u/imKranely

So I'm arguably new to fighting games in the sense that I've just recently started taking them seriously. I've played casually in the past, but never really dug too deep into learning neutral, combos, fundamentals, etc. And now that I'm learning how fighting games want to be played beyond me just mashing, I don't know how to find a character that really clicks.

Before I would just pick the grappler because they did the most damage, and they were usually giant dudes and that was kinda cool. But now that I'm understanding their role in fighters, I don't think they click with me the way they did when I played more casually.

I wanted to pick your brains and find out what methods you went about to find your main and maybe find some inspiration on how I could go about finding mine. Feel free to share your experience even if it's as simple as "LOL Sol Badguy cool." All reasons are valid imho!

So I just recently got a nice arcade stick and I'm really enjoying it. I plan on attending CEO here soon, but I don't want to carry my stick the entire time. So I'm in need of a bag. Figured I'd ask around here if anyone knows of any good recommendation. I'd love something that could carry a laptop as well as the arcade stick.

I know this is kind of random, but I figured maybe someone else has already done the leg work and could save me the time shopping around too much.

PS: My arcade stick is the Nacon Daija if that helps understand the size.

It's right on the label. My mindset is holding me back, and I'm not sure how to change it. I'm aware of it, I know it's bad for growth, but I can't help but let me ego get in the way of improvement.

I've casually played fighting games for quite some time, picking up terminology and info as I went. But recently I've got this fire under me that makes me want to "git gud." I've always been a competitive person ever since I was a kid, but I've also always had a big ego (against my better judgement). I get frustrated when I lose, and I don't properly respect my opponent when they win by attributing my loss to my own shortcomings as opposed to their skill over my own.

I should be thankful that I am currently roommates with someone who is very good at fighting games, as well as my neighbor who comes over every once and a while. My roommate got two characters to rank 1 in SF4 back in the day and still holds his own against everyone he plays, and my neighbor placed top 8 at CEO a few years back in MK11. I get to learn from two people who know what they are doing and have years and years of knowledge and experience to share. But I keep letting my ego get in the way. I can't just accept the loss and learn from it. I just get down on myself and think I can't do it.

So I need guidance. This isn't something either of my friends mentioned have dealt with in their journeys, so they don't have much to share. But maybe someone out there was similar to me at one point and found a way to overcome it. I don't want to have this ego, but as the old saying goes "You can control how you act, but you can't control how you feel."

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I hope I don't come across as too negative, because I'm really not in most cases. I'm just really hard on myself. Hopefully that can change.

I'm in the market for a stick. I was considering just getting a different controller since the dpad on the one I already own isn't good for fighters, but I figure hell, if I'm going to buy something specifically just for fighters, might as well get something cool. I'm a single dude with roommates, so I can afford it. And if I don't like it, I can always sell it to get some of my investment back.

The real question I am struggling with is whether I want an arcade stick or to go leverless. Leverless sounds like the way to go for input speed, but I've heard some good arguments for stick in regards to Tekken.

As far as what I am looking for personally, I'm not too picky I'd hope. I'd like it to be less than $200 (USD) if possible, but I'd be willing to go for $250 if the thing is perfect. I want to be able to customize it and make it my own. So something I can add custom art to without too much hassle would be a big selling point for me. I'm also a giant (6'5" / 198cm) so a larger stick would probably be more comfortable on my lap. I'm not too concerned with it being too heavy.

Any and all help is greatly appreciated. Feel free to show off your own sticks as well. Might help me get inspired for what I might want.

So I am working on some videos I want to put out into the ether and see if I find an audience for it, but I'm worried that it might not get much exposure/discoverability due to the content of the videos.

In short, I plan to do a sort of documentary style approach on cringe content. Weird people, things, or events that have taken place over the past 20+ years since the birth of the internet. A cringe retrospective if you will.

There are a few channels I personally follow that make similar content, but due to their size, I doubt I can easily reach out to them to ask advice on how they get views. I might try anyways, but I figured I'd start here.

My fear isn't that I will be demonetized and make no money. That's not really important to me. What's important is that I find an audience and actually have reach on my videos. If I ever wanted to monetize, I'd wait until I had said audience and look into something like Patreon. That just makes more sense to me than relying on YT to not hate the subject matter of my somewhat edgy videos.

I'd love some insight or even some resources I can use to educate myself on how to put out content with a bit of an edgier tone and still get seen in the algorithm. My assumption is that YT doesn't want to promote demonetized content since it makes them less money, but I could be mistaken. Plenty of 1 million + tubers out there making edgy enough content that I would assume there is a method to getting seen, but I'm starting at square zero in terms of my knowledge on this subject.

I will be up front, I have a lot to share, and I think context is important and can give some perspective on where I am and the kind of advice I need. The TLDR is that I grew up with severe depression and anxiety, later developed PTSD, and it held my life back until I got proper health, and now I feel like a 33 year old teen.

