u/m00n_dustx

i have moral OCD, and right now it's pretty severe. i find that I'm spending all my time, and I mean ALL my time, every day searching and searching to try and find out whether something has ties to Israel, or something unethical. of course it's good to search up and check if something has ties to Israel or is unethical, but i'm spending literally all my time doing it and re-checking over and over again and I don't know what to do or how to stop. i feel really guilty even posting about this, like I'm being bad and selfish. i feel like I'm not doing enough and should be trying harder, and like i should be spending every day checking and checking to make sure I'm not supporting something unethical. i hope that all makes sense? i just feel like such a bad person, and it's all so overwhelming.

thank you for reading. advice welcome and needed but no reassurance please since i have OCD :)

hi!!

i use Deezer to listen to music, and I just got a McDonald's ad. should I switch to a different music app? or do all free music services (i can't afford a paid service right now) advertise McDonald's and other companies on the bds list?

any suggestions or advice, please let me know!! thanks for reading :)

hi!!

i always always try my best with consuming ethically - I buy almost everything second hand, and if I really can't, I will try buy from ethical and small businesses. i'm also boycotting everything on the bds list.

i also don't really use social media, except from Instagram - and this is my problem. If it wasn't for the fact that I'm trying to create a small business and sell handmade art/crafts, I wouldn't use Instagram at all. In the past 2 weeks or so, I haven't used it as I've been worrying I'm doing the wrong thing. I've heard they've been censoring an taking down posts in support of Palestine.

I'm struggling with rational decision making and thinking due to having poor mental health at the moment, so what I'm asking for is a second opinion. Is it ok for me to continue using Instagram for business purposes? or am I doing something wrong?

thank you for reading!! :) advice needed and welcome!

hi!! i have been boycotting and not using everything on the bds list since I knew about it, and always try my best with buying from ethical businesses (usually i buy second hand).

i have a question about meta and its platforms - is it something i should also be boycotting? I keep seeing mixed information online about how it's complicit and just generally an unethical company (i know it's near impossible to boycott every single unethical company, but I want to try and avoid things where I can), so I'm not really sure what's true and what's not.

I haven't been using any of its platforms over the last few weeks out of the fear of not doing the right thing. however, since not using it, I have felt much more stressed than usual. i mainly used Instagram, and I used it for communicating with friends and communities. I think this is why I've been more stressed, as I can't communicate with anybody. I also used it to promote my artwork - i plan on having my own business in the near future to sell my art/crafts. I don't know if I'll be able to do this without advertising on social media though unfortunately, so I'm also worried I'll have to rethink my future.

I'm not really sure what to do. I have OCD and not the best mental health right now, so struggle with making decisions a lot of the time. I guess I just want a second opinion on all of this. Thank you for reading!! :)

(this is a repost to try and get some more comments)

hi. this is gonna be a long post so sorry in advance if I mess anything up or repeat myself :)

I have OCD. It got bad maybe 5 years ago, but i look back on things and know it's likely I've had it, or at least symptoms and behaviours of it, for my whole life. My OCD is all about being a bad person in various ways. It shows up absolutely everywhere in my life and it's currently quite severe. As you can imagine, having it undiagnosed for 4 years meant I was doing all the wrong things - reassurance seeking, ruminating, researching, doing all the compulsions. So it's been very hard. I struggle with knowing what to do at times because it's hard for me to tell if something is a compulsion or not.

I'm really struggling with something right now, and i don't think I can do this alone.

I started hearing ableist/racist/wrong comments from some of my family members several months ago, which completely shocked and hurt me. I couldn't and still don't understand why, why they are saying these things. So I have tried, I have really tried so hard, I have cried and begged and pleaded to try and make them change. I have tried to educate them about why the things they say are wrong. I have tried so hard. And nothing has changed. And it still hurts because I didn't think this was who they were. It's honestly killing me.

I'm 17 and don't remember hearing any of this growing up, but since it has started, I haven't known how to get help and support. So that's why I'm writing this I guess. I have no friends and know no one outside of my family because I had to drop out of college due to my poor mental health and OCD. I didn't keep in touch with anyone from school. I didn't really have any friends there either. I'm hoping to go back in September though. If I don't, I don't honestly know how I'll cope. It's just been really rough. I do have a therapist though and plan on telling her all about what's been happening next time I see her.

