u/mencryforme5

One thing I noticed when Meri and Janelle met up to talk, is that whenever Janelle would say she wasn't involved, or that she had no way of knowing they weren't very sparse teeny tiny throw away jokes here and there ---- well she always looked away. And when she would remake eye contact she would say: "it's done now. Aren't you glad it's over?" which I interpreted as trying to change the topic. If Meri tried to ask questions, like "what kind of comments, what kind of jokes" she would also avert her eyes and sort of go "listen it's done now let's focus on moving on".

I'm no body language expert but I actually rewound that scene cuz I was like why is she being so vague and just not looking at Meri? Like surely Meri deserves more than just "wasn't me". I also wanted an explanation for what exactly happened and it was just a lot of "I don't know it was Kody well I really don't know well hey it's done now hi hi hi".

I get she was nervous but did anyone else read the body language as... interesting. Meri was warmer than I would be in her situation, it sounded like she really just wanted an explanation and I don't think she was particularly pushy about it. Which is probably why we got nothing, yet again.

Oh yeah and then Janelle's next segment is like a mansion she built to live in alone lol. I see you TLC, I see you.

I think her Teflon Queen nickname is accurate.

Whatever went on was shady.

She approached Meri and cryptically "suggested" to her that Kody was about to screw her out of hundreds of thousands of dollars, and that Meri should join her and her lawyer. Meri very cautiously set out feelers and came to the conclusion that while she didn't trust Janelle overall, she didn't trust Kody and Robyn and decided to open herself enough to work *openly* with Janelle.

So everyone involved knew Meri was working with Janelle. Meri was openly not working with Kody. Everyone knew Meri had zero contact with Kody and Robyn outside of lawyers at that point. Zero.

Janelle however was secretly working with Kody. I'm not saying that they had a plan ironed out and that plan was to screw Meri. No. I'm saying both sides agree that they were talking to each other not through lawyers, and that these talks involved either serious or unserious plans for selling the property, where at least some of the plans they discussed without a lawyer present were plans that involved Meri being legally out of the deal.

Meri didn't know that fact. And it doesn't matter if Janelle wants to say they were just joking. Janelle admits herself she did discuss with Kody an idea for a deal that would cut Meri legally off from her rightful earnings. And Janelle never said any of this to Meri. Janelle never provided Meri or her lawyer the information that Janelle and Kody *were* discussing completely alternate plans from the ones they told Meri to tell her lawyer to work on.

And recall Janelle even said "well Meri and her lawyer were tied up in paperwork and it was taking too long so we went ahead". Who tied them up in paperwork? Well Janelle is the one who told Meri to get a lawyer, and Kody and Robyn pitched them the NDA that Janelle apparently didn't have to deal with ---- and then we find out Janelle and Kody were talking without lawyers specifically about this situation and planning ro move forward without her.

It doesn't matter if it didn't go through. It doesn't matter if Janelle was just joking. Why is she joking about stealing money from Meri with their ex without lawyers present when all three are involved in a massive legal battle? If she was just joking why wouldn't she have told Meri? Why didn't she warn Meri about Kody's plan, considering she warned Meri to get a lawyer in the first place? Why did Meri only find out this happened on TV?

I'm really sorry but anyone that just believes Janelle is some generous being who is being framed by Kody here is doing mental gymnastics. Regardless of whether it was a joke, it's a fucked up joke considering the circumstances, one that spanned weeks and several conversations, and Janelle never warned Meri that Kody was actively trying to drown her impossible paperwork so that they could blame her and cut her out of the deal.

I genuinely don't care if Janelle never would have actually gone through with it. This is exactly the kind of batshit insane gaslighting Meri endured from that family for 40 years. That was not an innocent joke with a mutual ex husband. That was a joke that almost became reality that involved the loss if hundreds of thousands of dollars and Janelle was at the center of it, and Janelle never gave her the courtesy of informing her that there was a real emergency because Kody was talking about selling without her knowledgeable in literally the next two weeks.

I can't believe some people are falling for this.

I know I should be getting answers from doctors but that is not always possible for a variety of reasons.

Basically, I had Ramsay-Hunt syndrome... and instead of getting better things got worse. Afterwards, I exhibited cardiac, cognitive, and (very mysterious) ipsilateral femoral nerve pain requiring a cane. Getting answers after the Ramsay-Hunt was awful, because doctors don't like medical mysteries.

My family doctor was obviously very concerned and wouldn't accept no for an answer, but I spent a year getting told by neurologists that this was ALL psychiatric. I had already been cleared by psychiatry, but that didn't matter. I was told I never had Ramsay-Hunt and I was doing this because I didn't want to work. I had one tell me "no one wants to help people like you". Me being an award winning academic researcher. But yes I'm a woman. Mind you every other specialty believed I had a neurological condition. Neurocognitive report at a fancy neurological hospital showed only same-sided deficits, neurological physio at fancy hospital also explained that was the side of my brain governing the other leg, non specific brain lesions, etc.

Anyways, the only answer I ever got was the last neurologist from the fancy neurological institute who told me that it wasn't psychiatric, they've known for centuries these things happen, and that in his opinion it was the Ramsay-Hunt inflammation too close to the brain. But he also told me that he's not allowed to diagnose me with that and the policy in the country was that anything post-viral is called "psychiatric". And he said without a diagnosis no one would help me or take on my case.

So that was that. Obviously trying to move on, it's been two years since the paralysis. I went to consult to fix my face but things get complicated because they realize that my face is still partly paralyzed and they don't know how deep in the brain things got but she's like "I think you had viral encephalitis with the Ramsay-Hunt and that's what happened".

