u/juliolovesme

This feels so ridiculous, but here goes.

I've been working in tech for ~15 years, primarily at older established companies. Last year I took a leap of faith and joined a larger (1000+ person) start up. It was a fucking mess, and I loved it. I poured myself into this job. I gave it everything I had, and they ate it up. I had stellar reviews, really strong relationships, and the work was exciting. But arguably, the job also sucked. I was an IC but asked to work as a manager with a small team under me, and the org was EXTREMELY hierarchical. So while I was supposed to be operating as a manager I never got the respect of one, which caused major issues in my ability to deliver. I raised the flag many times, in many different ways. I was told for months the promotion was "1-2 weeks away" and it never came. And eventually it be as so toxic I had to leave and I found another job.

They were SHOOK when I gave notice. They scrambled and gave me a great counter - from IC to senior manager with immediate headcount under me. I SO BADLY wanted to take it. I wanted this more than anything in my career. I cried about it pretty much daily through my last two weeks. Ultimately I declined and left because they also wanted me to relocate, and I didn't feel that was the right move with my husband in a good job he loves and young kids. It was too risky with how toxic things has been.

So I left, and I'm still devastated. I've been gone two weeks and I just don't feel any better. I'm starting my new job next week, and I hope that helps. But the sadness over leaving my last job is completely overshadowing my excitement for the new job. I still just feel so bummed I walked away from my dream job. I know it wouldn't have fixed the root issues. But damn it I loved that job and I gave it so much, it just feels like an incomplete chapter. I'm so unhappy about how things ended.

I have a bit of an armchair theory on this, and I'm curious what your experience has been.

I work in manufacturing tech and have for about 15 years, most of which I was in product management and have been in ~12 different roles over the years. Given that, I've seen pretty much every corner of the industry and know a lot about business processes, end users, and challenges of a complex industry. 6ish years ago I almost jumped and left for big tech but decided to really dig in and make manufacturing tech my "thing". Since I made that decision my career has kind of exploded (in a good way lol). Even in a rough job market I've been able to land new jobs (2 in the past 12 months) without much of an issue and the past two jobs I've gotten I was their white whale when they couldn't find someone for 6+ months.

Anyway I think about this sometimes and wonder if having a niche is the differentiating factor here. Or if I'm just lucky, have a good resume, or interview well 🤷‍♀️

Curious if those of you who have sort of honed in on a specific industry are having the same experience?

I recently left a job and the the last two weeks were... Interesting. I'm just curious from a managers perspective why they took this approach.

I started a job last year at a start up. I was a high level IC but pretty early into the job it was obvious this space was growing quickly and the role was not scoped appropriately. They were pretty open about my space growing into a department, and I was also open that I joined the team for growth opportunities. Win-win for everyone. Despite being an IC I had a small team of two contractors and a dot line internal person.

As time went on my job title caused major issues as I was supposed to collaborate and partner with senior managers up to VPs in other parts of the business. Super hierarchical org and my "peers" could not get over my IC title and constantly went around me to my boss, and tbh my boss allowed that to happen. I brought up many times that this was an issue and the role needed to be appropriately leveled for me to be effective in my job. I was told for 3+ months that the promotion was coming in "1-2 weeks". Of course, it never came and at some point I couldn't take the empty promises and toxicity anymore so I found another gig elsewhere.

I was a high performer (excellent reviews, overwhelmingly positive feedback) so I knew when I quit it would be a thing. I quit, they freaked out and begged me to stay. They wanted to counter and I said please don't, I deserved to be recognized sooner. They went ahead and countered anyway by bumping me up two levels. In the end I wanted to work something out with them, but they wanted me to relocate and I felt I couldn't take that risk given their lack of advocacy and the toxic environment with my "peers".

Now that I have since left I look back and just wonder... What the fuck happened there? They put major politcal capitol into keeping me at the end, when if they had just done that sooner I never would have looked elsewhere. Did they just decide I was low risk and safe bet to deprioritize when I was giving them my best work? Bizarre. I've had counter offers in the past but never anything like that. Usually they just throw money at me but not a massive title bump like that.

