u/nocturnus_strife

meme flair because i js love making fun of -phobic people lol
like seriously, their hard-drives are all the same when a friend or relative comes out as asexual and/or aromantic
"you just havent met the right person yet" my ass like bro IS THAT THE ONLY THING THEY CAN THINK OF?? how come every acephobic just has this same shit memorized 😭 fym "right person," people are jerks for no reason, i dont want to have to get stuck within a relationship/marriage with a bum, my guy 🙏

that or "you're too young to know," "you'll change your mind," or "it's just a phase"
i made a post abt this topic on my tumblr, but the main point is how sex-obsessed people are and how creepy it sounds, especially saying it to a younger person, bc you CAN NOT change or chose your sexuality, and assumimg asexuality is just a "phase" or something you can "grow out of" is super fucking creepy to me, like how can people think sex can "fix" everything??? ew ewwww ewew.
they say shit like this but then they call US "weird"* *for not enjoying sex or romance 24/7.
i also think its just super funny to every anti-aro/ace person to just says the same thing. like do they come onto the sub, read coming out stories, personal experiences, and js say the same thing to make fun of us, or are they seriously so obsessed with sex they cant imagine anyone not feeling sexual attraction or not wanting it? (hyperbole but ykwim) like what goes through their heads when saying this, if even anything at all?
i js dont understand, its just that stupid and dumb (like how can a whole ahh country, Niger, js ban 'asexual practices'?? they care way too much about what people dont do with their bodies, pure creeps)

I only prefer a couple but mainly just collect/hoard the ones that match my aesthetic-based genders or my interest-based ones, but i mainly collect them. Do you guys also do this?
These might change in the future and i might add more, but my mainly used prns are they/he/starburst/starbursts/☆burst/☆bursts, and my non-required neos are:
hy/hym (pronounced he/him)
h☆/h☆m (pronounced he/him)
ghoul/ghouls/ghoulself
ink/inkself
novel/novels/novelself
needle/needles/needleself
muse/muses/museself, moth/moths/mothself
gear/gears/gearself, garlic/bread
bug/bugs, box/boxself, bone/bones/boneself, byte/byteself, beaker/beakerself
biohazard/biohazards, hazard/hazards
hazmat/hazmats
record/records/recordself, rust/rusted/rusty, rot/rotted/rotself
flesh/fleshself, flame/flames/flameself, flask/flasks/flaskself, fuzz/fuzzy/fuzzyself
doll/dolls/dollself, data/database/dataself
cryptid/cryptids/cryptidself, clown/clownself, conjure/conjures/conjureself
orbit/orbits/orbitself
entity/entities, error/errors/errorself
tick/ticktock/tictok/toc, toxic/toxins/toxicity
synth/synthself
lab/rat/labrat/labratself
dove/doveself, disco/discos/discoself
🧪/🧪s/🧪self, 🔭/🔭s/🔭self, 🐾/🐾s/🐾self, 🐁/🐁s/🐁self, 🧸/🧸s/🧸self, and 🕰️/🕰️s/🕰️self

If i ever add more, i'd just put them in my pronouns.cc account because it's a peak app for xenos, flags, etc. Anyways, if you use them, what are yours? (i might steal some of them too lol)

i've been overall sort of okay recently, better whenever i go to my counseling appointments since my counselor knows that i struggle with lots of anxiety and some paranoia, especially when my mom is currently getting officially seperated from our dad because of certain things he's been doing and saying that has been ruining my mental health (and the rest of my family who isnt my father) so i've been struggling with the fact it was announced to me so randomly two days ago. i just need some motivation to clear my head and calm down before the peak of it actually happens, so if anyone has any advice, deities i can reach out to (from ANY pantheon atp really), or any prayers than can be set me and my family's way, i appreciate it sm :]

so im currently practicing how i sketch Loki and Poseidon, like with the anatomy and what pose and perspective i wanted, but i dont know if its okay or not to draw them wearing modern clothes just as a filler since im still researching the statues and how they looked to be more accurate
i am aware that its mainly against helpol to not humanize the gods too much, as far as im aware, but im not aware the certain limitations to devotional artwork, not just for the greek gods but for other pantheons and mythology

i mainly practice anatomy by tracing over other artwork (i do not steal it since i dont post them, i just reference it so i can improve at fundamentals) and occasionally sketch over the main body with what the og photo was, and was wondering if it was okay to draw them in basic outfits to get better at drawing them in general before i start doing more ancient clothing and styles, as i dont have any practice or experience with, like for example, Greek dresses and scandals or sharp/shiny armour? i am good at rendering which is why i practice clothing in general so i can better draw stuff like ruffles and smooth textures after i draw the anatomy so i can better understand the lighting and different values for both at the same time
is it okay to just do this for the meantime until i get better at more historical/ancient outfits? or should i start doing the clothing before i put the gods in the outfits?

