u/jumpingjack979

Loved the first kid so much, had a second. Loved the second the same, had a third.

We dont have a village, its been hard, totally worth it, but hard. Wife and I have had a lot of rough patches, but theyve been fewer and farther between lately. Thought the rough patches would never end.

If your raising kids without a village, keep the faith, hang in there, life is awesome once you start to figure things out.

Anyone know the going rate for baby sitter. A high school student watching 4 and 5 year old? In New York State, 1 hour north of nyc.

Drama between adult siblings. Thoughts?

4 yo (child of sibling A) is invited to house for small gathering. Child walks into a 60+ year old glass door (ordinary glass, not tempered or safety glazed). Just walking, not playing, roughhousing, etc. Door shatters. Sibling B owns the house.

Sibling A, says, as a courtesy to "let me know when you get a quote".

Sibling B, sends a quote for an upgrade on April 1st. Just the quote, no context, no text or questions. Sibling A, doesnt respond.

Sibling B, 2 weeks later resends the quote with a text "How do you want to handle this?" and then asks to split the cost 50/50. Sibling A agrees.

Sibling A, offers asks other family members driving by, and visiting sibling B to stop and pick up a check on their way 2 or 3 times. Coordinating doesnt work out.

Sibling A also has a child in the hospital, and adter discharge requires a lot more attention during the time period in question.

1.5 months pass, sibling B makes an invoice in MS Excel and mails it to A.

Trying to present as facts without revealing whether Im A or B, but Im A.

After recievig the invoice, I tell my parents, I dont whant them to be involved but just so I dont need to explain when time comes, that I will not be anywhere where B is. So if i decline an invite, thats why. And if B shows up, I will leave without saying anything.

Sibling B and spouse have a long history of being disrespectful, passive aggressive, condensending, going thru motions to check boxes, i.e invites at the last min. Although, I said let me know when you get a quote, I feel like anyone in their position (myself included) would just pay for it, given it was a hazard to begin with at B's house, should have been replaced before (B has small kids too). It was a pure accident, not like 4 yo was throwing rocks or something.

I didnt like they way B handled it, and given history of B/B's spouse being as theyve been, decided meh, Id rather not bother with them.

Am I being unreasonable?

First, I love my wife. She cant, however, seem to manage taking care of the kids alone for more than an hour, if that. If I try anything independently, gym, run, etc., within 30 min im summoned home, or theres a bunch of texts about how the kids are going wild. I dont even bother trying to exercise, or do anything really.

Early morning if off the table, I pickup after school, so afternoon is off the table too.

Ive tried working out or doing other hobbies at lunch, but thats often met with resistance, too.

Anyone else have a similar experience? How'd you manage?

My firm took on a client, after filing the complaint, there was a brief negotiation period. I'm a first year, file a lot of my own docs, have autonomy to negotiate, but usually discuss with the partner in advance. During that brief period of negotiation, opposing counsel called, said it was a professional courtesy off line sort of thing regarding our client being full of crap, that the client is lying, etc. That the our effort will be a waste of everyones time/money. Theres a long history between the parties, OC tells his/his clients side, which naturally conflicts with ours. Our client also had a lot of strong documentary evidence.

I originally thought OC was trying to take advantage of my inexperience.

Now, howrver, I think OC may have genuinely been trying to be helpful. If not lying, our client is certainly witholding material info, we act upon what we believe is complete info, and then have to figure out how to proceed given arguably false info weve presented to OC and/or the court.

Should I have taken OC seriously?

Coming in as a first year associate, I had developed a productivity system that works for me. it's a combination of productivity techniques modified a little to fit my working style. it's worked really well in a high pressure corporate job, but fails miserably in this associate role.

The failure point, i think, is that new time sensitive assignments from more senior attorneys/partners require immediate attention and disrupt anything I had planned. I'm not complaining about getting assigned that work, but rather trying to figure out how to accommodate those those requests while managing other assignments with longer deadlines. Inevitably those other assignments with longer deadlines are often done under the gun because those assignments requiring immediate attention take priority. everything gets done on time, however, it's frustrating that everything seems to done at the last minute.

I can imagine telling the partners i can't accommodate the short term assignments because I have other things planned that day, which are due in a week or more, won't go over so well.

Any recommendations for individual productivity?

I'm having a hard time figuring this out. This might just be life as an associate. My solution thus far has been to just brute force the work, have an outline of prioritized tasks, knock things off my list as time permits, deviate from my plan for urgent requests, and return to my plan after the urgent assignments are done.

Anyone buy equipment from made-in-china.com and have it delivered to the US? Is it a legitimate site? Did you get what you expected?

