u/jolizzyro

I’d love to memorize your bone structure
So much so I could describe every
Curve edge inch between joints three year old break
To know your ways oddities and isms
The way you string together filler words
Thinking you make sense and I love your voice
So I’ll fill my mind with words of desire
Saccharine you pour out daily for me
Knowing you has rewired my veins
To seek yours even if inopportune
How can I forget the one who sees me
And how could I dare not reciprocate

**First freaky Friday post, eek! Only the italics are my words, but the whole dialogue seems too delightful not to share.**

I could make a language out of breathing an inch away from your skin and tracing the goosebumps with my tongue like a sacred braille.

I wouldn’t ever need to learn the language to enjoy every uttered word.

You could translate it in whimpers with no syllables given directly into the palm of my hand.
I'll know from the temperature and weight of your breath where you want my air to go, and when you want me to remove the space and taste your skin-
A multitude of languages without words that only we know.

Perfect words to describe what wordless interactions are meant for. Every slight beg for more, spoken with a silent, open mouth. A change in breath, a shift of the hips, that can only be responded to with fervor.

I want to bite your lip and suck your soft whimper, I want to feel what parts of you push to me when I do.

I think I’d be rightfully desperate at this point.

Feel me all the way inside you, watch me memorize your body being fucked by me.

This novel is set in the early 2000s so I’m thinking no immediate gay sex scene… but then again what other option is there?? This guy is obnoxiously flamboyant, and the MMC’s voice of reason, but that surely isn’t enough. Should my gay guy carry an emotional support dildo? Help me out here.
And no I’m NOT homophobic. My mom had a lesbian phase in college.

It clings to my skin
Uncomfortable and sticky
I love it, but it must come off

I pull
Tear and scratch
It won’t budge

Blink back tears
Bite my tongue

Skin pulls off
Fat follows it
Muscle disconnects

Bones exposed
Is it the pain

Or the vulnerability

That hurts more?

Coercion brought me to the edge
but it won’t bring me further

I don’t want to go back
and I refuse to move forward

I don’t want to jump
a big push in my prayer

I’d rather be scared
I’d rather be here

I picked up herb gardening
It’s therapeutic, in a cathartically fucked way
I sew these seeds, like buried secrets
Excitement waiting to spring

And what’s left is dirt under my nails
A sense of guilt for the time spent
In a world I don’t belong in
The world of herb gardening, that is.

The way in which we speak is a gesture of love to those who have contributed to it.

I picked up herb gardening
It’s therapeutic, in a cathartically fucked way
I sew these seeds, like buried secrets
Excitement waiting to spring

And what’s left is dirt under my nails
A sense of guilt for the time spent
In a world I don’t belong in
The world of herb gardening, that is.

Masochistic girl
Holds tightly to stinging truth
While falsehoods pour out