For context: they had scaled to 1000+ employees by the time I left, so definitely not in their infancy .

I recently started selling on posh and sold a few items. When I look at the tracking for these items it shows in the status update that it was delivered in/at mailbox, but it isn't showing as delivered and completed. A week has passed and they're still lingering in this state... What gives? Does the buyer need to confirm receipt for every order? Am I going to have to go through this for every sale I make 😵‍💫

Hi moms 👋

I work in manufacturing tech and have for about 15 years, most of my time as a product manager at large, established companies. Last year I took a leap of faith and joined a start up in a business facing role. It has been crazy, challenging work that has pushed me to grow a lot both personally and professionally. It's been hard but rewarding. I'm a lead IC but the goal, which my leadership was aligned with, was always to get into management.

Two things have happened in the past few months. One, my company is forcing a relocation to a new HQ site which is NOT landing well, and our org has grown substantially but my little corner of the company has not scaled which has caused major issues with the way we work and my workload. Taking all of this into account I decided to leave and pretty quickly got another role as a PM at an established company in my industry. It is a bit of a step back in my career - from a title standpoint it's exactly what I was doing before.

When I gave notice at my job my leadership freaked out. I was honest and respectful about why I was leaving - mostly noting that because we didn't scale that I was suffering with a crushing workload as a result. They asked to counter and I'm stubborn so I declined. Instead of countering, they gave me a promotion (effective immediately) to senior manager. The pay is outstanding, the benefits are outstanding, they gave me headcount for 4-5 people and want me to create my own department - doing the org design, defining roles, and redefining entirely the role that I came in at. I have to be brutally honest that this EXACTLY what I have been working towards my whole career. I am blown away. I really want to do this.

But I am EXTREMELY torn because there's some downsides as well. We really don't want to move, and my husband is also a high earner with a great job. I have 1 year to move (maybe a little longer if I can swing it, and it's possible they might lighten up on it over time) but I would remote for that year. Being remote is rad because my husband travels a lot for work and we have a 3&5 year old. Being remote allows me to kick ass at work too. We probably would not move at the end of that year, so I'd be looking for my next role at that point. Also, I already accepted another job! If I turn that down it's a burned bridge in my industry. And... I'd probably be looking again in about a year too.

I am so excited by this opportunity and really want to move my career forward. And tbh I am scared about getting back into a job (the other job I accepted) that historically I found really boring and unfulfilling, but it's stable. I just don't want to do. One path is so exciting and intense and might have amazing payoff. The other path is stable and predictable but does not excite me or move the needle on my career.

Wiser women, please help a mom out.

What was a defining experience that kicked off your career growth?

I really, really, really need some advice here!

I work in manufacturing tech and have for ~15 years. Previously I worked at established companies as a product manager, which I liked and I enjoyed the WLB and stability, but I found to be extremely slow and boring most days. About a year ago I made the jump to a manufacturing start up and switched over to an IT business facing role. It's hard to describe this role, but given the start up it's like a mix of product/program/project management, solution architecture, delivery manager - you name it I did it. NEVER a dull moment. I loved the product, loved the company, loved most of the people and I was all in. I report to a VP who I really like, and got along really well with senior leadership.

I was happily working at my local office when a few months into the job the forced a relocation on us. I was down, my husband had just taken a buy out, and our kids have't started school yet so we were like... why not? The relocation package sucked and didn't cover our costs, but they offered me a retention bonus to make up the difference. So we said yes, and with a long (1 year+) runway to finalize the move.

