u/itsmeabic

i just want a plain ass cheap vanilla ice cream sticky chocolate wafer shitty fucking ice cream sandwich bro 😭 i don’t want an organic non gmo plant based superfood ice cream sandwich with no grains or artificial dyes or flavors, just a regular-degular ice cream sandwich without the gluten PLEASE 🙏🏼 i like the jolly llamas well enough but they’re tiny and pretty expensive considering their size and also they’re very much Missing Something. i missed out on the fat boy brand when they still made those, and ice cream sandwiches are the one thing that i crave more than any other ice cream/novelty during summer time and im SICK OF NOT BEING ABLE TO HAVE ONE. at this point i feel like companies dont want to make money anymore because so many of us *need* to eat gluten free and dont care about every single food being perfectly healthy. some of us just want to enjoy our childhood favorites again, or experience them for the first time!!!!

Edit: i know that making/assembling my own is an option and i do occasionally do that it’s just lowkey sick and fucking twisted that i can’t just go to the store and buy a box of ice cream sandwiches ready to go that taste cheap and kinda shitty but so so good at the same time

I hate this fucking illness so much. It’s so embarrassing and even though I’ve actively been in therapy for years now, I have felt too ashamed to even tell my therapist about it. And for me, one of the worst parts is that it didn’t even start because of my body image. I had been binging for ten years before I had ever even thought about purging. And the first time I did, it was simply because I’d had such a severe binge that left me feeling so sick, making myself throw up felt like the logical thing to do just to get some physical relief. That was a couple months ago, and now I can’t go back. It’s like something got unlocked in my brain, and now I can’t escape the impulse to purge whenever I eat too much. Sugary foods are the worst. Anything more than a “reasonable” or “normal” amount of a dessert or “junk food” (whatever that means) and my mind immediately goes to getting rid of it. It’s become an addiction. I’m just so exhausted with myself but it feels impossible to give up. I can’t seem to control myself around my trigger foods. I almost always end up binging them, so purging feels like the only thing that gives me “permission” to have them at all. And because I didn’t start because I wanted to lose weight, I don’t even feel “bulimic enough” to ask for help. I just feel so stupid because I know that it’s harmful and I thought I would never do this and even though I made it through all of my teenage years on Tumblr in its peak pro-ED era as an incredibly insecure and depressed fat person, I still ended up here, during a time when the rest of my life is arguably at its best. Rationally, consciously, I know that it’s a mental illness and that I’m not doing anything wrong, per se, but it still feels like a moral failing that I have absolutely no excuse for.