Hey Everyone,
Anyone one up for cycling around the tank bund leg tomorrow morning around 6 AM to 9 AM.
I would be trying this for the first time and looking for other folks to do this with, I am open to ride for 10-15 kms during this trip. Please message me or comment on this post if u would like to join.
TL;DR:
I (mid-20s) have developed feelings for a woman at work (different team, late-20s). We’ve known each other for a few months, have good banter, chat regularly, and have spent some one-on-one time together, but I’m usually the one initiating.
Recently we met in person and had a good conversation. During it, she mentioned that she had met someone through a marriage alliance/introduction process, which made me feel like I might be running out of time to tell her how I feel.
I intended to directly tell her that I like her, but instead I got nervous and only said that I really wanted to spend time with her this weekend.
She paused, seemed surprised, and replied, “I’ll let you know.”
Now I’m stuck wondering whether:
“I’ll let you know” is a soft rejection,
she just needs time to think,
or I should have been more direct.
Complicating things further, she has previously declined/postponed movie invitations from me, rarely initiates conversations herself, and seems to have a busy social life.
Should I wait and see whether she follows up about the weekend, or should I have one direct conversation and clearly tell her that I’ve developed feelings and would like to explore something more than friendship?
Main Post:
I've developed feelings for a woman I work with (late-20s). We're in the same company but different teams, so there's no reporting relationship or anything like that.
We've known each other for a few months. Over time we've built up a friendly relationship through office interactions, chats, jokes, memes, and occasional one-on-one conversations. We get along well and have a lot of banter.
One thing worth mentioning is that I am usually the one initiating conversations. She responds and engages, but she's not someone who frequently initiates with me (very rarely). She has also left me on seen a couple of times and replies very late even sometimes.
Recently her office location changed, which made it harder to run into each other naturally. I've been worried that if I don't say something, I'll eventually lose the opportunity.
This week I went to visit her office and we ended up spending around half an hour talking. The conversation was good and she later dropped me back too.
During the conversation she casually mentioned that she had recently met someone through a marriage alliance / introduction process and went on a movie too with them. That immediately made me feel like I might be running out of time if I wanted to express my feelings.
At the end of the interaction, I intended to tell her directly that I like her and would like to explore something more than friendship.
Instead, I got nervous.
What came out was basically:
"I really want to spend some time with you this weekend."
She paused, seemed surprised, and then replied:
"I'll let you know."
The pause and surprise made me feel like she understood there was something more behind what I was saying.
Since then I've been replaying the interaction in my head.
Part of me thinks:
\\\* If she were interested, she probably would have said yes immediately.
\\\* "I'll let you know" might be a soft rejection.
\\\* I should have just told her directly how I felt.
Another part of me thinks:
\\\* Maybe she genuinely needs time.
\\\* Maybe I am overthinking the pause.
\\\* Maybe I should wait and see whether she follows up (But according to past occurrences, I don't think she will answer until or unless I ask again)
The thing I'm struggling with most is that I don't feel I actually said what I wanted to say. I feel like I got 70% of the way there and backed out at the last second.
Additional context:
One thing that makes me uncertain is that there have been a few situations where I tried to spend time with her outside and it didn't really happen.
For example, I invited her to a movie more than once in the past. She never accepted the invitation and tried to postpone it and later said she is not available.
There was also a recent trip she went on. We talked about the trip before and after it happened, but I wasn't part of those plans. Looking back, I sometimes wonder if I have been interpreting friendliness as interest because she seems to have a fairly active social life and a lot of people she spends time with. She goes to gym, does yoga and also has looks very young to her age. She is the reason, I started gym too currently to start looking like her at her age.
At the same time, she continues to respond to messages, jokes, and banter, has spent one-on-one time with me (during office tea brakes / lunch only), and recently spent around half an hour minutes talking with me and drove me back to my destination.
So I feel stuck between two competing interpretations:
My question is:
Should I let things play out and see whether she follows up about the weekend?
Or should I have one direct conversation where I clearly tell her that I've developed feelings and would like to get to know her better in a dating context?
This is effecting and making me more and more anxious as I think about the possibility with her. I think I won't be able to find any one like her. She is so gentle and good.
I should also mention that I have become quite emotionally invested in this situation, so I'm not sure whether I'm reading things objectively anymore.
I'd appreciate honest opinions, especially from people who have either received a confession like this or have been in a similar situation themselves.
I've developed feelings for a woman I work with (late-20s). We're in the same company but different teams, so there's no reporting relationship or anything like that.
We've known each other for a few months. Over time we've built up a friendly relationship through office interactions, chats, jokes, memes, and occasional one-on-one conversations. We get along well and have a lot of banter.
One thing worth mentioning is that I am usually the one initiating conversations. She responds and engages, but she's not someone who frequently initiates with me (very rarely). She has also left me on seen a couple of times and replies very late even sometimes.
Recently her office location changed, which made it harder to run into each other naturally. I've been worried that if I don't say something, I'll eventually lose the opportunity.
This week I went to visit her office and we ended up spending around half an hour talking. The conversation was good and she later dropped me back too.
During the conversation she casually mentioned that she had recently met someone through a marriage alliance / introduction process and went on a movie too with them. That immediately made me feel like I might be running out of time if I wanted to express my feelings.
