How do I use Perl on web servers like PHP?
In PHP, you can just create /var/www/index.php and, given a properly configured server with FPM, it will just work. No separate process to manage, no reverse proxying. And since this is such a common setup, the server configuration is damn-near trivial (for debian you basically have to uncomment a few lines from the default nginx config files).
What is the Perl equivalent of this type of web development? I.e. what lets me just write a file that outputs html, drop it somewhere in the filesystem, and it "just work" without having to worry about anything else? Is there any alternative to CGI.pm?
Yes, I know this is hardly the way-you're-supposed-to-do-it in the 21st century, please skip the lecture.