u/feelingtheunknown

We have had one child late 30s and now would be 40 with out next. Id like to hear from older people who had one ot two children. Would you chose to only have one? Or two is good for siblings and was that worth it in your experience?

Im concerned about worrying about them later in life because of how hard it is to buy a house even now. Id hate for them to not be able to get a roof over their heads or be stuck with us forever (as much as I am happy to support them, we arent super well off ourselves). TIA for a different perspective.

Part of me wants another, I loved the baby stage, but part of me is concerned for the bigger problems in later years. Im aware of the saying small children small problems big children big problems. I agree with it.

I am pro choice. This decision has been very hard (abortion or not) and I feel if we had the baby, I would love the baby as my first born was adored as soon as he was earth-side. When pregnant both times I have been unsure. The first baby was supported by my husband, even though I was unsure. The second baby Ive had similar feelings, but part of me thinks Ill adore it, because I have loved my first. My husband has sat down and run some numbers, he is concerned about our finances. His business is just starting out as we have moved to a new area and its quite scary how slow its been. He is used to it taking off like it did previously. The pregnancy has put extra stress on the both of us. I am 9 weeks along. Things have also changed where we live where cost of living is increasing and still is - which concerns us. I was hoping to home school but a second concerns me. The flip side is I feel a sibling would be nice for my son who will be 4 if 2nd baby arrives. Im worried about taking opportunities away from my son by having another, also financially opportunities for my husband and I. My husband has expressed he prefers abortion and is supportive if I want to go ahead.

I feel abortion would really rock me, but I want to do the right thing by my family too. I wonder if I will feel more complete with 2 as people say, but at the same time I dont want to ruin my husbands mental health. He has been losing sleep when Ive discussed keeping it.

Any shared experiences would be appreciated... No pro-lifers please.

Edit to add; Im F39 and hubby is 41, he feels he is a bit old.

I am pro choice. This decision has been very hard (abortion or not) and I feel if we had the baby, I would love the baby as my first born was adored as soon as he was earth-side. When pregnant both times I have been unsure. The first baby was supported by my husband, even though I was unsure. The second baby Ive had similar feelings, but part of me thinks Ill adore it, because I have loved my first. My husband has sat down and run some numbers, he is concerned about our finances. His business is just starting out as we have moved to a new area and its quite scary how slow its been. He is used to it taking off like it did previously. The pregnancy has put extra stress on the both of us. I am 9 weeks along. Things have also changed where we live where cost of living is increasing and still is - which concerns us. I was hoping to home school but a second concerns me. The flip side is I feel a sibling would be nice for my son who will be 4 if 2nd baby arrives. Im worried about taking opportunities away from my son by having another, also financially opportunities for my husband and I. My husband has expressed he prefers abortion and is supportive if I want to go ahead.

I feel abortion would really rock me, but I want to do the right thing by my family too. I wonder if I will feel more complete with 2 as people say, but at the same time I dont want to ruin my husbands mental health. He has been losing sleep when Ive discussed keeping it.

Any shared experiences would be appreciated... No pro-lifers please.

Im early stage pregnant and worried I've traumatised my baby by considering abortion.

I have had pretty extreme stress considering abortion. Hubby was all for abortion due to our circumstances yet supportive if I didnt want to, and I am currently feeling like having the baby is what I want, even though its the harder option long term (financially etc). Now, after weeks of considering abortion (Im almost 9 weeks) and feeling stressed over the decision, Im genuinely worried Ive traumatised the baby inside me. Anyone else had stress or consider abortion strongly and had a completely healthy baby? I almost feel like hate has been sent to the baby by considering it for so long 😕

When hubby and I found out we were pregnant both of our hearts sunk. I feel the weight of the latest changes in this country and our finances on a single income feel dire. We have just moved, hubby hasnt gotten much work with his business. We feel the pinch more than ever, our place likely needs to be sold, finding houses to live arent easy. We cannot afford to be near family so not much help and they arent much help even if we did live there. Hubby prefers abortion but accepts if I cant. I feel so much shame. I feel like there is no way I can tell my son as he grows he would have had a sibling. I feel so much sadness and loss but we are older (40) and our finances dont look good for bringing up another.

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If everything aligned, stability, financial etc I would keep the baby

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I cant help but feel like terminating is killing a baby inside me that I love and Ill live with regret and sadness for a long time. Anyone have any similar stories? This is so hard, I dont want to put more financial pressure on my husband, he already has a lack of patience for our son, I know we would both have less patience with 2, but my husband likely even more so..

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I feel lost, and ashamed. I feel ashamed I want a miscarriage (but they dont run in my family so unlikley).

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Also nausea doesnt help at all. Last time I was sick my whole pregnancy. We dont regret our first, and I was unsure with him but hubby was on board. This time hubby prefers to not have it, but also supports if we do.

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TIA for any shared experiences.