u/idk12295

I’m 24 and a full time caregiver for my mum after she had a stroke almost 2 years ago. I never got the choice to be her caregiver it kind of just fell onto me and became my responsibility.
Lately I’ve found myself getting so frustrated with her, with the situation and with my life.
I know it’s not her fault and that it’s because of the stroke but I get so irritated at how she acts and talks sometimes and I feel so guilty for feeling like that. She asks silly questions and I have to repeat myself all the time. It’s like every time I’m already feeling irritable is when she does these things.
I hate being a caregiver and I don’t want to do it but there’s not many other suitable options and I can’t bring myself to leave and arrange other things because it would upset her so much and I couldn’t deal with that guilt.
She used to be my best friend, I used to talk to her about anything and everything, we used to laugh together, we used to do everything together. Now I don’t even want to spend time with her and I don’t enjoy talking to her anymore which makes me feel so horrible and guilty.
I’m grateful that I still have her here and I can talk to her but at the same time I’m feeling so much frustration and guilt about everything. It’s like I can’t get used to this being the new normal now. I feel guilty saying it but I miss how things used to be, I miss how my mum used to be, I miss my best friend

It’s been almost 2 years since my mum had her stroke yet I’m still struggling with the fact that she’s not the same as she was before she had the stroke.
I feel immense guilt for the feelings of frustration I get when I’m trying to talk to her and she’s either not listening or just stops listening halfway through the conversation. I know she can’t help it and it’s because of the stroke which is why I feel so guilty.
I find myself getting irritated at the way she talks and the things she says now.
How do I accept that this is the new her and that it’s going to be like this forever now?
I feel guilty for missing the old her and missing how we used to be able to talk and laugh about anything.
I’m grateful that she’s still here and that I can talk to her still but I can’t help missing how it used to be.
I don’t want to keep feeling like this but I’m really struggling still to adjust to this new normal

I’m extremely aware that I keep saying ‘I don’t know’ to questions that my therapist asks me like how I’m feeling or what something makes me think. I don’t want to deliberately withhold anything and I want to be able to be open and talk and fix my issues but I can’t seem to stop saying I don’t know.
Sometimes I literally don’t know what I’m thinking or feeling. Other times I’m not sure what I’m expected to be thinking or feeling so I’m cautious to say how I’m actually feeling. Other times I’m worried that what I’m thinking or feeling isn’t the answer my therapist is looking for so I’m worried my answer will be ‘wrong’ and I’m scared of being judged for it.
I’m worried that my therapist thinks I’m deliberately not telling him how I’m feeling or what I’m thinking which I’m not.
I tried to stop and think about what to say when I felt like I wanted to say I don’t know but I just couldn’t come up with anything sometimes.
How can I make my therapist understand that I’m not deliberately not talking to him and how can I stop saying I don’t know all the time?

I’m 24 and a caregiver for my mum after she had a stroke. I’ve been full time caring for her for about 18 months now and I don’t want to do it anymore, I can’t do it. It’s ruining my life and destroying my mental health. We have help from a caring company and a family member so I’m not doing this on my own and I get a few hours a week where I can go out and do things but I don’t want to do this at all anymore.
I want my own life, I want a job, to move out and have free will to do what I want without having to work around everyone else’s needs and accommodate to them.
This is probably selfish of me but my absolute hatred for being a caregiver is affecting my ability to be the best caregiver I can be. I’m doing all the necessary things and my mum is in no way neglected or anything but I’m not doing the non urgent things.
I don’t even want to spend time with my mum anymore and I just hate everything about this.
The only reason I’m still here doing this is because the guilt of telling my mum I don’t want to care for her anymore would kill me. I don’t want to upset her at all. I feel selfish and guilty for not wanting to do this anymore but I feel less like a daughter and more like just a carer. I hate how this is affecting mine and my mums relationship.
Any advice or anything on how to start approaching the topic of me no longer being her carer is welcome. How can I explain it to her without making her upset or making her feel like I don’t care or anything like that

