u/liel0wmil0

weird question maybe, but my family is making me feel really unjustified in my decision to quit my job. i worked at a boarding and daycare, i loved it so much.... until i started to get anxiety after noticing patterns and issues that didnt ever get addressed. i just can't justify some of the steps the company made the managers take in i can only assume the sake of more money

for example, here are some things that would happen;

- daily physical fights, typically with the same dogs who would start it

- a dog with 40+ (reported) incidents on file, ALL about being violent & randomly snapping with other dogs in camp as well as (badly) biting an employee when being pulled away. still allowed in camp just allegedly being put in training

- two dogs who dislike eachother (which everyone knew) biting an employee when they inevitably fought and had to be pulled apart and then when requested it got denied to have them separated and switch every couple of hours (which is something that's offered, and not taken advantage of enough likely cuz it's annoying to do)

- one dog being sick, still allowed to stay, and causing an outbreak throughout the facility

- continuing to board dogs that were infectious and very ill (who were brought in that way)

- pushing 50+ large dogs in camp with typically 2-3 employees for them all

- evaluations only ever allowed to be denied if a manager says so, managers 9/10 would say yes when they weren't there during the evaluation. almost every dog would be a pass even when everyone agreed they shouldn't, and only didn't if it was seen as super dangerous

- two dogs who prior got into a physical altercation, one being left in stitches... the aggressor was allowed back into camp
- on top of that the injured one was brought back to camp barely being healed because the owner wanted us to take him (and we didn't say no)

- boarding dogs that had warnings on their doors like "do not linger" because they would go insane in their room if you stood near it too long or "do not leash or harness" when it's a big dog so... how do we take them from place to place without that? but then doing it they're aggressive towards us?

also want to mention the staff physically having to pull and restrain dogs was because of the fact spray bottles did not work, neither did noise paddles, and typically things get too crazy for anyone to think.

and anytime i brought something up it was always one of those "oh well, we deal with it cuz nothing will ever change"

i just really.... really don't feel like it's fair to the dogs we have. it's not fair that we have to spend out time watching a specific couple of dogs because they could snap at any moment. it's not fair we put other dogs in possible danger. it's not fair we put employees in possible danger. isn't it bad to work at a pet place, and know that you yourself would never bring your pets their for THEIR safety??

is this really how every dog daycare is? that's why my family is telling me, and if it is... then yeah i'm never taking my dog to one ever. and i want to still work with animals of course.... but definitely not at facilities that allow this

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EDIT:
i just wanna add this and say thanks to everyone who helped me realize this truly isn't okay. i wanted to trust my gut but was being told that that's just "how it is when you work with animals" and with the fact im so desperate to find my way into this field i tried to believe it at first.

i've been trying to get into the animal field my whole life, im starting college soon specifically to get a degree in animal care because it's what i want my career path to be. which, if you know, getting ur way into some of these animal focused jobs prior to having ur degree is so hard. but it's super helpful for the long run to.

so, i got super excited at the opportunity of this job and i feel like that made me kinda try to tell myself i was overacting. but as time went on i just couldn't justify it anymore. i just felt so bad, and i felt even worse when sharing my views and having everyone agree yet NOTHING changed.

i have already quit, and am moving on to try and find other opportunities with animals, moreso exotics since that's what i truly want to work with in the long run. but i will settle for anything if i must, and at least this job gave me professional experience so finding something else might be easier this time.
wish me luck <3

also a small mention that im an autistic guy and that is why it is so hard for me to tell if this guy is into me or not. i am not good with social cues, tone, and most things social. (also don't wanna embarrass him or make an unsafe scenario since we're both guys)

so,
theres a cute guy who works at a store i go to.... and the first time i met him i didn't think anything of it. it was a nice chat, pretty long but it was late in the evening and the place was pretty empty.

most of the times after i went to the store it was the same thing. quick chats and little exchanges of random topics while i tried not to be that annoying customer who doesn't shut up.

ended up not going to the store for a little while, i don't remember when but apparently long enough for the next encounter;

last week he was there by the time i was leaving the store, and he like.... eyes on me smiled really big and went "i haven't seen you in a long time" it honestly took me a moment to remember who he was. i didn't forget the conversations i just didn't really like.... actively save them in my brain.

