u/newstartreddit1234

I (25M) am someone who really wants a relationship. And usually talking goes great, but then I’ll get told it’s going by too fast. I genuinely feel confused, because if I don’t show interest and ask questions, then it’ll appear like I don’t care (don’t worry I’m not saying I love you first). But when I do actively engage, I’m pushing too much? How do people pace things so it doesn’t feel like rushing while simultaneously conveying interest and not letting it wither away? For context, I can get into conversations for people with hours, they tell me how much they’re enjoying it, and then eventually I get told that it’s being rushed. Since this keeps happening, I must be doing something wrong, but I’m not sure what. Should I just not lightly flirt and instead wait for them to do it? Should I take longer to respond instead of within 5 min? Should I be less open about myself and just drip feed it? I know it sounds dumb but idk what else to do. What do you guys do?

Hello, my name is Steve and I live in New York City. I am a PhD student working in the city for the next 4 years. If you want to hear an otherwise externally reserved man geek out about his projects like it's Christmas, you've come to the right place :). I'm really excited to meet you! If you are interested, please do not hesitate to DM me (even if you just wanna roast this post go for it). I promise I will respond even if you send a message (imagine lol) a month from now. I am an open book with those I trust, and since my goal is to eventually trust you more than anyone, consider me as transparent as glass. I'm also an INTP if that helps. Also if something you're curious about isn't listed here, I promise I'm not shy to share! My end goal is a monogamous relationship that lasts forever.

When it comes to location, my main criteria is just that I should be able to get to you and return to the city within a day, NJ and PA also work for me. I am more than willing to be patient before meeting up as I REALLY want us to know each other. I want to be able to talk to you about anything and for you to feel comfortable enough to do the same. What matters to me about you is honesty, integrity, and communication. I know this comes off a bit formal, but guarantee I'm also a goofball with a sense of humor. If you're trying to think of an icebreaker, feel free to send me something unhinged and hilarious. Or something heartfelt that describes you. Or anything really! What I care about is knowing you! Also, if I don't include a piece of information you're super curious about in here, please ask :)

About me: I also do work as a property manager and I freelance write. Creative writing is passion of mine. When that spark is there, I just can't stop. I enjoy gaming, Transformers, Star Wars, Chess (2000 bullet but washed), and experiencing new things. Despite my hope that we share interests, I am excited to learn about the interests we don't share and then experience them with you! I hope that you and I share new things, that we can enjoy each other's company, and most importantly be able to vibe when times are not so fast paced. I'm not a perfectionist, I just want to grow with you. I am 6' 0", Caucasian (Mediterranean ancestry), and in decent shape. I am happy to exchange pics. I'm no Adonis but I do try to maintain shape (Taco Bell addiction notwithstanding). I rarely drink and I don't smoke or do drugs. If you do that stuff, I don't mind (so long as it’s not destructive), I simply just don't have an interest in personally partaking. I also do not have a preference for race, individual beauty is far more important. I am also an atheist.

About you: I'm drawn to someone who is curious, honest, and thoughtful, who can have a deep conversation and isn't afraid of healthy disagreement. I really want to be super affectionate and for the time we spend together to make us feel lighter. I'm not particular about your degree or job status. The qualities I'm looking for exist independent of those things, I'm not a LinkedIn recruiter lol. My dream is to one day start a family that loves each other for who they are at their core. Not anytime soon, but with the right woman who is hopefully reading this right now :). I want to be equal partners, and if you ever need to call me out, I will appreciate you all the more for it. See you soon <3.

I know that people are gonna see that I live in NYC and tell me then that the sheer population of people means that meeting new people is a foregone conclusion. However, I’ve lived here for 25 years and I haven’t passively achieved that goal, so clearly I need to do something different. I’d like to make some friends, possibly even find a gf, and I’m wondering how to do it in person. Dating apps are a nightmare and my previous relationships were quirks of history rather than a repeatable method I used. I’m into nerdy things, I like board games and arcade games. I’m also a history student. I suppose going to an arcade seems obvious, but a lot of people just want to be left to their own devices. So how do I know when to approach people? What venue makes socializing acceptable? Thanks for any responses.

Hello, my name is Steve and I live in New York City. I am a PhD student working in the city for the next 4 years. If you want to hear an otherwise externally reserved man geek out about his projects like it's Christmas, you've come to the right place :). I'm really excited to meet you! If you are interested, please do not hesitate to DM me (even if you just wanna roast this post go for it). I promise I will respond even if you send a message (imagine lol) a month from now. I am an open book with those I trust, and since my goal is to eventually trust you more than anyone, consider me as transparent as glass. I'm also an INTP if that helps. Also if something you're curious about isn't listed here, I promise I'm not shy to share! My end goal is a monogamous relationship that lasts forever.

