r/NewMomStuff

My husband and have been through hell and back to try to conceive and after many prayers, I finally hit the 2nd trimester! We have a baby girl due and we both like this name but we want to run it by other people first, to see if it would be hard to pronounce or be mispronounced regularly.

Thanks for the help in advance!

Kay-LEE-uh is the pronunciation we are going for. We are open to new spellings of this name to try to achieve this pronunciation too!

Hi, my bestie just had her first baby a few months ago & is in the throws of postpartum anxiety. She doesn't live super close & isn't the kind of person to ask for help. Whenever I go over the house is super clean , the laundry is done & everything is tidy so I don't know what else I can DO to help her out.

Should I bring over a meal?? What else can I do to support her during this time? I hate going there empty handed.

Please, any thoughts or advice is welcome 💚

Hi, I have a nearly beautiful nearly 9 month old. So her next checkup should be in the next few weeks. I’m just concerned as her bottle intake has decreased (I know can be normal due to weaning). But looking back at photos of her from a month ago she has lost a lot of weight. She’s not moving yet but extremely alert and trying her best to move…
I am purely a bit concerned based off looking back at pictures and also her rolls/face aren’t as pudgy. She was always on the 50thcentile. 7pound 5oz when born. Eats 2 meals a day and 3 small snacks (tried to up to 3 meals which led to about 10oz a day of bottles) ://
Can someone reassure me or point me in the right direction…. Is it normal around this age for weight loss even before moving/crawling. 10oz a day is defo not enough… right?? Bottles are main nutrition or should I go with more food? Not looking for medical advice as such as we have checkup coming up, just looking for reassurance or guidance as I am a first time mother. Someone also pointed out her weight loss today which has made me spiral (PPA And OCD 😭)

Many of my friends commented I look younger and fresher after giving birth.

My partner stopped drinking when I was 8 months pregnant after a few bad blackout incidents, including flirting with and grabbing another woman while I was there pregnant. Sober, he’s amazing, and I’m really proud of him for staying sober.
I’m almost 5 months postpartum and I handle the baby every night plus most of the household stuff. I finally asked for one night to relax, poured my first glass of wine in forever, and planned to watch a movie. He immediately started telling me I shouldn’t drink and that we need to set a better example as parents. It annoyed me enough that I poured it out and went to bed.
I think what bothered me is that I’ve never had an issue with alcohol, yet because he did, it now feels like his sobriety is becoming a rule for me too. Especially when this was supposed to be my one little night to myself.
Moms, what’s your take? Is an occasional glass of wine after baby is asleep perfectly reasonable, or do you think becoming parents changes that?

Hello, I'm 22(F) my son is 2 years old. I want to start working again. But, my husband doesn't want to put our son into daycare. He " doesn't want someone else raising our kid." It is also expensive and such. I don't really do well at home. I feel way more productive under structured routine. As a SAHM I feel like I'm loosing myself a bit. I love my son, and feel a bit guilty that I want to be working. I know other women don't get the option of staying home and would love to. I was considering waiting until my sons in Kindergarten. My husband wants more kids, I also want my son to have a sibilng. I don't know if I should have another baby now, or go back to work and then have one later or what. I'm feeling a bit conflicted cause I'm not sure about what I should do. Will it be easier to have another baby now? then wait until they are both in school to start working. but then I would be at home another 6 or so years... that feels like a long time. I don't know. Should I have another kid now and wait? or start working, put him in daycare. I honestly don't know what's the right thing to do. all advice is greatly appreciated. sorry if I seem a bit scatterbrained and unplanned. I thought I wanted to have a lot of kids and be a SAHM. Now I have a son, and I'm kind of back pedaling on how hard it actually is.

literally just gave birth what feels like an oh so short 5 months ago… (lol) and as the title states, I’m in unfamiliar terrain with this postpartum…

Idk even know how to explain without sounding completely shallow ? But faaaaaq.