we had a very quick chat and then i ended up leaving, cutting the convo a bit short because i was in a rush to go home. when i got to my car i was a bit flustered and ask my friend what that interaction could mean and how this dude who sees so many people remembered me after like.... multiple months.

i've been dropping by the store a bit, slightly influenced by him cuz he is cute, and each time it's been a conversation again..... but i feel like a creep by going and hoping he's gonna be there 😭

maybe it's my autism, but doesn't it mean something when someone has such heavy eye contact with you and just smiles none stop when they're talking to you?

idk. yesterday i had forgotten to get something, so i went back into the store, and the second he saw me it was a big smile and immediate standing up straighter and taking a step towards me. we then had a conversation because i said that "i forgot the one thing i came for"

also i should mention when i stand in line, the place he stands is directly across and he just stares at me the whole time. and like, leans back staring. every so often he looks away or does yk... his job by greeting ppl or checking receipts but still.

that time when i walked over he did that thing where you put your hands infront of you, and like swing your leg as you step forward. he stands very close to me when he checks my receipt. he fumbled it a few times too, like he kept missing grabbing it even tho he was standing right next to me. slowly it seems like each time i see him it's less right infront of me and more inching to my side. idk.

anyways he missed it a couple times, accidentally brushed my hand and quickly moved it away. then chuckled and said something about missing grabbing it, then finally he got it and checked it off.

anyways he's very cute, i enjoy the little convos we have, and idk.... like ive debated if i should maybe give him my number? or ask for his? idk if that's appropriate, especially if he's just being nice and i'm blowing things out of proportion. either way i likely don't have the confidence to give mine/ask his....

for all i know the reason he's happy and engaged is because im the only person who bothers to have a chat 🤷‍♂️

tldr; this guy is cute, i'd like to give him my number if the chance arises but im worried he's actually just being nice and polite or something and im just telling myself he might be attracted to me

also a small mention that im an autistic guy and that is why it is so hard for me to tell if this guy is into me or not. i am not good with social cues, tone, and most things social. i also have a bad gaydar and don't wanna absolutely embarrass (or endanger) either of us.

so,
theres a cute guy who works at a store i go to.... and the first time i met him i didn't think anything of it. it was a nice chat, pretty long but it was late in the evening and the place was pretty empty.

most of the times after i went to the store it was the same thing. quick chats and little exchanges of random topics while i tried not to be that annoying customer who doesn't shut up.

ended up not going to the store for a little while, i don't remember when but apparently long enough for the next encounter;

last week he was there by the time i was leaving the store, and he like.... eyes on me smiled really big and went "i haven't seen you in a long time" it honestly took me a moment to remember who he was. i didn't forget the conversations i just didn't really like.... actively save them in my brain.

we had a very quick chat and then i ended up leaving, cutting the convo a bit short because i was in a rush to go home. when i got to my car i was a bit flustered and asked my friend what that interaction could mean and how this dude who sees so many people remembered me after like.... multiple months.

i've been dropping by the store a bit, slightly influenced by him cuz he is cute, and each time it's been a conversation again..... but i feel like a creep by going and hoping he's gonna be there 😭

maybe it's my autism, but doesn't it mean something when someone has such heavy eye contact with you and just smiles none stop when they're talking to you?

idk. yesterday i had gone in. same interactions as usual, then left. but i had forgotten to get something, so i went back into the store, and the second he saw me come back it was a big smile and immediate standing up straighter and taking a step towards me. we then had a conversation because i said that "i forgot the one thing i came for"

also i should mention when i stand in line, the place he stands is directly across and he just stares at me the whole time. and like, leans back staring. every so often he looks away or does yk... his job by greeting ppl or checking receipts but still.

that time when i walked over he did that thing where you put your hands infront of you, and like swing your leg as you step forward. he always stands very close to me when he checks my receipt, this time it was a bit closer imo.

he fumbled it a few times too, like he kept missing grabbing it even tho he was standing right next to me. slowly it seems like each time i see him it's less right infront of me and more inching to my side. idk.

anyways he missed it a couple times, accidentally brushed my hand and quickly moved it away. then chuckled and said something about missing grabbing it, then finally he got it and checked it off.

anyways he's very cute, i enjoy the little convos we have, and idk.... like ive debated if i should maybe give him my number? or ask for his? idk if that's appropriate, especially if he's just being nice and i'm blowing things out of proportion. either way i likely don't have the confidence to give mine/ask his....

