u/kaiqeesa

Good evening, I’m an ENFJ 8w7 and I’d like to know if any of you other e8s identify with me as well. While I struggle with anger issues and enjoy listening to loud, noisy music, I also see myself as a mathematical genius who can see far into the future. I’m very good at chess, but I’m not just a nerd either, because I’m the arm-wrestling champion in my community. I look at people and automatically make them sense my aura of superiority, causing them to admire my presence. I’m always three steps away from my enemies. I’d like to hear your opinions, even though I know that no matter what you say, it won’t be as good as my own words, but since I’m fair, I’d like to give you this opportunity to express yourselves.

I have absolutely no idea if there’s any contradiction between the Enneagram and the temperaments, but I’d like to hear your thoughts on a pure melancholic SX4. I’d say I don’t see any contradictions, especially since the SX4 is emotion-intellect-intellect.

Hi, I’d like to figure out if I’m more of an SP4 or an SO7. I know these two types might not have much in common, but I see a lot of myself in both, and i can also totally relate to SP4 characters.

I’ll start by describing myself. I think of my childhood as a time when I was alone for quite a while. I feel like my parents were very overprotective—they wanted to protect me at all costs and wouldn’t let me leave the house, but I really liked going out. When I ask my parents what I was like as a child, they always laugh and say I was an extremely well-behaved and kind child—which doesn’t seem true to me, because I only remember behaving well in places where I expected some kind of approval, like at school or outside the house around strangers. I feel that in those environments, like at school, I cared too much about the image I projected. I was smart—very smart—and I liked that. The other kids recognized it, but I didn’t like to stand out too much, because I knew that if I did, I’d make other kids feel smaller and less intelligent than me.

I feel like I really had a huge capacity for empathy, I spent recess alone; maybe I even acted a little weird—I used to walk in circles around the school. I remember one time when another kid spat in my face; we worked it out in the principal’s office, and he said it was because it was annoying to see me walking in circles. The next day, I was at recess, in my usual spot, eating a snack; he was sitting there watching. Other people came over, and I offered them my snack. I saw that he was watching, so I went over to him and offered him the snack. We didn’t become friends, but I feel like I earned his respect—I like that. I was also bullied at school, but I managed to win over some people who were stronger than me, and they protected me from those bullies, which put an end to the bullying.

Another great memory I have from school was a time during recess when I got caught up in a huge scuffle. After it was over, the principal came to my classroom looking for those involved. My classmate was taken away, and he pointed at me, saying I was there too. The entire class—and even the teacher—stood up to defend me right then and there, because to them it was impossible that someone as nice, well-behaved, and kind as I was could have been part of that. The truth was, he was right— I did take part in the commotion, but since I had a reputation for being spotless and respectful, people defended me and assumed it would be impossible for me to be involved.

I also remember other moments at school, like the time during one of the school activities when I was the last one to finish; I remember that really frustrated me.

At home, I could be quite a troublemaker; my parents punished me a lot for that and demanded that I behave myself.

Well, what makes me think I might be an SP4 is that I see myself having the same melancholy as that type—that sadness—but not a sadness that’s conveyed to others. It’s a sadness where you drown in self-sacrifice for others; you accept giving up your preferences, things that are very important to you, feeling that someone else deserves more than you do, and you feel that—there’s a certain sense of inferiority that you compensate for by sacrificing yourself for others, giving them what you wanted most.

For example, I remember once in elementary school, there was a girl I’d liked for a long time; we were pretty close friends, and there was this other friend who, at some point, started liking her too, I feel that instead of wanting to compete or reveal how I felt about her first, I drowned in the feeling that it was better to support him—them—because they would get along really well, and unlike him, I didn’t want to expose myself to any kind of risk associated with intimacy. I believe the love I felt for her was much more idealized than anything real; what he felt was more real.