How do I handle going out? I really struggle with going out alone at the moment, and I'm at home in the house every day. I don't want to go out with my family for obvious reasons, I don't want to spend any time with them at all. But I can't go out by myself. So what should I do? As I said earlier I know nobody, absolutely nobody else, no friends or anything. I feel like staying inside all the time is making me feel worse. I don't know if this is completely wrong, please please tell me if it is, but what if I went along with them to some place, kept my headphones on the whole time, didn't speak, and just kept my distance and did my own thing until it was time to go home? Is that okay? Please do tell me if it's not, I'm sorry if it's not. I'm just completely isolated and I really don't have any other ideas. If any of you do, please please tell me, I'd love to hear them.

I think that's mainly what I wanted to say. Oh one more thing - I'm worried that because I'm not doing anything anymore when I hear these comments, because I'm not trying to educate, or crying, or pleading, that it makes me complicit. Does it? Am I doing the wrong thing by putting my headphones on and just trying to ignore them when I hear them say things? Should I be doing something else? Please please tell me if so. I feel like I'm not appearing uncomfortable or distressed enough, and that makes me a bad person.

Okay I think that's everything. I hope it all makes sense, and like I said, sorry if there are any mistakes haha. thank you so so much for reading :) advice is absolutely welcome and much needed

my mental health right now is probably the worst it’s ever been - panic attacks every day, constantly wanting to go to the hospital to try and get some kind of immediate help, and just feeling extremely depressed and hopeless. I also have OCD, which is pretty severe right now. I’m at home every day due to all of this, and have been for a year, but am hoping to go back to college in September.

since learning about BDS, I’m trying to boycott and not use every company and service on the list all at once. However, I feel like by doing this I’m struggling even more. Services like YouTube and Netflix were coping mechanisms for me and allowed me to get away and distract myself for a while. They were both my most used distractions before learning about the boycott list. I’m currently not using either.

as well as this, my OCD wants me to boycott and not use pretty much every company and service that is or has done something unethical, or cannot prove that is is ethical in every way. this means that now I find myself just sitting around, extremely anxious and unable to distract myself. I try to do physical things like hobbies, but because my mental health is so bad right now, I have very little energy. I’m also on meds that make me very tired throughout the day.

I guess I wanted to ask what should I do? should I keep trying to boycott everything? I feel like it’s wrong if I don’t. if anyone can suggest good alternatives to boycotted companies, that would be great too :)

(this is a repost to try and get some more comments)

hi. this is gonna be a long post so sorry in advance if I mess anything up or repeat myself :)

I have OCD. It got bad maybe 5 years ago, but i look back on things and know it's likely I've had it, or at least symptoms and behaviours of it, for my whole life. My OCD is all about being a bad person in various ways. It shows up absolutely everywhere in my life and it's currently quite severe. As you can imagine, having it undiagnosed for 4 years meant I was doing all the wrong things - reassurance seeking, ruminating, researching, doing all the compulsions. So it's been very hard. A lot of the time I can't tell if something that is happening is 'real' or not - whether it's my OCD thoughts or something genuinely concerning.

I'm really struggling with something right now, and i don't think I can do this alone.

I started hearing ableist/racist/wrong comments from some of my family members several months ago, which completely shocked and hurt me. I couldn't and still don't understand why, why they are saying these things. So I have tried, I have really tried so hard, I have cried and begged and pleaded to try and make them change. I have tried to educate them about why the things they say are wrong. I have tried so hard. And nothing has changed. And it still hurts because I didn't think this was who they were. It's honestly killing me.

I'm 17 and don't remember hearing any of this growing up, but since it has started, I haven't known how to get help and support. So that's why I'm writing this I guess. I have no friends and know no one outside of my family because I had to drop out of college due to my poor mental health and OCD. I didn't keep in touch with anyone from school. I didn't really have any friends there either. I'm hoping to go back in September though. If I don't, I don't honestly know how I'll cope. It's just been really rough.

I wanted to ask 2 main questions:

I'm being treated with ERP and mainly CBT with a therapist. I haven't told her about any of this yet. To be honest, I don't think she's the right therapist for me, but I can't get another one at the moment. I think that's the main reason why I haven't told her. I don't think she gives the right advice. But also because I'm worried that if I talk to someone about this, my mental health will become even worse and something really, really bad might happen. So what I wanted to ask is should I tell her? I don't know if it's a good idea because of all of that, but like I said, I can't deal with this alone anymore. It hurts so so much, and I'm struggling to cope.

This is the main thing I want help on. How do I handle going out? I really struggle with going out alone at the moment, and I'm at home in the house every day. I don't want to go out with my family for obvious reasons, I don't want to spend any time with them at all. But I can't go out by myself. So what should I do? As I said earlier I know nobody, absolutely nobody else, no friends or anything. I feel like staying inside all the time is making me feel worse. I don't know if this is completely wrong, please please tell me if it is, but what if I went along with them to some place, kept my headphones on the whole time, didn't speak, and just kept my distance and did my own thing until it was time to go home? Is that okay? Please do tell me if it's not, I'm sorry if it's not. I'm just completely isolated and I really don't have any other ideas. If any of you do, please please tell me, if love to hear them.

