS- Asking for a friend)

Feb 2025, when I decided it's my now-or-never year for MBA, I had promised myself that while I will dedicate all my efforts towards CAT, I will have atleast one day a week dedicated to leisure.

Come March '25, that promise to myself was already broken. I had activated monk mode. Never in my life have I studied with so much dedication and vigour for anything till date. Studying till 3am every day post work, and 12 hour study sessions on weekends, this was all my life was- saying no to everyone and just locking myself in.

Slot 3, came out of the exam room defeated. Feared I might not even get 95%.

Come result day, absolute disbelief hit me- 99.12%.

What. How. Me? Seriously?

A weird yet memorable interview season later, here I am-

Profile for reference - 898 GEM with 2.5 years of work-ex in marketing at a tech firm

Converted - IIM Shillong, U , JAP, MDI IB & HRM, MICA, IIT M

But the sleepless nights didn't end here. All the joy of results got robbed by a sudden dilemma which at that moment felt existential:

Shillong or MICA?

Giving up the IIM Tag, after all this?

Spoke to alums, did my research, gained some more courage.

And put personal alignment and aspirations of marketing over societal expectations and weight of getting into IIM regardless, and finally decided to go with MICA.

As I type this, I can't help but think how much of a role luck has played in this entire journey.

And how much this subreddit helped.

Right from the moment I had a breakdown when I got 36 marks in a mock, to helping me gain clarity to choose a college of my choice instead of blindly running behind tags, this sub has been my closest buddy and support system during this period.

I genuinely feel this CAT prep phase changed me in immeasurable ways, and this subreddit was the closest witness and strongest cheerleader for it at every phase.

To each and every member of this subreddit: a deeply heartfelt thank you from my side for all the support and advice. I wish I could hug all of you.

Hope all of us achieve our dreams, and look forward to contribute to guiding the future batches here as a MICAn now :⁠-⁠)

Cheers to this entire subreddit, y'all are the sweetest of hearts :⁠-⁠D

Feb 2025, when I decided it's my now-or-never year for MBA, I had promised myself that while I will dedicate all my efforts towards CAT, I will have atleast one day a week dedicated to leisure.

Come March '25, that promise to myself was already broken. I had activated monk mode. Never in my life have I studied with so much dedication and vigour for anything till date. Studying till 3am every day post work, and 12 hour study sessions on weekends, this was all my life was- saying no to everyone and just locking myself in.

Slot 3, came out of the exam room defeated. Feared I might not even get 95%.

Come result day, absolute disbelief hit me- 99.12%.

What. How. Me? Seriously?

A weird yet memorable interview season later, here I am-

Profile for reference - 898 GEM with 2.5 years of work-ex in marketing at a tech firm

Converted - IIM Shillong, U , JAP, MDI IB & HRM, MICA, IIT M

But the sleepless nights didn't end here. All the joy of results got robbed by a sudden dilemma which at that moment felt existential:

Shillong or MICA?

Giving up the IIM Tag, after all this?

Spoke to alums, did my research, gained some more courage.

And put personal alignment and aspirations of marketing over societal expectations and weight of getting into IIM regardless, and finally decided to go with MICA.

As I type this, I can't help but think how much of a role luck has played in this entire journey.

And how much this subreddit helped.

Right from the moment I had a breakdown when I got 36 marks in a mock, to helping me gain clarity to choose a college of my choice instead of blindly running behind tags, this sub has been my closest buddy and support system during this period.

I genuinely feel this CAT prep phase changed me in immeasurable ways, and this subreddit was the closest witness and strongest cheerleader for it at every phase.

To each and every member of this subreddit: a deeply heartfelt thank you from my side for all the support and advice. I wish I could hug all of you.

Hope all of us achieve our dreams, and look forward to contribute to guiding the future batches here as a MICAn now :⁠-⁠)

Cheers to this entire subreddit, y'all are the sweetest of hearts :⁠-⁠D