What makes me think of So7 is that in all my friendships, my only role was to save the other person—in the literal sense. I only got close to people I sensed needed support, but my support was far from affectionate; it was more of a structural support. I understood what the other person was feeling and rationalized everything so that they could understand it too, give meaning to their pain, and make that person feel validated. In the end, I’d end up being seen by that person as a self-sacrificing figure—someone who suffered a lot but didn’t let it show, who focused only on the suffering of others. I’ve even been compared to other self-sacrificing characters in this same sense by these friends, like Takemichi from the anime "Tokyo Revengers" (who goes back in time several times just to save everyone who was important to him)

and Theodore Finch from the movie "All the Bright Places" (Despite all the suffering he was going through, he chose to focus entirely on someone else’s suffering and save her, while completely neglecting himself) but the point is that in all my friendships, I was seen as some kind of saint, but I feel like that’s a sham, because I felt like all my relationships had to be based solely on that, I had no interest in intimacy; my only interest was in solving the other person’s problems. I’ve abruptly abandoned several people when, at some point, I was no longer useful to them, or when I felt replaced by someone else who was much more valuable—perhaps that was my form of revenge.

I had a friend who, by the way, told me I was totally fake—that I didn’t really care at all about her problems, that I only knew how to say pretty words and pretend I understood. She said this because I had distanced myself for a while, not knowing how to deal with intimacy and closeness, preferring to keep my distance from people in that regard.

Anyway, which of these two do you think I fall into? Or is there another one, if you have a better suggestion?

​Kinesthetic hallucination of reality, cold, very cold, at this exact moment I feel frozen, my body is what transmits all this indescribable sensation, my body says nothing.

I cannot help but observe myself consciously, I cannot help but perceive my thoughts, perceive everything and believe that I assemble the reality I see, it is difficult to separate myself from all this, it is real but still not right, besides confusing.

It is a sensation that does not say, you keep trying to understand, but it does not go beyond that.

Could this be death? We do not understand it beyond the sensation we have of it, death is like the cold, it keeps taking your body away, it keeps weighing it down, it is like feeling that you become smaller, but it is an embrace, an embrace that although cold, is warm, difficult to understand, like all things, which remain meaningless, swirling around, in all constellations, I have never shared this chance with anyone, but here I sit in the same place where I imagined having you, but having is cruel, I did not know that, that is why I lost you, it is acceptable.

I do not feel anguish, I feel a tiredness that cannot be understood beyond words, it is a tiredness of hyper-rationalization, of exacerbated consciousness, this mind does not stop.

It is like feeling alone, for being alone.

There is no other layer, beyond repetition, perceiving how everything renews itself but not with the same feeling, only the nostalgia for everything that once was, life passes and everything is exacerbated, memories are nothing but emphasizing, life is a leap, in all its lines, everything ends in the exact same way, and even if different, nothing truly changes.

Death will never be something sad, whether yours or someone else's, death is just a new beginning, through some other form, there is no end.

No, the end is just a construction of ourselves, we begin and we end in this time, at what time did your version end, and at what time did your other one begin?

How many baths do you still need to wash all this past away?

To wash and let go, with the hick water, directed to a flow that empties only at that point, the exact point where everything is destroyed, and dies.

It is at this point that everything restarts, it is life, everything that I do not understand, and never will understand, I never had it within my reach, holding it was always too much for me, it is like a masquerade ball, in which at no moment did I think of removing mine, bexause underneath, there was none.

Existence comes a prior to essence, I am this existence, and only.

Because nothing beyond that do I perceive myself being, there are no words, there are no feelings, there are no resentments, there are no tendernesses, there is understanding, and passive acceptance.

This is the reality I see, and this is the world I live in, I have already seen several conversations occur in the exact known way, I have already seen people die in life in so many ways, and it was always the same way, at some point the life they knew became another, but it's okay, because in the end they always find some point of comfort.

