u/heyitskevin1

I'm 22. I've posted here before when I was a teen and homeless because my mom kicked me out for being trans. My mother used to beat me bloody. This woman tortured me. I went without a bed, food, water, a bathroom, clothes, and so much more. I was sent to a troubled teens program. Then I was homeless because those things didn't fix me. I haven't spoken to or seen my mom in like 6 years. Im finishing my final year of college, and im applying to graduate school after working my ass off to get out of homelessness.

My mom was found at 11am today. A wellness check was done on her. Shes a drug addict and seller. Idk how homicide is involved as the detective couldnt tell me much. I need to go look at her body to claim it. My uncle who is also a POS and knew my mom abused me wants to give her a funeral. I also haven't spoken to him in 6 years if not longer. Im the next of kin as I'm her only kid. Im in shock. Im so mad. Ill never get justice. Even if she died in an extremely painful way. It will never make up for what she did to me for years. I dont want her to get a funeral. I dont think she deserves to get seen as a martyr (even though she prolly was killed doing a drug exchange or domestic with her bf). She doesn't deserve to have a casket, when i wasn't even allowed to not piss and shit on myself when I was 13 because I was chained to the floor. I also dont have the money to pay for it. Even if my uncle pays for it, I dont want her to get anything. But im scared of my uncle coming after me and hurting me. I just need advice or help. Idk what to do. I dont know if I can bring myself to see her body. The last time I saw her she literally let her boyfriend beat me with a pool ball, beat me when i was on the phone with the cops, kicked me out as she told me she was going to kill me. She has harassed me, opening credit cards in my name, committing social security fraud getting me kicked off my state insurance while I have just tried to get my life together because I dont want to be a druggie felon. Im sorry for my grammar im just streaming my thoughts. I dont know what to do. I dont want her to have a loving funeral (even though nobody loved her and my uncle was only around to buy suboxone off of her).

I got told I would be investigated. I live 2 hours away from her and have never been back at her place or near her. I was at my boyfriend's place as well all morning before I went to work. Then I found out at like 10pm she was dead. I work nightshift at a hospital but they let me drive home because I needed to speak to the detective. Idk if i need to like speak to a lawyer, or what I need to do. Im also scared if I decide to donate her body or something that my uncle may come after me legally. Idk what im asking but if anyone has anything or been in a similar situation id love to know. Also do I tell my college about this? Or professors?

I would say we need new subs but just like with the ftmmen sub everything just goes away from binary men. I'm just going to leave the subs but I'm allow to rant. Why are your pursing phallo when you want to deliver a kid vaginally? Why are you dead set on keeping your 'clit' and hole so you can 'enjoy sex' implying post op men can't? Why can't there be one place, ONE PLACE, for binary men? I want a community to discuss surgeries struggles I have. I don't have support irl, I've done all this myself. But I can't help but feel mocked by people who see these operations as body mods rather than life saving surgeries. Yea, it WILL be hard to find a surgeon who does phallo, doesnt do UL, will let you keep your clit, will not do a vaginectomy, will also somehow do a scrotumplasty + ball implants.... like, what? I don't care if these people want surgery to do whatever they want. But why are they always in binary trans men subs. Why can't we have just 1, genuinely just 1, sub for just binary men? Do they understand the struggle of not passing when they want all ive listed above? Do they understand what dysphoria truly is, as someone who was homeless from 14 because of being a trans man, losing literally everything family and all, just because of the way you were born? Maybe they also were just born this way, which i can sympathize with, but you cannot want everything i listed above, wanted to give birth or keeping the clit, and relate to me. Im sorry its true.

Edit: also this isnt about pregnancy BEFORE phallo, this is pregnancy post after phallo. Like wut.

Im thinking about it gen/

Not to be cringe, im drunk and dont wanna get automodded.

My brother did after realizing he could never pass as a man. I feel like even through my attempts ill never be in the same level as cis man. Im a cringe america troon. Ive gotten top, hysto, and bottom. But I got meta. Ive only recently realized ive been poon dosed by my PCP. I have a small dick. My ex cheated on me with my only friend who was an Asian woman. I only met him after I got a vnectomy and meta. My previous ex broke up with me because he 'needed' a hole. I just wanna die. Im trying to go to medical school but with the BBB I cant afford it in america. I got kicked out at 14 after going through conversion therapy and I thought I was making something of myself but after hit, hit,hit, I feel like i just wasn't meant fir this world. Ive been by myself since 14 and im turning 22 this September. Ik people will call me luckshit and youngshit, but I had wide hips since 12 bro. Im shaped like a fucking pear and I started hrt DIY at 17. I just am at my lowest. I want someone to fuck me and tell me they love me lowkey. I want to be seen as the man I am.

Ive been in japan for 3 weeks. I have been seeing this dude breifly for about 2 months ironically back in my toen who normally isn't my type, but after getting bottom surgery and leaving a very toxic relationship I wanted to have some fun and start experience sex how I should've been from the start. I also wanted to surround myself in more 'masculine' hobbies because im a big poker fan and I met a cowboy type dude that wasn't a dl conservative or a chaser (from what I thought).

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We hit it off well, but I wasnt looking for a serious relationship (which i made clear from the start) and he said the same. Well after about a month of talking he kept hinting at wanting to date, kept talking about making things official,etc. I was hesitant, but he seemed like an ok guy so I was willing to give it a try. We'd hang out all the time, play poker, sing karaoke at the bar, it was a fun time. But then the cracks started to show. He drinks everyday. He does hardcore drugs. He sells drugs. He told me how he wants to get clean and start a new life. I believed him.