Sometime after this things went to shit. The org grew beyond the original structure and I was just getting hammered. I had a small team of contractors under me, but the work just became unsustainable. I was drowning and I started to become resentful they wouldn't move me up appropriately in the org. I was a lead IC and really wanted to get into a formal management position. The org was also very hierarchical and my title was causing me some issues with others (a handful in particular) who would sidestep me and not take me seriously because of my title. I brought this up many times, but nothing changed and I felt hopeless. Without moving up at the company I didn't feel it was worth moving anymore, so I made the decision to leave. My husband found other employment here and I also found another PM job at an established (boring) company.

I gave noticed a couple weeks ago and my leadership FREAKED out. They have been begging me to stay, and tbh on a personal level I am devastated to be leaving something I cared deeply about. I didn't really feel ready to leave yet - like the chapter wasn't closed yet. Anyway, they gave me a kind of insane counter offer. Actually, it's not even a counter offer - they promoted me effective immediately. Moved me from Lead IC to Senior Manager, just under $200k base salary, 20% bonus, budget for a 4-5 person team immediately, and they are branding this as my having my own department that I get to completely design and redefine the role and what the roles under me would be doing. The company's funding is odd... so they do not do RSUs (yet). Y'all MY HEART. It is everything I want to be doing. I tried to put up a fight here and say no thank you, but... this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for me. And I really want to find a way to make this work. There are so many people that I adore here and the work is still so interesting to me... ugh.

Now here's the problem. Things have changed. My husband is in a new job. My oldest son is now starting kindergarten this year. And TBH I don't feel great about moving right now. None of us do. But they were pretty clear this is the one thing they are pretty firm on - relocation is a must. I have exactly 1 year to move... but I don't feel like I can commit to that right now. It's the one thing my gut is just like "no, don't" about. I feel weird about staying for a year and then bouncing - which they also said was fine if that's what I want to do. I want to get into something longer term, and I want to see this work through if I'm committing to it. And sure, maybe things are good in a year and we'd want to move (unlikely, we aren't psyched about the relocation area), but... I don't know.

The other thing is the other job I accepted. I work in specific industry and I want to stay in this industry long-term. I am worried about burning a bridge here because I already accepted this other role. I also don't want to hold myself back, but. If I were to stay at the startup for a year and then bounce, this is one less option that I have available to me in my home state (assuming they'd blacklist me for backing out). Also for comparison - this other job is a PM role that's a management/leadership position with no team reporting into it. Base pay is $175k with a 14% bonus. Very secure long-term, no relocation (ever), the kind of job you stay to indefinitely.

Anyway, I just cannot reconcile this. I am really, really struggling to walk away from this counter. I know they didn't do me right upfront, but when I called them on it they were so quick to right this and clearly want to work with me. And I really, really like my immediate team and management and it is hard to walk away from a team I really respect and care about. I feel like I have an opportunity to here to make real, lasting, impactful change and that feels very joyful to me. But I also feel like I can't walk alway from this other thing because it jeopardizes my long-term stability.

I really, really, really need some advice here!

I work in manufacturing tech and have for ~15 years. Previously I worked at established companies as a product manager, which I liked and I enjoyed the WLB and stability, but I found to be extremely slow and boring most days. About a year ago I made the jump to a manufacturing start up and switched over to an IT business facing role. It's hard to describe this role, but given the start up it's like a mix of product/program/project management, solution architecture, delivery manager - you name it I did it. NEVER a dull moment. I loved the product, loved the company, loved most of the people and I was all in. I report to a VP who I really like, and got along really well with senior leadership.

I was happily working at my local office when a few months into the job the forced a relocation on us. I was down, my husband had just taken a buy out, and our kids have't started school yet so we were like... why not? The relocation package sucked and didn't cover our costs, but they offered me a retention bonus to make up the difference. So we said yes, and with a long (1 year+) runway to finalize the move.

