u/millenialkpoplove

Christians and evangelicals love to claim that they are pro life and how if someone doesn’t want an un planned kid they should give up the child to adoption and the so called pro lifers always sound like they will take care of the unwanted kid. Well we all know they won’t; and to me they are only pro life to punish people for daring to enjoy having intercourse because to them; abortion is avoiding Gods punishment to continue to enjoy having intercourse without consequence so in their eyes, the child is proof of their eternal shame and punishment. Pro lifers are not pro life; it is pro punishment in their eyes which is also why they want to get rid of birth control because to them the only birth control is not having sex so it’s about punishing people with pregnancy and child rearing. So, so much for the pro lifers who just love children.

I went to an Assembly of God churches my whole life. Each election year, they always had to attack anyone expressing any identity that isn’t a straight cis male or straight cis female. They especially hated it if the youth and young adult population expressed any sort of sympathy or support or just flat out not caring to condemn others for how they live their private lives. They get so angry at youth especially for daring to assert their rights and autonomy and call it rebelling against God and those of you who might say “Remember not all Christian’s are hateful bigots”, well I wish that were true but why isn’t the same defense being deployed when it’s reverse when some sort of Christian and evangelical pastor or leadership openly expresses hateful garbage against those who are not straight cis male or female and choose to live their life out in the open. That’s also why I left evangelical faith and Christianity as a whole because the bigots will not let anyone live in peace unless we comply with their demands.

I have been seeing a therapist for the past few months ever since I learned I was intersex. However; I ordered my old hospital to send me all of my patient information and I had to ask twice and it took my therapist intervention to obtain the entirety of my records and not the 50 pages they sent me that obtains gaps of information. Then after my therapist contacted them; they sent him the additional information and he sent it to me which was another 76 pages which included discussions between my parents and the doctors and the team of doctors. Well, in the documents was my first test which said I had 46xy digeorge syndrome but then later on a doctor recommended to my mom I see an endocrinologist but my parents never sent me to see one. Now I don’t know how to confront my parents because I have a hormonal imbalance where my body produces more estrogen than testosterone and I am 5’4 which is short for an amab. Right I’m currently in the process of being referred to an endocrinologist by my doctor because I have an intersex condition along this so called digeorge syndrome.

If they don’t understand something, it’s demonic or demonic influence. If a tv show like demon hunters have actual demons or any mention of it, oh no it’s demonic. If it has evolution like pokemon oh no, we must not let our kids learn about it even if it’s subtle. If it has witchcraft even if the show or movie is not showing true witchcraft like Harry Potter, nope can’t watch it because it opens the doors to being influenced by the devil. Oh if a show has an lgbtq character we can’t show it because its influence their otherwise cis straight child to be not straight and they can’t handle that. or anything that makes a Christian look like the bad guy or a bigot, nope can’t show it because of “not all Christian’s” are bigots. Not just from Christian’s but those who get mad when something makes all Christian’s as the bad guy in media, oh no can’t show that because apparently it’s a generalization and just as bad as the bigots.

Since I left the church and Christianity overall, I realized what is unique in the American Protestant churches especially evangelical movements is that they heavily preach how the world is ending and how supporting Israel is such a major talking point to them. Like I’m sick of it honestly and end times enthusiasm is just a faster way to radicalize someone who was just a normal moderate follower into a “soldier for Christ”. I can’t believe I wasted my time in the church because I honestly believed bible prophecy was real and the world is ending so why bother trying to fix the environment and care at all about climate change. But now I’m completely opposite of how I was radicalized.

I’m currently watching the next prince so far on Netflix and I’m loving it so far, to me it’s like a mix of fairytale with some reality mixed in on some social issues which I like. Like it’s a fantasy with a mix of reality and I apologize in advance as I’m new to this sub so I don’t know if the next prince has been discussed as it is barely becoming available in North America.

I love bl dramas and always have, but I was just curious how they started to become mainstream.

I am in my 30s and I’m intersex, and I’m American and I found out later in life that my body produces more estrogen than testosterone. Well since maybe earlier this year I started to experience period like symptoms or at least noticing them. Like I get cramping, Nausea and now that I’m my 30s, hot flashes and the nausea and cramping almost always occur at the end of the month. Right now, I’m in the process of getting checked out by my doctors to see if I have some other condition that is effecting my hormones. So to give you some background, as a child my doctors said I had digeorge syndrome despite having all the classic signs of a cleft palate, low blood platelets and a heart defect, yet they never performed any genetic testing to confirm chromosome 22 deletion or known as digeorge syndrome. So now as an older adult; that diagnosis looks to be either false or some other condition I have was totally overlooked because they never checked my hormones as a kid and they never checked my endocrine system. So now I’m getting a full check on my health to see if something was overlooked but right it feels like I’m living in hell with hot flashes and my period like symptoms.

I was raised in the Pentecostal Assemblies of God movement and I’ve never been religious even when I was in the movement myself. Yet, whenever I would listen to non Christian music like kpop or even Spanish secular music; I would always get my parents or some older boomer or Gen Xer lecture me about how I should not listen to that because I’m opening myself up to worldly music and since we live in a fallen world, everything is inherently demonically influenced even if it is not directly stated. Like I wasn’t allowed to listen to Black Sabbath or Queen or even watch Pokemon because of evolution or Harry Potter or Hocus Pocus because it has witchcraft in it. Like even now I watch a lot of k dramas and Thai boys love tv shows and they get mad at me because it’s the same people who complained about kids being influenced by the world to be anything other than straight cis male or female.Now that I’m out I don’t care if my family or other Christians get offended by my choice in music or movies or tv shows. I’m consuming as much of pop culture as I possibly can and I feel so much better and happier about myself.