--- Childhood ---

I grew up very poor, and not so much because my parents didn't make good money, but due to a lot of bad decisions my parents made in their 20's and 30's while raising me and my sister. I didn't have many nice things, and I was lucky enough to have video games, bikes, and skateboards growing up to keep myself entertained. But I knew what hunger was as a kid, I knew all too well the feeling of being left out of school activities because I couldn't afford the field trips or outfits to go to events. But the worst part is I didn't go to doctors, dentists, and I definitely didn't go to therapists and psychologists.

My depression developed at the age of 12 when I hit puberty. I immediately started dealing with body dysmorphic disorder, and I quickly began to disassociate from reality. At the age of 14 I began drinking alcohol, and by 16 I was smoking weed. I wasn't taking care of my body either. I would refuse to brush my teeth and I didn't have a sense for a proper diet at all.

I dropped out of school in 9th grade and got my GED at a night school because I thought it was a fast track to getting a job and becoming independent. I didn't get a job until I was 18 however.

Due to my body dysmorphia, I didn't get into any relationships, and I was very awkward around anyone I found even slightly attractive or interesting, assuming they were judging me. I had only a handful of friends growing up, and some of the groups I spent time with would just make fun of me and abuse me physically, but I stayed around because they were popular in my neighborhood and I wanted to have friends.

My parents began filing for divorce when I was 13. I didn't get to see my dad much as it was because he was an over the road truck driver and would be gone upwards of 5 weeks at a time, and usually only came home for 3-5 days. After the split my dad would move from place to place never finding a home of his own. He owned the house I grew up in, but let my mom live there since she was raising us kids. My mom went through a mid life crisis (quarter life?) in her mid 30s and became experimenting with drugs and couldn't find a decent man to replace my dad. They did end up getting back together, and have remained together since I was 18. But the damage of their splitting up did a lot of damage to me in my most developing age.

--- 18-30 ---

At 18 I got my first job working for Walmart. I didn't love the job, but I didn't exactly hate it either. It paid minimum wage, and I got over 20 hours a week, so it was nice having an income for the first time. I eventually had a falling out with my boss and I walked out. This became a pattern. Any time I would have a stressful situation or argument at a job, I would walk out that day. I didn't think of it much more than me just having a bad work ethic.

Unable to keep a job, and still living at home with my parents, they started to worry about my ability to help with bills, and eventually be on my own. So it caused a lot of friction in our relationship. At 20 my dad said I either needed to get a job and keep it, or go to college. I chose to go to college. Luckily I was able to get a lot of assistance and go to college for free, even having some left over money by buying my books used.

College was amazing. So much better than school had been my whole life. I felt properly challenged by the material I was studying, and the professors were very invested and engaged. I began making many friends, and even started going to parties. By this point I didn't drink or smoke as much as I did as a teen, but I did so socially at least, and I don't regret that since it was fun and I was young and safe.

I started developing feelings for one of my closest friends in college and we began to hang out a lot more. I even learned to cook because I wanted to be a good host when she came over. I later found out she was sleeping with another friend, and I realized she didn't see me the same way. I fell into a deep depression and started going to more parties and drinking more.

I eventually had a mental breakdown and dropped out of college not knowing what I was going to do when I finished my semester and needed to pick a major (I was getting my associates at the time). It went down hill from here.

I still couldn't keep a job longer than 5-6 months, and I really was unhappy. I got a surge of motivation and wanted to do something better with my life so I asked my dad if there were any job openings at the company he was driving for at the time. Luckily enough they just opened a spot for a data entry spot. I applied and got the job. I loved it.

A month after getting the job I was in a car accident that totaled my brand new car and left me seeing a chiropractor for 8 months to work on my spine. I fell into another depression. I was numb to the world at this point. I didn't want to live.

I couldn't find another job after that, especially with my bad back limiting my ability to do anything too physical. So I started doing Uber with the car I bought used for cheap. I hated it. I began having panic attacks daily, and I wasn't sleeping properly. I began considering suicide seriously and even made a plan at one point. The day I planned to do it, it must have been obvious, because my whole family came into my room and tried to surprise me with a trip to an amusement park. I wouldn't get out of bed and was unresponsive. This destroyed my mother and hearing her panicked and crying like that woke me out of my 6 month depression and I decided it was time to find mental help.

I called the hotline and found a center about 30 minutes away and started seeing a therapist and a psychologist. It took about 2 years of consistency with both to get to a point where I felt somewhat normal again and was able to get a real job again. I still have that job today.

--- Currently ---

I work a decent enough job and have gotten to a point where I rarely have panic attacks. I even saved up money and moved out and now live with a couple of friends. I own my own car and I'm currently looking into getting some health insurance so I can fix my teeth. I'm also losing weight and trying my best to get past the body dysmophia I still struggle with.

But I feel like I missed out on my teens and 20s. I can't get them back. I know I can't reverse the clock, and I am trying my best to just move forward and make my future my priority. But I'm still a virgin. I've never left the country. I've never made enough money to really own anything half decent. I just feel so behind due to my mental health.

My question is, where do I go from here? How do I get over the fact that I can't go back in time and redo it all? How do I not feel like I'm still just a kid without a plan at the age of 33?

If you read my entire story, I truly truly appreciate you. It means a lot. I had a lot to share, and I know not everyone will care to read it. Hopefully someone can relate and maybe not feel so alone like I did.