u/lake_june

I wanna pay with a debit card

Or does it have to be with the same credit card I use for the security hold?

I fuel up. Then pull forward. As I’m getting out driver is at my door telling me he’s trying to get from behind me and leave. He wasn’t getting fuel apparently.

I tell him I’m going inside he walks away with an attitude.

When I come back outside the name on his trailer explained everything.

Western express

Once you get comfortable with the lifestyle and really get good at driving, the north east is a lot better than the south

Key reasons for me:

- better terrain
- better maintained roads
- healthier food options
- we don’t get immediately ticketed/towed/booted for parking at places such as stores or shopping centers where ease down south is notorious for that
- BETTER WALKABILITY with a lot more things in walking distance on average This is extremely overlooked

If I sign up online(truck driver) can I get instant access to
Any club ? A friend of mine told me they don’t even use the key fob thing anymore you just tap on your phone now

They owned up to everything. They even acknowledged and gave you answers to things you may of been wondering and bugging you. They aren’t asking for you back they genuinely felt remorse

Would you still read it? Would you look at them differently? Would you ask them NOT to send it?

I probably won’t find many people who are willing to admit this is or was their situation, but are there any post where a cheater can admit that they had trouble moving on when they finally felt what it was it was like to be cheated on themselves?

Depending on the person, they either charge it to the game or their ego is so bruised they aren’t able to move past it.

For the record I’m not talking about the person cheated back to get even. I’m talking about your cheating set off a chain of events that eventually led them to cheat(they’re still wrong) later down the line.

Being they are notorious for moving on easily, let’s have a transparency moment. If you truly did have a relationship that was hard to move on from which sign was it

Since this is still a fresh wound. I will probably end up deleting this post tonight some time.

Part 1, was me explaining how I met a perfect woman, who I found out, was texting guys, telling them she wasn’t in a relationship etc.
And after some very hard conversations, I gave her a second chance, went back on my deal breaker and we actually became closer and from all accounts she did change

I’ll post the link to that thread in the comments.

https://www.reddit.com/r/BreakUps/s/W47o7iXH7l

Before you guys come to your full conclusion, I want you to realize this girl really did change. Even if you don’t believe it, atleast try to look at it from that angle.
Here’s part 2….

A month has gone by, we’re working thru it. We became closer than ever. We still clearly love each other and our chemistry is literally nothing else you will see again.

One night we’re otp, chatting it up like normal. Since we are otp for hours all the time the topics jump around pretty randomly . At this moment it moved to sexual history. I asked her when was the last time she had sex(before me) and she gives a date that was literally right when we first became a thing. To this day I personally don’t think she realized the date that she gave me until she actually said it. And it was too late.

Anyway. I felt another gut punch. We had been doing so good. Great. We’ve seen each other a few times since then and really were working past the issue. But since I’m barely just finding this out it was like starting all over again. For clarification when I say she had ssx when we became a thing, i mean after we started telling each other that we love each other, which she actually initiated

At this point I still love her but of course my mind is REALLY telling me at this point “bro just move on and end this”. But I just could not ignore all the effort she was making to fix it. How she kept showing up for me even after I had my mood swings and days where I resented her. She took it on the chin, understood and kept giving me time I needed to cool down and hit her up when I was ready to speak again. It was an emotional roller coaster for her. One day I would love her and be that man again then at any given time I could get resentful and cold. This was NOT easy for her either.

Anyway not long after hearing this..i go home(again we don’t live in the same city).

I see my child….and I see his mother. Up until this point we have never been close since the bby was born. Just trying to successfully co parent. But clearly she still had a lot of feelings for me. Any other time it was easy to turn down any sexual advances she made. Extremely. But given everything that has also been happening and finding out it was more than just texting and meeting guys, sex DID happen at one point. I was just still too insecure and resentful. It eventually led to me sleeping with my BM. One time.

And I felt bad. I didn’t feel good. Especially because the day we did sleep together I initially kept turning down her advances. Atleast twice. Idk what made me finally cave in. Just weak and vulnerable.

I told myself, you know what, never again. Even tho I am still technically hurt, I DO want me and this girl to work out. I made a promise to myself to never do it again, and completely pour into our relationship like she has been doing as well.

Over the next month we continue to grow, we continue to repair, we continue to fall deeper in love to the point where we even go on a trip together. Not a normal trip but 2 weeks in my truck for work. That means we are sharing a tiny space just to see if we’re really able to do it. For 2 weeks we’re thuggin it out. Learning how to be in each others face 24/7 without getting annoyed, how we can work together to make each other comfortable. Waking up at 2am to walk in freezing weather to use a planet fitness or truck stop bathroom. But we did it.

This was literally the apex of our relationship. This was when I truly forgave her for everything and we fell deeper in love than ever. This was when I knew she was going to be my wife. She also ends up coming with me again for over a month later on down the road.

She’s the love of my life. I’m the love of hers. Except one day I get a text. It’s from my bm. “Call me “. Me and my bm NEVER talk otp. Never unless it’s an emergency. So I knew it was something. I pick up the phone. Long story short….”Im pregnant”

————————

Total and I mean total shock and disbelief. Why is this happening? Why?

