u/loulabelle20

Sorry, I'm using this subreddit almost like a journal but I feel like I need an outlet for how I am feeling. Haven't cried today but almost have several times. Tried to focus on my breathing to control the panic that forms.

I don't know how to move on and be happy on my own. That's what I need to do, learn to be happy because nothing lasts.

Hi, I am looking to chat with people about anything as long as it is SFW. I am feeling very lonely and would just like some friends to chat to. I am interested in photography, music, podcasts, baking, reading. I would prefer UK based but that is purely due to time differences. I may not respond to dms that come from blank accounts

Currently feeling like this is it for me. I will make a connection, it will fail, I sink further into depression, it starts again. Stuck in this cycle and all I do is build my walls up further, what is the point of anything anymore. The only time I'm happier is when I manage to sleep and my brain switches off for a while.

I've not been as tearful today thankfully but at the back of my mind there is that constant "what if"

What if things were different, what if he liked me how I like him. It's hard to shut off the many questions I have going through my head.

I don't know what to do with myself

Sitting here willing myself not to cry again. Everytime I feel it build up again I try to control my breathing. Try to keep it steady. This calms me for a while until the feeling comes back.

It will do. The tears have been present for 4 days now, almost constant and I hate feeling like this

From the start I felt like this one was really going to hurt when it inevitably ended. Sure enough I feel almost like I am grieving. Not sure what for exactly, a life I fantasised about perhaps. At a point in my life where I am thinking about everything I thought I would have and I don't have any of it.

Writing this and saying to myself "don't cry dont cry". I can't keep feeling this way, about to go and see some family for a birthday lunch and once again I'll be sat there thinking maybe this time next year I will have someone with me, supporting me, loving me.

I'm pretty sure I have cried more over the last two days than I have done in probably two years combined. Can't get a grip at the moment. Caused me headaches but as soon as I feel a little brighter the sad feeling comes straight back. I need to try and hold it together over the weekend as I am going to stay with my parents and I don't want them to see me so upset. This seems a long shot at the moment. Any tips on how to hold yourself together?