Sometime after this things went to shit. The org grew beyond the original structure and I was just getting hammered. I had a small team of contractors under me, but the work just became unsustainable. I was drowning and I started to become resentful they wouldn't move me up appropriately in the org. I was a lead IC and really wanted to get into a formal management position. The org was also very hierarchical and my title was causing me some issues with others (a handful in particular) who would sidestep me and not take me seriously because of my title. I brought this up many times, but nothing changed and I felt hopeless. Without moving up at the company I didn't feel it was worth moving anymore, so I made the decision to leave. My husband found other employment here and I also found another PM job at an established (boring) company.

I gave noticed a couple weeks ago and my leadership FREAKED out. They have been begging me to stay, and tbh on a personal level I am devastated to be leaving something I cared deeply about. I didn't really feel ready to leave yet - like the chapter wasn't closed yet. Anyway, they gave me a kind of insane counter offer. Actually, it's not even a counter offer - they promoted me effective immediately. Moved me from Lead IC to Senior Manager, just under $200k base salary, 20% bonus, budget for a 4-5 person team immediately, and they are branding this as my having my own department that I get to completely design and redefine the role and what the roles under me would be doing. The company's funding is odd... so they do not do RSUs (yet). Y'all MY HEART. It is everything I want to be doing. I tried to put up a fight here and say no thank you, but... this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for me. And I really want to find a way to make this work. There are so many people that I adore here and the work is still so interesting to me... ugh.

Now here's the problem. Things have changed. My husband is in a new job. My oldest son is now starting kindergarten this year. And TBH I don't feel great about moving right now. None of us do. But they were pretty clear this is the one thing they are pretty firm on - relocation is a must. I have exactly 1 year to move... but I don't feel like I can commit to that right now. It's the one thing my gut is just like "no, don't" about. I feel weird about staying for a year and then bouncing - which they also said was fine if that's what I want to do. I want to get into something longer term, and I want to see this work through if I'm committing to it. And sure, maybe things are good in a year and we'd want to move (unlikely, we aren't psyched about the relocation area), but... I don't know.

The other thing is the other job I accepted. I work in specific industry and I want to stay in this industry long-term. I am worried about burning a bridge here because I already accepted this other role. I also don't want to hold myself back, but. If I were to stay at the startup for a year and then bounce, this is one less option that I have available to me in my home state (assuming they'd blacklist me for backing out). Also for comparison - this other job is a PM role that's a management/leadership position with no team reporting into it. Base pay is $175k with a 14% bonus. Very secure long-term, no relocation (ever), the kind of job you stay to indefinitely.

Anyway, I just cannot reconcile this. I am really, really struggling to walk away from this counter. I know they didn't do me right upfront, but when I called them on it they were so quick to right this and clearly want to work with me. And I really, really like my immediate team and management and it is hard to walk away from a team I really respect and care about. I feel like I have an opportunity to here to make real, lasting, impactful change and that feels very joyful to me. But I also feel like I can't walk alway from this other thing because it jeopardizes my long-term stability.

Help me, I'm losing my mind :(

To keep a long story short... I work in manufacturing tech and have for several years, always at established companies. Last year I took a leap of faith and joined a start up in a lead position. I loved my job, loved the work, loved the people but my title was a real issue for me. I was expected to partner with senior managers up to VPs, and my IC title just never had me totally "in" with them. It caused some major cultural issues for me, but I stuck it out as long as I could because career growth was promised to me. Despite my title I managed a small team, and was told for 3 months the manager title was "1-2 weeks away". It never came, so I took the hint and went looking elsewhere and landed another job.

I gave notice at my job and I was, to be honest, devastated. I really had hoped things would turn out differently, but I had to look out for myself. I was honest with anyone who would listen about why I was leaving - I was under staffed, under supported, and not treated as an equal to the people I was supposed to be partnering with. I was also honest about how gutted I was about it all.

My leadership wanted to counter offer and I said "thanks, no thanks". If they couldn't recognize me when I was at my best, I didn't want to hear it when I was one foot out the door. Despite this they did counter... In the form of an immediate promotion. Not only that, but a double promotion, 20% raise, and headcount for a 4 person team.

