I am a 41yo easy going gay dude living in Vancouver, Canada. I only have gay friends, and trying to make friends with straight/bi bros as well. Just discuss anything about sports, fun plans, life in general..
I’m 41, and I’ve been finding dating significantly harder than it was in my 30s.
It feels like my dating pool has shrunk considerably. I come across fewer men around my age who seem to be looking for a genuine, long-term relationship, and the apps often feel much more geared toward casual encounters than meaningful connections. Even when I meet someone I’m genuinely interested in, things rarely seem to progress.
Outside of dating, I have a stable career, take good care of myself, stay active, and I’m in good shape. I also have a loving family, my parents are very supportive of everything I do and I come from a very happy family myself. I know none of those things guarantee a relationship, but I can’t help feeling that finding someone compatible has become much more difficult as I’ve gotten older.
One factor that has always made dating more challenging for me is that I’m South Asian. While this isn’t something that started after turning 40, it often feels like people make assumptions or rely on stereotypes and decide based solely on a few photos, without taking the time to get to know me. Whether that’s been your experience or not, it’s certainly been part of mine.
I’m curious whether other gay men over 40 have had a similar experience, or if this is just my perception.
Has dating become harder for you after 40? If so, what do you think has changed? And if you found a fulfilling relationship after 40, what do you think made the difference?
I’m a gay man in my early 40s ( I am 41 to be precise), and I’ve been finding dating significantly harder than it was in my 30s.
It feels like my dating pool has shrunk dramatically. I’m seeing fewer people around my age who are looking for a genuine relationship, and dating apps seem to be driven more by casual connections than meaningful ones. Even when I do meet someone I’m interested in, it rarely seems to go anywhere.
I take care of myself, have a stable career, stay active, I’m pretty good shape, fairly athletic, and genuinely want a long-term relationship, but it’s started to feel like finding the right person has become much more difficult with age.
I’m curious if other gay men over 40 have experienced the same thing, or if this is just my perception.
Has dating actually become harder for you after 40? If so, what do you think has changed? And if you’ve managed to find a great relationship after 40, what made the difference?