There is no intimacy, intimacy only belongs to those who can forget, forgetting is the point of all connection, to know is to inhabit, but to forget, is to connect, because by forgetting, you enjoy the sensation that cannot be explained but only felt. It is stepping with the first steps, it is gripping with the first vital signs of strength, it is feeling the first message of affection, it is inhabiting, feeling, living, truly living, it is forgetting, because only by frgetting does one live, and for those who cannot forget themselves, all that remains is this eternal uninhabitaion, comforting, a void without words, not even the body emits a sound, it is all restricted to complete silence, it is all conceptual, but nothing truly says anything, being at this exact point, the point where life does not ask to be, nor to belong, it simply leaves you there, at that exact point.

A distrust related to my ability to trust other people—I know this might fall under ESI because of its Fi- , but I don’t think I judge other people’s moral and ethical character; I hardly ever think about people, and I don’t define my close relationships—in the sense of family, friends or something else... I simply feel the connection, and I don’t want to make it real with the person because I feel a huge distrust toward that; I feel that I seek consistency in them above all else, and I offer people my ability to help them get to know themselves, to share knowledge, I can offer insight in various ways across many areas; I'm good at understanding the essence of things—but always relationships based on useful exchanges; casual relationships are very difficult for me, and it’s even harder to deepen them. I can’t handle intimacy or ambiguity—especially emotional ambiguity—when I have that gut feeling that I’ve said something potentially wrong that might push people away from me, and they don’t tell me directly (I think about this and consciously observe myself in this regard). I’m vigilant in this regard; I prefer to maintain a certain superficial emotional connection with people, precisely because of this fear—so as not to interfere with the emotional atmosphere or with them—but I also don’t want to be alone, so I need to be good at impressing them, so that they’ll need me and my skills. Which block do you think this description would fall under?

Thank you in advance for your help; I'd like to hear your thoughts.

Eu não sei se eu tenho me tornado mais maduro ou só mais resignado. Eu acredito que a vida é deixar ir, entender que tudo vai partir em algum momento. O problema é que sinto que eu sou a causa disso. Recentemente perdi uma amizade muito importante. O motivo foi que eu me sentia substituído por essa pessoa e sentia que já não tinha valor nenhum para ela, e acho que não conseguia mais enxergar sentido em nosso vínculo; então, eu decidi deixar tudo para lá e só terminar tudo de uma vez.

​Eu me sinto bem, realmente. Ou talvez não, porque quando eu saio para algum lugar público, eu me pego sentindo a dor disso tudo. Acho que porque não existem distrações e acabo sendo confrontado por isso, aí surge aquela vontade de se jogar de algum lugar, algo meio exagerado, mas ainda real. Mas, no final disso tudo, eu só choro mesmo. Eu me lembro que a melancolia é definida como um luto interminável que não segue suas fases, e acho que eu me sinto dessa forma. Não só com essa amizade, acho que ela foi o gatilho, mas tem tanta coisa que eu perdi e queria poder ter de volta. Parece que estar no mundo se torna algo mais extenuante quando você vive o peso de tantas coisas que perdeu ou deixou irem. E eu entendo a percepção de fluxo natural no Tao e o não-apego no budismo, mas parece que nenhuma espiritualidade ou filosofia consegue me livrar desse sentimento que não vai embora.

​Eu me lembro de ter visto uma trecho de um livro que encarna bem essa percepção:

​"Entendendo que o tempo sempre leva as nossas coisas preferidas no mundo e nos esquece aqui olhando pra vida sem elas - O peso do pássaro morto / Aline Bei"

​Não me arrependo das coisas terminarem da forma que terminaram, não voltaria atrás em minhas escolhas. Sempre me escolhi e vou continuar me escolhendo, mas é só angustiante. Não consigo sentir nenhum traço de conexão com as pessoas ou com o mundo, e tudo isso só tem me feito mais cansado, de uma forma em que me sinto cada vez menos motivado em existir. Não tenho motivações que não seja a de me distrair e, quando percebo, noto a distância que criei das outras pessoas. Consigo sentir pouco, muito pouco, e também me sinto culpado e angustiado por isso. É como se algo estivesse errado, porque realmente está, mas não consigo consertar esse erro, muito menos entendê-lo, e no cerne disso tudo, eu sinto que entendo. E, justamente por entender, eu me sinto terrível por não conseguir mudar, fazer uma outra decisão além da que eu sempre tomo: a decisão de me afastar, de me enganar. Eu não sei.

