u/lesbadims

I’m talking about when you‘re out with people for the day or on a trip or whatever, and no one of ever seems to be hungry. Like, it’s been 5+ hours since the last meal and when you bring up dinner everyone’s just kind of noncommittally like ”oh yeah, let’s go to (thing/place) and then maybe we can start looking for a place for dinner.” No matter what they say, that “thing” is going to take at least an hour longer than everyone thinks, and everyone’s still going to screw around before you actually walk into a place and sit down to dinner.

I’ve tried mitigating this by saying “I am getting hungry and will need dinner within the next hour“, and things still get drawn out by hours. I’ve also tried calmly and nicely saying “I’m too hungry to wait so I’m going to eat but I’ll meet up with you right here after you go to (blank)!”, and despite having been warned that I’d do this far ahead of time, everyone then overreacts like I’m about to drop dead and they agree to have food now but act as though theyre being SO accommodating and I’m being SO dramatic about it.

I also can’t stand when the solution to me being hungry at a reasonable dinner time is “oh I have a granola bar!” …. I don’t want a granola bar, I want….food. Like a meal. Maybe you've heard of meals before? Some people even eat them multiple times a day?

this will always, always baffle me.

I live in a busy tourist area and have a spare bedroom, so I have family, friends, and occasionally their friends as houseguests often. I love it most of the time! It makes the house lively and I'm usually so happy to spend time with people I wouldn't see as much otherwise.

But I hate when someone suggests I change something about my house as if I don't know better, just because they're mildly inconvenienced. Examples:

-I'm short and have moved some shelves lower so I can easily reach them and not be on my tiptoes all the time. My friend's boyfriend banged into a little shelf I have in the bathroom, got aggravated and told me I should move it up so it's more even with the towel rack. I told him why it's lower; he said "Well it's easy for people to bang into it there". Ok, sure, let me just inconvenience myself in my own home every day of my life just so that you, a person who's here for 3 days, don't have to use your eyeballs to avoid a visible solid object.

-My cousin insisted I should get a regular toaster instead of a toaster oven (aka she prefers regular toasters). I said I hadn't done that because I like ovens better, don't have the space to store a regular one, and the toaster oven already allows anyone who needs to toast an item to do so. Her reply implied was that I was "only thinking of myself"....which I am because it's MY HOME?? I'm sorry your free place to stay doesn't have every single thing you prefer? I do so much to make sure I have thoughtful accommodations for guests, but I'm not going to make my own daily life harder for every whim.

-Another friend's boyfriend said I don't have enough dishes. I have 6-8 of everything, we were only 3 people total not even eating every meal at the house, I have disposable dishes if needed, and I run the dishwasher regularly. I'm a 1-person household, I'm not going to buy a million extra dishes that I do not need just because you needed a place to stay for a couple days while you're on vacation. If you need that many dishes, go to the sink and wash yours.

Disclaimer, I have a lot of understanding for why people are like this as I have worked my whole life to overcome severe anxiety, but because I'm often the one they cling onto, I'm calling it my pet peeve.

I'm talking about when people cannot negotiate a new situation to save their life. In this case, I live about 15 minutes away from a small/mid-size city. It is not known for being particularly chaotic, traffic-heavy, dangerous or anything like that. Many of my friends are people from work, and we work in literally one of the busiest tourist destinations in the US so it's not like they live in a cornfield with no one else around and never leave it.

However, any time I want to go to an activity in the city, my usually perfectly capable friends who regularly say they "want to go out and do things more often!" suddenly cannot handle anything at all; the idea of figuring out parking is inconceivable even when I give them easy, free, non-parallel parking options. They've "heard it's dangerous" even when I've never heard of a serious crime occurring near where we're going (museum, sports game, music event etc). They "don't know how to get there" even though it's 2026 and they have google maps. They HAVE to carpool with me because they're just too nervous even though they live out of my way, or I was planning to be in the area early for other errands and don't want to run on their schedule, etc.

I fully understand that new experiences are overwhelming and sometimes you just don't have the bandwidth for it. But this is so ongoing that now I only go to events with people I know aren't going to ask me 45 questions they could have easily found online. It's a shame because I love these other people and would love to do more with them but they complicate everything.

UPDATE: Apparently I mean auto start/stop and not eco mode. Apologies, They are the same button on my car.

Eco mode being the default on a car is the most goddamn fucking annoying thing to happen to cars. Why on earth would I want my car to have to violently reboot itself every time I come to a stop sign for 4 seconds. The fact that I have to remember to turn it off every single time I start the car is obnoxious. My car even proudly tells me how much gas it’s saved me, and it amounted to literally $7 fucking dollars in an entire year. Who invented this stupid function. If I want to save fuel I will turn the car off on my own like people have for 100 years now. 