for all i know the reason he's happy and engaged is because im the only person who bothers to have a chat 🤷‍♂️

tldr; this guy is cute, i'd like to give him my number if the chance arises but im worried he's actually just being nice and polite or something and im just telling myself he might be attracted to me

i got a new job recently, a dream job of mine (until i get my actual dream job) but it's still part time and i'm a student. i make $18hr and ive been working the typical part time hours. last week i worked 22.5 hours give or take a little bit.

the problem is, i try to save my money up, but at the end of the week i end up having to use all of it on gas. my job is 32 miles away from me. i didn't know it was that far because everyone in my family kept telling me it wasn't.

i try to put money into my savings every time i get paid but i always have to use it on gas. so i end up not having any money until the next time i get paid. furthermore, i can't spend money on anything else. and i can't drive anywhere else because im always worried i wont have enough gas for work.

i want to move out, i want to get tattoos, i wanna be able to buy clothes or toiletries when i need it. which i just don't have the funds for.

is there anything i can do? i am NOT going to quit but now i just feel stressed about my funds all the time.

i have coworkers who seem to do fine with my same pay and hours, and it's likely because they live so much closer to the job then i do. or maybe they have more parental help then i do.

once im working a bit longer im sure my managers wouldn't mind adjusting work to my schedule, but right now im still the "newbie" who does tasks no one wants to do. so i cant ask for stuff like that.

is there anything i can try to help me budget? one thing i was debating doing is getting a binder and saving physical money. helps my brain because when i don't see it in my account i just ignore that i have it. (im autistic and numbers are hard for me) then i would just use my savings account as my "gas money" account. and my checking can be my extra cash for the week?

i dont live THAT expensive of a lifestyle. i buy second hand when i can, i go to discount stores, i always get things on clearance or sale when i can and i resell (certain) things when i have no use for them anymore.

i know i can still do better though so im asking for advice. talking to my mom she just compares it to when she was younger, which is irrelevant because things weren't as expensive.

also for context, i live in california. gas prices (and everything) are pretty high over here right now.

i'm 19, turning 20 in a couple days and i'm desperate to move out.

i live with just my mom, and i can't do it anymore. she gives me immense stress, always wants to argue, is always yelling, and doesn't let me go anywhere or do anything beyond my job.

i do every chore around the house (litteraly including my moms laundry which i've told her so many times makes me uncomfortable) and it's another thing that adds to my stress and anxiety.

i come home from work exhausted (job is physically demanding) and still am yelled at until i do the laboring things she asks for.

i work part time right now, and i make 18 an hour at the moment. pay is supposed to go up next month but im not sure by how much. i don't have a super set schedule at the moment. but i can only assume my biweekly income will be $300-$600. maybe? not sure yet.

i'm technically still in training, two of those days have been 8 hours each and my other two were 4 hours each. that is with me taking out my unpaid hour lunch break. i'm waiting to see how my schedule is as it's a "we send it the week before" kind of deal.

i'm in california, and i need to be close enough to my job that gas isn't that bad. already im currently 30miles away from my job. id prefer to be closer, or maybe stay this distance if needed, but i will not be able to afford being further.

i do not care where i live, so long as i have my own room and bathroom. i would prefer not to have roommates (unless its people i already know) but i am flexible on it. i wouldnt mind sharing a kitchen and dinning, but i personally need my own room and at least bathroom.

i've been looking on apartments.com & zillow and have found a couple of stuff that haven't been taken. i of course am waiting to make enough to be able to pay for a deposit and all. plus actually seeing them irl.

i have a car, but it's still under my moms name since it was hers before she got a new one. i am just listed as a driver. i don't think she'd take it back though. my grandma would actually beat her up if she did.

she pays for our car insurance and i'm not sure if she will make me pay for my own if i move. i don't care much, it's just a factor into my spending.

this is probably a lot more information then it needs to be, but im desperate to get out. i can't mentally be here longer then another year.

my mother is so financially irresponsible that my entire life we've moved from house to house due to evictions since she would always spend money on cosmetics and clothes instead of rent. i can't live with this stress anymore.

i've already made up a small map of what my costs of things might be. i'm just waiting to put in more numbers as some time goes by of me working there. it is also a legit job that i doubt i would be let go from unless i made some sort of horrible mistake.

i can give more detail in dms if needed, i just need to know if i need to mentally prepare to be disappointed.