u/neonjoji

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It hurts me to write this, but right now I am truly unhappy. I did some MCAT research and saw that it takes a lot to get accommodations. documents, pricey neuropsych exams, and the hope of getting them approved. This rabbit hole has led me to spiral and cause all these feelings. And then, there’s the studying that will take time and sacrifice. On top of that, needing to rack up volunteer hours, clinical hours, and non-clinical hours. I worry my body and mind won’t be able to handle that demand, even though I want it too. I wonder a lot whether I’m scared or at my limit. I want to become a doctor, make a change in my community, and make patients who were like me feel safe, but I don’t think I can make it.

I’m not naturally smart. It takes me forever to memorize things. I have to hope my meds will work, I have to hope I won’t fall into a depression episode. I find that I’m too stubborn to try a different field because of how poor my family is. If I could become a therapist, I would, but the amount of debt I would be in without a decent income would be hard. At least, if I get into med school, being a doctor would let me push through and know I will get a good income to pay it back. Obviously, this is with the assumption that I won’t give up mid-residency or stop after med school.

I’m not sure if I’m at my limit, or if I’m feeling the weed out. I feel like I’m being pushed out. I’m scared of failing myself, and I’m scared of giving up my goals. This whole path is isolating and lonely. I wish I had someone I could talk to and vent to. I find that I don’t have many people who can truly understand.

I’m trying to think one step at a time, but with my position, I have to think ahead, which forces me to take multiple steps. I start Gen Chem II this week for the summer, and I’m anxious. I’m scared of failing, I’m scared of giving up.

I hate how sudden this feeling has come up. There are moments where I feel OK and have the inkling of confidence I will make it. And, there are times when the big wave of fear and stress comes, and I feel that I can't make it.

I'm not interested in doing food banks or homeless shelters, as much as it makes me feel horrible. I'm just not interested in that, unless I do it with a friend. The idea of helping people through issues on a crisis text line stands out to me a lot more, and being with animals and helping people get matched with an animal and find it a home feels great.

I'm also going to do other mini volunteering projects, like making cards for children in hospitals. Maybe I will tutor children as well!

edit: read the wiki and saw crisis text line was good! also saw humane society had animals.

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This is an OfficeJet Pro 8135e. I recently moved it from one location to another. It's been almost a month since the move. I'm not sure how long this error has been here. I've chatted with reps, and they weren't able to solve my issue. They probably don't even know what they're doing. They mentioned that merchandise (I think) support would reach out via email, but they never did.

What to do? I tried all the steps with tapping the back arrow 4 times or however many times. I unplugged it for a minute, plugged it back in, cleaned the cartridges, left the cartridges out, turned the printer on/off, and then put them back in, did a hard reset, and now it's stuck on 'preparing.' Nothing seems to work. It's kind of crazy how they can brick something like this.

I use the ink HP ships with the subscription.

I’m pretty sure I’m writing this because I’ve reached some part of acceptance, but will forever be in bereavement. Some of these are just basic common sense to people, but I’m still going to write about them. Here we go!

STAY MOTIVATED: 

• Being smart is not the only thing that top-institution students have in common; it’s the motivation as well. Being able to grind consistently, have the stamina, and get shit done is how you get and stay at the top. There’s no excuse, and if there is, make it one and done. The field is too competitive for weaknesses. Though, of course, there are exceptions with some applicants, just remember they’re not the norm.
• The biggest issue for me was my lack of consistent motivation. Sure, my ADHD played a huge part, but schools don’t want to see this as a reliability issue. If you fuck up one semester, let that be it (and don’t let it be recent either). You still have room to create an explanation while still showing consistent work moving forward from that.
• I ended up completing all my essays a couple of days prior to the deadline (aside from a few), and maybe they weren’t bad, but I didn't put enough thought into them because of how unhappy I was at the time. My common app essay was my strongest essay, but I do know a good amount of schools don’t evaluate these.

FOR INCOMING FIRST YEARS, CHOOSE A COLLEGE THAT YOU WOULD BE OK WITH STAYING AT (top advice said by many, don’t ignore it, you’re not an exception): 

• I made the unfortunate, big-ass mistake of going to a college with little to no resources + social life, and that I didn't want to attend at all, so I can have easier reasons to transfer. Do not do this. You will grow to resent your time being there, and you will struggle to make friends because you’re not connected to the idea of staying there. You will also come off as bitter in your transfer essays, no matter how much you think you won’t. If you choose a college where you’re happy to be, you’ll feel more relieved and less pressured, and maybe you’ll end up staying or feel at ease staying.

 

DON'T WASTE TIME TRYING TO START BUSINESSES/NON-PROFITS FOR APPLICATION-SAKE:

• This will waste time, and AOs may be able to tell. You’re better off joining a club and establishing a connection with your campus to show AOs that you’re able to continue to thrive if they were to accept or deny you.

DON'T AVOID RESOURCES THAT ARE THERE TO HELP YOU:

• Just don’t. I don't have much to add, but I did this a bit because I was worried about getting overwhelmed and procrastinating even more. Also, don’t procrastinate.