Anyway... They have my attention. It's definitely better than my other offer, and tbh I'm a sucker and emotionally bought in on this place. I'm concerned about backing out of the other offer and burning a bridge there. But if I'm honest, the offer I got from my current job is a major career goal of mine. I'm struggling to just walk away.

How absolutely out of my mind am I to be considering this counter offer?

Update: More details - it's in writing, effective Monday and base salary is just shy of $200k with 20% bonus. They had already given me a retention bonus as well (which I was planning to walk away from and pay back fwiw). They want to keep me because I have a ton of knowledge they don't want to lose and very strong relationships at the company. The other job pays $15k less, no team. I'm torn because management has been a career goal of mine... Forever.

I just need some advice from someone wiser than me.

I work in manufacturing tech and I love it. It's definitely my passion and I really enjoy the industry. I previously worked at established companies, but last year took a leap of faith and decided to join a start up. I knew it would be intense, I knew it would be hard work, but I was in a place in my life where I wanted a challenge and I had hoped it would result in some career growth. I took a lead business facing position.

I was right and it was extremely challenging, but I was really bought in on the company, the product, and the people. Against my better judgement, I really let myself go all in and just love it. I grew A LOT in the year I was there, both personally and professionally, and I gave it my all. I had a lot of positive feedback and had a stellar review. I was promised for months that I'd move up, get a team, etc. and I really REALLY needed that because I was drowning in the work. They told me "the job posting will come in 1-2 weeks" for 3 months... and eventually I gave up. I also found myself in an extremely difficult situation because my business was moving faster than I could deliver, so I was always in the hot seat with them. I just couldn't do it anymore. I was tired, crying a lot, and felt like I could never get a win. I felt disrespected by my business partners because they didn't respect my position. To them I was an order taker, and my lead title didn't hold weight to them. My business peers were all senior managers up to VP. I was just never "in" with them and always a rung below. So basically... it started off good, I loved it, but as time went on and my role didn't evolve the negatives began to outweigh the positives.

In the end I got a new job rather quickly, which I was pretty stoked about! When I gave notice it really kind of gutted me. I've been pretty upset finishing out my last 2 weeks. My boss, who I really, really like, is super bummed I'm leaving and trying everything to get me to stay. They are trying to counter with a team and a management title. My business partners are also pretty shocked and have committed to working on the culture with me.

I'm fucked up about this honestly. The new job is good, the team is excited to have me, and it's promising. But I am so bummed to be leaving something I cared about and believed in so much. I told my boss not to bother with the counter offer - I deserved to be recognized when I was giving it my best, not when I'm one foot out the door. But every day is a struggle for me knowing I'm leaving and I just can't seem to reconcile it. I was not treated well, I was taken advantage of, and I deserved the team they promised months ago. But to have them offering everything now and knowingly walking away from it just... totally fucking sucks, man. I can't help but wonder if I'm totally screwing up here walking away.

Have y'all ever been through this before?

Just looking for some advice from someone wiser than me.

For the past year I've been working at a manufacturing start up that I was very passionate about. I enjoy the work, I really enjoy the people, and I was very bought in on the product. I work in a role that requires me to work cross functionally and there were some... Issues there. I'm a high level IC, and the intent was always for this role to grow into a full team. The company is very hierarchical and unfortunately being in an IC role my cross functions peers struggled to accept my authority and I often felt disrespected by them. I was also expected to manage a very large space and do the work, which just wasn't feasible or sustainable. When my leadership failed to move on growing the team I made the tough decision to look elsewhere and quickly landed another gig.

When I gave notice they kind of freaked out and said they'd do basically aything to keep me. I also later found out they were actively working with HR to promote me and grow my team, and I just wasn't aware of it.

I'm pretty cut up about leaving this job. I know logically it's stupid to accept a counter offer. I'm also pretty bummed it took me giving notice for them to apparently realize they needed make moves for me. I guess I just need to hear from someone else - is this a lost cause? Is it ridiculous to hear them out on a counter offer?