​Acho que, lá no fundo, eu sinto que preciso que as pessoas precisem de mim, para que eu possa ser útil, e então, em algum momento, elas vão deixar de precisar de mim e eu já não vou ter nenhum outro papel. Acho que é sempre assim. Não existe nenhum tipo de valor além do que eu posso prover ao outro. Eu sinto que todas as pessoas que conheci só podiam me amar por isso, mas nunca de verdade poderiam ver além disso, poderiam me ver e me amar por isso, porque eu nunca teria tanto valor como os outros. E acho que sentir que essa outra pessoa não precisa mais de meus cuidados também é sentir que não existe mais nada entre a gente, porque, se eu não posso cuidar dela, então não tem mais nada que eu possa dar a ela, e muito menos há algo que ela possa encontrar em mim. Daí surge o vazio, daí surge a insatisfação na relação, e o sentimento de egoismo, porque, lá no fundo, eu me angustio muito em saber que a minha relação com o outro é baseada na minha percepção egoica. Me considero ainda mais desprezível por isso, por não conseguir enxergar as pessoas de verdade, como usar o outro apenas como um meio à sua autopercepção. Sinto que terminar a relação é uma dadiva que posso e devo conceder ao outro, para o mesmo não ter de permanecer preso a um parasita, que so sugaria toda sua vitalidade.

​Mas, além disso tudo, ainda existem as memórias, e elas me dizem o quanto tudo foi incrível. E eu também acredito que também tenha sido para o outro, mas memórias são só memórias e, ao mesmo tempo, também são tudo. Tudo o que resta: lembranças e recordações de tudo o que já não pode mais ser alcançado. Medir o peso de uma ausência é entender como viver sem o que te fazia mais ser você mesmo. Aí você se constrói nisso, em toda essa impermanência, ao mesmo tempo em que tenta se agarrar a algo que não mude, alguma coisa estatica, que permaneça a mesma, mesmo sabendo que isso vai mudar, ainda é difícil aceitar.

I was a playful child, but lonely. My parents didn't like me going out, so I only had my siblings, a friend I met because he lived next door, and another friend who lived in the lower part of the neighborhood. I think childhood itself was a period of immersion, perhaps in solitude. I liked doing things like flying kites, playing on the computer, and playing with my siblings and some of the other children my mother looked after as a babysitter. I feel that perhaps I was a jealous child, I think mainly because of my cousin, because my mother was always comparing me to him, saying how much better behaved he was and how he obeyed; I should be more like him. I liked my cousin, but he could be very aggressive and competitive; he always wanted to be the one directing the games, and when he couldn't, he would get aggressive. My older cousin told me not to mind him; maybe he was right, and I did that.

​Within my family, I was perhaps the loneliest, because my brother, although very reclusive, was still very attached to my mother. I was always more of an observer, and I actually quite like that. I also came to feel jealous because my mother treated my younger brother better than me, but I don't think it was anything so intense—perhaps just acceptance. In general, I was a lonely child, but messy and quite chaotic every now and then, even though my parents always preferred to say I was a very quiet and well-behaved child. They had very high standards of behavior.

​Growing up, the events that marked me the most were the exposure to early hypersexualization by my parents, my mother’s unstable mental state, and the guilt and burdens my father placed on me as a child and the bullying suffered at school, along with racism and feelings of inferiority. I was very quiet, which was why they could confront me. I cried a lot at first, but later I learned not to care, and they went away, Later, I formed an alliance with other kids, and that put a stop to the bullying, thanks to my influence. At school, some children saw me as intelligent, well-behaved, and quiet, while others saw me as a troublemaker, perhaps because I felt a certain freedom when I was younger. Later, my father came to the school, and I remember this event when he appeared at the door and intimidated me because he didn't want me to misbehave; I soon began to fear the situation repeating itself and turned my attention to being well-behaved, because my father intimidated me with his whole demeanor and aggressiveness.