I’m 33, 5’7 & pre weight was 155-165 (would easily fluctuate), limber/flexible af, never experienced real muscle or bone aches and pains, although my joint would crack all the time, esp my hips/knees/ankles. Mobility was never an issue, I stayed on the go but was not a gym rat by any means…

Postpartum bod was almost looking a little too skinny/ill due to breastfeeding but my consistent 99th percentile babes was so gassy all the time, I opted to pump but give formula to see if it helped - and it did - so I made the decision to just stick with the formula as it seemed to be better for my big little fella.

But then woof, wham! Seemed like overnight I went from 165 to 180 and I’ve been hanging out here for almost 2 months? I am SO sore, like feel so stiff despite my constant movement either babes. Like I said, 99% so he is already 25 lbs and counting at 5 months… so my left elbow is literally fucked- I know I have tendinitis or tennis elbow. My left lower back is killing me, sharp shooting pain and it’s getting so bad I can barely get up and down from sitting on the fucking floor, I move like molasses.

Have I been using proper body mechanics when lifting this big little fart? No, not always but not never. Damn, it caught me quick and I’m starting to worry about not being able to pick him up soon to do the basic shit… I am a single mother, so I do not have extra hands in my home to assist.

My legs are constantly throbbing with a lot of pain behind my knees? Ik, weird…

I used body oil in my belly 2x/day when I was pregnant so my stretch marks are minimal and I almost had a flat stomach like prepreg when I was breastfeeding but now I got me a little lower belly fat ʀᴏʟʟ.

And on top of all that, I have been completely neglecting myself in order to take the best care of bubs… plus, I don’t have the funds (or time) (or energy) to get my hair & nails & lashes done.

I look so dingey and crusty since becoming a mother, it’s been a very humbling experience to say the least

love my baby sm and completely understand that these moments (both good & not so good) won’t last forever plus him & I, we are both new to our roles and we are figuring it out together… :o)

sorry to long. thanks for coming to auntkel’s tedtalk. thanks for reading ❥

hello! i just switched from bf to pumping 3 weeks ago. my hand from the hospital said babies from 1-12 months take in 25-32oz a day.

i do think im in a bit of an oversupply? i can get 7oz out at night. i pump once or twice during the night - i do it when she wakes up. and then every 2-3 hours during the day when i get 3-5oz out.

baby is sleeping 5-7 hour stretches at night. i usually give her 3-4oz during the day every 2-3 hours. no real schedule nap or wake time, i just go off her cues and try to wake her every 2-3 hours if she hasn’t eaten and nap is going during the day. she has been taking in 27-30oz a day.

i am worried about overfeeding/underfeeding. she was born 6lbs10oz and is now 9.8 on my home scale, she will be 8 weeks wednesday.

any input would be great! first time mom here who overthinks everything

My partner is traveling for work next month and I'll be handling nights by myself for the first time. For those who've done the solo-parenting thing, what feeding-related product actually helped the most?

Looking back, was there anything you bought that made bottles, warming, washing, or feeding noticeably easier when you didn't have an extra set of hands?

My 1-year-old went in today to have a dermoid cyst removed behind ear. The surgeon operated in the wrong location (2-3 inches away from cyst on head) and removed a lymph node instead. The cyst is still there, so my baby now needs another surgery. Doctor admitted the mistake when we showed him after surgery that cyst is still there. I feel devastated, angry, guilty, and unable to accept what happened. Just looking for some support from other parents.

My best friend (21F) just had her first baby!!! She is little (5lbs 7oz), and she was induced early. They have most of the stuff off their registry, but I'm looking to get her something special. I'm not a parent, so I have no idea where to start, and I figured Reddit may have good answers! So, what's something you wish you had as a first time mom that you never would have thought to get? Maybe something new?

I'm looking to spend up to like $200, but if there's something really awesome that's over that process range, feel free to drop it and I'll look into it.

Thank you in advance for any and all help!!