so i recently remembered what happened on my first scheduling for my counseling lessons (which was a couple months ago from now, still during school). My mom was with me, since we were in the main lobby/room, and near the front desk, waiting for our turn.
When we had been called, the desk lady asked us questions (basic and expected for the job), nothing too bad and not strict unless it depends on the individuals health and healing with mental and/or physical illnesses or disabilities.
While we were finishing it up, nearing in on the end while sitting together, the front desk lady was about to let us go until she quickly mentioned she needed (or was required) to know whether the individual (me) preferred to be called as male or female inside the app when we were checking for a date on the computer for next time. I wasn't sure how my mother would react, i just expected her to speak for me, say how i "preferred" by AGAB and how i wanted to be assigned, as she usually does with checkups, being the adult and all.
What i did not expect, was the fact she turned around to face me, and ask "Do you prefer male or female?"
To me, at least, it didn't sound condescending, maybe a little rushed as she was sort of quick with it, but i didn't expect her to actually ask me whether i prefered my assigned sex or the opposite, which made me completely freeze for a few seconds, until i stuttered out and said that i preffered my AGAB, female. My mom made no remark about my pause and stammering with such a "simple" question, not bringing it up after leaving, on the drive home, or any time afterwards

what im really asking here, is if im really stupid and naive for believing that there's a chance of her being a lukewarm—or slightly less strict/bigoted—type of JW?
don't get me wrong she still makes insensitive "jokes" (was making fun of how sensitive people are nowadays and mocked them by saying "thats sexist! thats racist!! respect my gay rights!" during a trip to a reptile expo)

but overall, im just curious on your guy's perspective and view on this, maybe im just an overthinker or maybe i have a chance of a slightly more supportive mom than a dad (that says racist and homophobic slurs as a white straight male, as far as im concerned though, he has been kissed by a guy, who is also a JW, though now married to a woman and is an elder, and makes jokes about the overused "gaaaaaay!!" audio) idk bro my parents are fucking weird and complicated 😅

i for sure love some songs that are def about romance and sex (closer by six inch nails and heartbeat by childish gambino as a few examples of my music taste)

genuinely if it sounds good, whether or not if its about sex and/or romance, it WILL go in a playlist, but i sorta get uncomfortable when the artist is singing about their own sexual or romantic feelings or experiences tbh, it makes me feel weirded out and parasocial, idk, i just dont need to know this random person's private life

also for most romantic or breakup songs i would listen to, i had no idea that it was about it lol (mainly bc i was a child and singing ex's and oh's by elle king during karaoke which i didn't know the meaning of) and i feel its a univeral experience for most of us, since i am quite dirty minded (probably bc of tumblr) but im not very into sex or romance myself, or relationships in general, but it varries from everyone and i enjoy hearing ya'lls experiences or stories, they are very amusing

this lady commented on the guarding your faith and thinking abilties paragraph, where an example of a man studying biology/anthropology and leaving christianity to buddhism, she said "its super sad that he couldnt guard his heart well enough, and it must be rough for his parents after he left the faith because of higher education" and things like that
no wonder why so many members make me cringe and wish i could just leave... they feel "bad" when someone leaves christianity because of... studying? maybe there's something wrong about your religion instead of education if you cant accept basic facts or if you pity people for leaving a religion that acts superior or like a main character

paragraph eight says: "People may present their view as 'higher' thinking, but it is actually lower thinking. In fact, it is "foolishness with God." — 1 Cor 3:18-20

this is what they think of us: nonbelievers, ex-members, of people they used to call friends and family, that we are lower than them. how much longer can they keep digging their grave like this?
calling people inferior because of a lack or change of religion is so stupid. people have gone to war for the same stupid thing, and they say they're superior? idk i think many JWs have NPD or something along the lines of it... it's actually insane to call billions of non-JWs while acting like you love them. they really do reject practical wisdom like they mentioned in later paragraphs. (edit: im not saying its bad but how they use their following to project their thoughts of others)

i have three pride-themed stickers now. a protect trans kids, an asexual spades (i got these from my last day of high school as a freshman), and my new member of the hidden stickers is my trans colored red panda! i put them in my jewelry box because my parents dont gaf about it but i like to keep them hidden and not use them just because i want some pride things for myself despite my current living conditions.
my counselor is super awesome, she is queer herself and i go in weekly on wednesdays for a youth queer group therapy (and indapendently when scheduled ofc) and she let me chose my own little gift she got from her time at pride! im super grateful towards them since they really supports me and she actually makes it fun and enjoyable to go to therapy.
i wish i could use them but i obvi don't think i'd be able to without my parents noticing or commenting about it that would make me sweat or panic and accidentally out myself, but im happy im able to express myself even if it has to be in private or with other people, like my school friends and non-jw friends in general.
anyone got any experiences like or close to this?

