u/freethytits

I'm genuinely concerned and confused about why I've developed this habit of daydreaming about mostly being violently or harshly treated by someone but at the same time being loved and cared for by them. I've also had rape fantasies, which honestly makes me feel extremely guilty and disgusting because obviously I'd never actually want something like that to happen to me in real life.

I searched about it a bit and found out that apparently a lot of women have fantasies like this, which honestly surprised me because I thought I was just messed up in the head for thinking about such stuff.

But like, why does this happen? How do some people develop these kinds of fantasies and eventually start craving them? I've heard people say it can be related to trauma and while I can understand how that might be the case for some people, I also know that not everyone who has these fantasies has experienced trauma.

So what actually causes it? Is it something to do with the way our brains process sex, intimacy, power, fear etc? And why can something that would be absolutely horrifying in real life become something that feels appealing in a fantasy?

I'd genuinely like to hear from women who experience this too, especially if you've ever figured out why you have these fantasies. I'm mostly trying to understand where this comes from because the guilt around it has been making me feel really shitty about myself.

I know Umar Khalid is a controversial figure, with many people supporting him and many strongly opposing him. I just want to have a genuine discussion because I feel like I may have misunderstood him.

I've watched several of his interviews and speeches and they often come across as progressive. He talks about democracy, equality and constitutional values in a way that makes him seem like someone with revolutionary ideas who wants to bring positive change.

At the same time, I've come across other things that make me question whether I should support him or not.

For example, he once tweeted in support of Burhan Wani, who is widely regarded as a terrorist. He's also spoken multiple times about "freeing Kashmir" and has referred to Kashmir as being under Indian occupation, which I find off. Then there's the controversy around Afzal Guru, where he appeared to speak sympathetically about him. I also saw a widely circulated video, which doesn't seem to be edited, in which he says "Kitne Afzal maroge? Har ghar se Afzal niklega".

These things make me question whether I'm missing some context or whether my doubts are justified. I'd like to hear different perspectives, preferably backed by evidence rather than personal attacks. What do y'all think?

I was able to post successfully on the same subreddit a few days ago. Now, whenever I upload a new post, it immediately shows "Deleted" on the corner like just the delete logo after I submit it. I didn't delete it myself, and I don't receive any AutoModerator message explaining why. My account can still comment and post elsewhere. Does anyone know what could be causing this?

I've seen many women say that feminism is about choice, that women should be free to choose whatever they want, even if that choice reinforces or supports patriarchy.

And this is something I've been thinking about a lot recently and I'd genuinely like to hear opinions.

From what I've read, feminism, historically and theoretically was never just a lifestyle philosophy centered on individual preferences. It emerged as a political movement aimed at dismantling patriarchy, a system of power that privileges men and masculinity while subordinating women as a class.

When feminism gets reduced to "choice" it shifts the focus away from that system, like the problem isn't choice itself but treating choice as the end goal rather than asking what shapes those choices. In a patriarchal society many choices are influenced by social conditioning, economic pressures, fear of consequences or the desire for male approval. That doesn't mean women are stupid or brainwashed, it simply means no one makes decisions in a vacuum.

Liberation is different from choice. Liberation asks questions like, who benefits from this norm? Who is constrained by it? What happens if a woman refuses it? Would this norm still exist if patriarchy didn't?

When feminism centers liberation, it becomes collective and political rather than purely personal. It's about changing material conditions, laws, culture and power relations so that women are not forced to adapt to oppression and then call it empowerment.

Seeing patriarchy as the problem doesn't mean blaming individual men. It means recognizing a system that shapes behavior, rewards dominance and normalizes inequality. In that sense, feminism isn't about validating every personal decision. It's about asking whether those decisions move women closer to freedom as a group.

What do you think? Do you see feminism primarily as a movement for individual choice or as a movement for women's liberation? Can every choice be considered feminist simply because a woman made it?