My hourly target generates 7x my comp. I see 85-90% of the time I charge gets billed. I usually hit my hourly target, +/- a few hours week to week. At 85% efficient, that generates 6x my comp. Im a first year, dont have much context, but 6-7x seems like a lot.

Was told 1/3 of what's billed goes to associate compensation, 1/3 to partners, and 1/3 to overhead. If thats the case, revenue would be 3x comp, right?

Seems like that hourly target is a big thing. The pressure to hit the target, doesnt make much sense given that 1/3rd arrangement.

Can anyone explain the logic?

Got back into skating after after 20+ years. Back then my friends all skated, feels like a cliche writing this, but my friends and I were all different from most other kids, probably became friends because of skating, and maybe by default because for one reason or another we didnt click with most others. Generally good kids, but may have looked bad, often assumed to be trouble. The kind store clerks monitor. Ironically I did a short stint in retail, and the most common profile for a shoplifter was arrogant, 20-40YO white ladies.

Skating was the one thing gave me a sense of belonging, probably the same for my friends. Everyone was at different levels, I really liked improving, others were content to just hang out.

Skating doesn't seem to be as popular now, as it was in the early 2000s. Maybe Im wrong?

Now it seems like there are other ways for kids who may feel different to find friends, largely through social media, which doesent seem authentic, but provides that sense of belonging. Was thinking that might explain it.

The other hypothesis...people stopped skating, went to college, or learned a trade, earn decent money, their kids benefit from that, can afford clothes, or other things to fit in. This was my thing growing up, life hit my parents hard, they always struggled financially, but wanted to live in a town with good schools. That meant the town was very affluent. Us not so much.

Anyone else think about this? Skating growing or shrinking? Why?

In a (mentorship?) conversation with a partner regarding how to advance, make more money, etc. become a partner, the things to do were pretty simple, and can probably go without saying...become efficient, bill lots of hours, build a book. However, was advised that as an attorney with kids, having a working spouse makes it hard to do those things, and when spouses who arent on board with attorney prioritizing work, both personal and work become challenging, or best case youre doing ok on one front, but struggle on the other. With a working apouse and kids, the options are (a) spouse stops working, or (b) spouse works, career just kinda floats along or rogresses slowly, maybe remain am associate for 20+ years In the moment, I think it may have been a subtle way of saying your wife should leave her job.

How things have played out so far, I could see what the partner described being a real thing.

Have other experienced this?

I jumped into practicing for the first time 10 years after law school. Hired as a first year associate, which is what I expected. And also expected to be treated as such (i.e. being micromanaged a little until I build trust, maybe spoken-down to a little)

What I didnt expect was unresponsiveness from the partners.

Trying to inderstand if my experience 6 months in is typical, or unique to the firm im at.

I work with 5 different partners, they rarely if ever, tell me when they are OOO, or need to cancel or reschedule a meeting. They often dont reply to email, even after one or more friendly bumps to the top of the inbox. I, however, do respond, and give a heads up if I need to reschedule.

I worked in commercial roles after law school, was lucky to work with some pretty impressive people in those roles. In prior roles, in terms of dollar value the relative responsibility was much higher for me then versus now, and much higher for more senior folks then versus partners now. In those roles, executives were reaponsive to everyone, lower level personnel and senior personnel would get the same treatment. If they could respond immediately they would, if they needed time to think, theyd quickly respond saying so, and then respond with appropriate detail. If they couldnt make a meeting, were OOO, etc., you'd know.

Here, I'll find out a partner is OOO after the fact, will showup for meetings, wait 5-10 min before emailing or texting the partner asking if theyre coming...may not hear back. Can email drafts well in advance of filing deadlines, often in advance of internal deadlines. Have filed papers without partner feedback, maybe there thinking filings can be amended if theres an issue.

In drafts, Ill add specific comments after researching, when arguements could go in different directions, or if the client file has gaps (after requesting info from clients). Ill repeat the comments in the email with the draft attached. The comments are very specific and cite relevant authority. I show thought process, Ill make alternate arguments. Comments and alternate arguements seemingly ignored, feedback at times suggest looking at a body of law i reference in those comments.

I understand that theres a hierarchy, and im now at the bottom. I probably overcommunicate to a small degree, mostly as a CYA. Communication back is aweful, especially when some partners have suggested that I need exceed expectations, go above and beyond on assignments, and somehow do something they expect, but never communicate.

The dynamic seems unprofessional, and inconsiderate, especially when Ill proceed given immenent deadlines, find out at the 11th hour I was off base on something, scramble to revise, and a good chunk of those hours get no-charged.