Just looking for some advice from someone wiser than me.

For the past year I've been working at a manufacturing start up that I was very passionate about. I enjoy the work, I really enjoy the people, and I was very bought in on the product. I work in a role that requires me to work cross functionally and there were some... Issues there. I'm a high level IC, and the intent was always for this role to grow into a full team. The company is very hierarchical and unfortunately being in an IC role my cross functions peers struggled to accept my authority and I often felt disrespected by them. I was also expected to manage a very large space and do the work, which just wasn't feasible or sustainable. When my leadership failed to move on growing the team I made the tough decision to look elsewhere and quickly landed another gig.

When I gave notice they kind of freaked out and said they'd do basically aything to keep me. I also later found out they were actively working with HR to promote me and grow my team, and I just wasn't aware of it.

I'm pretty cut up about leaving this job. I know logically it's stupid to accept a counter offer. I'm also pretty bummed it took me giving notice for them to apparently realize they needed make moves for me. I guess I just need to hear from someone else - is this a lost cause? Is it ridiculous to hear them out on a counter offer?

I need some words of wisdom from someone wiser than me.

When I started my job, I loved it. I have a niche that I have built my career around and I am super passionate about it. Last year I made the jump from a very established brand and jumped into a manufacturing start up. At first, it was pretty good - the work has always been intense and fast but I could manage it.

Somewhere along the line, especially since the new year, it's gotten progressively worse. My workload continues to grow quarter-over-quarter, even though I'm an IC I'm managing a 5 person team (without the title or the benefits of a manager), and I am just constantly beat down by those around me. I left product management and went into a business facing IT role and I didn't realize that IT is now a "service org" and that every other org in the company will spit on me until they get what they want. I digress. My boss is aware I'm overwhelmed, and I've been sounding the alarm for the past 6 months. He gives me quick fixes and tells me "everyone is drowning". The help is not coming. I cannot stand this job or this company. I am disgusted by the way others treat me. I cry every day.

I have been interviewing elsewhere and recently made it to the final round for a group PM role. In the end they went a different direction, but they passed me off to an adjacent team who is hiring a senior PM (this is lateral with my current job and past PM experiences). They are super stoked and immediately put me through to the final interview round and stated it's a formality. I am pretty sure the only way I can botch this is if I meltdown in the interview or some random act of God occurs. All this to say - I am so close I can TASTE this job.

I am not in a position where I can afford to be out of work indefinitely. I have young kids and our stability depends on us being a two income house. That said, I'm fucked up about this job! It is destroying my quality of life. I'm a shell of a person. I cannot stop crying about it. So much so, that I'm thinking about putting in my notice and just going for it. I intend to give a 1 month notice. I just need them to know that I'm out and that I'm only doing bare minimum from here on out.

Am I absolutely out of my mind to do this before I have this offer lined up? I just don't know how to get through this. I keep telling myself one day at a time but every day is the worst day of my life. I am literally the guy from Office Space.

No reason to get too into the weeds here, but I'm just wondering how much info do I share with my leadership when quitting my job as an IC?

I loved my job and worked really, really hard at it. I always had stellar reviews and positive feedback. But, I was totally worked into the ground and left with a lot of empty promises. I was an IC but managing a 5 person team with the promise of management title that never came to fruition. And despite saying for about a year that I was overwhelmed and drowning in a crushing workload I was just met with "everyone is" and no fixes. I wanted to stick it out longer, but I just can't do it anymore. So I found another job.

Despite all this I really like and respect my boss, and I think my departure will be a bit of a surprise to them. How much do I tell them when I put in my notice? Do I just keep it vague and "I'm pursuing an opportunity more aligned with my career goals", or do I give them a little more about how the role was unsustainable? I don't want to burn the place down or anything when I go - I want to keep relationships in tact when I leave. But I do think they are blissfully unaware to how dire the situation really is for me.

Those of you who have taken a non-linear path through your career, what was your experience like? Any advice?

