u/imconfusedwhatisthat

i will spare everyone the long paragraph, i already did that in my notes (it was really fucking long). but im not out to anyone i actually only offically because trans to myself like, maybe even only today not sure why it took so long, i have felt this way since i was a small child but yeah the dysphoria is getting reallly intense lately i was just considering dying because i wasnt born a boy. But it just feels so stupid because why do i care that much, its just a body and some words people are using to address me why do i even feel like this? But clearly something must have gone wrong when i was born because ive wanted to be a boy since forever. there are multiple evidences of me being trans when i was younger but once when i was 10 i thought women had no body hair but i saw the hair on my legs and i was so happy to show off my legs then i felt so manly, even though ive actually been super girly my whole life…also i found out recently my dad doesnt approve of trans people so idk how to feel about that or whats going to happen in the future

I dont know if I am really addicted because I hardly ever actually jerk off or get horny (only like once a week) but I always have the urge to watch porn and thinking about sex consumes more than half of my thoughts and its so frustrating its almost like if something doesnt have to do with sex or romance its just boring and sometimes I just wanna watch a movie or play something but I end up watching porn like its the highest form of entertainment even though im not horny