I absolutely hate who I am. I’m so sick of myself. I’m so lonely but I can’t bring myself to have a conversation to make any friends. I want a relationship but I can’t bring myself to talk to anyone, I downloaded tinder to try practice but I’m too anxious and awkward to reply to anyone because I just don’t know what to say.
I don’t know how to hold a conversation, I feel so awkward when anyone tries to talk to me. I even feel like this with my own family members. One of my cousins tried to talk to me at the weekend at a family gathering and it was so awkward I just wanted to disappear. I didn’t know what to say to her and I just felt so stupid. I spent the whole gathering following my sibling around and avoiding eye contact so that no one would talk to me. Everywhere I go I feel so out of place and like everyone is looking at me. I feel embarrassed doing normal things that other people do. I feel so self conscious all the time whenever I go anywhere.
I want friends and I want a relationship but it just feels like it’ll never happen because I’m so awkward and anxious that I can’t have a conversation. Small talk scares me so much and that’s the first steps to a conversation which terrifies me.
I feel so useless and stupid. I don’t want to be like this anymore but I don’t know what to do

I absolutely hate my life because I don’t have one. I haven’t even been able to start living my own life yet and I’m 24 with no end to this in sight. I’m a caregiver for my mum. Compared to other caregivers I don’t have to do that much, we get help from carers that come in 3 times a day and I can get some time to myself a few times a week where I can go out and do things. Yet I still absolutely hate this. I’m sick of cleaning up poop and emptying catheters. I’m sick of hearing my own name.
I want to move out and get a job but I can’t because my mum can’t be left alone for that long and we can’t get full time caregivers for a few reasons so that can’t happen.
I’ve never had a job, never had a relationship, never moved out and I don’t have any friends. I can’t keep a social life when all I am is a caregiver, I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore.
I don’t want to do this anymore, I hate it. My mum and people know I’ve given up my whole life to be a caregiver yet no one seems to care that it’s ruining my life. I’m missing out on the crucial years of my life and this is going to make my life in the future even harder. I don’t want to do this anymore but I don’t see a way out. I find myself wishing I could get ill or injured just so that I can get a break without feeling guilty because it wouldn’t have been my choice. It’s not fair of me to feel like this when people have it so much worse. I should be grateful for the help I get and that I can have time to myself and I am grateful but I still hate it. I don’t want to do this at all, not any part of it

I’m so tired of being a caregiver but I can’t bring myself to leave because the guilt would kill me. I’m 24 and a caregiver for my mum who’s bed ridden after a stroke. She’s cognitively mostly the same as before the stroke but she needs help with pretty much everything physically.
I know that it’s selfish of me but I don’t want to do this anymore, I want my own life. I’ve never had a job, a relationship, I’ve never moved out and I don’t have any friends.
I feel stuck between my head and my heart. My head wants to leave and get out of this situation and live how I want to live but my heart can’t bear leaving and the guilt that would come along with it. My mum doesn’t want to be in a residential home and I can’t get anyone to come in and care for her 24/7. I feel like I would be abandoning her if I left and I can’t do that. I can’t bear upsetting her or making her sad by leaving
It’s not even the physical aspect of being a caregiver that I’m tired of it’s the mental aspect and the fact that I don’t have a life and I can’t live my life how I want to. I feel stuck because no one’s forcing me to do this but I can’t bring myself to do the thing that wouldn’t benefit me, which is leaving and not being her caregiver anymore. I feel like I can’t leave even though at the end of the day it is my choice

I’m 24 and a carer for my mum who’s bed ridden after a stroke. It kind of just happened that I became her caregiver because I didn’t have a job when the stroke happened so I was the available one to take up this role.
I long to have my own life. I’ve never had a job, never had a relationship, I don’t have any friends and I’ve never moved out. I want to do these things, moving out and getting a job most of all but I can’t because of having to be my mums caregiver. I don’t have to do that much physically but I have to be around and available all the time incase she needs something.
I get so frustrated and irritated because I’m stuck living at home doing something I don’t want to be doing. I’m sad and I feel like I’m missing out on the crucial years of my life where I’m meant to figure out who I am, make friends and live my own life but I can’t.
I feel guilty for feeling like this because it’s not my mums fault that she had a stroke and that now I have to care for her.
I desperately want to leave and live my own life now. I feel so stuck. I can’t put my mum in a residential home because she doesn’t want it and I can’t do that to her. I can’t get people to come in full time to care for her so that I can leave. It feels like there’s nothing I can do. I try to be happy with what I have but there’s always the feelings of disappointment and sadness that I’m not living like I want to be

