u/kajukatli011

Title: My boyfriend (23M) says he's only with me (21F) because neither of us has anyone else.

We've been dating for around 16-17 months. Like most relationships, we've had our fair share of ups and downs. We've had arguments, misunderstandings, and even moments where it felt like things might end. But every single time, we'd talk, apologize where needed, work through the issues, and decide to stay together because we believed our relationship was worth fighting for.

The problem is that today he told me something that completely broke my heart. He said he's only with me because neither of us has anyone else, and that he's not happy in this relationship.

The thing is, this isn't the first time. He's said this around 5-6 times over the course of our relationship. Every time, after things calm down, we somehow reconcile and continue as if everything is okay. Sometimes he acts loving again, tells me he loves me, spends time with me, and makes plans for the future. That's what confuses me. His actions and his words don't always match.

I always try to understand his perspective. I know relationships aren't perfect, and I know people can say hurtful things when they're frustrated or overwhelmed. But after hearing the same thing multiple times, I'm starting to wonder if I should finally take his words at face value instead of assuming it's just anger talking.

I genuinely love him, and I've put a lot of effort into making this relationship work. I've tried changing things that bothered him, improving communication, and being patient whenever we've had issues. I know I'm not perfect either, and I've made mistakes too, but I've always been willing to work on them.

At this point, I'm emotionally exhausted and confused. I don't know whether he's staying because he truly loves me but is struggling, or because he's afraid of being alone. And honestly, I don't want to be someone's "better than nothing" option.

Has anyone been in a relationship where their partner repeatedly said they weren't happy or that they were only staying because they had no one else? Did things actually improve, or was it a sign that the relationship had already run its course?

I'm looking for honest advice, even if it's difficult to hear. I want to understand whether this is something that can realistically be worked through, or whether I'm holding on to something that's already over.

My boyfriend (23M) gets irritated way too easily without any reason. I'm 22F, and honestly, I'm starting to wonder if I'm the problem.

It feels like no matter what I do, it's never enough. I've spent so much time trying to create a healthy, calm environment for him where he feels safe, supported, and understood. I've ignored my own hurt feelings, kept things to myself, avoided arguments, and tried to be patient even when I wanted to express what was bothering me.

Whenever he's stressed, I try to be understanding. When he's upset, I try to give him space. When he's distant, I try not to take it personally. I've genuinely put effort into making this relationship feel like a safe place for both of us. But somehow, it feels like he's always irritated with me, disappointed in me, or unhappy with something I'm doing.

The hardest part is that I don't even know what I'm doing wrong. Sometimes it feels like I have to carefully think before saying anything because even normal conversations can end with him being annoyed. I find myself constantly adjusting my behavior, my tone, my expectations, and even my emotions just to avoid upsetting him.

I've started questioning myself more than I ever used to. Maybe I'm too sensitive. Maybe I ask for too much. Maybe I'm not understanding enough. But then I look at everything I've been doing and wonder why I'm the only one carrying the responsibility of keeping things okay.

I love him deeply, and that's why I've stayed patient for so long. I see the good in him, and I know he has his own struggles. But loving someone shouldn't mean constantly walking on eggshells around them. It shouldn't mean suppressing your feelings so the other person can be comfortable. It shouldn't mean feeling responsible for another person's mood every single day.

What hurts the most is that I don't need grand gestures from him. I don't need perfection. I just want to feel like we're on the same team. I want to feel appreciated for the effort I put in. I want to feel heard when something hurts me. I want to feel loved without constantly wondering whether I've done something wrong.

At this point, I'm not even asking if he's a bad person. I'm just asking whether a relationship can survive when one person is always trying to fix things and the other person seems irritated no matter how much love, patience, and understanding they're given.

TL;DR: My boyfriend gets irritated with me very easily, and despite constantly trying to create a safe, supportive, and stress-free environment for him, he often seems unhappy with me. I've been suppressing my own feelings, avoiding conflict, and putting a lot of effort into keeping the relationship healthy, but I'm starting to feel exhausted and question whether I'm the problem or if I'm carrying too much of the emotional responsibility alone.

I'm 22f I'm in a relationship with 23m n I'm thinking of having sex, idk I'm just scared of getting pregnant or like idk I'm just kinda scared what if our first time sucks!!!

please help me out with this

I'm literally bored sm

I'm just bored, suggest something to do

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I’m 21F and he’s 22M. We dated for around 14–15 months, broke up once, got back together, and now I genuinely don’t know if this relationship is fixable or just emotionally unhealthy.

At first, when he broke up with me, he said it was because I’m Muslim and his parents would never accept me. That already hurt deeply, but I tried to understand it logically. I thought maybe he was being realistic about family pressure.

Later, he changed the reason completely. He said he felt suffocated with me, that the relationship was “too much,” and that he had zero feelings for me. Hearing that shattered me.

For context, there was one incident that caused a lot of damage between us. One night I was drunk and ended up calling my ex (the one before him). He didn’t pick up, but I also texted him asking why he left me because I never got proper closure from that relationship. I even mentioned my current boyfriend during those texts.

I know that was wrong. I fully admit that. I apologized sincerely and took accountability for it.

