u/futurecorpse1985

I'm not a girlfran (cringes) of Jamie's but she continues to think moms are the only women out there being boss babes. If you're going to do something that benefits women you're missing a large demographic of childless women who still are incredibly busy. Just saying this as a generality for people in general. I wouldn't recommend her makeup to a clown!

I'm 40 years old and have never been a parent myself so perhaps I'm not understanding the situation I'm dealing with. So my mom is in her 4th marriage and my dad is on his 3rd. My current step was inappropriate with me for many years and just last year I finally told my mom. She basically told me he is a good man he would never! She had a talk with my stepdad and he admitted to everything. She then told me I couldn't tell anyone because if people knew she chose to stay with him it would make her look like a horrible mother. I have 0 contact with my stepdad now. I avoid anything he will be at. Ok now here is where the dilemma lies. I have been dating a man for the last month who has the moral compass of GOD. He seriously is heaven sent. He knows about what happened and is disgusted that any parent would choose to stay with someone who hurt their child. He has said he wishes not to meet my mom unless I really want him too he will do it once. I really just want to enjoy this moment I've waited my entire life for. I've watched everyone in my family build careers and start families. Now it is my turn to be happy. My mom knows I'm dating this guy and still acts like what happened to me by my step father was no big deal at all. What would you do in this situation. I really don't want to introduce my family to him. It's not him it's my crazy, dysfunctional family. He comes from a very "normal" family, parents still married etc. is there some written rule that I have to introduce him to my family ?

So I've been dating this guy for almost a month now. We talked for a few weeks before our first date. Anyhow he is aware that I'm going through perimenopause and am on HRT which helps but I still have days where I belong in a cave lol. He has given me no reason to think he is not going to stick around but why is my brain telling me I'm going to unintentionally f*** it up?! I don't even like to be around myself right now why would anyone else.

Thank you all for the helpful advice and tips for spending the night with the guy I've been seeing. First time in 20 years I've been with anyone and same for him too which definitely helped. We had a very nice time. We laughed, we cried and decided that as fun as last night was we need to take things slow. We got caught up in the moment for sure and neither of us was prepared for the overflow of emotions it would bring on. We both were crying this morning. He continues to be such an amazing man though and we have decided we need to set boundaries for now about what should and shouldn't happen this early in our relationship. He is so mature and we communicate so well which makes a world of a difference! We both agreed last night was very nice but it's best to keep things more simple as we still get to know each other better. All is well that ends well ☺️🫶🏻

I've been seeing this guy for about a month. We both have been single for a long while, me almost 20 years. We are both in our early 40s, I feel very safe with him and the way we communicate is 10/10. He is so respectful and has not once pressured me to do anything. He has been very intentional since day one getting to know me and with the questions he asks. We have decided to spend the night together this weekend. We have only had day dates so far this will be our first overnight. We have talked at length about physical intimacy and no pressure either way. It's scary and exciting. We have discussed protection to avoid any unplanned pregnancy. Any advice for someone who has not been intimate with anyone in any capacity in almost 20 years. I think if we both are feeling it and it happens naturally then let it happen.

So to make a long story short, I've been seeing my therapist going on 3 years now. We had a minor rupture a few weeks ago that I confronted him about and I think we moved past that. Anyways today I was so excited because I had such good news to share and he turned it around and made it into something it definitely was not. I was super confused how he could turn the conversation around and make it something negative. I never gave him any information that should have been interpreted in the way he did. I honestly felt like he was projecting his own past trauma and his own past negative experiences on to mine. It just seemed so out of place. Talking about what I was talking about was hard for me as it's a very vulnerable thing and now given we have had yet another misunderstanding mere weeks apart it's starting to affect my trust in the work we do together. How can I bring this up to him in a way that doesn't sound accusatory but assertive and ask him to explain to me how he came to those opinions about my situation. Also is it common for a therapist to give unsolicited advice or opinions? I will usually straight up ask him if I want his opinion but lately he has been giving it unsolicited. Thank you .

So I'm curious if it's protocol if a client says they are depressed and I'm talking like bad depression, do you always ask the client if they have any safety concerns for themselves or others? I told my therapist today that I'm really struggling and that I told my primary doctor I will always be honest when asked about safety concerns but almost will never be the one to just volunteer that information unless asked. My therapist after I literally told him that never asked me "so how are you today with any safety concerns?" we are able to see our client progress notes after session they are available in our portal. He put no safety concerns today...he never asked me so how would he know? Just wondering when therapists feel like they need to ask or is it just standard to ask each client at each session no matter what?

My mom took me to my primary care doctor today out of desperation because she can't stand to see me suffer anymore. My primary doctor was so nice and she straight up offered HRT after my mom described the battle I'm fighting and actively losing with my body on the daily. This was the second time I've mentioned perimenopause to my doctor the last time she said no to HRT before menopause but today she really took me and my moms concerns to heart and really took time to better understand the hell I'm dealing with, within my own body. I go back in 2 weeks to check in about how I'm feeling and see if anything needs to be adjusted. Ladies, don't give up, keep advocating for yourself, we know our bodies better than anyone. Document everything so the doctor can see the cyclical changes. Sometimes just telling a doctor isn't enough you need to show evidence for them to better understand. Here's to hopefully better days ahead!

Last week I had a minor rupture with my therapist and I was an anxious mess for my appointment today. He has always made it clear from day one that his office is a safe space and if he ever does anything I don't agree with or find offensive or says something that hurt my feelings to always let him know so we can work through it. Last week I felt something he said was dismissing years of work I've done to be where I am now. I mentioned that to him at the beginning of today's session, asking for more explanation to what he said. He didn't get defensive or upset he apologized for being too blunt perhaps and further explained what he meant by what he said and that it wasn't meant to come off as it did but he could see how I took it that way. He thanked me for being assertive and addressing this so we could work through it together. It gave me the confidence to be able to do this again if necessary. Let this be a positive outcome to a problem I think is common in the therapy space. Therapists are human just like us and will make mistakes but a good therapist will take the time to hear you and correct said mistakes to avoid rupture in the future. Today was a therapy win for sure.

Bless my therapist's heart for being so open to hearing me literally rage every week. He asked me this last session how the symptoms of perimenopause feel vs everyday "normal" anxiety, or depression etc. He said he just wants to better understand but I snapped at him and said he could never understand unless he is living in a body actively going through it! After I calmed down a little bit I said it feels like your body was swapped with an alien and it's no longer yours and you have 0 control over it. I said the rage is all consuming the mood swings are like a rollercoaster and sleep? What's that?! The dark intrusive thoughts are not even mine! It's like a full body betrayal! Is there a better way I could have explained this to him? He is so patient with me and I truly think he just wants to be educated more on this but I'm not sure how to.