I've been in tech for 15 years, primarily as a product manager. I have slowly worked my way up from PM > Senior > Lead. I'm currently at a company that is just... Brutal. Super toxic, super demanding, and I just can't take it anymore. I've been on a path to promotion to Group PM here, and I was hopeful I could stick it out to get the title, but I just can't. I recently applied and interviewed for a GPM role and made it to the final round, but ultimately they went with someone else but want me to pursue a senior PM role on an adjacent team. I'm not sure if this is lateral or a step down for me (they don't have a lead role at this company), but I'm really considering it. This company is solid, pays well, and is known for great work life balance. My ego is definitely bruised and I'm sad to see my career not progressing as I had hoped. But I'm also trying to see this as an opportunity to be more sustainable in my career and reset after a bad situation. I'm hopeful it won't be a death sentence and that I can continue to move upwards over time, especially since I'll realistic work for another 25+ years (I'm mid-30s).

I recently interviewed for a group product manager role, which I thought I absolutely crushed! Made it all the way to the final round just for them to tell me 3 weeks later they "went a different direction". I get it, but it sucks. In the rejection email the recruiter warmly handed me off to another recruiter for a senior product manager role. This role is on the team I was interviewing for, but a step lower. The hiring manager for this senior PM role has been checking out my linkedin, and I assume the team has an interest in getting me in this role rather than the recruiter doing me a solid. They did provide positive feedback and said the team liked me.

I am INCREDIBLY torn. On one hand, I hate my current job and it's super toxic so I'm eager to leave. I am very interested in joining this company, and I'm also aware opportunities are hard to come by right now. I'm also bummed because I've been a senior PM for several years now and am job shopping because I can't seem to break through the glass ceiling to the next level. It's a huge bummer to move just to be in the same position. And I'm a little worried about the teams perception of me if I'm willing to accept a lower position. Is that a bad look?

Has anyone been in this situation before? How did you handle it?

Y'all, I need some outside perspective on this.

I've been interviewing for a position for about 6 weeks now. 3 rounds, all went well, and I had my final interview 2.5 weeks ago. About 1 week ago I emailed the recruiter to ask for an update on the role. They let me know someone from the hiring team was out and that they would debrief on Monday of this week. They let me know that they would have an update for me then.

It's now Wednesday and not a peep. This seems like an exceptionally long time to hear... Nothing? The recruiter has been warm and responsive throughout so I don't think this is a ghosting situation. I'm not sure what to do now. I don't want to keep hounding the recruiter for an update, and I'm also thinking surely they would/could have told me by now if I'm out. Do I just continue to wait forever?

Hi friends - I'm actually not an Amazon person, but I recently learned about the term "bar raiser" and found out this originated from Amazon.

I recently had a third round interview at a non-tech company. I wasn't expecting this, and had never heard of it before, but the person interviewing me introduced themselves as a bar raiser and said they previously worked at Amazon and were a bar raiser there as well. I didn't know the concept but I did pick up on it right away that this person was here to challenge and intimidate me. Looking it up afterwards I now get that's the intent. But what is weird to me is... This person was extremely rude to me in the interview. They didn't allow me to introduce myself, clearly had not reviewed my resume, interrupted me constantly to try and poke holes in what I was saying, minimized my leadership experience and kept making digs at the team I manage being "small", and questioned why my current job even exists and what value it beings (I work at a different company currently). At the end we hit time and they just abruptly ended the interview.

I am just dying to know if this is really how bar raisers are? I totally understand wanting to pressure test candidates but it was just so bizarre to have a couple of really solid interviews only to have the final round feel like a mockery?!

I've been interviewing for a management position for the past several weeks, 3 rounds of interviews total. The job itself is a killer fit for me - I have built my career around this type of work in this industry and I have exact experience in what they are trying to solve. It is a product leader position.

