u/kegelation_nation

I never planned to stay in big law forever, but one year turned into four, and four years somehow turned into nine. It’s definitely time for me to exit. The current plan is to move to my home city next summer so my kids can be closer to family/I can help my sibling care for our aging parents. I’m starting to look into fully remote in house counsel positions. I think I’m done with law firm life and I’m wondering what else I could/should be considering. Maybe teaching? Curious to hear about alternative paths people have taken/considered after big law.

Posted yesterday about my 5 month old in the crap nap stage. We were working towards 2/2.5/2.5/3 as I was told this is what he needs (despite the fact that I’m fairly confident he needs/prefers at least 15 hours of total sleep). I’m back at work so I can’t contact nap anymore and our nanny is taking over so I figured may as well try it given it’s a transition phase. I remember this phase being tough with my first born as well so regardless we will continue to persevere.

All 3 naps today were 30 min, although my nanny was able to somewhat extend one nap by maybe 10-15 min. I was told that if I just stuck with it nap 3 would extend due to sleep pressure. That didn’t even come close to happening. I had to put baby down to bed an hour earlier than normal and he was up at the 15 min mark wailing. Took him 30 min of screaming to go back down and it’s been 15 min and he’s already up again screaming. He’s sleep trained for nights and is usually a champ about getting himself back to sleep. Anyway, I know it’s day one. I’m just pissy and not looking forward to slogging through this.

Any tips? I’m sure someone will tell me we did something wrong.

I’m pretty sure my second is high sleep needs or at least highish sleep needs. He’s 5 months old and wake windows are still just breaking 2 hours so our schedule ends up being something like 2/2/2/2.5. Goes to bed around 7-7:30 and wakes around 6-7 am. He’s usually up 1-2 times a night to eat, sometimes more. I’m trying to stretch his ww to help us out of the crap nap stage, but he likes thick 2-3 hour naps and anything short of that he’s melting down by the 1.75-2 hour mark. No, he is not just bored. Yes, I am aware his twt is low for his age.

He goes to sleep independently at night and I’ve just started to nap train. However, even if he falls asleep on his own for a nap he is still up at the 30 min mark and doesn’t put himself back to sleep (we give him 15 min the crib but I haven’t tried crib hour yet). I understand short naps are developmentally appropriate. My first didn’t exit the crap nap stage till he dropped to 1 nap, but he was fine with short 20-30 min naps. My second is sooooo grumpy and angry on a 30 min nap and if he has two short naps in a row he’s almost impossible to console and is practically passing out after 1.5 hours. Is there anything I can do to help him get through this stage? I’m going back to work tomorrow, so unfortunately he’s going to be doing 30 min naps during the week until this phase ends.

Has anyone dropped their toddler’s nap to help move bedtime forward? My 3 year old is low sleep needs. Currently, he wakes around 6:30-7 am, naps for an hour around 1:45-2:45 pm, and then goes to bed around 9:15/9:30 pm. He has always been low sleep needs and rarely sleeps more than 9-10 hours a night. His bedtime was not always this late, but more often then not we can’t get him to sleep before 9:15 pm (he’s usually in bed by 8:30 pm and to his credit he is trying to sleep, but he just tosses and turns).

The late bedtime wasn’t really a problem in the past, but we have a 5 month old now who is usually down by 7:30/8 pm so the extra hour and a half we spend struggling with the toddler is slowly killing me. The problem is, he definitely still needs to nap during the day. On days he doesn’t nap he’s a complete mess and we are managing meltdowns by the late afternoon. I’m just so confused about how to navigate this.

Our 3 year old got into our first choice 3k program, which also has an after school program that offers various activities including arts and crafts, sports, and French immersion. Our nanny will be transitioning to taking care of our infant in a few weeks (toddler will be in camp) and we’ve already increased her pay to account for watching both kids from roughly 2-5:30 pm. I’m wondering though if we should instead try to enroll our 3 year old in the after school program. Our nanny will be paid for both children no matter what, but of course looking after two kids with wildly different needs is a challenge. Curious what other NYC parents have done.

Now that it’s warmer out our 3 year old is obsessed with being in the backyard. The other day just it was around 7:30 pm so we were starting to wind down for bed. He asked to go outside to play and was beginning to throw a tantrum so I tried the old offer a choice method.

Me: “We can’t go outside right now but you can either play with your toys or I can read you a story.”

Him: “I want to play with my toys.”

Me: “Ok great, let’s…”

Him: “My outside toys.”

My fault. Guess I got to be more specific about what I offer as choices. Tell me about a time your toddler did something so impressive you couldn’t even get mad. I’m currently nap trapped with a congested infant so I could use some feel good stories!

Curious if anyone has thoughts/experiences they can share about the NORY summer camp (specifically the LIU location for 3-4 year olds). We are deciding between NORY and another camp for our son. I’ve heard good things about the winter camp, but don’t know anyone who has done a full summer there.

My 3 year old had his annual physical today and we learned he grew 1 inch between this year and last year. In the last six months he hasn’t grown at all. Ped said we should monitor it, but she wasn’t super concerned just yet and said maybe he was just finding his new curve (he eats well and his weight gain is still on track). My husband and I aren’t particularly tall, so this new curve is more inline with our heights, but it’s still scary to not see any growth. My nephew went through something similar, but was always on the small side. According to my SIL their endocrinologist tracked his height for a bit until giving them the diagnosis of “he’s just Asian.”

Would love to hear experiences from those who have been through something similar. If you saw an endocrinologist, when did you make that decision?

I will be returning to work in a month and our plan is for our nanny to start watching baby #2 while our toddler is in summer camp/school. She will be looking after two kids M-F from roughly 3-5:30 pm. Besides watching the kids, she will like take over washing dishes and helping with folding laundry for both kids. I manage all meals/snacks and everything else. I’d like to offer her a $2 raise starting June 1 and then her annual $1 raise at the end of September. Is this a fair amount? I know our nanny is comfortable countering our offer, but we love her and I want to make sure our initial offer is a fair one.