​I remember another situation at school where, in a guessing game, I became very frustrated and sad, even crying, because everyone else figured out what to do and only I was left without having finished the activity, I didn't like feeling inferior in that situation; I remember I was always afraid of being the last one to finish the tasks. Another great moment I remember was in a guessing game when I got all the states of Brazil right without having studied, just memorizing them in the moment in class; it was great to see people praising me and wanting to know how I did it, I think I've always liked the feeling of being admired by others.

​Passing from this period of childhood, at the age of 12, I remember that when it came to my father, I became more aggressive and confrontational, and I stopped being afraid of him—I felt stronger. In fact, I believe that ever since I was little, I always stood up to him, but I was still afraid of him. However, as I grew up, that fear faded, and little by little I showed him that he wouldn’t be able to control me. I also remember at that age having my first big crush, which was on a person who had similar interests to mine, and we talked a lot. She was good at starting conversations, and I liked that. I never made my feelings for her clear; I lived them in silence, and the moments themselves were enough to express that. Perhaps I expected her to recognize it. What happened was that she started dating someone, and we stopped talking; she had other focuses. We spoke other times, but only briefly and superficially. I still didn't express what I felt; perhaps that was what followed me in the coming years. She asked me why I was distancing myself—perhaps it was the unrequited feeling and the feeling of having lost my place in the bond, the need to be the only object of attraction for the other, or perhaps to be chosen, to have my feelings recognized without having to talk about them. But the great differences that existed between us and the lack of self-awareness and maturity in me at the time inevitably separated us.

​After that, my life became a confusion, perhaps due to feelings I never really understood or expressed, and even when I tried, I didn't understand them for sure because they still persisted. Perhaps understanding wasn't enough, and as long as you truly felt them, they wouldn't go away. Or perhaps a greater focus on my own life was something that would help, and that’s what I did. I spent the next two years studying hard—a study routine from day to night, understanding and understanding many things with a special focus on philosophy and psychology, themes which I interpreted as the solution to what I was feeling.

​I have even been in another romantic bond, but I gave it up when I realized that being reciprocal made the experience less interesting. Perhaps what I was looking for was rejection. But where did this rejection begin? In childhood? Was it the lack of care from my caregivers, or the affection I didn't feel I received, or the attention they demanded at the same time it came with aggression and pressure? Perhaps. What I need to understand is where the first contact in childhood with the search for rejection arose.

​Later, at the age of 15, I recreated the experience of rejection again. I was in a group with several friends, a time when I could have been more social, more involved in the social atmosphere, free again, and more open about myself to others. It was a time when I got close to several people, and one of them I got closer to—someone I remember as being lively, again like in my first crush, someone who was open about themselves, who was easy to approach and interact with. With her, I felt unique, I felt exclusive, but I also felt rejected, unappreciated, and it was something I sought. I remember her telling me that for her, I wasn't even her second preference for friendship—something said sarcastically as a non-offensive joke. I didn't take it badly; on the contrary, it was something that made me want to get closer to her in a more intimate way, because of the feeling of being rejected, seeking that again. It’s like wanting to have something you can't have, and so you create the same weight of absence and discouragement, of not being chosen.

​It happened again that my way of expressing my love, my affection, was through unspoken words, through my presence, and by making the other unique and being totally focused on them—and I expected her to recognize this, as my presence is my greatest form of affection. Again: unspoken words, unexpressed feelings which I could have expressed, but the refusal to express any drop of feeling led to the breaking of reality. When she felt the same for someone else, I again defended myself by distancing myself and disappearing completely. I fled the social circle, just as I fled from her and all the others.