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I got close with his friends, he was planning on coming down to japan to see me, and he threw me a bug party when I left. We talked and called everyday up until he star¹ted not reslly responding like he would. He'd still tell me goodmorning beautiful, and how much he misses me. It gave me a bad feeling. But then his friend calls me drunk telling me that his cis woman ex has been at his place all week. I text him to ask about it, and he doesnt respond at all. Or even open it. He knew he was caught. He tells people he broke up with me, and he tells me he planned on talking about it when I got back from japan because when I left he lost feelings for me. And that he's sorry, he has nothing to say, and he hopes I find someone that deserves me.

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He has some of my stuff and he wont give it to our mutakl friend back home that told me about his cheating.

If he wanted to break up why wont he give my stuff to them yk?

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While I was writing this i was about to visit my friend in japan who just graduated and moved back. She just told me she was also sleeping with him. I just hopped on the train to head home. This shit is so stupid.

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This dude was the first dude I was actually like sexually active with after getting surgery. Im so grossed out. Im glad I found out now rather than later, but damn im more upset by how bothered I feel about it. Plus it doesnt help like his ex he is seeing now is a woman, my friend is a woman. Like wtf. Idk i just dont have anyone to talk to about this. I thought i had my friend but she was sleeping with him too!

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I am finishing college. I needed a psychology class to get a pre-req for medical school, and the only class offered that was available for me to take was human sexuality. It was genuinely an interesting class and I overall enjoyed the content of the class. However, the people in the class ughhhhhh.

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A lot of trenders. Mainly cis women. There was like one other guy in the class, however he fell into the mean gay guy thay is like am accessory to straight women. Anyway. The class would break up into like 3 big groups to discuss readings we did that week. It was a battle to get through some discussions because misandry was rampant:

'Guys can't be raped by women', 'guys can control when they orgasm where women cant' 'all men are inherently dangerous' etc.

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Meanwhile there are 'trans guys' in the group who none have done anything beyond changing the name thye are called in class nodding along. Id push back sharing my own experience with women trying to force themselves on me (lesbians to be more specific thay fetishize trans men because they want butches but I kept that out) and everything i said was passed over/dismissed because women have it worse. Whatever, its a college class, it aint that deep.

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I brought up some point about the trend dead woman freezer thing in media where like characters that are women in a lot of media are only foil to support boyish immature male leads and how it sucks to have such little media of lead female characters, because even when they are lead characters they are overshadowed by male side characters or villains that always turns into like 'soft women bringing men to the bright side' or like in supergirls TV show it always pointed out how she can do everything superman can, EVEN though she is a woman. The response? I was talking over women because a man cannot connect with female leads like women can?

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That shocked me, but then the next week we were discussing another topic and I was talking about as a gay man the expectation that being a bottom is tied to being feminine and how drugs like PreP are advertised making it seem like straight couples also shouldn't be aware of stds and such. My grandpa was straighter than a nail and died of AIDS from sharing needles lol. I was told by a (cis woman) self identifying transmasc he/they lesbian that actually gay men dont struggle in life, and that forcing masculinity into the LGBT perpetuates racism against black people. This person went on a whole like 12 minute rant directed just at me and ended with 'You really need to check your cis white man privillege'. I never brought up race lol. I just looked at her and was like 'ok' and continued on about like prep commercials. Inside though, I was belly laughing lmaooooo.

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Thats probably the best thing she could've said to me. I know if she knew i was a trans man I'd just get platitudes and seen as a masculine woman, even though I look like part of the aryan brotherhood at this point with my head shaved.

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So v for victory right? Lmao.

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Moral of the story never judge a book by its cover, what's the saying? Assumptions make asses of us all? Because my family shockingly isn't white, im just the palest/whitest of us all.

Hi! Me and my buddy are two strength builds trying to fight midir. We are at the bonfire at the shortcut. The password is Tizzy

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Please help us!

Im so done bro genuinely.

Question for the guys here: how worried do I need to be if I cant take my testosterone for 2 months?

I am leaving the country to go to Japan this Saturday. I have known about this for months and havw been planning to make sure everything would go smooth. 4 months out me and my doctor decide the best choice would be for me to get a T pellet put in to last me my 2 months in Japan, because I'm on injections and im already worried about my passport looking nothing like me when going through TSA. I also knew I could fill out this form to try to bring my T but I tried scheduling a meeting multiple times to get help reading the form to make sure I fill it out right (e.g. it wants mt address in japan but im staying on student housing at a graduate school which I do not know the address of yet).

So my doctor gives me the referral to another doctor who does the T pellets. I reach out every few days trying to speak with someone and i finally get a response back a month before i leave saying i need to get a blood draw to check my levels. Well my T was too high when i did so they told me to stop it for 2 weeks then vet my blood done again and they can schedule me for the pellet. We are now 2 weeks away from me leaving. I call right when they open to try to get scheduled. They cant schedule me because I need a PA to go through. Ive called every day to check on this PA and I have no idea if its gone through or not because nobody FUCKING ANSWERS THE PHONE OR CALLS ME BACK.

Now its probably too late for anything and I just wanna flip the fuck out. How fucked am I with full hysto to go without T for 2 months. I figure ill be fine since thats what I had to do for bottom surgery basically but in both a rant and a last ditch effort to see if I can figure something out I turn to here. If there are any hoosiers here dont go to Dr. Helen Bernie at IU. Literally one of the most worthless bitches.