u/ginogon

OOP is the largest boob in this photo.

A sappening, some might say

OOP: 100 Dollars for this firewood shitter? I’ll think about it!

Gentlemen,

After extensive, completely unbiased analysis, I can confirm the ideal beginner guitar is the Martin Backfucker Guitar.

Branding… It says MARTIN!!! That’s it! You’re done! You’ve aligned yourself with LEGACY before learning a G chord…. Tone, playability, comfort are ALL secondary. The headstock logo does the heavy lifting, as it should be.

TOAN… The Backfucker delivers a beautifully paper tin (not misspelled), unforgiving, almost philosophical sound. Every mistake is exaggerated with precision. THIS IS GOOD. A beginner must believe they sound WORSE than they actually are. Doubt accelerates growth or at least filters out the weak. Confidence is SHATTERED on the first chord strummed. “Do I sound Bad?”… Yes, you do! Keep practicing noob!

BackFUCKING Ergonomics… The body shape is… intentional. By learning on something that actively resists your anatomy, working against you and your hands…. You develop technique through adversity... Neck dives (as if the guitar wants itself to fall and shatter on the floor), nowhere to place your strumming hand forearm, and the body that rotates forward or back (whichever is inconvenient for you)… Your lumbar vertebrae hurts from bad posture… Pain is gain… All that builds character.

SOUND PROJECTION. None to Minimal…. Perfect. A beginner should NOT be heard because they SUCK… They should practice and reflect. SILENTY.

NO LAMINATE SHIT: Yes, it’s real toanwood. Not layered wood like that on peasant guitars…. No compromise. Genuine, respectable materials…. And yet, the genius is that it still sounds like plywood... This is the brilliance. It proves that tone is not just materials. it’s bad physics, shit design, and your own inadequacy.

The guitar-shaped-object gives you all the excuses so you can’t blame yourself.

This GSO doesn’t just teach you how to play guitar…. It teaches frustration, bad posture, and reminds you that you sound bad.

Thanks for listening to my Ted Talk.

EDIT: Might I add, the satin finished product, is the best one for a noob… It easily stains, and thus teaches the newbies to clean their instruments better.

Show and Tell:

Because, the Lodge US website ordering system does NOT ship out to TW, completion of the sugar skull skillet collection is frustratingly SLOW.

The latest one is the griddle, obtained through Amazon worldwide shipping (Which still doesn’t carry the 12-inch butterfly skillet).

So far, here are my “Wall Pans”, because, “They’re pretty”.

I have spare dragon skillets for cooking. It was cheaper to buy these at Costco (TW not US) than to get the “plain” skillets at the local Lodge sellers.