Most of us know by now that science proves that there are more than two genders but I would like to know why do some Christian groups still believe there are only two genders, male and female and try to force anyone into a binary box.

I noticed that even among those of us who are deconstructing, there are some of us who get offended by absolutes and “lumping “ especially when certain issues of bigotry and just backwards beliefs are specifically tied to Christian and evangelicals and yet you get some people defending them with the “not all Christian’s” and want to shut you down and not here your experiences as to why you are asking such an absolutist question.

So let me explain, I started deconstruction this year and now that I’m thinking for myself; I feel like I’m finally out of some weird time loop. I felt like was frozen in time while I was always in the evangelical community; like I was stuck in some weird dystopian sci fi movie like the matrix almost.

So my reasons for leaving is that I found out this year after being a 32 year old amab, was that I am intersex. I have been suffering a hormonal imbalance for years and didn’t even know it, my parents and family and community all thought I was just some crazy nut case wanting to be female. Well after finally having a doctor and therapist believe me, and running genetic testing and testing everything, I found out I’m neither male or female. For some reason my body produces more estrogen than testosterone and I was highly feminized and I have symptoms on a monthly basis much like a woman’s cycle. Yet, my family and community continue to deny what is going on and insist I’m just crazy and just need to admit I’m just a male. So that was my final straw and I left and I’m no longer evangelical and no longer Christian.

Like I noticed that even when it came to the dinosaurs, they teach they didn’t go extinct but they somehow survived because God willed it and then they evolved into the modern birds. Then with gender they are clearly wrong when it comes to only their being two genders when science proves there is not two genders and of course of me that I am intersex but look male. It’s like they would rather fight the entire world than admit to following a wrong belief. Honestly I feel it comes down to that because the boomers and older generations were raised in it and were forced into a life of servitude, now that they are the elders, they feel they finally earned the privilege and deference of being served and they will do anything to protect their status and that’s how they train the next generations in the evangelical faith.

So as I grew up in the church I noticed more and more how evangelicals and other Pentecostal movements are obsessed with hierarchy. It’s God first, then pastor, deacon, board members, then congregation and then in the home and outside church it’s man, woman, child, singles and everyone else. Then one common thing I noticed is they never seem to realize that just because they support hierarchy they think they will never be at the bottom of that hierarchy. So I don’t get why they are so obsessed with hierarchy if most of them will end up at the bottom like the rest of us.

Like evangelical and Pentecostal churches like to preach about saving yourself for marriage and when a person gets pregnant they go on a scarlet letter shame routine. Unless it’s a pastors son or connected to someone important, the leadership buries it and tries to silence those from posting about it on social media or worse law enforcement. Then when they are eventually exposed for not adhering to the purity culture they claim they are being persecuted. I’ve seen this time and time again, after finding out some preachers son got multiple women pregnant the church drove them out and worked over time to make sure no one talked about it. Apparently purity culture does not apply to church leadership.

I noticed that in a lot of evangelical commentaries and circles, that I notice that when they espouse a view that is not popular and even downright discriminatory, disrespectful and downright mean towards any group of people they don’t like like, or ideas like people not getting married before having safe intercourse and possibly enjoying it for anyone of any gender and especially the same gender. I’m not advocating to just have intercourse all the time as long as one is safe about it. It’s like they prepare themselves for debates and arguments to be smug when they “win” and have the final say in an “argument” against the people they don’t like, but what they are not prepared for, is being ignored and left behind. They would rather argue and risk their relationships for their views than be ignored and sidelined. For most us, we are tired of arguing with them especially in public so if we don’t give them the attention they crave, they spiral into a rampage at how dare we choose our sanity and ignore them even online. Why?

So growing up i was always told to remain pure for marriage and then finding out I am LGBTQ and more specifically gay and transgender well that went out the window. Well I just wonder why evangelical churches think that they have no reason to change to attract more people into their churches. They always complain of how the people are not attending church anymore but the churches or people in it refuse to self reflect and ask themselves why the people are leaving and refusing to attend. For me what did it was their transphobia and discrimination and although they were smart enough to call out discrimination or open bigots, they don’t do enough to stop bigots from running things and that’s what I find horrid and they still have that same bigot on staff 20 years later and churches still wonder why no one attends their church except the elderly and those that agree with said bigot.

So I grew up in the church and I always hear evangelicals and by extension Catholics and other Protestants rail against pride month and how everyone these days is LGBTQ. For me I have come to the conclusion that the reason they do this is because we the unrepentant sinners are living happy lives going unpunished by God for daring to enjoy our lives and in the dirty minds of the evangelical, we are enjoying having intercourse with the same gender despite their bible forbidding men from lying with other men as like a woman. And men becoming cross dressers despite the bible calling it an offense for a man to dress as a woman. So the more the world celebrates it instead of shunning us like the scarlet letter because they can’t stone us anymore, they go on a tirade on how the world supports us and they are not being allowed to shun us and discriminate against us by either sabotaging our jobs by getting us fired or thrown out of our families. But that’s just my views

For me after 32 years of being amab, I realized I was free when I stopped shaming myself for being transgender and stopped shaming myself internally for finding other amabs cute or hot. Also the last big one for me was coming to the realization that the world will never end, that one right there I felt a big sigh of relief because that is where fundie culture thrives is people honestly believing prophecy is real and that they hear the voice of god in their head telling them to do this or that or date this person because god put them in your life.