i just had a part today, my first one up front on the stage thing, not in the back/side room, and i was anxious asf bro ;-;

my legs were shaking, my voice was shaking, my heart was running, and i felt like crying because i thought people might judge me

however i am not disabled (physically at least), i do have some constant paranoia, anxiety, and depression ofc, and im indiagnosed with whatever tf i have, most likely ADHD though im not self-diagnosing, but i just cary some symptoms, of if not ADHD, just ND, and i can NOT imagine how it would be to have a physical or mental disorder that affects how badly you interact with this religion (conventions, speakers, elders, etc) and i feel really bad for them (not in an infantilizing way, in fact i relate to many autistic ppl and people with adhd) with like certain triggers or challenges they face BECAUSE of their disorder that happen BECAUSE of this cult.

like christ, i knew i was anxious but staying on a stage should NOT have gotten me acting like how i was. i feel very alienated from people who said i looked okay up there. my friend texted me afterwards when i stated i was very anxious, "how she couldnt even tell i looked anxious" and i think its very telling how they go off of external looks rather than internal symptoms of stress

so yeah, thats it, just wanted to say what i felt at the moment

and the fact that apostates used to be fellow members with friends and family but got shunned by those "loving" people, let alone give af about you if your queer or anti-jw
like whoever is studying the bible wouldnt know about the violent destruction of the world and whatnot because jws know that if they knew about their non-believing friends and family getting killed by the loving god, they wouldnt study with them unless they actually hate their peers
its so contradictory like most of the faith, saying they care for others ONLY when it comes to converting and not actual problems in the world. so yeh, end of my rant, if you wanna add anything, go ahead!

lmao yeah the one true religion is totally the one where they're indifferent to politics and social issues that effect the people they "want to help" because of course they only care about others when it comes to religion and not the fact many minorities are losing their rights and lives for existing, and the fact the contribute to that fact through recent changes like the internet... these people are really something

they care SO much about only changing people's religion, they don't care how badly it can ruin their lives if their parents and/or partners are against JWs (which is based but i dont condone abuse, even against cultists...)
i try my hardest to understand these people, but i just cant. i do the same with my parents all the time but everytime they feel like "normal people," suddenly they bring up the end of the world and how much they hate gay people and don't care about people like queer, women, or POC actively getting shat on by their country's government that they think will implode "soon enough," WHICH MAKES NO SENSE. if they truly cared, they would use their priveleges, mainly in the US, to support people globally. But they don't.

are they not hearing themselves? they've been "inculcated" themselves into believing they're the "one true organization who can fully help those who are lost" - another thing my mom said during prayer, which i will now be calling "The Quiet Yapping Session," or TQYS - because that was basically what she was doing, saying her opinions about her faith outloud, which i have no problem with if it wasn't so sad like... she and JWs as a whole believe people are "lost souls" or wtv for simply not wanting to be religious, not caring about religion, or unable to switch current beliefs into something more extreme, and they act like they're "the chosen" to change that 😭😭 idk man i just had to talk about this

- "my religion is right, because it says so."
- "my religion is right, because it says that others are wrong."
- "my religion is right, because yours is wrong."
- "i respect your right to believe but i believe that you're going to die horribly because you don't believe in my religion."

these are examples of, mainly not JWs, but just of fundamentalist beliefs in general, so this is my take and criticism of that

obv there's more to it, and a lot deeper and unnecassarily when it comes to the GB, but i just think just basic, day-to-day, medium wage JWs expand on this to an extent to cope with the fact armageddon hasn't come "yet," and how they coerce others into following in their shows since they're right since they're religon says so
JWs take this to the extreme esp with avoiding politics and social injustices worldwide since they know (most) non-believers would never go with what JWs believe in for the majority, aka dying in a "war to end all wars" or whatever

mainy organized religions have adapted this in general (mainly monotheism as far as i've seen) but have any of ya'll seen other takes on this or something a believing JW has said about their "one, godly chosen religion"?