When you’ve got the takeout home/meal made, and trying to be polite company and wait for everyone to sit down to eat, and someone in the house then gets up to do some stupid non-time-sensitive errand without notice (aka will they be 30 seconds or 10 minutes, and can I start eating if the latter?) meanwhile everyone is sitting there with hot food starving.

There are a handful of people in my life who I’ll be walking and talking with (usually to reach a destination) and when they get to a dramatic or interesting part of a story, they stop walking to emphasize the point. So naturally I stop walking too, but then they continue just standing still. I’m never sure if it’s for a purpose but don’t want to interrupt to ask, so we just stand there for no reason for like 2+ minutes until I decide it’s time to start walking again and trust they’ll stop me if they had actually stopped for a reason. It’s so maddening to me, like I’m sure they just got distracted but WHY are we just standing here, in the way of everyone and delaying getting wherever we’re going?

This is such a stupid pet peeve but I don’t like when you buy a sandwich and the paper it’s wrapped in takes up half the table when it’s unwrapped. Most of the time, I’ve bought a sandwich because I’m on the go and I don’t have space to spread out this paper the size of a wall poster.

Yes, I can and do fold it up, but it’s so obnoxious. Ok, thanks for listening, moving on with my life now lol

I have a good friend of more than a decade who started working from home about a year ago. My best guess is this change caused her pent-up energy to some point.

I’ve noticed that when we get together recently, her volume and speed of talking is incredibly high, and she talks in a very animated way that is hard to keep up with after 20 minutes or so. The last few times we’ve spent time together I went home with a blinding headache and could not do much of anything for the rest of the day. Her energy is positive, but so overwhelming that it makes me physically anxious.

I hate feeling this way because she is a wonderful, wonderful friend, and it’s not like she’s being negative or just talking at me— she’s usually updating me on things, asking about things going on with me, telling stories about people we both know, sharing things she’s done lately that I might like, etc.

What is a kind way to react to this? I have tried responding to her in a normal tone rather than trying to match her energy, and she gets concerned that something’s wrong or I don’t feel well, even when I explained that I’m just feeling mellow and don’t have a ton of energy that day but am so glad to be with her.

When you’re taking a group picture and someone suggests you also take a silly one, especially when it’s all adults.

WHY.

Why do we need that?? Am I going to forget I had a good time unless I have a picture making a forced stupid face to remind me? I’ve never once looked at, say, a friend’s picture from an outing and thought “wow i’m not sure about these people from just the normal picture of everyone smiling, but this Silly One really let me know how whimsical and fun-loving they all are”.

It’s just so cringey and stupid, and if someone wants to come across as zany and fun, they can just do that themselves.

I often find myself having an awkward gap of 2ish hours between finishing work and when I have plans with friends downtown.

Since it’s not really worth it to go all the way home and back, I’m looking for ideas of where to relax for a little while in the downtown area since it’s currently too hot to sit outside at a park or something.

Would especially love a place that is free/cheap, has armchairs/couch as opposed to regular dining chairs and isn’t usually terribly loud or crowded, and is open until 7:00 or so.

Thanks!

I have horrible jaw clenching and pain at night that is, at risk of sounding dramatic, ruining my damn life. I can’t sleep, can’t get my mouth open wide enough to enjoy food properly etc.

I have a dr’s appt scheduled to help with this, but I also need a pillow to align my neck and jaw. All the memory foam ones everyone recommends are so firm that I wake up with my face numb the same way your arm falls asleep if you’re laying on it. They’re so uncomfortable that I can’t fall or stay asleep.

Does anyone have one or another solution that might help?

I’m looking for a new laptop and would appreciate any specific recommendations since I’m dizzy comparing them at this point. The last one I had was rough because I had to buy it quick and with only like $200. (It’s been limping along for 8 years, it’s barely functioning, bless it lol).

Luckily I am able to spend a little more now, but would still like to keep the price under $600 if I can.

I don’t need much but I want to prioritize longevity and keep this new one for a long time.

-I am looking for 16 or even 32gb ram -Needs to have USB ports -I would use it mostly for word processing, streaming shows/movies, and general internet browsing

Thank you!

Lately I’ve been horribly horribly afraid that I’ll do or have already done something that will cause me to lose my job, get arrested or otherwise ruin my life. I can’t stop going over everything casual I’ve said at work to see if it could have offended anyone or if it was inappropriate. I’ve also been severely distressed that I’ve somehow done something legally wrong without knowing or understanding the severity of it. It’s worse than I’ve ever felt it.

I’m writing to ask if anyone who experiences these things has any specific triggers that cause it to flare like this, so I can see if I’ve recently experienced anything similar and that may be why I’m feeling this way. The only thing I can think of is that I got a parking ticket a few weeks ago for the first time, but it seems like that would be an extreme reaction.