​It was once again a time of solitude and feelings that haunted me. Around that time, I remember I had a friend who once asked me if, in a certain context, I preferred her to treat me well or badly. I told her I preferred to be treated badly. She asked why, and I said I preferred to be hated than loved. The reality is that it is much easier to be hated than loved, because it is easy to live in hate—to hate people and be hated back. Loving requires loving back, and there is nothing more difficult than expressing what you feel.

​But returning to today, I understand that these events repeated themselves through idealization and devaluation. I don't know for sure if there is a traumatic relationship, but there is always the passion for refusal. This pattern repeated itself one other time, but one in which I recognized it and broke with it, learning to face the discomfort and not disappear into it. Now I have gone through a situation that would remind me of those same ones, but it didn't happen, because I didn't treat the other as an object of admiration related to the bond—which is seen by me as an image that is also part of that bond, but is not extracted outside of it as a subject. Now I understand. I still feel pain in keeping my distance, but I understand with better clarity the weight of discomfort and of not idealizing, even though I am still stuck in the discomfort of not being chosen by the other, even if I see them as human.

But I realize that I’ve become much more self-aware when it comes to relationships, I think I’ve always put myself first, and I like that, because I’ve never put myself in situations where I’ve been humiliated by other people.

With all that said, I’d like to hear your thoughts on my subtype. Thanks in advance for your help.

Is there any correlation between the idea that the hidden agenda function might cause someone to misidentify their type and believe it to be the type of the element present in their hidden agenda function?

For example, it often happens that ESI characters are typed as ILI even though they don’t value Ni at a 4D level, I’ve also seen many SEIs being typed as LII—for example, Patrick Star, who is a fairly obvious SEI but considered by many to be LII. I’ve also seen other characters like Mob Kageyama, who is an ILI, being typed as an EII. I was wondering if all of this could be related to the hidden agenda? I had this thought and would like to understand it.

I have a tendency to undervalue people, especially in romantic relationships. For example, I’ve noticed that when I trust someone, I start to devote myself entirely to that person, making them feel seen, encouraged, loved, and appreciated. I listen and try to be as accepting as possible, but I realized I had a certain pattern of behavior where I only get close to and take an interest in people who reject me—independent, self-sufficient people—as if my passion were fueled by the experience of being rejected. And when that happens, I don’t act aggressively toward that person, but I tend to devalue them internally and maintain a certain facade of moral/ethical superiority, projecting negative traits onto them, so that I can emotionally detach from the relationship and feel independent of that person and self-sufficient without needing a bond; I kind of create this idea that “I don’t need anyone, I don’t need to be in a relationship.” In relationships, I tend to act in a passive-aggressive way and become distant, disappear, or walk away from the bond. It has happened many times that I’ve vanished and abandoned people when I felt my presence wasn’t worth as much in that place anymore, but I end up deeply regretting it later, and I also put myself down, as if it were my fault for not being good enough to stop it. Outside of relationships, I don’t consider myself a very competent person— maybe even more impulsive than competent, which makes me lean more toward SX4 because I’m very impulsive, and I’ve seen descriptions saying that SP4 is anti-confrontational, and I feel very confrontational, especially when I need to defend my ideals or defend people who are important to me. I don’t identify with the part of SX4 about expressing one’s emotions out loud; for me it’s more like an internal process that I turn into resentment. I’ve realized I can be quite impatient with people when I’m feeling down or hurt by something—sometimes even aggressive—but in general I tend to be much more cheerful and enthusiastic with my family, even when I’m distant from them. My mood is very volatile; it’s always changing. People have told me I can’t make up my mind about what I feel, but I don’t identify with the descriptions of SX4 as literally a psychopath who destroys a person’s life if their feelings aren’t validated. I’ve hidden my feelings from most people, precisely because I didn’t want them meddling in my personal life, and also out of pride—I can’t allow myself that freedom. I really do feel irritated a good portion of the time, but it’s something internal, and I very rarely express it toward other people—unless they deserve it. My stance is directed at those who do deserve it. I remember once saying something to a friend that makes me think I’m an SX4. It went like this:

She asked me if I’d rather she treat me well or badly, so I said badly. She asked me why? And I said it was because it’s easier to be hated than loved, in the sense that when you’re hated, you just have to return resentment, bitterness, and defensiveness, whereas when you’re loved, you become vulnerable to others, and you have to give something back, which is hard—giving affection is hard. I don’t trust people at all when it comes to that, so it’s much easier to be hated by others and live that way.