I think that's mainly what I wanted to say. Oh one more thing - I'm worried that because I'm not doing anything anymore when I hear these comments, because I'm not trying to educate, or crying, or pleading, that it makes me complicit. Does it? Am I doing the wrong thing by putting my headphones on and just doing my own thing when I hear them say things? Should I be doing something else? Please please tell me if so. I feel like I'm not appearing uncomfortable or distressed enough, and that makes me a bad person.

Okay I think that's everything. I hope it all makes sense, and like I said, sorry if there are any mistakes haha. thank you so so much for reading :) advice is absolutely welcome and much needed

(this is a repost to try and get some more comments)

hi. this is gonna be a long post so sorry in advance if I mess anything up or repeat myself :)

I have OCD. It got bad maybe 5 years ago, but i look back on things and know it's likely I've had it, or at least symptoms and behaviours of it, for my whole life. My OCD is all about being a bad person in various ways. It shows up absolutely everywhere in my life and it's currently quite severe. As you can imagine, having it undiagnosed for 4 years meant I was doing all the wrong things - reassurance seeking, ruminating, researching, doing all the compulsions. So it's been very hard. A lot of the time I can't tell if something that is happening is 'real' or not - whether it's my OCD thoughts or something genuinely concerning.

I'm really struggling with something right now, and i don't think I can do this alone.

I started hearing ableist/racist/wrong comments from some of my family members several months ago, which completely shocked and hurt me. I couldn't and still don't understand why, why they are saying these things. So I have tried, I have really tried so hard, I have cried and begged and pleaded to try and make them change. I have tried to educate them about why the things they say are wrong. I have tried so hard. And nothing has changed. And it still hurts because I didn't think this was who they were. It's honestly killing me.

I'm 17 and don't remember hearing any of this growing up, but since it has started, I haven't known how to get help and support. So that's why I'm writing this I guess. I have no friends and know no one outside of my family because I had to drop out of college due to my poor mental health and OCD. I didn't keep in touch with anyone from school. I didn't really have any friends there either. I'm hoping to go back in September though. If I don't, I don't honestly know how I'll cope. It's just been really rough.

I wanted to ask 2 main questions:

1. I'm being treated with ERP and mainly CBT with a therapist. I haven't told her about any of this yet. To be honest, I don't think she's the right therapist for me, but I can't get another one at the moment. I think that's the main reason why I haven't told her. I don't think she gives the right advice. But also because I'm worried that if I talk to someone about this, my mental health will become even worse and something really, really bad might happen. So what I wanted to ask is should I tell her? I don't know if it's a good idea because of all of that, but like I said, I can't deal with this alone anymore. It hurts so so much, and I'm struggling to cope.

2. This is the main thing I want help on. How do I handle going out? I really struggle with going out alone at the moment, and I'm at home in the house every day. I don't want to go out with my family for obvious reasons, I don't want to spend any time with them at all. But I can't go out by myself. So what should I do? As I said earlier I know nobody, absolutely nobody else, no friends or anything. I feel like staying inside all the time is making me feel worse. I don't know if this is completely wrong, please please tell me if it is, but what if I went along with them to some place, kept my headphones on the whole time, didn't speak, and just kept my distance and did my own thing until it was time to go home? Is that okay? Please do tell me if it's not, I'm sorry if it's not. I'm just completely isolated and I really don't have any other ideas. If any of you do, please please tell me, if love to hear them.

I think that's mainly what I wanted to say. Oh one more thing - I'm worried that because I'm not doing anything anymore when I hear these comments, because I'm not trying to educate, or crying, or pleading, that it makes me complicit. Does it? Am I doing the wrong thing by putting my headphones on and just doing my own thing when I hear them say things? Should I be doing something else? Please please tell me if so. I feel like I'm not appearing uncomfortable or distressed enough, and that makes me a bad person.

Okay I think that's everything. I hope it all makes sense, and like I said, sorry if there are any mistakes haha. thank you so so much for reading :) advice is absolutely welcome and much needed

hi!!

I have severe OCD and depression, and have been on various medications for the past 8 months or so. I've tried 5 different ones, (currently on my 4th and 5th) but haven't been on one single medication for longer than 2 months, as I've had bad side effects with everything (the side effects haven't been as bad so far with the meds I'm on now, however, I've felt increasingly worse over the past 2 weeks and experienced a lot of restlessness, fatigue, anxiety, and this extremely uncomfortable feeling I can't quite describe. This means I might have to adjust my dose or even change meds again next time I see my psychiatrist in a couple weeks).