My fiancée (25F) and I are expecting our first child together. She’s very feminine/girly, loves dressing up, taking pictures, pretty scenery, and events with a nice atmosphere. She’s also a major people-pleaser and hates family conflict.
I originally wanted nothing to do with planning her shower. I always thought this was something the mothers handled, so my mom, her mom, and her stepmom were supposed to plan it together.

My mom absolutely dropped the ball. She became frustrated with the planning, stopped communicating for several weeks, and didn’t provide our guest list when she should have. I wish she had handled that completely differently, and I’m not defending it.
However, my fiancée’s mom had been extremely budget-focused from the beginning.
The first idea was a community/senior-center type venue that might have been free. My mom had actually attended a shower there before and told them she found it pretty underwhelming, but that option was still considered.

Her mom also initially wanted a roughly 3-hour afternoon shower partly so they could serve little/no food or just light snacks. Her stepmom disagreed with that, and so did my fiancée when she later heard about the food idea.

They eventually settled on an older church hall for roughly $150. It does hold the guest list, but it’s a pretty basic/dated space with strict rules: no alcohol and restrictions on certain games, snacks, and activities that the church considers inappropriate.

Her father is extremely attached to the church. My fiancée attended preschool there, although it is now a completely different church/denomination than when she attended.

He also says it’s sentimental because he, his current wife, and their children became a blended family there, and because the hall is near where the preschool nurse’s office used to be, which he thinks will make my fiancée reminisce about how far she’s come.

He says he had to personally ask the current pastor twice to allow the shower there.
I genuinely had no idea my fiancée considered this place particularly sentimental, if she even does. We’ve driven past it many times, and the only thing she’s ever said to me is basically, “I went to preschool there.”

We aren’t religious as a couple and have never attended church or prayed together. To me, a lot of the sentiment seems to belong to her father and stepmom, although obviously I could be wrong about how she feels.

Once I finally stepped in, we determined there are about 29 potential guests from her side and 27 from mine.
My family also made clear that they absolutely want to contribute financially. Her mom and stepmom had apparently assumed my family wasn’t going to contribute.

My sister then researched several alternatives in roughly the $400–$750 range: scenic/heated farm pavilions, brewery event spaces, and a lodge/banquet facility.
They offer better scenery and photo opportunities, more flexibility with food/activities, and some allow outside catering. My family is willing to pay the additional venue cost.

Some of the alternatives happen to be at breweries, which became another objection because my fiancée is pregnant and can’t drink.
But these are event pavilions/spaces people rent for showers and other events. Nobody has to drink. My fiancée doesn’t mind other people drinking around her and has occasionally had nonalcoholic beer during her pregnancy, including around her father, who has bought it for her before.

Other objections have included a relative being allergic to bees, another family member already having a bridal shower at one of the venues, and decorations supposedly already being purchased specifically for the church.

I’m not demanding a brewery or any particular venue. One alternative isn’t even a brewery. I just want the options genuinely considered.
What bothers me is that I haven’t really been allowed to present them.

Her stepmom told me that she and my fiancée’s mom “have this handled” and are moving forward as planned. Her mom asked me to simply send the names/addresses for my 27 guests and said this is “more of a mother/daughter event.”

Her father was also upset that I contacted the church myself to verify capacity and told me to let the women handle it.
He initially blamed my mom’s lack of communication and suggested the situation might now require two separate showers.

I completely understand why they’re angry with my mom. I am too.
But her mom and stepmom both had my phone number and never contacted me when my mom stopped responding. Questions instead eventually went through my pregnant fiancée.

Now that I’m trying to repair things, my entire side of the family still seems to have essentially no input.
My family doesn’t want control. My sister would actually be a much better representative than my mom at this point. She researched these alternatives because she genuinely wants to make the shower special, and I would happily step completely back out if the women could resume planning collaboratively.

My concern is also bigger than “expensive venue good, cheap venue bad.”
Her mom originally wanted little/no food, and now the plan is apparently premade grocery-store sandwiches.
Combined with the free community-center idea, $150 church, and resistance to alternatives even when my family offers to pay the difference, it feels like minimizing cost has consistently been the driving consideration.
Her mom has told me that what matters is “the people who come, the love we share, and the gifts she will receive.”