First interview with the hiring manager went great - we connected, I had solid examples and answers, and she quickly moved me forward to the next round. Next round was with what would be a peer and I CRUSHED it. Absolutely nailed it, it was probably my best interview ever. That same day they called me back to schedule the final round.

I had the final interview round earlier this week and it was... rough. The person interviewing me was from a different reporting chain and is a peer to the hiring manager. Right off the bat he told me he was there to "raise the bar" and ensure they are hiring the best of the best. He introduced himself, but did not give me a chance to introduce myself and just immediately jumped into the questions. It was apparent he was not familiar with me, where I was in the interview process, or had read my resume. My first gut instinct was that I needed to lock in and stay calm, cool, and rock solid so I just muscle through it. So I guess right away I was thinking he's trying rattle me. His questions were windy and I often couldn't quite understand what he was getting at. Throughout the whole interview he minimized me, questioned why my current job even exists, reduce my leadership experience, constantly made comments about my "small" team, repeated what I said back to me incorrectly, and interrupted me constantly with questions about irrelevant or minute details of my examples, and was just... an ass. I left the interview thinking to myself that it did not go so well. I struggled a bit with some of the questions because I could't quite make out what he was trying to get out of me, though I did answer every question and every follow up question to the best of my ability. I stayed calm, cool, and present the entire time. I was not shaken at all. I think that's about all I really have going for me. I didn't have a chance to showcase any of the stuff I'm really good at and the killer experience I have.

The wind is totally taken out of my sails, I can't believe I crushed it only to get to the final interview and have this guy just kind of tear me down for an hour. I'm proud of how I held it together but I feel as big as an ant after that experience. Obviously one guys opinion doesn't matter, but I'm just like... wow, I blew it. My most generous read on this situation is that maybe the guy isn't a raging butthole and this was some "bad cop" situation where his goal was to try and rattle me and throw me off and push me around. He did mention that the hardest part of this role is the executive interaction... so, maybe.

In my current role I report to a VP and most of my interactions are with director level up to C-suite and NO ONE dogs on me like that dude did. In fact, I had 6 interview rounds for my current role that were director level up and not a single person tried to belittle or put me down or rattle me as part of the interview.

I'm just wondering if this is a thing to behave badly as a test of someone before hiring them? Or was this guy just truly a nightmare?!

I had an interview recently that was... Odd? To say the least. Curious what this was all about, is it a red flag or an interview tactic? Or maybe both?

I've been interviewing for a leadership role at a company. I'm definitely a fit for this role with a lot of relevant and exact experience in this space. First interview with the hiring manager went great, we totally clicked and no issues. Second interview was with a potential peer and also went very well, very obviously a positive experience for both of us. I'm thinking I'm crushing it at this point. Same day as the second interview the recruiter reached out to schedule the final interview with a peer of the hiring manager - same job but different reporting chain.

Had the final interview round and it was INTENSE. I immediately got the sense I needed to be locked in unwavering. The interviewer got on and introduced himself, but did not give me a chance to introduction myself or go over my background. He told me his role in the interview process was to raise the bar and ensure they hire the best people. He had no clue about me, where I was in the hiring process, and didn't appear to have read my resume. He hammered me with several intense questions, interrupted me while I answered, and didn't seem to comprehend a fair amount of what I was saying and repeated incorrect things back to me. It was bizarre. I answered as best as I could, stayed calm and maintained my presence, but ultimately felt a few answers left my scratching my head and unsure about where I stood. At the end I asked a couple of questions and he did highlight that the biggest challenge of this role is it being executive facing. I was still asking questions when our time was up and he abruptly ended the call saying we were at time. It was... Weird. There was no meaningful conversation, no pleasantries, and I got the sense the guy did not give a hoot about what I was bringing to the table in the slightest.

I can't tell if this was an intentional pressure test or if this is a giant red flag. Was the goal to try and rattle and trip me up? I am just feeling shocked I feel like I blew this job interviewing with someone from another department after I clicked so much with the actual team. Am I cooked??