u/katsquatch69

(In Colorado)
I blew twice the legal limit and my DMV hearing is on Tuesday next week.
Since I blew twice, it’s mandatory that I either revoke my license for 9 months, or get an interlock for 2 years.
What are your guys’ experiences? In your opinion, which is more worth it?

I’m afraid I won’t be able to afford my car payment+SR-22+interlock. My city has a free shuttle that takes you about 5miles, so completely giving up my license wouldn’t be that hard, if it didn’t mean I had to quit my job. I love my current job right now and make decent money for the field (it’s still not enough to afford all this tho lol), but I’d have to uber there and back every day, which isn’t worth it. If I worked within where the shuttle could take me (I have plenty of job opportunities around here) losing my license for 9 months wouldn’t be toooo terrible. And I’d get it over with faster. Any advice is appreciated

I have always hated the “coping mechanisms” therapists have taught us. They are always the same things, so sterile or requiring effort that we don’t have. I have seen too many suicidal people on here lately so I wanted to state some of my coping mechanisms for when I feel very, very, low.
1. Look at baby pictures
** **Of yourself or a loved one. This can feel triggering. But you will be reminded of how precious life is.
2. Listen to happy music
I have made a playlist of songs that make me feel joy. Ironically, some of them are also on my funeral playlist. But the songs that make me feel happy are Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield (classic), Mr. Blue Sky by ELO, Temperature by Sean Paul, Right Back Where We Started From by Maxine Nightingale
3. Call/talk to Someone you love
I actually despise when I’m feeling depressed and someone says “you can always call me” because they don’t really mean it. They only say it in the moment. But, tonight I reached out to my cousin who I haven’t talked to in years. She made me feel a little bit more loved
4. Eat something that makes you happy
I cannot say this for everyone. I am an overeater or undereater, no in between. But eat your favorite food. For me, my favorite food is steak and potatoes, but I can’t always eat that. A food that makes me happy is Eggo waffles (because I don’t the time to make them homemade, otherwise I would) with whipped cream and precut fruit on the top. I always like to make the whipped cream+fruit into a smiley face. It really does help.
4. Sleep. Or be active
I understand that some of us sleep too much. If you are someone who sleeps too much I would recommend doing the opposite; go for a 10 minute walk (or whatever you can). I promise, you will feel just a little bit better. It may not help the emotions, but it’s better for you than laying in bed. If you cannot go on a walk, and you are feeling very suicidal, instead of acting on those impulses just go to bed. I have realized that when I am feeling very very down, I need to go to sleep. Even if I am crying myself to sleep, I often don’t want to die quite as much in the morning.

I have been struggling a lot lately. I just wanted to share these tips in hopes that it can help someone else.

I’ve been trying to join for years!

I got my DUI a month ago. I have struggled with alcohol/addiction in the past, but before the DUI I was sober for over a month. Then my boyfriend broke up with me, and I went to the bar, and got pulled over while I was leaving. I blew a .179, so I will have to be on probation for a longer time, and have an interlock for 2 years.
I am months away from graduating with my degree in criminal justice. I have had suicide attempts in the past, and recently I was doing so well, I went back to school and started getting sober. Then this happens. I won’t be able to get a job in the government (at least for a long time), I’m already broke from hiring the lawyer, and I haven’t even gone to trial or paid any fines yet.
I don’t know how I’m going to get through this, and all I want to do is drink to cope until my trial.
Edit to add location: Colorado

I have sexual trauma from my mother. She molested my brother and I (my brothers molestation was objectively worse and more criminal, but I watched it).
Since I was a child, I have always recoiled at any sort of touch. I flinch and get physically tense whenever someone tries to touch me, and I’ve been this way since I could remember. I recently saw a family photo of me when I was ~5yo and you could see the physical discomfort in me when my family members were trying to wrap their arms around me to take a family photo. Most pictures of me when I was a child are of me with my hands crossed over my chest or in a defensive position, and looking very obviously uncomfortable around my family. As an adult now, if I saw any of these behaviors in a child it would raise many red flags for me. But “it was a different time” back then.
Anyways, lately I have been having very vivid dreams about my father/other male figures in my life molesting/raping me. I am confused because I only have sexual trauma from my mother molesting me. I’m unsure if I am unconsciously shifting blame to men, such as an absent father, or if I actually have repressed sexual trauma with a male family member.

I know that none of the comments will be any sort of diagnosis, I’m just looking for some insight as to why my nightmares are about male family members doing things to me, very vividly; compared to the actual trauma I remember was committed by a woman.
Thank you!

TW
I (25F) have been hospitalized on and off since I was 12. My parents have a history of addiction, physical and sexual abuse (towards each other and me) and suicide attempts (one of my parents being successful). I was in a very traumatic relationship with a man twice my age who physically abused me and groomed me when I was 19. I have been out of that relationship for 2 years and I am ready to have companionship. And feel loved.

I have gone through years and years of therapy and inpatient treatments. I just got into a long term relationship. Yet, I still feel myself being triggered by things more often.
He is very responsive and understanding, but he brought up today how guarded I am, and how it is hard to have a relationship with someone who shuts down every time you have a hard conversation. I completely understands where he’s coming from, and I’m trying to do better. But once again,
I feel unlovable.
I don’t know what to do.