u/mintchoco_00

I (23F) have anxious attachment, and I know that's playing a role here. My boyfriend (22M) and I were together for almost four years in a long-distance relationship.

A few weeks ago, he went away for a training program. From the very first day he kept talking about different women there. One teacher was "pretty," then there was an older woman he mentioned, then stories about girls who talked to him and girls he talked to. He even listened to one girl's relationship problems, which was completely out of character for him. When I asked why, he said it was because I'd find the story interesting. I already had trust issues, so all of this made my anxiety much worse. And the trust issues are because of him

At the same time, I was overwhelmed with exam stress, PMS, and other personal issues. I was emotionally exhausted and, in a moment of panic, I brought up breaking up. Looking back, I don't think I genuinely wanted to end the relationship. I was just overwhelmed. The next day I realized I didn't want us to break up.

Later that day my anxiety became unbearable. I rarely ask him for emotional support because he doesn't really like dealing with emotions, but I thought once in a while would be okay. I called him and said, "Babe, I need you. Can you just talk to me?" Instead of comforting me, he said things like, "You stay at home and do nothing," and "Go study." He had just come back after spending the day with his friends and it was his day off, so it hurt even more. I ended the call by saying, "Okay, I won't disturb you anymore." He replied, "I'll handle you tomorrow."

The next day he called once. I didn't pick up. He called again that night, so I answered. The conversation was completely normal and lasted maybe two minutes. I wasn't rude or cold. Then from the very next day... nothing. No calls. No messages.

For the first time in almost four years, I didn't call either. I've always been the one begging, reaching out, fixing things, because I couldn't bear losing him. This time I didn't want to boost his ego by once again being the one who came back after he treated me badly.

It's been 8 days now. The confusing part is that he's extremely avoidant and has ghosted before, then returned acting like nothing happened. So part of me still keeps hoping he'll come back. But this time feels different.

Every no contact he keeps posting gym updates on WhatsApp like everything is normal but this time he didn’t do that . I can see his profile picture but I wonder if he deleted my number. We were sharing our locations through Find My. (His idea)For my own mental health, I stopped sharing mine, but I could still see his. The next day he stopped sharing his too. I posted a video of my bestie(f) suddenly he changed his pfp .

Then on Day 2, through my friend's account (because we don't follow each other anymore and his account is private), I saw he had followed four girls from his training. Since then his followers and following have kept increasing.

Meanwhile I'm barely eating, barely sleeping, vomiting from anxiety sometimes, and I can't focus on my studies. I'm constantly checking whether he's online on WhatsApp, checking if his location changes, and asking people to see if he's followed more girls. I don't even recognize myself anymore, and honestly I'm ashamed of how obsessive I've become.

It feels like he moved on in seconds while I'm still trying to survive the breakup. My brain keeps telling me our three year relationship meant nothing to him and that he's already talking to other girls.

I know nobody here can tell me exactly what he's thinking, but I'd really like to hear from people with avoidant attachment or anyone who's been in a similar situation. What do you think he's feeling? Do avoidants usually come back after going silent like this?I don’t wanna be obsessed but I can’t stop . I am constantly keeping my hopes up.

I 23/F have anxious attachment, and I know that's playing a role here. My boyfriend 22/M and I were together for almost three years in a long-distance relationship.

A few weeks ago, he went away for a training program. From the very first day he kept talking about different women there. One teacher was "pretty," then there was an older woman he mentioned, then stories about girls who talked to him and girls he talked to. He even listened to one girl's relationship problems, which was completely out of character for him. When I asked why, he said it was because I'd find the story interesting. I already had trust issues, so all of this made my anxiety much worse.

At the same time, I was overwhelmed with exam stress, Period , and other personal issues. I was emotionally exhausted and, in a moment of panic, I brought up breaking up. Looking back, I don't think I genuinely wanted to end the relationship. I was just overwhelmed. The next day I realized I didn't want us to break up.

Later that day my anxiety became unbearable. I rarely ask him for emotional support because he doesn't really like dealing with emotions, but I thought once in a while would be okay. I called him and said, "Babe, I need you. Can you just talk to me?" Instead of comforting me, he said things like, "You stay at home and do nothing," and "Go study." He had just come back after spending the day with his friends and it was his day off, so it hurt even more. I ended the call by saying, "Okay, I won't disturb you anymore." He replied, "I'll handle you tomorrow."

The next day he called once. I didn't pick up. He called again that night, so I answered. The conversation was completely normal and lasted maybe two minutes. I wasn't rude or cold. Then from the very next day... nothing. No calls. No messages.

