u/foleyfoliage

I am realising that I have a LOT of intrusive thoughts about romance and to a lesser extent sex. I often worry that people will think I have a crush on them when I do things like compliment them or sit physically near them. My friend group at the moment is very queer so people compliment each other, talk about sex and jokingly flirt with each other a lot, but I have freeze up and often don't reciprocate when people do things that feel too intimate to my brain.

I don't think it is because I am repulsed by that sort of thing - I WANT to cuddle next to my friends and jokingly flirt with them, but I'm so scared I am making them uncomfortable and that they would think it was too out character and that I had a crush.

I feel like this less with friends I've known a long time, but it's still there.

It's also frustrating because I am probably demisexual and there is one person I have been sexually and probably alterously attracted to for a longgg time, which makes my fear and awkwardness around them even worse.

All my friends know I am aroace (not demi, it would be difficult to come out about that because I am into one of them), and they are very supportive, but it's awful regardless. My brain also makes me doubt sometimes that I DO have a crush on people, and it is frustrating. It also makes me feel like a bad aro person for thinking that my strong love for people HAS to be romantic, even though I know that's not fair to myself.

Thanks for reading! has anyone had anything similar? Does anyone have any advice?

I have identified as aroace for years, but recently I’ve been a little obsessed with someone and it’s made me question my sexuality.

It’s always been very difficult to parse the difference between gender envy, aesthetic and platonic attraction, but this person I feel also these things and have imagined sexual scenarios with. I also kind of wonder and fantasise about them feeling the same, which I feel guilty about because they are in a long term relationship. I also think I’ve been in limerence before - I have thought about them and other people in the past constantly for months, largely in a platonic way.

It’s also difficult to tell how much I like the idea of a sexual relationship in general, whether I I am just touch- starved and lonely. I feel like I have internalised aphobia - I don’t feel that platonic activities are as intimate as sexual ones.

Internalised amatonormativity and insecurity is particularly affevting me I think when I talk to this person. I am so taken aback by my uncertain feelings for them that I have avoided talking to them a bit, and when I do I am somewhat passive aggressive or defensive. This is so frustrating because I know we genuinely get on, but I generally act very insecure around people I think are ‘cooler’ or ‘better’ than me, and now I’m dealing wiht the extra pressure of wondering if they can tell that I am attracted to them. I fear even more that I am romantically attracted to them, but the idea of being in a relationship is so foreign to me I don’t think I am.

I know I don’t have to come out as anything, but I feel like telling ppl about being demi would naturally make them wonder how i figured it out - which of our friends am i attracted to to know that.

I don’t want to hurt my friend and I want to be comfortable in my sexuality ☹️

So I started with Imago Health a few months ago and I recently got my blood tested in order to go on testosterone with them.

However, with Imago’s relocation to the US, which was poorly handled and involved a lot of staff being fired, I’m worried whether I should continue with them and send them my blood results. A lot of people have been worried that their data is now very unsafe, that it could be accessed by the US government. I’m wondering how likely does everyone think this is to happen, and what would be the consequences if it did?

Is anyone still using/going to use Imago as a provider?

I really don’t want to switch to a different health service because I’ve been waiting for HRT for a very long time, and I don’t currently have the money to go with a different provider. I’m feeling rlly stuck and frustrated because I felt like I was so close to getting on t and now I’m not sure I can.

So I started with Imago Health a few months ago and I recently got my blood tested in order to go on testosterone with them.

However, with Imago’s relocation to the US, which was poorly handled and involved a lot of staff being fired, I’m worried whether I should continue with them and send them my blood results. A lot of people have been worried that their data is now very unsafe, that it could be accessed by the US government. I’m wondering how likely does everyone think this is to happen, and what would be the consequences if it did?

Is anyone still using/going to use Imago as a provider?

I really don’t want to switch to a different health service because I’ve been waiting for HRT for a very long time, and I don’t currently have the money to go with a different provider. I’m feeling rlly stuck and frustrated because I felt like I was so close to getting on t and now I’m not sure I can.

I'm very confused and in my own head, I realise this is a lot but i'd be immensely grateful for any reply. Useful context: I'm transmasc nonbinary aroace and I have diagnosed social anxiety.

So I've had what I wonder might be limerence about people in the past and present, particularly two people I've met recently. My obsession with the first person only faded when they moved away and I had no contact with them for a few months, during which time they sort of became replaced by the second person. For both I think/thought about them often multiple times a day, I had fantasies of them being magically teleported to me, was unable to get to sleep for hours some nights after having a great conversation with them because i was so happy, or unable to sleep because i was so scared i had creeped them out, etc.