When it comes to location, my main criteria is just that I should be able to get to you and return to the city within a day, NJ and PA also work for me. I am more than willing to be patient before meeting up as I REALLY want us to know each other. I want to be able to talk to you about anything and for you to feel comfortable enough to do the same. What matters to me about you is honesty, integrity, and communication. I know this comes off a bit formal, but guarantee I'm also a goofball with a sense of humor. If you're trying to think of an icebreaker, feel free to send me something unhinged and hilarious. Or something heartfelt that describes you. Or anything really! What I care about is knowing you! Also, if I don't include a piece of information you're super curious about in here, please ask :)

About me: I also do work as a property manager and I freelance write. Creative writing is passion of mine. When that spark is there, I just can't stop. I enjoy gaming, Transformers, Star Wars, Chess (2000 bullet but washed), and experiencing new things. Despite my hope that we share interests, I am excited to learn about the interests we don't share and then experience them with you! I hope that you and I share new things, that we can enjoy each other's company, and most importantly be able to vibe when times are not so fast paced. I'm not a perfectionist, I just want to grow with you. I am 6' 0", Caucasian (Mediterranean ancestry), and in decent shape. I am happy to exchange pics. I'm no Adonis but I do try to maintain shape (Taco Bell addiction notwithstanding). I rarely drink and I don't smoke or do drugs. If you do that stuff, I don't mind (so long as it’s not destructive), I simply just don't have an interest in personally partaking. I also do not have a preference for race, individual beauty is far more important. I am also an atheist.

About you: I'm drawn to someone who is curious, honest, and thoughtful, who can have a deep conversation and isn't afraid of healthy disagreement. I really want to be super affectionate and for the time we spend together to make us feel lighter. I'm not particular about your degree or job status. The qualities I'm looking for exist independent of those things, I'm not a LinkedIn recruiter lol. My dream is to one day start a family that loves each other for who they are at their core. Not anytime soon, but with the right woman who is hopefully reading this right now :). I want to be equal partners, and if you ever need to call me out, I will appreciate you all the more for it. See you soon <3.

I respect your time so I’ll just list a few things before you read a more refined post below. I am an atheist. I would like children someday when we are financially ready. I’m reluctant to do long distance but depending on the distance I could accommodate. I love sex. 1000% only with you and obviously only when you’re comfortable but I am no eunuch lol. I also loathe ghosting and really value communication. I will hunker down and do whatever it takes to help us power through anything, but for the love of everything, please be emotionally available. I am emotionally available and will be honest with you, I really want a partner, not someone so unpredictable that I cannot reliably know if they will text me or not. Alright preamble over lol.

Hello, my name is Steve and I live in New York City. I am a PhD student working in the city for the next 4 years. If you want to hear an otherwise externally reserved man geek out about his projects like it's Christmas, you've come to the right place :). I'm really excited to meet you! If you are interested, please do not hesitate to DM me (even if you just wanna roast this post go for it). I promise I will respond even if you send a message (imagine lol) a month from now. I am an open book with those I trust, and since my goal is to eventually trust you more than anyone, consider me as transparent as glass. I'm also an INTP if that helps. Also if something you're curious about isn't listed here, I promise I'm not shy to share! My end goal is a monogamous relationship that lasts forever.

When it comes to location, my main criteria is just that I should be able to get to you and return to the city within a day, NJ and PA also work for me. I am more than willing to be patient before meeting up as I REALLY want us to know each other. I want to be able to talk to you about anything and for you to feel comfortable enough to do the same. What matters to me about you is honesty, integrity, and communication. I know this comes off a bit formal, but guarantee I'm also a goofball with a sense of humor. If you're trying to think of an icebreaker, feel free to send me something unhinged and hilarious. Or something heartfelt that describes you. Or anything really! What I care about is knowing you! Also, if I don't include a piece of information you're super curious about in here, please ask :)

About me: I also do work as a property manager and I freelance write. Creative writing is passion of mine. When that spark is there, I just can't stop. I enjoy gaming, Transformers, Star Wars, Chess (2000 bullet but washed), and experiencing new things. Despite my hope that we share interests, I am excited to learn about the interests we don't share and then experience them with you! I hope that you and I share new things, that we can enjoy each other's company, and most importantly be able to vibe when times are not so fast paced. I'm not a perfectionist, I just want to grow with you. I am 6' 0", Caucasian (Mediterranean ancestry), and in decent shape. I am happy to exchange pics. I'm no Adonis but I do try to maintain shape (Taco Bell addiction notwithstanding). I rarely drink and I don't smoke or do drugs. If you do that stuff, I don't mind (so long as it’s not destructive), I simply just don't have an interest in personally partaking. I also do not have a preference for race, individual beauty is far more important. I am also an atheist.

About you: I'm drawn to someone who is curious, honest, and thoughtful, who can have a deep conversation and isn't afraid of healthy disagreement. I really want to be super affectionate and for the time we spend together to make us feel lighter. I'm not particular about your degree or job status. The qualities I'm looking for exist independent of those things, I'm not a LinkedIn recruiter lol. My dream is to one day start a family that loves each other for who they are at their core. Not anytime soon, but with the right woman who is hopefully reading this right now :). I want to be equal partners, and if you ever need to call me out, I will appreciate you all the more for it. See you soon <3.

I understand fictional settings do not adhere to strict power scaling or physics. Authors often write with the rule of cool in mind. However, there still is some internal consistency in a universe or the stakes are meaningless. If a regular mortal beats the Hulk in a fistfight, the writers would write some explanation for how that can happen or else the Hulk’s power is meaningless. When people say “whoever the author wants” they ignore the fact that even though the author is writing the setting, they cannot just freely ignore powerscaling. Of course there are some upsets in comics and shows, but generally there is some ambiguity there where both are reasonably strong enough to fight, even if one is clearly the superior combatant despite losing. If a universe has rules where anyone can win at any time explicitly spelled out, that is one thing, but in a universe where power is a meaningful differentiation, authors must adhere to some internal consistency regarding the universe. To not do so would make it impossible to take the narrative seriously. An author’s desire for a victor is not enough, they have to justify it, even if not in highly specific ways.