But after that, things became extremely messy. My boyfriend started calling it “micro-cheating” and told his friends I was a cheater before even properly understanding the situation. He also told people I only cared about sex and made me feel humiliated.

At one point, he himself said he didn’t want to be with me anymore. So when I told others that he broke up with me, he later claimed he “didn’t mean it.” That confused me emotionally because I genuinely didn’t know what was real anymore.

I cried, begged, apologized repeatedly, and honestly lost myself trying to fix things.

Eventually he came back.

But even after getting back together, he kept bringing up the drunk-call incident almost every single day. No matter what I did, it never felt enough. He constantly said:

\- I never loved him

\- I never cared about him

\- I didn’t do enough for him

And that hurt because I genuinely tried. I adjusted my schedule for him, prioritized him, and cared deeply about him.

Another thing that has been affecting me emotionally is physical intimacy and boundaries. He often asks me for nudes, and most of the time I do send them because I love him and I want him to feel wanted. But on days when I genuinely don’t feel comfortable or don’t feel like sending anything, he gets frustrated and starts saying things like “you’re not physically attracted to me” or making me feel guilty for saying no.

That honestly confuses me because I am attracted to him and I really do love him. But sometimes I feel emotionally pressured instead of emotionally safe. I don’t think love should mean constantly proving attraction on demand.

He also believes sex is the “bare minimum” in a relationship. I’m 21 and I don’t think physical intimacy should be treated like proof of love or obligation. I need emotional safety too.

Then recently, things got even more confusing.

When I asked him why he once said he had no feelings for me, he admitted he said that just so I would stop calling him repeatedly after the breakup. He also said I’m “the best girl.”

Then he admitted the religion reason wasn’t fully true either. He literally told me:

“I lied about my family not accepting you. I just wanted to escape. The reality is I didn’t have feelings.”

He has also compared me to other girls before and said they’re “better” and would “love him completely.”

After around 1–2 months of no contact, he approached me again. We started talking normally, and during those conversations we both felt maybe the issues we had weren’t impossible to solve. It felt like maybe we should try fixing things instead of running away.

So now we’re dating again.

But looking back, I realize he often judged people, mocked others, rarely took accountability, and made me feel like I was always the problem or never enough.

What hurts even more is that despite saying he loves me, he also keeps telling me to “leave him” almost every day during fights or emotional conversations. And I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore because a part of me still wants to give this relationship a real chance and hopes we can fix things instead of hurting each other constantly.

I honestly don’t know anymore:

\- Am I naive for giving this another chance?

\- Is this relationship emotionally toxic?

\- Am I overreacting?

\- Is he emotionally manipulative or am I just too attached?

I still care about him deeply, but I also feel emotionally drained and scared.

I don’t want constant fights, emotional punishment, or to feel like I’m walking on eggshells all the time. I just want a relationship that feels safe, comforting, stable, and healthy.

What should I realistically be doing differently this time? Or is this relationship already too unhealthy to save?

TL;DR:

My boyfriend (22M) and I (21F) dated for 14–15 months, broke up, and got back together, but the relationship still feels emotionally exhausting. After I drunkenly contacted my ex once and apologized, he kept calling me a cheater, bringing it up constantly, comparing me to other girls, and making me feel like I’m never enough.

He also pressures me emotionally around physical intimacy — if I don’t send nudes or don’t feel comfortable, he questions my attraction toward him. He often tells me to “leave him,” gives mixed signals about loving me, and has admitted he lied before just to push me away.

I still love him and want things to work, but I feel drained, anxious, and emotionally unsafe. I don’t know if this relationship is fixable or just unhealthy at this point.

I really need some outside perspective on my relationship because things have gotten incredibly messy and I feel like I'm suffocating.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 14–15 months. Back in November, he broke up with me. He told me he wasn’t feeling loved, that everything was "too much," and that he felt strangled being with me. After some time apart, he came back, and for a while, things seemed okay.

However, for the past 1–2 weeks, we have been fighting like cats and dogs. It’s gotten incredibly bad, and honestly, the relationship feels strangulating for both of us right now.

Whenever I try to bring up how messy things are getting *now*, he immediately throws my past mistakes in my face. A while ago, I drunk-called my ex. My boyfriend considers this "micro-cheating" and has called me a cheater because of it.

On top of that, he brings up how I handled things afterward. He says his main issue isn't just the phone call, but yhe fact of me not understanding him n because things were very messy at that time he just saw few texts in my phone n consider those texts as cheating..so in order to clear that i had to explain my side.

I know I made mistakes in how I reacted and handled things in the past, but he is completely blocking out everything I am going through right now. He just keeps bringing up the same past issues over and over and over again instead of dealing with our current problems.

I feel trapped in this cycle. How do I get him to understand my perspective, or is this a sign that the relationship is completely broken?

**TL;DR:** Dating 15 months, broke up once in November because BF felt suffocated. Got back together, but now we are fighting constantly. Every time I try to talk about our current issues, he throws my past mistakes (drunk-calling an ex and venting to his friends) in my face. He calls it micro-cheating and won't move past it. What do I do?