I think a LOT of my obsession with them is gender envy and general envy, because they are so much of what I want to be. It's insecurity, and I feel like i'm masquerading as someone smarter and more interesting than I am when i am around them. I am in a way - I keep lying or bending the truth about myself and things I know because they are the most interesting people I have ever met. It's frustrating because I'm pretty sure they both like talking to me, and all 3 of us have got on really really well as a group.

Anyway, what has confused me the most is that I have had some romantic and sexual thoughts about the both of them, and sometimes I've kind of enjoyed it. I find myself trying to decpiher the romantic songs the person I'm obsessed wih right now puts on their instagram notes in the hope that they're about me. I've worried a LOT about my sexuality because of this. I was afraid that my extreme anxiety around them was obvious and they'd 'figure out' it was attraction(?). It's not just them - I worry all the time that my attempts to bond with people will be interpreted as romantic or sexual, even though all my friends have been supportive of me being aroace for years.

I have also felt like a creep in women's spaces all my life, I think largely because of my transness, but I've also had a thing on and off throughout my life where my eyes keep flicking to women's boobs, even though I don't want to look at them. It could also be a trans thing in that I don't understand how women can be okay with having boobs when I hate mine, but I worry it's attraction.

In general I am very uncomfortable being physically close to people in any way, because a) I'm not used to it but b) I feel like I am going to make them uncomfortable. I find it particularly it difficult to be near to men, because even though all my friends are very accepting, I keep thinking I am into them, and they are into me in a straight way. I also think this way about two people who are bi and nonbinary, and it feels as though I am invalidating their identity by judging them by their AGAB (they're AMAB).

Want to add that I spend a probably unhealthy amount of time thinking about my friends in general, I love them a lot, they're like characters that constantly inhabit my head, their lives feel more interesting than mine.

Also, I want to add that I feel as though I crave some sort romantic or sexual attraction. It's hard for me to find myself desirable in any sense due to dysphoria and self - esteem issues, so I feel like I want people to be attracted to me for external validation? Anyway, I'd like to be hot because it would be nice to be, and I've only ever been told I am once.

TLDR: I have have been obsessed with people and had romantic and sexual thoughts about them which I have kind of liked? I often feel like a creep and obsess over whether I am perceiving others or others are perceiving me in a romantic or sexual light.

Really sorry this is a lot, I have tried posting something similar to the anxiety subreddit but I got no replies. Have a good day, whoever you are reading this!

I'm very confused and in my own head, I realise this is a lot but i'd be immensely grateful for any reply. Useful context: I'm transmasc nonbinary aroace and I have diagnosed social anxiety.

So I've had what I wonder might be limerence about people in the past and present, particularly two people I've met recently. My obsession with the first person only faded when they moved away and I had no contact with them for a few months, during which time they sort of became replaced by the second person. For both I think/thought about them often multiple times a day, I had fantasies of them being magically teleported to me, was unable to get to sleep for hours some nights after having a great conversation with them because i was so happy, or unable to sleep because i was so scared i had creeped them out, etc.

I think a LOT of my obsession with them is gender envy and general envy, because they are so much of what I want to be. It's insecurity, and I feel like i'm masquerading as someone smarter and more interesting than I am when i am around them. I am in a way - I keep lying or bending the truth about myself and things I know because they are the most interesting people I have ever met. It's frustrating because I'm pretty sure they both like talking to me, and all 3 of us have got on really really well as a group.

Anyway, what has confused me the most is that I have had some romantic and sexual thoughts about the both of them, and sometimes I've kind of enjoyed it. I find myself trying to decpiher the romantic songs the person I'm obsessed wih right now puts on their instagram notes in the hope that they're about me. I've worried a LOT about my sexuality because of this. I was afraid that my extreme anxiety around them was obvious and they'd 'figure out' it was attraction(?). It's not just them - I worry all the time that my attempts to bond with people will be interpreted as romantic or sexual, even though all my friends have been supportive of me being aroace for years.

I have also felt like a creep in women's spaces all my life, I think largely because of my transness, but I've also had a thing on and off throughout my life where my eyes keep flicking to women's boobs, even though I don't want to look at them. It could also be a trans thing in that I don't understand how women can be okay with having boobs when I hate mine, but I worry it's attraction.

In general I am very uncomfortable being physically close to people in any way, because a) I'm not used to it but b) I feel like I am going to make them uncomfortable. I find it particularly it difficult to be near to men, because even though all my friends are very accepting, I keep thinking I am into them, and they are into me in a straight way. I also think this way about two people who are bi and nonbinary, and it feels as though I am invalidating their identity by judging them by their AGAB (they're AMAB).