I told her that's actually what I always thought happened and then I went home and cried because... I don't know I accepted I never would have answers. But really I want them. My family doctor last time I saw him was so sad because he had the final neurologist report and finally realized that was it, that no one would help him help me. It's a strange thing to be in the middle of.

I'm also a former healthcare worker and maybe I'm projecting but like yeah we all wish medicine were more of a science than it actually is.

But anyways: I don't actually know anything about whether this is even possible because I have a mental block about researching this particular thing because it terrifies me. Is it possible that the otorhinolaryngologist didn't catch it? Would I actually have survived? Could I have done something differently? Could this actually explain everything that happened after the Ramsay-Hunt? Can it even be one-sided?

I have so many questions.

Just trying to get some closure cuz the guy isn't able to. Basically reconnected with a guy I knew in college. He was just getting out of a 20 year relationship with two kids involved.

The guy was nice enough, seemed shy, so I kept thinking eventually our conversations would get better since he would be more comfortable. Our conversations got worse the more time spent together. He really just listens to me talk. He answers any questions either super super vaguely or just trailing off and waiting for me to talk. He will even do this when it's about what his opinion is. He'll just... wait for me to ask him a yes or no question and then tell me yes this is what I'm feeling or no this is not what I'm feeling. We were always out but when we weren't he wouldn't want to talk, just make out, which is more or less when I knew it wouldn't work.

But the two deal breakers were:

1- after 8 months, I had no idea why he's getting a divorce, or how it's going. I know nothing other than "it's taking longer than I would like it to" but refuses to answer anything more specific. I never saw his apartment. Nor did he know I was getting cancer screenings and what not. I would bring up my doctor's appointment and he wouldn't ask questions or react or show any interest or acknowledgement. I'd ask him to ask me questions and he would stare romantically at me saying there's nothing he needs to know he just wants to enjoy my company. Nice on the first date, weird eight months later and I know nothing about anything important going on in your life.

2- I don't know if he's unusually stupid, but like after a movie he said "I can't relate to female characters I only relate to male characters", then refused to explain what he meant, claiming he'd never thought about it before in 2026(!), got mad at me for thinking badly about him before spiraling and promising he would change when I told him "gender beliefs should be a deal breaker for most people". I flat out asked him whether he relates to me and he just wanted to go to dinner and not acknowledge this was a deal breaker for me. Instead he just told me to come see his apartment finally (!).

Anyways. I ghosted him for six months because right after the fight, part of the testing for my medical condition was an IQ test and my results put me like in the middle of the 99th percentile, and basically I knew he wasn't my partner because I couldn't talk to him, obviously. It was beyond over. We met up just so I could explain why I ghosted and dumped him, but sadly he thought it was a date. After six months. When I asked him to ask me questions *about the breakup* he said "I don't want to know anything I just want to enjoy your company".

Oh honey, no. And I understand to an extent, but like I told him everything he didn't know about me, everything I didn't know about him, and he still refused to tell me why he is getting a divorce or answer any questions or ask me any questions. I had to slam my fork and knife down and tell him he needed to participate. He refused to answer what he meant about the gender stuff. Kept asking me to tell him what I thought he was thinking but then saying no to every option. So I'm like there's nothing for me here. His response was he was in therapy for codependency so now that I knew maybe I would... Oh honey, no. I gave you more than six months to think about your beliefs on gender so that I can know whether I can be in a relationship with you, and you expect me to just accept to be in a relationship with you without having any of my emotional or conversational needs met. And I know he doesn't feel that way because he pays for dinner and open doors, but my god the red flags are red flagging.

Like I literally felt like a blow up doll at some point not because he was being an asshole but because he really knows absolutely nothing about me but has spun up some wild fantasy about us being soul mates. He asked me 4x whether there was still a chance. After I told him how sick I was and how he had been completely lost in his own world he still expected me to continue dating him. And he didn't even apologize, it was just like an assumption that "our love could conquer anything" and he would do better next time. Ok well why did you get a divorce? "WeEeElLlL I don't know want to sound like I'm complaining", full stop, stares t me for two minutes without blinking.

Anyways, it was a really horrible dinner. I got no answers to any questions about what the fuck was going on, other than that he believes he is co-dependent (likely the fixer). Does codependency explain the complete and total refusal to provide your partner with the basic information they need to make basic relationship decisions? I know it would explain why he might be afraid to share his opinion, but how can you think we're soul mates of you are afraid to have a real conversation with me? Does codependency cause delusional or magical thinking when it comes to relationship?

Cuz the other option is he's just really stupid. Like with the gender stuff. He asked me why I wanted to know, and I said I would want to know anyone's opinion about it but obviously his because we're dating it's normal to want to know more. He acted like it was weird to want to know your partner's opinions about serious topics. He asked why I asked the same question a lot. Well, it's because you don't answer the question and I need to know the answer because it's a deal breaker and I will leave if you don't answer. Only two questions he asked me. He showed zero awareness of how unhealthy the dynamic he still kept trying to impose was. He claims to be in love with my intelligence, but quite frankly that's impossible. I tried to see if there was a hidden world within him but the best I got was "I have thoughts but I'm completely incapable of telling you what any of those thoughts are".

Sorry for the rant, I just feel on the one hand like I've encountered an alien at the local zoo, but also on the other hand like maybe I could have handled this better or with more compassion. My instinct to protect myself took over several times and I needed to make it as clear as possible that in my mind I do not believe we're in a relationship or that we know each other very well, and that I'm not interested in learning more we're obviously incompatible.