u/ilysmitskindagross

i just nearly got into what could've been two fatal accidents that i had to hard slam the brakes on, because people are just doing left turns without seeing if theres oncoming traffic and not yielding whatsoever in roundabouts. i know its raining but genuinely whats going on guys???

i physically can't do it. i will do everything but sit with the shame. i will do dumb shit, regret it, relieve myself of the guilt by drinking again annnnd the cycle repeats. should i just lock up my phone so i don't call anyone or stay inside in my room forever

can anyone please share some of their secret tips on this? i work as a pca so i have to do some lifting here and there with my patients but i’ve recently relapsed on my ed. but last time i was in the deep of it, i was a high schooler with no responsibilities sitting in my bedroom 😭 so i wasn’t really focused on it effecting my quality of life.

stupid boy, don't you know that it hurts so bad to remember how you knew me

deeper than deeply

to the point that it was infuriating!

you were the boy i loved

and now you're just the thing that haunts me.

you are my worst regret

so why can't i forget

you?

he's waiting by the foot of the bed

ready to claim what's always going to be yours.

"let me take away your pain" he says

i ask how

so he hands me a shovel to bury the memory of you

and i dig not one grave but two.

because loving you is in my anatomy now

and i'm so disgusted with how unforgivingly i still desire you

My worst enemy is my 17 year old self

and I don’t like the way my own voice sounds

or hearing my native name on the lips of anyone that isn’t my mother

I’m a mental hazard

and my teeth have been yellow since I could remember

Here are a list of reasons not to kiss me:

I’ll cry each time you let go of my hand

and I won’t know how to miss you and function at the same time.

I’m impossible to love

but if you ever leave me, I’d turn you into some powerful poetry.

You are beautiful

and i’m afraid of beauty.

You are illuminating

but I’ve been carrying shadows since childhood.

here’s one reason to never get into bed with me:

I wouldn’t know when to stop talking to you.

So tell me

are you sick of me yet?

I went back to him on the first of every month like tradition

as if forgiving him for not loving me was an addiction

some mistaken love ritual.

I brought myself to his feet like a dirty doormat

and let him leave me on the highway, crying

Reader, you know me

i love to love

and regret it until it burns something.

but now you get to know him too

with the words I make his legacy

the version of him I immortalize with poetry.

he was awful

and for that I will make the best muse out of him