For the first time in almost three years, I didn't call either. I've always been the one begging, reaching out, fixing things, because I couldn't bear losing him. This time I didn't want to boost his ego by once again being the one who came back after he treated me badly.

It's been 8 days now. The confusing part is that he's extremely avoidant and has ghosted before, then returned acting like nothing happened. So part of me still keeps hoping he'll come back. But this time feels different.

He used to keeps posting gym updates on WhatsApp like everything was normal. He’s not doing that.so I wondered if he deleted my number. We were sharing our locations through Find My. For my own mental health, I stopped sharing mine, but I could still see his. The next day he stopped sharing his too.

Then on Day 2, through my friend's account (because we don't follow each other anymore and his account is private), I saw he had followed four girls from his training. Since then his followers and following have kept increasing.

Meanwhile I'm barely eating, barely sleeping, vomiting from anxiety sometimes, and I can't focus on my studies. I'm constantly checking whether he's online on WhatsApp. He is and for a long time . I posted a video of mine nd my bestie(f) suddenly i saw him changing his pfp of whatsapp. I am taking everything as hints its frustrating.

It feels like he moved on in seconds while I'm still trying to survive the breakup. My brain keeps telling me our three year relationship meant nothing to him and that he's already talking to other girls.

I know nobody here can tell me exactly what he's thinking, but I'd really like to hear from people with avoidant attachment or anyone who's been in a similar situation. What do you think he's feeling? Do avoidants usually come back after going silent like this? I want him to regret a little how can i do that?

I (23F) have anxious attachment, and I know that's playing a role here. My boyfriend (22M) and I were together for almost three years in a long-distance relationship.

A few weeks ago, he went away for a training program. From the very first day he kept talking about different women there. One teacher was "pretty," then there was an older woman he mentioned, then stories about girls who talked to him and girls he talked to. He even listened to one girl's relationship problems, which was completely out of character for him. When I asked why, he said it was because I'd find the story interesting. I already had trust issues, so all of this made my anxiety much worse.

At the same time, I was overwhelmed with exam stress, Period , and other personal issues. I was emotionally exhausted and, in a moment of panic, I brought up breaking up. Looking back, I don't think I genuinely wanted to end the relationship. I was just overwhelmed. The next day I realized I didn't want us to break up.

Later that day my anxiety became unbearable. I rarely ask him for emotional support because he doesn't really like dealing with emotions, but I thought once in a while would be okay. I called him and said, "Babe, I need you. Can you just talk to me?" Instead of comforting me, he said things like, "You stay at home and do nothing," and "Go study." He had just come back after spending the day with his friends and it was his day off, so it hurt even more. I ended the call by saying, "Okay, I won't disturb you anymore." He replied, "I'll handle you tomorrow."

The next day he called once. I didn't pick up. He called again that night, so I answered. The conversation was completely normal and lasted maybe two minutes. I wasn't rude or cold. Then from the very next day... nothing. No calls. No messages.

For the first time in almost three years, I didn't call either. I've always been the one begging, reaching out, fixing things, because I couldn't bear losing him. This time I didn't want to boost his ego by once again being the one who came back after he treated me badly.

It's been 8 days now. The confusing part is that he's extremely avoidant and has ghosted before, then returned acting like nothing happened. So part of me still keeps hoping he'll come back. But this time feels different.

He used to keeps posting gym updates on WhatsApp like everything was normal. He’s not doing that.so I wondered if he deleted my number. We were sharing our locations through Find My. For my own mental health, I stopped sharing mine, but I could still see his. The next day he stopped sharing his too.

Then on Day 2, through my friend's account (because we don't follow each other anymore and his account is private), I saw he had followed four girls from his training. Since then his followers and following have kept increasing.

Meanwhile I'm barely eating, barely sleeping, vomiting from anxiety sometimes, and I can't focus on my studies. I'm constantly checking whether he's online on WhatsApp. He is and for a long time . I posted a video of mine nd my bestie(f) suddenly i saw him changing his pfp of whatsapp. I am taking everything as hints its frustrating.

It feels like he moved on in seconds while I'm still trying to survive the breakup. My brain keeps telling me our three year relationship meant nothing to him and that he's already talking to other girls.

I know nobody here can tell me exactly what he's thinking, but I'd really like to hear from people with avoidant attachment or anyone who's been in a similar situation. What do you think he's feeling? Do avoidants usually come back after going silent like this? I want him to regret a little how can i do that?