I ruined a bunch of relationships by losing trust in people, for example, it annoys me when people don’t follow through on their words—people who say they’re one thing and then turn out to be something else. It’s confusing to deal with that. Another thing I find annoying are passive-aggressive people who don’t express themselves for fear of upsetting others and try to create or manipulate situations to avoid confronting what they want to say—that’s what annoys me the most. I'm not sensitive, and I don't mind harsh words; I'd rather someone be direct than passive-aggressive. I believe that when a person acts in this passive-aggressive way, it’s enough to make me decide to abandon them. There’s no difficulty in not being passive-aggressive—just say what you think about something, and I don’t care if it affects me; I just know we’ll work it out. I hate people who are many things at once—I don’t like them one bit. It’s confusing, and it’s impossible to feel secure around people who aren’t clear about who they are.

I was interested in exploring intertype styles in Socionics and maybe getting your suggestions on which type I’d fit into best. So, I have a friend who’s an ILE; I think she’s really cool, but I’m not quite sure what to make of her.

I usually don’t care at all about giving deep meaning to my relationships. I used to have an LSI friend who always asked me what I thought of our friendship. That was hard and uncomfortable to answer because it was annoying. We ended up drifting apart, and she said I didn’t care at all about our friendship and was just pretending to care, and I really do have this feeling that I was putting on a show the whole time, but I did like our friendship—I just didn’t think about it much.

I like to talk to people from time to time and keep enough emotional distance from them. I also had an EII friend; I think our friendship was more understanding because she understood that I needed space. We’d talk every now and then, which was great because I didn’t have any worries, but we drifted apart too because it started to become something very intimate and uncomfortable because I started getting involved in this EII’s emotional life. I tried to help, but it was consuming me, so I ran away from that bond too.

But going back to ILE, I have a routine with her where we always talk every day. I feel kind of bad because I always have the feeling that I’m trying to run away from the bond. I think she’s cool and all, but I need to be self-sufficient without needing anyone. I have this feeling that now is the best time, since she’s in love with someone, which is great because her focus is on that person, so I can slowly fade out of the relationship, and then when the time comes that she doesn’t care anymore and breaks that routine in the relationship, I think it’s better that way.

I’ve been thinking for a while about the best way to distance myself without making her feel guilty. I believe this is the best approach because it makes it seem like the relationship ended naturally. I’ve also been staying off social media more so she doesn’t have to think about talking to me, I know i'm acting just like a jerk, but I feel like I don’t have what it takes to be in a friendship; I feel more fragile and worse, which makes me feel awful and weak.

In my last romantic relationship, I think my ex-girlfriend was either SEE or maybe IEE, but I believe she was SEE. The impression she had of me when she met me was that I was a loner. She also thought it was strange that I walked to school every day when I could have taken the bus, but I preferred to walk because I like walking, and I don’t like the crowded atmosphere on a bus. But getting to the point, we broke up. I’m not exactly sure why, but I broke up with her because there were some things that bothered me about our relationship, and just ending it and not having to say anything seemed easier.

After that, people asked me if I was okay with it, which was weird because I didn’t feel sad—it was more annoying that they wanted to know how I was feeling, but anyway, I don’t know what else to say.

The types that have been romantically attracted to me are: IEE, SEE, SEI, SLI.

I don’t know if this helps at all, but I hope it does. Anyway:

What do you think my socionics type is, based on my inter-type relationships and the way I described myself in them?