I’m so tired and fed up and I’m getting so frustrated at my mum. It’s not fair on her, she never asked to have a stroke so I shouldn’t get frustrated but I can’t seem to stop. I don’t want to her caregiver anymore but there’s no one else to do it so I don’t have a choice and no other options are suitable.
I think I’m struggling with the fact that she’s not the same person she used to be. I used to do everything with her and talk to her about everything and anything but now I can’t even bear to have a conversation with her and she’s bed ridden so we can’t do anything together anymore.
I’m tired of repeating myself or starting a conversation and she hears 2 words and then stops listening. I don’t want to sit with her or hang out with her because I just feel uncomfortable and on edge. I try to talk to her like I used to but I just can’t. She’ll latch onto one pointless thing I say and then not hear or care about what I’m actually trying to talk about so I just give up trying to talk with her.
I’m just wondering how to cope with these feelings of frustration because I feel really guilty for feeling like this and I don’t want to get frustrated at my mum

I usually use Samaritans online chat but it’s not been available the past few times I’ve needed it. Does anyone know any others? I can’t get privacy to call anyone. I don’t want to message shout because I’ve seen way too many stories of people saying that they’ve had police or ambulances called by them.

Wondering what the difference in treatment is between step 3 and step 4 in mental health treatment/ talking therapies

I’m really struggling with serious lack of motivation. I don’t want to do anything at all. I don’t want to do the things I need to be doing and I don’t want to do the things I usually enjoy doing. I only shower and do laundry when I’m leaving the house which is only every few weeks. I eat basic meals because I don’t want to cook anything or prepare anything. Every single thing feels like a chore, even the things I should enjoy. All I want to do is lie in bed, sleep when I’m able to and just scroll on my phone mindlessly. I can’t even bring myself to do the things I know will make me feel better. I feel disgusting not showering but I don’t care enough to do anything about it. My teeth feel gross from not brushing them but I just don’t care and can’t bring myself to brush them. I don’t want to do anything and I can’t make myself do anything, why?

I feel like I have no personality, I have no hobbies or interests. My therapist asked me this week what are my interests and I just cried and said I don’t have any because i don’t. I feel like such a loser. I want friends and stuff but I feel like it’s never going to happen because I have nothing to bring to a friendship let alone just a conversation. I have nothing to say because I don’t do anything, don’t go anywhere and don’t have any interests.
I can’t talk to people because I’m horrendously anxious and also because I have nothing to relate to anyone about. I feel like all I am is mentally ill. I can talk about that but no one wants to listen to someone who’s negative all the time.
When people ask about favourite things, I don’t have a clue what to say because I feel like I don’t like anything. People ask about hobbies and what I do in my spare time I have nothing to say because all I do is lie in bed scrolling on tiktok. I hate this and I hate myself

Wondering when it’s the right time to get inpatient treatment. I’m struggling and have suicidal ideation but no intent to end my life. Suffering with self harm but it’s not life threatening or anything. I’m struggling to do my personal care like showering and brushing my teeth. I have no motivation for anything at all and I’ve stopped doing all things that I usually enjoy. I’m still eating and taking my medication though. At what stage is inpatient treatment the best option?

Wondering when it’s the right time to get inpatient treatment. I’m struggling and have suicidal ideation but no plans or intent to end my life. Suffering with self harm but not life threatening or anything. I’m struggling to do my personal care like showering and brushing my teeth. I have no motivation for anything at all and I’ve stopped doing all things that I usually enjoy. I’m still eating and taking my medication though. At what stage is inpatient treatment the best option?

Currently on step 3 therapy doing CBT but there’s been mention of moving me up to step 4. What can I expect from this? What’s the difference between them?

I got given the advice to contact shout but I’m scared that they’re either going to call the police if I talk to them or that it’s going to be a complete waste of time because the service isn’t very helpful. I’ve read multiple times that they’ve sent police to check on people without any warning and I cannot have that happen. I got advised to message them when I’m having thoughts of self harm but I’m worried that is going to be a sure fire way to make them call the police on me.