Hi I'm interested in the correlation between these two things, answer if you can!

1. Do you identify with autistic PDA traits?

(Pathological demand avoidance or persistent drive for autonomy, may stem from anxiety of being controlled as well as doing something incorrectly. This goes beyond simple stubbornness, as an example it may prevent you from saying thank you or please, go to the bathroom since it's perceived as a demand, etc. It's a complex thing, do please look it up don't only use my short explanation if you don't know what it is)

2. Do you consider your Lilith placement as strong?

(Conjunct sun, moon, angular houses, etc)

Seriously. Why is there so many. Why is every other person a virgo. I swear to god. They just spawn. All flavours of virgo. Fuckin hell.

(I'm not mad at them I'm just annoyed there are so many and they skew society towards their view of things)

Hi people, I wanna see if others feel the same. I don't identify as a man (I'm afab) but I do identify as a woman, because I feel like womanhood is a thing that happened to me more than a gender. Like I'm a woman politically. My actual genders feel more like feminine (in different ways) masc, all at once, kinda nothing, etc. I learnt to "dodge" social dysphoria by framing my existence as a woman in a political sense within a very binary world. If someone calls me a girl, they mean girl as the thing that I happened to be assigned to and that allows me to be a feminist from a specific experience, for example. It still hurts that people don't see the full reality of my existence obviously, whatever. But yeah when I look at cis men and women it feels like their gender is an exaggerated version of it. Like drag! Man and woman feel like drag. If all genders are something we do and perform, cis genders are the most "out there" performance. And the way it hurts when they don't see my full reality is almost like if they all lived in drag 24/7 and couldn't see reality. Blinded by the game they're playing.

What are your thoughts. Anyone relate? Am I going insane

When I dress more on the masc side I don't know how to validate myself. Like I am aware the external world sees it as "oh, how neat, a girl that's slightly tomboyish" because I'm quite feminine in appearance. It's like whenever someone pushes the feminist "girls can dress how they want!" I feel kinda disheartened and dysphoric. Obviously it's good that girls feel like they can dress how they want! But like it is soo hard to be gnc as a mostly feminine person. Because women could fully behave like a man and it's not ever questioned what they are (similar to how wlw are never taken seriously) whereas men or AMAB people wear a slightly feminine thing and everyone turns their heads 180º.

It's like this tunnel of girl --> tomboy --> lesbian --> masc/butch lesbian --> oh that's too much now.

Identity wise I wanna be in the "that's too much now". I wanna be not a woman in that moment. But the amount of masculinity required to be perceived as that is crazy and not even my style

Its implied in modern society that there are women women, and women "lite". Now this is a term I'm making up rn that could mean anything from gnc (even straight nonconforming women), queer, not bothered about gender much, don't wanna be mothers, etc. I feel like a lot of the cisstraight women you meet on a daily basis probably dont feel much like a woman, or don't like being pigeonholed, caged in femininity, etc. It's so normal for girls and women to do "man things". And it's encouraged in a way that you could possibly mistake pride for doing "man things" for gender euphoria, imo.

My question is how am I supposed to know if I'm genderfluid/non-binary or woman lite? I know the definitions, but on a feeling level. Is it just that you decide? Is it just a feeling of mm i still feel like I don't fit in with these women? Is it a particular type or amount of dysphoria? Euphoria?

I have days where I'm sure of my identity and others where I feel so silly for wanting to take more space than the woman lite space

Yesterday my dad's birthday got organised because I insisted, he kept saying my mum wouldn't want to tidy the house and organise and I insisted we could do something that wouldn't force her to organise anything, then he'd say our relatives aren't around/would be busy (everyone said they'd come, and my uncle happens to be in town this weekend!). And it just reminded me how I seem to bring luck to people as a sag and I love it!

Hey people I'm tryna figure out if this is a sag thing because I don't have a lot of sags in my life, and everyone seems to find it weird. So I find often people don't understand when I say I wanna do what I want. I started a junk journal recently and since I started it on holiday people are confused, they ask why don't you add dates so you remember when it was. The whole point is for it to be messy, yes to remind me of things I did sometimes but also just whatever I feel like glueing on it/drawing etc. When I say "this is not a travel notebook or scrapbook, it's a junk journal, the point is to do what I want, so adding dates would turn it into a task" people are confused.

Thing is, I've noticed this is a reoccurring theme in my life, when I explain I just wanna do what I want people say "ok but do you want, what is your plan?" There is no plan. There is momentary plans. There's ideas. But mostly I just do what I want in each moment. Everyone looks at me weird. Why do so many people feel the need to add rules? What do they think will happen if they don't? For example, what if I don't add dates to my journal. So what? I'll forget the date. I mean I can find out from flights on my phone. But that's besides the point. Like yes dates can be useful, but that's not what I wanna do right now. Why would I give myself that task, when that's not what I wanna do? And why do I have to know what the theme of my journal is? Why can't I just exist and fill the journal however I want in the moment? Like seriously what will happen if I don't have a theme. I just don't get it.

