u/knightly22

has anyone found anything helpful for ACTUALLY feeling good, even for just a bit?

i work, don't feel good. i eat well, don't feel good. i go to the gym, don't feel good. i try to socialize, i don't feel good. i do things i like, i don't feel good. i stop doing all of these things, i don't feel good. no matter in what moderation or what combination, nothing feels.

ive tried SSRIs, wellburtin and ADHD stimulants and still nothing. i don't know how to describe how frustrating and dead and like absolute nothing life feels. and i'm not even asking for long-term happiness. just one thing to really make me feel good, and maybe for it to last a few hours... maybe even a day if that's too greedy to ask for.

For as long as I remember I have always had a weird relationship with friends where I have a single person I hyper fixate on and want to help. I will constantly think about their problems if they vent to me and how I can fix it or make it better, and it really bothers me when someone is in any level of distress. As I grow and struggle with friends now, I find myself often doing this with strangers, and it really occupies my mind for a few hours, and sometimes even days. Sometimes I observe a different of energy at people in work, or even peers, and it drives me nuts. Like these are people I don't even know. I think to myself- Why are they different? What is wrong? What can I do to fix it? Most of the time I know it would be weird if I say something, so then I keep ruminating and also feel frustrated because I can't help. This sometimes really even impairs my ability to focus in class or on my own things.

Can anyone else relate??

idk how to describe this but i keep getting really strong urges to do hobbies and get good at them, but it turns into frustration.

for example i've been playing the guitar for a few years, but i'm not very consistent with practice so i'm not the most skilled. still, i will get this intense urge to play really well or jam effortlessly, but i can't because i'm not at that level yet. that mismatch drives me nuts.

it's similar with piano, i got really strong urges to play and even convinced i needed a keyboard so i bought one, then i barely used it because i couldn't just play the way i imagined.

skateboarding was the same, i had really strong urges to skateboard, even dreamed about it several times because i was thinking about it so much, but when i actually try, it feels frustrating because it's not satisfying or like how i pictured.

i know it's stupid and that improvement takes practice obviously, but i find it so strange how intense these urges are compared to my actual ability, and then also my lack of will to actually carry out the hobby. i'm wondering if this is relatable or if there's a name for this.

I'm 20F and genuinely love being alone and think that I can be forever. I dread every time I have to hang out with friends or anything that has to do with being close to someone. The thing is, I am actually pretty good at being social, and people tell me that I am likeable. Especially when it comes to professional stuff like work and networking, I am able to socialize quite well and make myself warm and approachable. So I don't mind being social on a more professional/distant level.

But when it comes to close friends, I really struggle with the fact that someone can know me deeply, or I just feel generally bad or off-put about being close or not masking/being my true self. I also just generally feel super unfulfilled when I talk to any friends and it feels like being friends with people is more so for their benefit. Every time I spend time with someone I just feel like I wish I didn't and I feel bad for feeling this because I am surrounded by objectively good friends. I also hate making plans and prefer to do everything and anything alone. I feel like it's so peaceful to just live life feeling like I am the only person in my world during my down/free time out of work. I'm too comfortable being alone that sometimes I worry it's not normal. Will this screw me up when I'm older? Do people NEED friends? Idk

I went to the skatepark today for the first time and idk i felt a bit discouraged by the environment. I was trying to go down a small ramp and got yelled at to bend my knees which is totally fair but really threw me off. I also noticed they were mimicking me going down with straighter legs. I was avoiding a pathway people were skating down and was off to a side near a ramp when someone almost bummed into me and told me to watch where I am going (even tho I was LOL, I was very cautious about not being in the way) and I found that frustrating because why didn’t they just ask me to move! I should add that I am a girl and I’m not really used to like harsher or more blunt environment like this and am more sensitive, so I will definitely try to go at times where it’s just empty. I don’t like older men talking to me like that because it’s just scary.