I'm currently on aripiprazole and mirtazapine, and have tried sertraline, clomipramine and prozac as well.

I want to ask a couple questions about all this, because I am starting to worry.

1 - am I medication resistant? Is it possible for my OCD to be resistant to any and all forms of medication? If I do have to stop taking what I'm currently on, is it even worth trying another one, considering how it's all been going?

2 - should I have even been told to take this many medications in the space of 8 months, with no breaks in between? I'm starting to wonder how healthy this is for me, especially since I'm only 17.

3 - I know everyone is different, but if I need to try another medication, is there any anyone can recommend me trying? Is there anything that anyone has taken/is taking that is actually improving their OCD/depression (mainly OCD, as that's the main factor causing my depression.), that I haven't already tried?

4 - should I talk to my psychiatrist about trying a medication I've already been on again? Although I did have bad side effects with all of them, if there is a chance one of them can actually help me if I stay on it for longer, I would definitely take it.

thank you for reading all this!! it was longer than i expected but please do comment if you have any advice or experience with taking medication for OCD. Thank you!! :)

hi. This is my first post, and probably a long one, so sorry in advance if I mess anything up or repeat myself :)

I have OCD. It got bad maybe 5 years ago, but i look back on things and know it's likely I've had it, or at least symptoms and behaviours of it, for my whole life. My OCD is all about being a bad person in various ways. It shows up absolutely everywhere in my life and it's currently quite severe. As you can imagine, having it undiagnosed for 4 years meant I was doing all the wrong things - reassurance seeking, ruminating, researching, doing all the compulsions. So it's been very hard. A lot of the time I can't tell if something that is happening is 'real' or not - whether it's my OCD thoughts or something genuinely concerning.

I'm really struggling with something right now, and i don't think I can do this alone.

I started hearing ableist/racist/wrong comments from some of my family members several months ago, which completely shocked and hurt me. I couldn't and still don't understand why, why they are saying these things. So I have tried, I have really tried so hard, I have cried and begged and pleaded to try and make them change. I have tried to educate them about why the things they say are wrong. I have tried so hard. And nothing has changed. And it still hurts because I didn't think this was who they were. It's honestly killing me.

I'm 17 and don't remember hearing any of this growing up, but since it has started, I haven't known how to get help and support. So that's why I'm writing this I guess. I have no friends and know no one outside of my family because I had to drop out of college due to my poor mental health and OCD. I didn't keep in touch with anyone from school. I didn't really have any friends there either. I'm hoping to go back in September though. If I don't, I don't honestly know how I'll cope. It's just been really rough.

I wanted to ask 2 main questions:

1. I'm being treated with ERP and mainly CBT with a therapist. I haven't told her about any of this yet. To be honest, I don't think she's the right therapist for me, but I can't get another one at the moment. I think that's the main reason why I haven't told her. I don't think she gives the right advice. But also because I'm worried that if I talk to someone about this, my mental health will become even worse and something really, really bad might happen. So what I wanted to ask is should I tell her? I don't know if it's a good idea because of all of that, but like I said, I can't deal with this alone anymore. It hurts so so much, and I'm struggling to cope.
2. How do I handle going out? I really struggle with going out alone at the moment, and I'm at home in the house every day. I don't want to go out with my family for obvious reasons, I don't want to spend any time with them at all. But I can't go out by myself. So what should I do? As I said earlier I know nobody, absolutely nobody else, no friends or anything. I feel like staying inside all the time is making me feel worse. I don't know if this is completely wrong, please please tell me if it is, but what if I went along with them to some place, kept my headphones on the whole time, didn't speak, and just kept my distance and did my own thing until it was time to go home? Is that okay? Please do tell me if it's not, I'm sorry if it's not. I'm just completely isolated and I really don't have any other ideas. If any of you do, please please tell me, if love to hear them.

I think that's mainly what I wanted to say. Oh one more thing - I'm worried that because I'm not doing anything anymore when I hear these comments, because I'm not trying to educate, or crying, or pleading, that it makes me complicit. Does it? Am I doing the wrong thing by putting my headphones on and just doing my own thing when I hear them say things? Should I be doing something else? Please please tell me if so. I feel like I'm not appearing uncomfortable or distressed enough, and that makes me a bad person.

Okay I think that's everything. I hope it all makes sense, and like I said, sorry if there are any mistakes haha. thank you so so much for reading :) advice is absolutely welcome and much needed.