u/grnlzrd23

I’m a FTM and would love to make some mom friends in the area and go on playdates etc! My son is 2.5m old

32F / WFH full time as a product designer / INFJ / love Bravo, shopping, crafts, going out to eat, antiquing, art, photography (no particular order!)

Gearing up to sleep train my LO who exclusively contact sleeps. Looking to hear positive / success stories with your experience sleep training with the full extinction method at 4m

There is simply TOO much information and opinions floating around on social media and it’s making me dislike parenthood. Wake windows, sleep training/ schedules, daycare, feeding… it feels like no matter what I do, someone online is saying it’s wrong! Tbh I feel like trying to perfectly optimize every little thing is worse for my mental health than anything else at this point

Even Reddit makes it harder because there are a million conflicting opinions and so much judgment baked into everything.

I’m kinda at the point where I just want to tune it all out and trust myself more. As long as baby is happy, fed, loved, and safe, that’s what matters right? Older generations didn’t have nonstop information and “expert” advice hitting them from every direction 24/7, and they still figured it out!!

The recommendation is to put baby in a dark and quiet room for naps. But many parents must put their kids in daycare and in that environment, it’s bright and loud (in the infant room).

So, shouldn’t we be “training” our babies to nap in a bright and loud environment too? Prior to starting daycare

Edit to add: the daycare I’ll be sending my son to doesn’t have a darkened room or dims the lights for naps. It’s bright 24/7. This is apparently a state law. Mainly looking for assurance that baby will sleep there bc I’m stressing about it haha

For those of you with LOs who exclusively contact napped prior to starting daycare, how did the transition to being in a crib at daycare go? Any tips to make it easier? I’m going to attempt to crib train, but it’s proving difficult

Just curious if anyone else has been given the go ahead at 3m? I thought 4m was the earliest

Son is 2m. I never thought I’d say it, but I miss working - the socialization and mental stimulation from it. I feel like I’m in groundhogs day right now during my maternity leave. I love my son but the newborn phase has been incredibly rough and I’m looking forward to regaining some normalcy with work and having that separation. I feel so guilty though, like I shouldn’t be feeling this way about returning to work as a mother

I guess just looking for solidarity and to see if anyone else felt this way?

I’m a FTM and am curious what you all would choose in this situation as I see pros/cons to both.

I will be returning to work when my son is 5 months old. Both my husband and I WFH in tech and have jobs that require full attention.

My mom and my husbands mom have offered to split their time watching our son for the first year in our home while we work. However, I’m wondering if daycare would be better

I feel very lucky that they have offered this but here are the pros/cons of my MIL/mom watching our son:

Pro:
- essentially free, huge bonus
- 1:1 time with son
- less illness

Cons:
- MIL has health issues and aging parents herself. Worried she might not be reliable as much as she intends
- them not being able to do as much with our son physically due to their age. Ie bending on the floor for tummy time, wearing him for naps all day long (at 2m currently our son has reflux and refuses the crib) etc
- having someone in the house all day while my husband and I WFH and it being distracting
- less socialization. Does that matter at this age?

What route would you go for childcare?

I would come to Reddit scouring subs looking for posts like “when does it get easier” and “when does it feel worth it” - I’m here now feeling WAY better and just wanted to express that in case anyone else is looking for positivity here while deep in the trenches

I was not someone who expected to be hit as hard with PPD as much as I was, but boy, did it wreak havoc on me. Seriously, I cried every day, multiple times a day. I almost got on lexapro (even filled the RX) but decided to wait until the 3m mark to see where I was at. My husband and I are doing shifts because our baby has reflux and we have to hold him all night 😭 and a big thing for me was feeling isolated, scared, and lonely since my husband and I are like passing ships in the night

Im not out of the woods yet, but am FINALLY feeling better starting at the beginning of week 8. It’s like a switch flipped. Baby is still hard but I’m learning and understanding him more, feeling like there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Him smiling and really starting to act interested in me and more sentient REALLY helped too

So if you also are feeling hopeless and lonely, please know it does get better with each passing day! If anyone needs someone to talk to, please don’t hesitate to reach out, i am super down to chat and commiserate!!