i feel like my brother might have SA’d me but i need more qualified options
So i was around 9 years old so my memory might be a bit hazy but here’s everything i can recall
I shared a room with my brother (18yrs) and one night we both couldn’t sleep and he suddenly asked me to play truth or dare. As a kid i didn’t even know what SA even was, and i grew up on the thought that my brother is always right ,since he’s more “mature and older”. i said yes and picked dare. He dared me to pull down my pants and underwear. i didn’t know what was going on so i did . suddenly his pants were off too and he started touching me. He told me not to be a snitch,to keep quiet and that this was just a “fun” game. I remember feeling really uncomfortable and confused on what was happening. He started using his tongue down there and i started to tell him stop,he did stop using his tongue after like five minutes of me complaining but he continued to use his fingers on me. He told me that this was making him happy so i didn’t stop him. He also said it would feel really good if i squirted,which he explained to me what it was. I really wanted him to stop touching me and i was super overstimulated so i vividly remember pissing on the bed just to pretend i was “squirting “ thats when he finally stopped. also remember his dick was out this whole time.
i felt so guilty cause technically i didn’t tell him to stop touching me, and i didn’t want to tell my parents because i didn’t think they would’ve believed me over my brother. i’ve never told anyone since. pls help