u/frenchlavender1

Hi all,

This sub has been the most kind, respectful and helpful place for me anytime I’ve had doubts about anything from miscarriage to pregnancy and beyond. So hoping to get some advice again!

As a FTM, I’m always questioning if I’m doing things right. My LO has never been a good sleeper, always waking up multiple times a night. But at 3.5 months the sleep regressed so badly and he just turned 4 months a week ago.

He’s been waking every hour through the night and has a strong pacifier association with sleep. Let me clarify that I don’t mind giving pacifier because it reduces the risk of SIDS and helps comfort my baby. It wasn’t like this until 3 months and we only introduced pacifier at 2.5 months. We rock him to sleep at night or sometimes he falls asleep during bottle feeding (he’s mostly breastfed except bedtime bottle which is formula). He wakes up as soon as the paci falls out of his mouth and we keep replacing it every 15 minutes. Last night the cycle just went on from 4 am!!

Even for naps (1 crib, 1 stroller and 2 contact), he will wake up from deep sleep even if he’s on my chest or lap or carrier, looking for paci to soothe himself.. We aren’t sure if we want to sleep train - we are yet to discuss that. But I don’t know if I’m overthinking things or need to do something different so everyone gets some rest.

Any advice/suggestions are appreciated!

My 4 month old is addicted to pacifier for naps. We only introduced at 2.5 months during witching hours because we were going crazy with his reflux and crying. Since a month he’s waking up from contact naps asking for pacifier. Initially we gave it so he could just get some sleep after a few crappy crib naps. Now it seems like he just wants paci for all naps, whether he’s in a carrier or on my chest or lap or crib. Doesn’t matter!!

For nighttime, my husband picks him up from crib and rocks him 3-4 times when he fusses. Our LO is generally not a good sleeper, sometimes we get frustrated and give paci at night so we could get some sleep. Again, very rarely we do that. So nighttime is still ok.

My mom is leaving in a week and husband only works from home once a week. I’m on mat leave until November. So I can’t imagine doing all contact naps by myself with this paci addiction. I want to be able to put him in a carrier and go out without having to replace pacifier every 15 mins.

Do I go cold turkey or do it gradually? If I use it just to get him to sleep and then remove it, will he still ask for it? Appreciate any advice/suggestions 🙏🏽😭

If this matters - he’s 80% breastfed and 20% formula fed. Very rarely nurses to sleep, so he’s great at switching between breast and bottle.

I’m 4 months pp and I feel so guilty saying that I’m not really enjoying motherhood like I thought I would. He is our rainbow baby and I love him so much. I’m his favourite, he giggles only with me and smiles so big when he sees my face even tho we spend all the time at home together.

I have always been so independent, career driven and liked solitude/my alone time with a book, exploring my creative side etc. All I do now is breastfeed, play, tummy time and contact naps stuck to the recliner because he hates carriers. He is also not a good sleeper, not just because of the 4th month regression, he’s been the same always. He needs constant attention and I feel so tired. Even with a lot of help from my mom (laundry, food, bottles is all taken care of by her) and husband (bedtime feeding plus evening playtime), I feel so lost. Some moms do it all by themselves with no help and I’m complaining even with all this help.

I feel extremely guilty because he didn’t ask to be born and I very much wanted to be a mom. Now I’m wondering if I’m too independent and selfish to be a mom? The idea of motherhood was more colourful than the reality. When I go out for a walk or a massage appointment, I don’t really look forward to going home because I want to spend time by myself. I feel like my baby deserves a better mom than me.

Crying as I type this. I’m a FTM to my sweet baby boy. I’ve always slept great throughout my life, even during third trimester. Baby has always been a bad sleeper and that didn’t affect me much either. I could breastfeed him multiple times a night and still go back to sleep. Suddenly I’ve been struggling to sleep past 4 am since 7-8 days now. In the last 3 days I’ve only slept 3-4 hours.

Tried everything from sleeping in the other room, husband taking care of the overnight feedings, magnesium supplements, nothing is working. I’m going to try melatonin tonight but I’m just so exhausted and worried about PPD.

On top of all this when I woke up at 5 this morning, my husband was like - omg why are you awake, go sleep. I’m so shocked you didn’t take melatonin to go back to sleep, why didn’t you take tylenol for headaches, I rocked the baby all night so he doesn’t cry and wake you up!!!! instead of being like we will figure this out and get you the help you need and hugging me he just was like go back to sleep. BITCH I CANT!!!! I physically cannot, I’m struggling can’t you see??!! I told him to just leave me alone and go sleep. Baby is on my lap right now because that’s the only thing that will give me comfort. My mom is here, so it’s been a huge help but I’m worried I’m developing sleep anxiety and won’t come out of it and this will develop into something bigger.

Anyone struggled with sleep postpartum?

ETA: Thank you everyone for all the tips!! Truly helps to know you’re not alone in this.

I’ve been having really bad insomnia since this last week, I’m 4 months postpartum. My LO is only waking up once for overnight feed. But after feeding him or pumping to manage engorgement or even using the washroom, I’m struggling to fall back asleep. My primary care doctor told me 3mg melatonin should be okay to take but I’m seeing mixed results online about it regarding breastfeeding.

I’m considering either pumping before bed or giving him formula at night so my husband can do the feeding and I can sleep for a good stretch.

Any suggestions? TIA

My almost 4 month old won’t breastfeed if I don’t sing to him!!! He will unlatch and cry if I stop even for a second.

This is something new he has picked up lol. He was on a nursing strike for a bit, so I started singing “wheels on the bus”, “old McDonald” and “you’re my sunshine” to get him to latch and stop crying. Now he won’t breastfeed if I don’t sing🫠

It’s cute, frustrating and hilarious at the same time!