u/jeremiabearamia

BLW has been going really well with my 8-month-old twins. However, they get really intense gas pains (like, wake up overnight screaming) when we give them cruciferous veggies (even though they love them), beans, lentils, and grains. We can get away with oatmeal but it makes them constipated.

We already can’t give them eggs, dairy, bananas, or avocados due to food allergies. I don’t want to further restrict their diets by avoiding the gas-making foods, but they’re so miserable and nobody sleeps when they eat them. this is despite using gas drops, giving water, bicycling their legs, etc.

Has anyone else dealt with this? How did you get your babies eating these foods?

I’ve been EBF my twins for 8 months. The mechanics had been going well, but about a month ago, they started latching poorly (shallow, not opening their mouths enough). They also developed high-arched palates recently so they have trouble getting suction and dribble milk.

Does anyone have experience correcting a latch this late? I try to shove it in more but they’re quite independent latchers at this age.

ETA I’m concerned because they’re feeding more frequently as a result of this, inclusion every 2-3 hours every night (which means every 1-2 hours for me). These aren’t habit or comfort feeds, but full feeds. So they’re getting their calories, but at the expense of everyone’s sleep and sanity. This is despite three meals a day of solids And nursing every 2-3 hours all day.

I’ve been EBF my twins for 8 months. The mechanics had been going well, but about a month ago, they started latching poorly (shallow, not opening their mouths enough). They also developed high-arched palates recently so they have trouble getting suction and dribble milk.

Does anyone have experience correcting a latch this late? I try to shove it in more but they’re quite independent latchers at this age.

My twins are 9 months old. I lost my job while pregnant and just got another part-time job last month. My husband’s salary just barely covers our living expenses, so my new salary covers as much childcare as we can manage and the rest comes from savings. (We can do this because the job I lost was very high-paying).

It’s very important to me to go back to work for my mental heath, and I found the perfect flexible part-time job, but it pays about $25/hour. Childcare centers around us won’t have two spots for about a year, and are full-time, for about $25/hour total. Our friend is traveling for the summer so her nanny is available. We booked her for 10 hours/week even though she charges $40/hour for twins. I was excited to get some focused work time, maybe even at a coffee shop or something.

Unfortunately, it isn’t going well. She seems overwhelmed with both babies (to be fair, so am I, but I was hoping a $$ nanny with twin experience would be more confident.) She isn’t able to get them to go down for a nap or take a bottle, so I’ve had to help Each time. It’s ended up basically being a mother’s helper situation where I hang out in the next room hoping the babies eventually get comfortable with her. (I’ve asked her repeatedly what her preferences are in terms of me staying close at first, leaving the house, etc.- what’s best for her and babies to adjust. She said stay in The next room.) It doesn’t seem to be getting any better.

The vibe isn’t great with us, either. I’ll write down for her and text what times each baby needs a bottle, etc., and she’ll still ask me verbally over and over until it’s time. I feel like she’s scolding me for not having put them in daycare before now (I couldn’t, no spots), not sleep training them well enough, etc.)

I expected an adjustment period for everybody and really want to be a good employer. But it feels like it’s not working out. We don’t have a contract, and my friend who employs her normally planned from the beginning to give her GH all summer, minus what she could cover from other gigs.

If it was just up to me, I’d tell her it’s not working and try to find a mother’s helper. If my husband and I have to stay close and help with everything, I don’t want to pay $40/hour for that. It’s way more work with her here because she doesn’t retain info and the boys are upset and unsettled.

Can I ethically get out? Should I keep trying to make it work? Is there anything else I can do?

ETA: I ended things with the nanny today. I feel bad that I stuck my friend with GH after she thought she arranged a solution, but I was dreading putting the babies through another session with the nanny.

After white-knuckling through seven months without any childcare or family help with my twins (6m adjusted), I have the opportunity to get some part-time childcare help.

Questions:

1. What rhythms have worked well for you? Times of day? Days of week? Frequency?
2. What baby activities are a good use of nanny time? I'm thinking things like library store hour scale better with one adult/two babies than things like sitting/crawling practice.
3. What grown-up activities are a good use of nanny time?
4. What else should I know to be a good employer?

More info:

1. they're exclusively breastfed and feed every 2.5-3 hours. I'd love for them to take a bottle, and we're on waitlists for OTs to address this and a few other issues, but it's not currently smooth sailing.
2. We're on 3 naps a day and the babies won't nap longer than 45 minutes without contact. I currently rescue one nap a day (with help from my husband) so they get a 1.5-2 hour nap.
3. Their wake windows are about 2 hours each. We're trying to stretch them but the girls hit the wall fast and hard shortly after 2 hours.
4. They don't particularly like the stroller, and either tolerate or hate the car. They don't sleep either place.
5. We live in the DC area so there's tons to do but traffic is brutal, so we've been too scared to go far from home given their dislike of driving.
6. We currently spend their awake time trying solids, playing with their Lovevery kits and other toys, looking at (chewing) board books, taking short walks, going to the library to people-watch, and touring the garden.
7. I'm an accidental SAHM after being laid off on maternity leave, and my husband just got to start his parental leave (until August). We'd love to even, like, take a walk together without keeping a close eye on the baby fuse.
8. This nanny has experience with twins.

In “it gets better”-type posts for parents, i I always see reassurance that someday you’ll have an evening again and be able to watch an episode of a show with your partner or something. I was curious, for fellow multiples parents, when that time came for you.

My twins are 6 months old and evenings are slightly less survival mode, but they’re still waking 5-10 times a night collectively so we really want to get to bed and get any sleep we can, even if it’s 6:30 PM and the kitchen is a wreck.