Help - people keep calling me a piece of shit and following me for a scandal then try to gaslight me to believe in paranoid
The scandal was some thefts in my youth. A girl stole a credit card and tried to frame it on me. I was charged as an accomplice for receiving free items but got nothing of a punishment because I had no criminal record or proof of intent .just proof I was with the girl when she stole. So someone made up a rumor I stole at a workplace so people would attack me and I'd get a "fairer" punishment befitting in their eyes. Then people in high school told my parents what a trouble maker I was. So anything that went missing they assumed I stole I guess? The kicker is they kept quiet and didn't accuse me of stealing (the workplace confronted me but believed me because there was no video evidence of what she said). They instead made fun of me for being a bit odd effeminate gay male growing up. So they kept the reputation on, made gya jokes people got wildly homophobic and I got beat up in the park where me and my scene crowd friends used to hang (this was 2012?) sticking up for others.
My family organized and orchestrated to make me miserable in multiple ways. They tried to shove me off with bad roommates in college. I'm talking partying in the middle of the night unannounced getting a 50 year old man to pose as a sugar daddy to live with us. Then becoming so hostile because she drugged me with acid to get a fake boyfriend to break up with me. I had to move out. Way before the lease ended. Old friend groups were told to pretend they are better than me and I'm a loser because after a suicide attempt at 17 I become withdrawn.
Then workplaces coordinate bullying, pretending I'm gunned for a promotion then nothing (I was in school so I didn't care). Most coworkers arbiturally hated me and would say things to pretend to he like me then if I engaged made fun of the thing. I was kind of messed up as a kid from bullying so it really hurt in the moment. Then I couldn't land a job in my field. So I was deferred to pharmacy tech work. Then I got a job in my field but only swing shift working 12hrs then coming in 8 hrs later for another 12 type of schedule. I quickly left and the next workplace created fake HR drama. staring at me. Saying in staring at others. Id go in the bathroom if I was stared at so they made up a rumor I smoke in there. Then said I put water on the floor to trip people. Then stared at me on lunch breaks. Started to call my work inspid. Saying I made mistakes where I didn't. Some girl came up to me asking to explain a process and I do and she goes "you know nothing base doff what you tell me" and I said I did it a million times, with caveats but did it and was told how to do it.
Then the next workplace I went to immediately after starting graduate school fired me after 2 months. It was pharmacy tech work that paid well and I needed a break from the drama. My boss immediately called me stupid asshole then a week in said I can't perform my job despite the job required a day of training since I had previous experience. I got fired and while I walked out a lady pointed and laughed at me. This happened for the next 8 workplaces.
During this time I was essentially estranged and not talking to my family for homophobic remarks. It turns out they started fights with this to get me upset to film me and this is how they got workplaces to believe I was bad. Because there was barely any proof I was a thief. Only one expunged record.
Anyways it had been a few years and I thought maybe they missed me (they called me the angel child compared to my bitch on wheels brother and everyone always used to call me THE nice guy sticking up for others). My dad invited me to an amusement park. We rode up in the same car together and he said he didn't want to ride anything when we got there. He ended up ditching me and I was alone. Then high schoolers were picking on me telling me to kill myself I'm so useless, an asshole, the worst guy they ever knew, a loser with no real life experiences cause they knew I didn't make a ton of friends in college (I got really quiet after a suicide attempt at 17 compared to who I was). Just showing off and following me unless I ran or went to the bathroom. After a hsitty day my dad asked me to drive visibly upset at this point. With my sister and her friend. They probed and kept trying to get out of me why I was upset and I was speeding home (goin 80 or 90 on a 70). They filmed me speeding a cryir and framed it as I recklessly endangered them. I lived with them only for a bit before this. I was in graduate school. Constantly working or applying since I only had like 2 months lapses between all my firings. I also was sewing like crazy. Made my family coats. Pillows. Like smocked pillows. Started clothing but never got around to much because what happened the next year.
They essentially tired to get another facility to create HR drama and pick on me and stare me down all day. The facility oddly worked with me but it was a black filled department. The boss was black and I kept trying to reach out to them. Had many talks to try to clear the air. I didn't know why they were upset but knew people hated me. My parents had me fired again, but my boss actually fought for me but thought I was too far gone. Everyone else in the department wanted me gone even if my direct supervisor listened to me when I talked about black struggles and how it's not much different than what I was going through. My mom admitted to my face she wanted to ruin my life cause she wasn't me to feel defeated to become "a better man" by humiliating my entire life.
Apparently they were upset they had to be nice to me after my suicide. So they acted fake nice then treated me like shit and for having to put up with a thief whose reputation was ruined (I didn't know I was this horrible thief to everyone until my mom told me). My parents let me on their phone plan, messed with my phone line when I had no job. My mom used to stare at me. Contacted me graduate school telling them to watch me harder and judge me work more. I had group projects that were semester long and the group just hounded my work. I found out this girl in ALL my groups worked for the school and wasn't actually a student but participating to watch me (she was enrolled in the same degree but hired by the school first). Because they set me up so badly to be beaten down in life, my mom admitted she wanted me to die. My mom was trying to control me as a test to see if I'd be nice to my abuser and I could get a job. Instead I broke down saying I'm tired of being stared at and said I wish she'd die (because of how she metaphorically wanted me to die). Again the recorded this and have continually found people to ruin my life and gaslight me. Online. Following me at stores mostly with retirees. Breaking into my residence to put parental controls on electronics left at home to monitor my usage as I use hotspot for Internet to avoid them tracking my cookies on home Internet devices. I've done everything in my power to avoid them but I can't truly do it because so so so many strangers say fuck him and attack me.