Want to add that I spend a probably unhealthy amount of time thinking about my friends in general, I love them a lot, they're like characters that constantly inhabit my head, their lives feel more interesting than mine.

Also, I want to add that I feel as though I crave some sort romantic or sexual attraction. It's hard for me to find myself desirable in any sense due to dysphoria and self - esteem issues, so I feel like I want people to be attracted to me for external validation? Anyway, I'd like to be hot because it would be nice to be, and I've only ever been told I am once.

Really sorry this is a lot, I have tried posting something similar to the anxiety subreddit but I got no replies. Have a good day, whoever you are reading this!

I've been realising lately that I'm constantly obsessing about sex and romance as an aroace person.

I've had anxious thoughts about romance a little before, but in the last few months it has gone into overdrive. I think because I have started uni and I have such a big friend group and I am constantly around people, therefore there are a lot of people to worry about and for my thoughts to latch onto.

I think it's very possible I have been in limerence before - several times in my life I have latched onto a person and been unable to stop thinking about them. things would remind me of them all the time and I would have imaginary conversations with them in my head all the time, which made me happy in the short term but always stressed me out overall because i didn't want to be like that. It was incredibly difficult to look them in the eye or speak to them normally, I would stress wildly any conversation with them and I would have to make an effort not to mention them all the time around other people.

I've also imagined romantic or sexual scenarios with some of these people, which I have kind of enjoyed within the thoughts even thought I don't think I would want it irl. I worry I just want as much attention from them as possible and I feel like romance or sex is the highest level of that. I don't believe that logically, but I don't know. it's made me question my sexuality a lot.

I have been obsessed with two very similar people at uni so far, the first left university at the height of my obsession with them, so I've only heard from them once since. I feel guilty that them leaving helped me get over my obsession, because they left due to serious mental health issues, but I know it's not my fault. i think a large part of my obsession stems from the fact that they are so much of what I want to be, both in a gender envy sense and their overall personality and interests. It's insecurity, and I feel like i'm masquerading as someone smarter and more interesting than I am when i am around them. I literally am - I keep lying or bending the truth about myself and things I know because I don't want them to know i don't have any hobbies or motivation or care to do anything.

I also spend quite a lot of time thinking about all of my friends in general - I love them a lot but I think I think far more about them than they think about me. Their lives seem so much more real than mine so I think about them.

In general I am very uncomfortable being physically close to people in any way, because a) I'm not used to it but b) I feel like I am going to make them uncomfortable. I have gotten a lot better at it lately, but I am still finding it particularly it difficult to be near to men, because even though all my friends are very accepting of me being aroace and enby, which I have known for years, I keep thinking I am into my friends in a straight way or they are into me in a straight way. I also think this way about two people who are bi and nonbinary, and it feels as though I am invalidating their identity by judging them by their AGAB (they're AMAB).

I've had pedophilic thoughts on and off for years, along with thoughts about incest and sometimes beastiality. I have almost completely convinced myself that they are not true, but I still have a nagging fear that they are because they've never bothered me that much - I just push them to the side. It feels like my mind is numb to feeling any true disgust about them, and it's always been that way. I don't ever want to hurt anyone, but I also don't seem to care. Sometimes I feel like I enjoy thinking sick things, because it makes me edgy and different, but then I wonder if that is an intrusive thought too. I think I appreciate intrusive thoughts because they are something I can point to and say there's clearly something wrong with me, because I feel bad so much of the time I need something to point to to prove it.

This is a lot, but everything I've said bothers me and it compounds together until I don't know what to think, so I'm glad I've got this off my chest a little.

Really sorry if it's hard to read!! I wrote it over several sittings and I just needed to get it out before I chickened out. Also realise this might fit on the OCD subreddit, but I don't have OCD so

TLDR: I am aroace but I keep thinking obsessing a LOT over, and thinking romantic and sexual thoughts about people I care about. I also have had pedophilic and incestual thoughts on and off in the past. All of this makes me feel like a creep and confuses me.

Hi, I'm nonbinary transmasc aiming to start on hormones soon with Imago Health, and a couple days ago I booked to get a female hormone test in person at a Randox Health clinic.

Imago has lots of blood test requirements that aren't on the female hormone test, so I sent a form back to Randox asking them to add the additional tests to my booking (I have read that other people on the subreddit have done this and it has worked out fine).

However, they have not responded yet and I'm wondering if they ever will? Should I try sending them an email instead and see if that works? The clinic is close to me so could I ask them in person? I don't really want to buy a far more expensive general blood test as that would be unecessary, and I'd prefer not to do an at home test if I can help it.

I still have time to reschedule or cancel the appointment so I've got time. i'm just eager to get on t soon. If anyone has any idea about any of this I would be so grateful :)