u/ningus

As the title says, how do you get off the corporate Kool-Aid without tanking your career?

I’ve been in engineering consulting for 10 years. Before kids, I totally played the game: first in, last out, playing the politics, networking, and clawing for every raise and promotion.

Then I had two kids, and my whole perspective on life shifted. I just want to do my job, be a good teammate, get paid, and enjoy family life.

But the culture at work is insufferable. The fake niceness, sucking up to leadership, the cringey LinkedIn posts...just can't bring myself to care about any of it anymore. There's also an endless push to "build your brand" and remain relevant in the industry. It's not enough to just exist and do your job.

But I don't want to quit, my salary is needed, I mostly like what I do (the actual work itself) and there are decent people in the office.

So for all the corporate baddies out there, how do you protect your peace AND stay relevant? Give me all of your corporate life hacks!

***Final Edit and Update: we picked her up from school and her teacher told us she cried very little after drop off and had a great day despite this morning's fiasco. At home she was excited to tell us all about her day and showed us her colouring pages. During bedtime I asked how she was feeling and she said "medium" - which is her way of saying so-so. "I vomited 6 times! but the bus driver kept talking to me, I didn't feel better but he kept talking because I think he was trying to make me feel better, he was driving too hard but that's ok because he didnt know and its just an accident!" .... Anyway, my heart is still bruised but I'm blown away by how objective and matter of fact she's taking it. I think this is a gentle reminder that the weight we carry in parenting comes from projecting our own distress and expectations onto our kids.

**Edit 2: we put in an appeal to the school board to shorten her bus ride. While the issue of motion sickness is not addressed, a reduction from 40min to 20min or better is still a win. Changing a school route won't happen over night, if at all. So until a more acceptable bus route is available, we're going to drive her to school and make due with a complicated morning schedule.

*Edit 1: thank you so much for the kind words. For those who asked about driving, bus driving time, school location etc. It's a complicated situation where our kiddo goes to a French school with a very large catchment area and bussing is common Unfortunately, she is the first to be picked up and last dropped off. Driving her ourselves is an option that comes with a lot of friction due to in-office work requirements, being a one car household and other logistics that I can't get into the details in this post. We're going to look into a few options, including advocating for a shorter bus route, maybe some work place accommodations, and sea bands :)

Original Post: It was this morning and I'm still rattled as I type this out. Today is the first day of Junior Kindergarten (JK) and we were eligible to be bussed.

Bus driver showed up on time, she had a melt down and I had to physically put her on the bus and make her sit. She was in the front seat. We drove ahead and met the bus at the school to help her find her teacher. It's a 40min ride for her. She threw up all over herself in the bus. We forgot she had motion sickness issues.

As I was cleaning her up in the bathroom, thank God I had packed a spare set of clothes, we missed the meet and greet and photos in the yard. She cried all the way inside. There were other kids crying too so there's company I guess.

Sorry for the word vomit. I'm just sad :(

Let me just preface that im not a sahm, I'm on mat leave and will be tasked with staying at home with my two kids (5mo, 4yo) for the first time for the next 4 weeks... and I need mental health survival tips. The next four weeks has me incredibly nervous. The 4yo has always been in full time daycare during mat leave, but daycare is going on break in August. For reasons I won't go into details on, summer camp won't be an option. So this is the first time where I'll be taking care of both kids on my own for a longer period. Husband will be working in office full time. Even if he's wfh the odd day, he's fully engaged in work and cannot support. How do I keep my toddler from running me ragged? It's not that I don't like playing with her, if she were an only child, this would be a piece of cake. I want to bond with my kids, but let's just call me type A with a heavy dose of introversion, easily overstimulated, I like the quiet. I like being in control. I like a clean house. I know having kids is the opposite of that lol

My 4yo is loud, silly, goofy, sassy and will ask us to play with her non stop. It's my husband's equally playful energy that enables me to be good parent. I rarely lose my cool because he's the fun parent that does all the high energy activities.

So seeking the wisdom of sahms who make this task look easy - how do you do it? How do you split your attention, nurture, parent, preserve yourself, not fly off the handle? Is it the meal prep? Busy bins? How do you hold the boundary and tell your kids "mommy needs quiet time"?

We just moved to a new house/new city, and my almost 4yo (turning 4 this August) has been in a new daycare for a couple of weeks now (I've posted about this move in this subreddit). Unbeknownst to me until now, the daycare breaks for summer for the last three weeks of summer before JK starts. I'm also on mat leave with a 5mo. My choices are 1) stay at home with both kids for the three weeks; or 2) enroll 4yo in camp - I have full day and half day options. 4yo has been through a lot of change, she's a sensitive kid, slow to warm to people, and cries everyday at drop-off. My mom guilt is telling me three weeks at home with two kids isn't so bad. I'll have access to a car and there's plenty of kids stuff in my area like parks, community centres, library, etc. it won't be that bad, right? Or do I traumatize my kid with another change right before starting JK?

We are moving about 45min away from our current place. I'm on mat leave with my 4mo and my oldest (4yo) is in daycare, she starts JK in September in our new neighborhood.

I have a spot for the 4yo at a daycare that is attached to the new school she will eventually go to. She would only attend this new daycare for 5 weeks before JK begins in September.

She's a sensitive kid. She's been crying and clinging every day at dropoff since her baby brother was born. Crying every night for the last couple weeks since we started packing boxes. This is despite all efforts to hype her up about the "big new house".

On the other hand,. I NEED hands-free time to get our new home set up, and having two kids around for over a month will be the end of my sanity...

Looking for some advice or similar experiences!

We are moving to a new house in a week, about 45min away from our current place. I'm also on mat leave with a newborn (4mo) and my oldest (almost 4yo) is in daycare; and is starting JK in September in our new neighborhood.

I have a spot secured for my oldest at a daycare that is attached to the new elementary school she will eventually be attending. She would only attend this new daycare for exactly 5 weeks before JK officially begins.

Here's the thing: she is a sensitive kid. She's been crying and clinging every day at dropoff since her baby brother was born. Crying every night for the last couple weeks since we started packing boxes. This is despite all efforts to hype her up about the "big new house".

On the other hand, I am on mat leave managing a newborn, and in charge of the packing, unpacking, and settling into the new house. I NEED hands-free time to get our new home set up, and having an almost 4yo to entertain on top of everything else for over a month will be the end of me and my sanity...

Looking for some advice or similar experiences!