At the end of the interaction, I intended to tell her directly that I like her and would like to explore something more than friendship.
Instead, I got nervous.
What came out was basically:
"I really want to spend some time with you this weekend."
She paused, seemed surprised, and then replied:
"I'll let you know."
The pause and surprise made me feel like she understood there was something more behind what I was saying.
Since then I've been replaying the interaction in my head.
Part of me thinks:
* If she were interested, she probably would have said yes immediately.
\* "I'll let you know" might be a soft rejection.
* I should have just told her directly how I felt.
Another part of me thinks:
\* Maybe she genuinely needs time.
\* Maybe I am overthinking the pause.
\* Maybe I should wait and see whether she follows up (But according to past occurrences, I don't think she will answer until or unless I ask again)
The thing I'm struggling with most is that I don't feel I actually said what I wanted to say. I feel like I got 70% of the way there and backed out at the last second.
Additional context:
One thing that makes me uncertain is that there have been a few situations where I tried to spend time with her outside and it didn't really happen.
For example, I invited her to a movie more than once in the past. She never accepted the invitation and tried to postpone it and later said she is not available.
There was also a recent trip she went on. We talked about the trip before and after it happened, but I wasn't part of those plans. Looking back, I sometimes wonder if I have been interpreting friendliness as interest because she seems to have a fairly active social life and a lot of people she spends time with. She goes to gym, does yoga and also has looks very young to her age. She is the reason, I started gym too currently to start looking like her at her age.
At the same time, she continues to respond to messages, jokes, and banter, has spent one-on-one time with me (during office tea brakes / lunch only), and recently spent around half an hour minutes talking with me and drove me back to my destination.
So I feel stuck between two competing interpretations:
My question is:
Should I let things play out and see whether she follows up about the weekend?
Or should I have one direct conversation where I clearly tell her that I've developed feelings and would like to get to know her better in a dating context?
This is effecting and making me more and more anxious as I think about the possibility with her. I think I won't be able to find any one like her. She is so gentle and good.
I should also mention that I have become quite emotionally invested in this situation, so I'm not sure whether I'm reading things objectively anymore.
I'd appreciate honest opinions, especially from people who have either received a confession like this or have been in a similar situation themselves.
I've developed feelings for a woman I work with (late-20s). We're in the same company but different teams, so there's no reporting relationship or anything like that.
We've known each other for a few months. Over time we've built up a friendly relationship through office interactions, chats, jokes, memes, and occasional one-on-one conversations. We get along well and have a lot of banter.
One thing worth mentioning is that I am usually the one initiating conversations. She responds and engages, but she's not someone who frequently initiates with me (very rarely). She has also left me on seen a couple of times and replies very late even sometimes.
Recently her office location changed, which made it harder to run into each other naturally. I've been worried that if I don't say something, I'll eventually lose the opportunity.
This week I went to visit her office and we ended up spending around half an hour talking. The conversation was good and she later dropped me back too.
During the conversation she casually mentioned that she had recently met someone through a marriage alliance / introduction process and went on a movie too with them. That immediately made me feel like I might be running out of time if I wanted to express my feelings.
At the end of the interaction, I intended to tell her directly that I like her and would like to explore something more than friendship.
Instead, I got nervous.
What came out was basically:
"I really want to spend some time with you this weekend."
She paused, seemed surprised, and then replied:
"I'll let you know."
The pause and surprise made me feel like she understood there was something more behind what I was saying.
Since then I've been replaying the interaction in my head.
Part of me thinks:
* If she were interested, she probably would have said yes immediately.
* "I'll let you know" might be a soft rejection.
* I should have just told her directly how I felt.
Another part of me thinks:
* Maybe she genuinely needs time.
* Maybe I am overthinking the pause.
* Maybe I should wait and see whether she follows up (But according to past occurrences, I don't think she will answer until or unless I ask again)
The thing I'm struggling with most is that I don't feel I actually said what I wanted to say. I feel like I got 70% of the way there and backed out at the last second.
Additional context:
One thing that makes me uncertain is that there have been a few situations where I tried to spend time with her outside and it didn't really happen.
For example, I invited her to a movie more than once in the past. She never accepted the invitation and tried to postpone it and later said she is not available.
There was also a recent trip she went on. We talked about the trip before and after it happened, but I wasn't part of those plans. Looking back, I sometimes wonder if I have been interpreting friendliness as interest because she seems to have a fairly active social life and a lot of people she spends time with. She goes to gym, does yoga and also has looks very young to her age. She is the reason, I started gym too currently to start looking like her at her age.
At the same time, she continues to respond to messages, jokes, and banter, has spent one-on-one time with me (during office tea brakes / lunch only), and recently spent around half an hour minutes talking with me and drove me back to my destination.
So I feel stuck between two competing interpretations:
My question is:
Should I let things play out and see whether she follows up about the weekend?
Or should I have one direct conversation where I clearly tell her that I've developed feelings and would like to get to know her better in a dating context?
This is effecting and making me more and more anxious as I think about the possibility with her. I think I won't be able to find any one like her. She is so gentle and good.
I should also mention that I have become quite emotionally invested in this situation, so I'm not sure whether I'm reading things objectively anymore.
I'd appreciate honest opinions, especially from people who have either received a confession like this or have been in a similar situation themselves.