u/ilrk17

I know it sounds obvious and whatnot but when my friend said this to me he didn't mean it in an offensive way but I could tell by his tone he wasn't joking, he proceeds to say some stuff about how I have no 'presence' or 'aura' and how sometimes him and my friend group don't even realise I'm there at school or sometimes when I'm walking with them and how I just spawn in, and I don't do this intentionally I will just be near people/my friends and they act as if I literally don't exist,not in an ill intent way but more so they don't realise I'm actually there, like today I had a trip for geography and I was lining up and these girls wanted to go Infront of me and my friends in line and they were talking to my friends, (except me) and asked joked around and got their names wrong on purpose and said they looked like a certain character or person,after getting their names (except mine) they went Infront of us,which is crazy because prior to that they were standing pretty close to me and literally I witnessed it first hand they didn't even realise/acknowledge the fact I was standing right there and they unintentionally barged me a little as I was at the front of our group in line, and they didn't care/realise they did it.Im not saying they did this on purpose but it's genuinely crazy seeing a whole interaction between people occur and you are right there no more than 30cm away from these people and they treat your presence as non existent.Is it a confidence/looks thing or.....

There are so many underrated ones

There are so many but and gege really gets in his bag during the culling games

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1.hakari Vs kashimo

2.yuki and choso Vs kenjaku

3.yuji Vs choso

I know the caption sounds like I committed an atrocity it's just that I'm really trying to wrap my head around this (sorry if its long)

So this was around the end of 2024-start of 2025 when it initially happened and I've been dealing with the backlash since December 2025, for as long as I remember I have not been good with speaking to girls,I was the majority of the time the butt of the joke in my younger years and I never really cared about girls until I became a teenager, and essentially I started talking to a girl and the usual talking stage things occur and we end up getting into a relationship,now things had been going good up to this point and I was pretty content,until a few weeks after I started to get out of the 'honeymoon' phase and we started to get in arguments and she was pretty toxic and unnecessarily pretentious and belittling me for anything I did so started to be a asshole to my gf for petty revenge (of you can even call it that)and I was being pretty annoying and rude for the time being, mostly due to mood swings as some days I was begging for forgiveness and swearing that I'll improve and other days id be pretty condescending and dry, this didn't last long and we eventually broke up and as a prideful teen I acted like I didn't care and that I was better off alone,even when they tried to interact/talk to me I'd still be an asshole and even in public when other people were around I'd not want to associate with them and be extremely blunt.

Fast forward to December of 2025 I'm out with my friend and I hear from his gf that I was supposedly trying to get back with them and being all clingy and basically making me look desperate,and they went so far as to make fake texts mimicking my old account so they allegedly frame me,and of course my ex had to be the 'mature' one and say "I'm not ready for this" and I supposedly said "don't worry baby I'll wait forever for you" this was so obviously fake and biased as I am not that type of person yet people ate those rumours and fake messages up.I was a little annoyed at first but considering it didn't really affect me I didn't care,then it gradually got worse, more rumours,more fake messages,girls being rude to me for no reason and stop talking to me/excluding me whenever I was in a group of people, and overall just treating me pretty poorly and acting as if I'm the worst human being of all time,and this is the majority of every girl on my year who is aware of this and thinks I'm a toxic, obsessive narcissist.

And the thing is I don't even know how to defend myself or if it's even worth it,like girls will have a fit just because I'm sat next to them in the seating plan or whenever a girl/group of girls is talking to mt friend group they'll purposely exclude and skip over me,and the worse thing is even my own friends don't believe me, I saw the fake messages and there so obviously fake yet the people that know me best are actually siding with my very obviously butt hurt ex,and now that I look back I do accept that I was in the wrong for a lot of the time and the funny thing is she tried to get back with me after we broke up,to where I did apologise for my actions and I made it clear that I wasn't interested but I don't understand how me apologising and taking accountability leads you to hate me even more?????

I know it sounds pretty stupid and should be a straightforward answer but I've been thinking about it way harder than i should be as I'm a pretty lonely person myself and I wanted to see other views/perspectives on being alone.

I don't know why whenever I am speaking to groups of people or just a regular conversation with people I'm not close/acquainted with I freeze up and I just sound like a weirdo and I tend to immediately put up this 'visage' to try to fit in with what everyone else thinks or agrees on instead of actually speaking my mind or being my own self, I've tried to get over this by either being constantly by myself or resorting to unfunny and immature humour which makes me cringe inside,it's like I can't think of anything to speak about when conversations change and when the spotlight is on me I get all awkward and anxious,and you already know whenever I'm trying to sleep my brain plays those embarrassing moments repeatedly.