I tell her get an abortion. She agrees and says we can

Until I see her again…. And she’s actually starting to show.

In my mind whyyyy df is this happening. Why did ANY of this have to happen ? Why did I have to go thru my gfs messages and see what was happening behind my back? Why was I so weak and insecure that I felt the need to sleep with my bm. Why couldn’t I be strong like other ppl that would never despite how emotionally vulnerable they were at the moment? Why couldn’t she just get a damn abortion?

This whole time my guilt is growing deeper and deeper. Me and my gf finally set a move in date for her finally moving in with me.. and this happens? Why?

But most importantly, how dh do I tell her this?

In my mind, i selfishly decided not to. Not yet. I was going for a Hail Mary.

I mean me and my bm haven’t had sex in around 3 years atp so it’s very very possible she has had sex with another person to so maybe just maybe the bby isn’t mine. In my mind I’ll just get a DNA test. And when it’s not mine, everything will be fixed.

Except it didn’t exactly happen that way.

My gf ends up finding out my BM is pregnant again. Of course, me not telling her this, only led her to believe it had to be mine otherwise I never would have hid it. I eventually just had to come clean.

When I say this girl was heartbroken. I have never seen any woman express pain like that in my life. And I felt just as bad.

Needless to say relationship ended.

So many thoughts going thru my head. Why did it have to happen like this. We literally loved each other. We literally repaired a broken trust from the ground up and came bk better than ever.

She expressed to me, she would be able to make work it out if it was anything else, just can’t deal with it being a new bby involved.

I understood.

But a part of me selfishly feels angry too. Like damn, when it was the other way around I really really gave you a second chance. Even when I found out about the sex after the fact I still forgave and moved past it. I’m breaking down in tears writing this. I have to stop. Sorry.

Disclaimer , I know this is going to be extremely unpopular.

Cheating to me was always a deal breaker. No exceptions even if it happened just once.

I end up meeting this lady, who over the course of us knowing each other. Was really the perfect person to me. Like our chemistry was 1/1. We can be otp for hours. We both did countless selfless acts for each other. We were legit in love in each other and became each others best friend . We still fought here and there(they may block me or vice versa) but it’s usually handled by the end of the day or next morning

Later on down the line, because of work and schedule(my work is extremely busy and they were graduating college) we had a period where we weren’t able to see each other(also don’t live in the same city).

When we finally did meet again, it was all love. We loved each other. Until that next morning. I go thru their device and I see something I absolutely never would have expected. Not just them texting one person, but multiple over the course of our relationship. When I say multiple I mean not even 5. Maybe closer to 10. What made it hurt so bad was one of the persons she was texting was while I was blocked. Another time was when I was away for a death in the family and they were simultaneously texting someone they were briefly talking to online before we got together, trying to meet up. I even seen one person, she told them specifically she wasn’t in a relationship. It was just a lot.

When I confronted her she only tried to deny it for a couple of minutes but she came clean. We broke.

Later on that day she calls me crying and I tell her we can just talk about everything later.

To be fair we had not seen each other in person for a while before this day.

Long story short, again all of better judgement, I just can tell the sincerity in the apology, and I told her we can get thru this TOGETHER.

While everything in my being told me not to, by all accounts we laid every single thing out on the table. I never caught her in another lie, and she actually did the self improvement on her own. She recognized why she even felt the need to do what she did. Alot of unresolved trauma and childhood issues etc. which honestly is very much the case when most ppl do stuff like this.

Our relationship actually grew because we both were able to realize it’s things we still didn’t know about each other. Effectively we just repaired our relationship from the ground up.

I know ppl will have their doubts about this story, but I just want to say, even tho it’s not likely some ppl can change.

I know it’s cliche to say but, everybody literally does make mistake. Even you. Only you know the full extend of you and a persons history. But if they only messed up one time, deal breaker or not, if you feel in the bottom of your soul that they truly did change AND you’ve seen them put in the effort including doing things to improve themselves that you didn’t even ask or suggest then maybe just one time
You can put your ‘dignity’ to the side and allow them to atleast show you.

At the end of the day, after watching her change so much, I realized the only thing that was holding me bk from giving her another chance was simply my ego. As a man, I know it’s hard, like dang, you was crushing on another man while in love with me? I get it fam. It’s just hard to ignore that as a man or even a woman. But please, if you do manage to meet that 1% person that genuinely has changed, do not let your ego and pride stop them from making things right. I’m not talking about the 99% of ppl who are only saying what they need to get bk and haven’t changed at all. Im talking about, if you’re in a situation where you genuinely feel it in your spirit that this was never a bad person to begin with, they made a mistake AND they changed and became an even better person. But the only thing stopping you was strictly ego and pride.

You will regret not giving them a second chance. Just because someone messed up does not that they don’t love you.

Let’s say you were with the absolute love of your life. And everything about this person was just right. But they made one mistake, literally one the entire relationship, it just happened to be one of your deal breakers. And out of respect for yourself you simply had to end it even if you knew deep down they weren’t a bad person.

My question, if you somehow knew for a fact they genuinely felt bad, did the self reflection and improvement AND actual did change to make sure they never hurt you again, would you take them back. Or would you still stand by your principles or a deal breaker is a deal breaker