I understand that philosophy. But I worry it translates into the surroundings/food/experience not really mattering as long as we technically threw her a shower.
For comparison, earlier this year my fiancée threw me a milestone birthday party.
I didn’t even particularly care about having one.
She rented a nice brewery event room for under $500, invited 40+ people, and created a wonderful event that I still remember.

I want her shower for her first baby to at least match, if not exceed, the care and experience she gave me.
She’s the type of woman who loves pretty things, pictures, and making events feel special.
I’m genuinely worried she’s going to walk into a restrictive, generic church hall with grocery-store sandwiches and smile because she’s a people-pleaser, while it isn’t remotely the shower she would have chosen for herself.
At the same time, she has explicitly said she does NOT want two showers.

My family is frustrated enough now that they’re considering throwing their own. I understand why, but I don’t want her stuck between competing families.
There is still time before the shower.
Interestingly, her mom’s first response to me was actually fairly reasonable. She said several people were on vacation and that everyone could regroup when they returned.

Only afterward did I start getting the “we have it handled/moving forward as planned” responses.
So my preferred solution is pretty simple:
Acknowledge that my mom screwed up, have my sister replace her as my family’s representative, let both sides sit down when everyone is back, put the church and the other venues on the table, let my family contribute financially, and plan ONE shower together based on what my fiancée would actually enjoy.

I’m not asking anyone to cancel the church before that conversation.
I’m not demanding my preferred venue.
I’m not trying to take the shower away from her mom or stepmom.

If they refuse to even consider alternatives or allow my family back into planning, though, I’m struggling with what to do next.

Do I back off and let them throw the shower they’ve planned?

Do I privately ask my fiancée what kind of venue/event she’d actually want without telling her about the family fight?

Or, if her family refuses any collaboration whatsoever, is my family justified in taking over and hosting one shower that everyone—including her family—is still invited to?

I don’t care about winning a venue argument.
I want one family shower, not two, and I want my fiancée to walk into it and feel like everyone planned it around her, not around everybody else’s budget, nostalgia, hurt feelings, or preferences.

what’re some things you wish you’d knew about postpartum or the newborn stage? The things people don’t always tell you about or maybe just forget. I have 3 kids and honestly don’t remember every detail about each stage lol but i’m asking because my SIL is due soon so I wanted to give her some words of encouragement and love but also maybe helpful tips, if she even wants it lol just thought I would share with her. I have a list but would love to hear others experiences
Thanks!

Hi All, My sister had a rough labour and ended up needing a c section. She just had her baby today and won't be out of hospital for a few days. I want help her and her partner as best I can. I was thinking of cleaning her house, getting her a recovery basket for her bedside table of snacks and drinks and prepping some dinners that only require reheating or dumping in the slow cooker.

To all the mothers what did/would have made your lives easier? What did you appreciate or didnt like as support from family?

Title says it all
Terrified and don’t know what to do
Anyone whose been there before any and all tips are appreciated
We were barely getting by in terms of schedules feeding etc and now this, I don’t know for example what we are supposed to do on the delivery date.
Do i need to leave my husband and go alone or start training my mom on how to feed my son etc?

I have a family member that just gave birth about two weeks ago. I will be seeing her for the first time next week and I really want to get a gift for her and the baby.

What is a good gift to give to new moms? Usually everyone focuses on the baby so I want to give her something that will make her feel seen, relaxed, or helpful.

Thanks!

I became a new mom almost 7 months ago, and I remember how lonely and difficult the first few weeks were, and the friends who showed up during that time.

My friend just gave birth to her first baby yesterday, and I want to support her the way I wish more people had!

I’m going to take them dinner one night, but I also want to take a charcuterie grazing box and fruit salad (I remember how hard lunches were after my husband’s paternity ended).

Do any of you have any other suggestions of things I could take or do for her that stuck out to you as super supportive when you had a baby?