For the record nothing wrong with wanting to make an organised journal or whatever else. I'm just confused at their confusing more than anything. How the concept of "doing what you want" is so alien to people.

What the title says. I always assumed I was feeling more like a boy when attracted to women sometimes because my brain was trying to avoid the knowledge that I'm gay. Is that possible?

I know people joke that if someone's genderfluid every relationship they're in is gay, but I kinda feel like me being like this makes every relationship straight because I often "balance" the vibes involuntarily, if someone's very femme I feel masc etc.

I also feel like I take on roles, like for example if a partner needs reassurance, I start feeling more on the masc side.

I worry that I'm misinterpreting everything lol. Does anyone relate/how did you sort through this? Should I keep discouraging my brain from seeing itself as a boy when I'm with women? That's what I've always done because I thought I had to "face head on" my gayness

Hey y'all can anyone refer to me as Niv in the comments? Also can you tell me what vibes it gives you (more masc/femme/neutral)? 💛

Lol I'm posting a lot because I'm having a quick 2-day awakening at the ripe age of 26. Or maybe I'm hypomanic. Flip a coin.

Anyways I was wondering if anyone experiences something dysphoria adjacent thats kinda lighter than most people describe? It feels like just dissociation a bit and a feeling of "meh whatever, that will look like me again eventually". It's confusing because most people describe dysphoria as a very frightening feeling. I just dissociate from most negative things anyway, so wondering if that's just me coping. I'll look at my pictures and go "oh that's me in academia femme mode - haven't had that in a while. Kinda weird that that's not me rn. Mm".

Ok thanks and have a lovely evening!

Hey all I'm new, first of all hi! I'm wondering if anyone can give advice on how to find a name that works. I've dabbled in different usernames and nicknames over the years and they all feel weird. I've always wished I had a different name, but then all others feel awkward especially if I try to manufacture a nickname eg at a workplace I used to go by a certain version of my name, it felt super awkward and strange and not right. Please feel invited to just share whatever it doesn't have to be coherent advice! Just what worked for you

Hello I'm just kinda shouting into the void to see if my experience resonates with anyone.

Preface I'm autistic and I feel like a lot of autistic people experience gender in a weird way even if cis

I feel like I just vibe with my own definition of things normally, but sometimes I drink and feel the need to share things (not drunk rn) and I wonder if I should reach out to people about it.

I think I kinda accepted that I'm probably some kind of genderfluid when I was questioning my sexuality and gender at 17, but contrary to sexuality I never connected with people about gender stuff. I also don't really experience much "gender angst" since accepting I am whatever and people's definition of me doesn't matter. However, I used to hate my body as a teen, hated going through female puberty, thought maybe I'll get top surgery though some days I'd be overwhelmed at the thought like "omg but they're so nice" lol. Mostly I hated being seen as a girl socially. I hated gendered words, constantly felt like why are people not seeing my existence. I'm clearly not a girl like other girls, why are they ignoring that. My primary teacher used to make a face with my school snack and call it the male version of my name and it made me feel.. full and proud and glowing. Like when you push dust off an old object.

But as I said when I was about 20? 21? I decided you know what. I'm probably just experiencing autism gender. Social roles don't make sense for us. I likely have a PDA profile too.

However, I still secretly in my mind feel like I know who I am, I know I'm not girl like that, I fluctuate, that's what I do with everything. I don't need approval or recognition from anybody. That's what I decided. And the hatred for my body and gendered stuff went away. I started loving being a girl in my early twenties. I thought mm surely this is the queer autistic pipeline, just not liking being boxed in etc., and then having a hyperfem phase.

But, once my mum used the wrong gendered word for me, I was 20-something (my native language has more grammatical gender than English) and it again felt like dust off an old object. I wanna TALK about it, too. When around autistic friends I feel the need to talk about "autism gender" as I call it. I love switching my clothes presentation, it goes in waves from very fem to masc leaning. And i LOVE what it means too. In my mind. I know some people are like the most butch lesbian and they're like yeah but I'm still a woman. It's the opposite for me. Don't wanna be a man though. Don't wanna change my body.

Just wondering if this description sounds like gender euphoria that I'm chasing. Oh I forgot I also feel like I relate to trans women, the ones that use she/they and are kinda like "I'm a trans woman but also kinda non binary still". Not the experiences of course, they just feel like they get it. They're in the right spot that matches me.

And like if someone asked me which non-binary identity I would pick if I had to, I would know right away. There's nuance. I would be able to tell a story: "I liked the term demigirl in my Tumblr times, now I could say I'm probably genderfluid but also eh I'm just a very queer person, you know? And I also still feel cis because I fit in enough with cis people" That's how I'd explain it. It's like my brain has everything planned out, but then it doesn't even think about actually bringing it into the real world unless I'm drunk lol. And even then that's either by myself or framing it through the autistic lens for fear of looking silly for being excited about gender

This is long I'm sorry but I want to clarify I still don't feel like I fit in with a lot of trans people? I don't have gender envy, I don't have dysphoria (anymore, if maaybe what I had as a teen was?). But I know immediately what they mean when they say gender euphoria. Idk maybe I'm just empathetic, go figure.