u/killthecompetition

i've been on pretty high doses of citalopram for 3-4 years, quetiapine for maybe a year, and promethazine every night for 2-3 years. i want to quit relying on them so i stopped taking them about a week ago. i know i'm going to feel shitty for a while, i think that's normal, but it's already getting bad. i'm short tempered (not like me), on the verge of tears 90% of the time for no discernible reason and i don't have the patience for anything, everything i usually do to pass time or to entertain myself makes me restless and bored.

i really don't want to keep taking my meds. i don't like how they make me feel, even if i function better when i'm on them. does anyone have experience with this? is it just a fever i need to sweat out?

we had to let go of my sweet boy ozzie in december of 2025. we had 17 long (short) years together and i just feel like it’s not getting easier. i still feel guilty over making the decision, even if logically i knew it was a kindness.

i have a new dog and i’ve told her all about him and the big old boots he left for her to fill. i know another pet isn’t supposed to replace the one you lost and i had no delusions that she would be anything like my boy or that we would have a similar bond, and i know the love you feel is supposed to be different, but the guilt of having her with me when i had to make the decision to let my ozzie go is killing me.

i’m not a largely religious or spiritual or even superstitious person, but my new baby laika destroys everything in her path as puppies do. but she hasn’t once touched the stuffed dog i got to put ozzie’s jumper and collar on. sometimes i wish she would so i could stop questioning my entire worldview over something so small and silly lol

not really sure what the point of this post is. just wanted to say i miss my baby