u/flyinghippos101

Since being spotted at the Toronto Raptors' July 14 Summer League Game, the LA Forward Kawhi Leonard has claimed to have been a loyal part of the Toronto Raptors team this whole time since the 2018-19 Championship season, but that 'you clearly were focused on the wrong things.'

Despite living in L.A. and being actively part of the LA Clippers roster since his historic championship run, Leonard has vehemently argued that he had actually been part of the Raptors this whole time, was shopping at Loblaws, and also hates Rob Ford, or whichever fat guy is the Mayor of Ontario.

"What do you mean I'm not part of the team? I've seen guys come and grow, and watched guys like Scottie, Norm, and Jodie Meeks grow leaps and bounds."

Star Forward Scottie Barnes, bemused, seemed to reluctantly accept that Kawhi maybe was around for the last seven years, including the team's historically poor seasons in Tampa Bay and disappointing showings in play-in games.

When pressed if his recent appearances with the Raptors was an attempt to deflect from his controversial time in LA and accusations of cap circumvention, Leonard broke into what could best be described as a chortling laugh before pointing at himself shouting "remember the press conference?! AH-HA HA!”

Robert Yang lives in downtown Toronto off of Spadina, and thought he could recall the moments of disappointment when he found out Kawhi signed with the Clippers in 2019, and the shadenfreude of finding out about the Aspiration scandal in summer 2025.

"Jeez I thought for sure I can recall that agonizing feeling finding out Kawhi didn't want to stay and then never hearing about anything remotely related to Toronto from Kawhi since. But he's here now, so fuck it. Maybe I was just not paying attention after all."

Kawhi, concluded the interview by saying, "I'm just ready for this off-season to be over and look forward to continuing what was definitely an uninterrupted period of time in Toronto, retiring as one of the longest tenured Raptors in franchise history, and working with Prime Minister Trudeau and Masai to promote the game of basketball in Canada."

At press time, Kawhi was seen with Raptors GM Bobby Webster reviewing contracts for no-show opportunities for Québecois sugar shacks for the upcoming season

Editor's Note: The title of the article should read: "Kawhi Leonard claims he was 'here the whole time' in Toronto since 2019, and that you just didn't notice."

The writer has since been sacked for this egregious error, and banished to New Orleans as the Pelicans beat writer

We’ll need to wait to see the details of the deal but the Gordie Howe Bridge will now open with US getting 50% of tolls out of the gate