u/lucy_belle

I really need some advice because I feel emotionally drained.

I’ve been with my husband for 10 years and we have two kids. My parents live abroad, and every time we visit them, I end up dreading the trip because it becomes so emotionally exhausting. This happens every single time we visit. We visit two to three times a year.

My parents are extremely judgmental of my husband and his parenting. They watch everything he does and constantly point out how uninvolved he is, that he favors one child over the other, that he doesn’t help enough with the kids, etc.

The hard part is… some of what they say is true. My husband and I have been struggling, and many of the issues they point out are things we’ve argued about ourselves. So I can’t even wholeheartedly defend him. Instead, I end up feeling sad, angry, and resentful all over again.

Yesterday my mom told me she feels sorry for my “bad luck” in having him as a life partner. That comment absolutely crushed me because it felt like she was saying out loud the thoughts I’ve been trying to push away.

What’s confusing is that things aren’t always this bad at home. When we’re on our own, he’s actually more involved with the kids and more present. For some reason, whenever we’re visiting my family, it’s like he withdraws even more, and having two extra people silently judging him seems to make everything worse.

It also doesn’t help that my sister’s husband is incredibly involved with their kids, so my mom constantly compares them.

Now I can’t stop crying, and every visit leaves me questioning my marriage all over again. I don’t know if my parents are helping me see reality or making everything feel 100 times worse by constantly criticizing him.

Has anyone been in a situation where your family’s opinions made you question your relationship even more? How do you separate legitimate concerns from outside influence? I honestly don’t know what’s normal anymore. This happens every single time we visit.

For some additional context, our marriage has been struggling for a while, which is probably why my parents’ comments hit so hard. My husband isn’t a bad person, but he’s emotionally unavailable and tends to avoid addressing problems. He helps around the house and does things like showering the kids, but I still carry most of the mental load and parenting. He rarely takes the initiative to plan things with the kids unless I suggest them first. He also has a much closer relationship with our younger child, which I don’t think is intentional, but it has deeply affected me and our marriage.

He has a very short temper and is extremely critical of little things, so I often feel like I’m being corrected rather than appreciated. I also have a lot of unresolved resentment from the postpartum years because I felt very alone. We have very different parenting styles, and over time I’ve become resentful and, honestly, contemptuous. I know I’ve become rude toward him because of all the built-up hurt. It feels like our marriage has reached a really low point, and what hurts the most is that he acts like everything is fine instead of acknowledging that we’re struggling.

I really need some advice because I feel emotionally drained.

I’ve been with my husband for 10 years and we have two kids. My parents live abroad, and every time we visit them, I end up dreading the trip because it becomes so emotionally exhausting.

My parents are extremely judgmental of my husband and his parenting. They watch everything he does and constantly point out how uninvolved he is, that he favors one child over the other, that he doesn’t help enough with the kids, etc.

The hard part is… some of what they say is true. My husband and I have been struggling, and many of the issues they point out are things we’ve argued about ourselves. So I can’t even wholeheartedly defend him. Instead, I end up feeling sad, angry, and resentful all over again.

Yesterday my mom told me she feels sorry for my “bad luck” in having him as a life partner. That comment absolutely crushed me because it felt like she was saying out loud the thoughts I’ve been trying to push away.

What’s confusing is that things aren’t always this bad at home. When we’re on our own, he’s actually more involved with the kids and more present. For some reason, whenever we’re visiting my family, it’s like he withdraws even more, and having two extra people silently judging him seems to make everything worse.

It also doesn’t help that my sister’s husband is incredibly involved with their kids, so my mom constantly compares them.

Now I can’t stop crying, and every visit leaves me questioning my marriage all over again. I don’t know if my parents are helping me see reality or making everything feel 100 times worse by constantly criticizing him.

For some additional context, our marriage has been struggling for a while, which is probably why my parents’ comments hit so hard. My husband isn’t a bad person, but he’s emotionally unavailable and tends to avoid addressing problems. He helps around the house and does things like showering the kids, but I still carry most of the mental load and parenting. He rarely takes the initiative to plan things with the kids unless I suggest them first. He also has a much closer relationship with our younger child, which I don’t think is intentional, but it has deeply affected me and our marriage.

He has a very short temper and is extremely critical of little things, so I often feel like I’m being corrected rather than appreciated. I also have a lot of unresolved resentment from the postpartum years because I felt very alone. We have very different parenting styles, and over time I’ve become resentful and, honestly, contemptuous. I know I’ve become rude toward him because of all the built-up hurt. It feels like our marriage has reached a really low point, and what hurts the most is that he acts like everything is fine instead of acknowledging that we’re struggling. He is against counseling.

Has anyone been in a situation where your family’s opinions made you question your relationship even more? How do you separate legitimate concerns from outside influence? I honestly don’t know what’s normal anymore.

Hi everyone,

I recently accepted an FCPS teaching position and have already started the onboarding process. However, there is another FCPS school that would be a much better fit for my family because it’s the same school my child attends and would make childcare/logistics much easier.

I’m considering attending the upcoming FCPS job fair to see if that school has any openings, but I’m worried it might look unprofessional or awkward since I’ve already accepted another FCPS position.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Is it common for teachers to switch schools after accepting an offer but before the school year starts? And would it be strange to attend the job fair while already in the onboarding process?

I’d appreciate any insight

For those who have taught in both Title I and non-Title I elementary schools in FCPS, what were the biggest differences?

Which setting did you prefer, and why? Looking back, would you choose one over the other?

I’d love to hear about your experiences.

Hi parents!

We are considering enrolling our 2 kids in Kindercare Franklin Farm or Prinrose Chantilly as we will both be working full time in August. I am limited to these 2 options as they are the closest to work/home and offering drop off/pick up from school. If you have anything to share about any of these I would love to know about your experiences.

Hi everyone,

I’m currently getting my Virginia teaching license and have been applying to many FCPS positions for next school year. I also attended the FCPS job fair in February but still haven’t gotten many interviews. I got one but no offer yet I was told to wait until late June.

I do have several years of international elementary teaching experience, but I’m new to how hiring works here in FCPS. I’m planning to attend the June job fair as well.

Do I still have a good chance of getting hired for this coming school year? Do schools continue hiring through the summer?

Would appreciate any insight from teachers familiar with FCPS. Thanks!

Anyone stuck on I 66 ? Huge accident roads are closed