IF YOU’RE GIVEN OPPORTUNITIES, TAKE THEM:

• I had the opportunity my first year to join a research lab, but i was worried of not succeeding + ngl, the professor was being dramatic in worrying i would ‘poison the well’ even though he didn’t know me (this scared me off), but he probably had bad experiences with past students. and it was only 4 hours a week. but! don’t scare yourself out of opportunities. if you’re scared, do it scared and you’ll find yourself succeeding often more than not. it just takes adaptation and confidence, people will be there to guide you.

DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHER APPLICANTS TO THE POINT WHERE YOU SABOTAGE YOUR CHANCES:

• Some people just have resources and live a tad bit better, but that shouldn’t be the reason that you lose hope in your chances. Get the hell up and continue to grind. Your work will pay off. You don’t have to win all the awards or become an Olympian, but you do have to be your best self, and maybe you’ll end up being and getting those things.

DON'T FANTASIZE, GET UP AND MAKE IT HAPPEN:

• It’s easier to say that you’re going to join a research lab and become the president of a club, but be realistic in the effort this all takes. Don't double down when you’re ghosted by five research labs; keep reaching out until you get somewhere. And don't feel bad about cold-emailing; that’s how things work.

If someone reads your application file because you want feedback, prepare for the truth (good or bad), not what you expect to hear. Accept the opinions and work towards bettering what you can.

If you’re low-income (like me), make sure to apply to a good number of need-blind schools. I’m assuming the last thing a need aware school would like to do is have a full-pay student transfer out and have a full-need applicant transfer in (unless you’re lateral or extraordinary). College is a business, they will lose money.

I accepted the fact that in this part of my life, being a part of the best won’t be for me, but maybe in grad or med school it will be. I do wish I had the undergrad experience at a top school, but I have to accept the fact that I won’t. At the end of the day, we’re all coping, I’m hella coping these days: “Maybe I wouldn’t have succeeded at NU, that’s why they rejected me,” “The rejection is a blessing in disguise,” “It’s a sign I shouldn’t be out there,” “If I got in and attended these schools, maybe my motivation wouldn’t have changed just because I’m somewhere better.”

Who knows, maybe it’s true. I’m glad I don’t have to find out, I guess. It is evident in a lot of cases why I got rejected, though.

To whoever did succeed in the transfer cycle, I wish you all the best, and great job, you 100% deserve it.

EXTRA CONTEXT:

STATS:

HS GPA: 3.4 W

GPA: 3.61

FGLI

Additional context I submitted: Abuse from family, hospitalizations, and undiagnosed ADHD (diagnosed in my junior year of high school).

FIRST YEAR CYCLE (only listing target/reach schools) (3.4 W):

• University of Connecticut: Accepted
• UMass Amherst: Accepted
• UVM: Waitlisted (offered acceptance).
• Wellesley: Rejected
• Brown: Rejected

• Tufts (ED1): Rejected (was my top choice)

• Michigan State University: Accepted

• Questbridge: Rejected

SOPHOMORE TRANSFER CYCLE (applied with 4.0 GPA, ended with 3.83 GPA):

• Smith: Rejected
• Yale: Rejected
• Tufts: Rejected
• Scripps: Rejected
• UChicago: Rejected
• Northwestern: Rejected
• BU: Rejected
• Mount Holyoke: Rejected

JUNIOR TRANSFER CYCLE (applied with 3.71 GPA, ended with 3.66 GPA):

• Kenyon: Rejected
• Wesleyan: Rejected
• Wellesley: Rejected

Yeah, you can say I didn’t apply to enough schools, but I was picky in where I wanted to go.

I don’t expect nice comments, but I hope this helps the people I’m writing this post for.

They seem to have a generous return window. I read reviews mentioning that it’s horrible for its price (doesn’t mimic paper, better options for cheaper prices, scratches too quickly, etc). I also read that it’s great and the closest to paper feel. What are everyone’s opinions?

They seem to have a generous return window. Though, I read reviews mentioning that it’s horrible for its price (doesn’t mimic paper, better options for cheaper prices, scratches too quickly, etc). I also read that it’s great and the closest to paper feel. What are everyone’s opinions?

i live in evanston, i know there’s shootings but it’s mostly by the border. i’m not worried about them because i assume they’re targeted. i never once felt unsafe in evanston. i was excited to bring friends to my town, but with memorial day coming up, they switched up and now they’re worried that they’ll get shot up. they rather go to woodfield mall or something.

i mentioned that i was so excited to take them to joyyee but i was told its not a reason to get shot up.

i know crime can be iffy sometimes, but are they being logical about this? by the way, we go to undergrad in chicago.

update: not going up to where they are. one of my others friends who was originally coming will come by! she doesn’t like how they treat us anyway. i can’t wait to show her evanston and my home!!

i’m low-income, -1500, thinking about applying for transfer. the most i would want to pay out of pocket is what the subsidized/unsubsidized can cover.

edit: it seems 100% full need is only for ED applicants?