if armageddon is just around the corner, why waste your precious seconds why letter writing or sitting in a building for a boring 2 hours when you can enjoy a tv show or movie with your family, go out with friends more, travel or go on vacation, pick up on a new hobby, instead of just rinse and repeating the same thing JWs have been doing for decades except a lot slower with their policies constantly changing and requiring less from everybody? i thought armageddon was supposed to be here now but apparently they "don't know" anymore? how can JWs just stand by and do nothing, not even participate in political/social justice arguments or activities if you want to help others?
it's obvious they just want to convert them instead of actually helping them by giving advice that isn't from the bible, which many now, especially of younger generations, don't really care about or want to waste their time to spend months studying with other people who sh¡t-talk more about gay people than the pedophiles and abusers within their congregation(s), i'd call it crazy since little to no JWs with a lick of awareness really want to talk about it, but what is there to talk about other than the same doctrine over again? i feel if they cared more about others, they'd go back to their older ways, like preaching more, but since armageddon is right around the corner, then they don't really need to? if jehovah really spoke through the elders from the bible, wouldn't god want them to do more for their community (not just their own members, so including athiests and whatnot) since he's an "all loving creator," or is it just people not wanting to commit all their time to the same cause that seems to be delaying faster than ever?
many JWs would also benefit from not constantly talking about the death and destruction of billions who happen to not believe, which is dare i say pretty silly to believe in anyway, like it can improve your mental health by not telling others they're going to be killed by the "true god," whom you could just repent to either way?
imagine that conversation in paradise where you knew someone during the great tribulation who just repented last minute without wasting their limited days on earth to actually have fun rather than concern yourselves with people who don't answer at the doors

(context: the sister was a wife w a son and husband + i was told this last night at 10am but i dont know when this actually happened and im wondering if the next meeting they'll announce this, idk its my first time hearing of this happening to someone "close" to me)

like i thought my mom meant like she just moved or smth, turns out she just dipped out and vanished from this, mom was really upset and mentioned she "wouldnt stop thinking about this one anytime soon" since they were close friends
jeez... tbh i also thought the sister, lets call her A, was a fully devout jw: she went to meetings most times, commented usually, went to service pretty regularly, and even though i havent talk to A or did any close things or hang out with her, idk, im just surprised
this is the first time i've heard someone in my cong get disfellowshipped (i think? idk what happened to A, my mom just stated she left and nothing else) that was actually sorta close to me or at least knew me, i never really was close to A but she was pretty nice and i thought she was fully pimi - or maybe she just became a pomi? idk what happened or what made A make the choice of leaving but im inspired, really, like sweet! what about me next? i wanna leave this i cant handle one more meeting or anymore service ever since i realized i never believed in this

i guess jws really believe that their "brothers and sisters" are all apart of this big "family" as long as you attend regularly or don't mention your doubts, at least for the most part, because even tho im not a jw, i was really shocked to find one of the most jw-jws i've met just end up leaving randomly whether or not they wanted to or were disfellowshipped

idk but at a certain season (i dont remember which one it was but it was when Discord took away the powers and magic of the main 5) my mom was like "nah" and i just never really watched it again other than listening to some music (razzle dazzle/countess song is a banger) and seen a few clips in later seasons and it doesnt look too "dark" for me, a 15y/o, to watch rather than when i was, what like 8?
also its a show about ponies facing racism, systemic issues (earth ponies vs unicorns and peguses and alicorns) etc., and i dont think it wouldve "corrupted" my child self because i just liked rainbow dash bc i thought she was a guy at first lol (and that i lowk had a crush on King Sombra but wtv)

i mean maybe bc MLP deals with evil forces that turn good into evil or destroying good and whatnot (Queen Chrysalis) and i feel jw parents WOULD and SHOULD let their kids watch something that teaches kids about world issues, but ig, other than violent jw programs, they cant watch something that deals with "worldly issues" like mistreatment and other things like bigotry

anyone else had random restrictions on entertainment like this growing up, i feel like this is common, just i havent heard anyone not allowed to watch MLP other than me

i was just curious about any other queer, therian, pagan, or people/nonhumans, 'n whatnot that dont believe in this anymore or if you ever had at all (like me—i never really faded since i never truly believed, not fully at least, esp since im all three)

do ya'll have any weird, confusing, crazy, or obscure experiences in your congregation or with believing friends/friends?
- were you aware of what you were while still believing or fading?
- have any of your brothers and sisters managed to figure out the fact of you don't (fully) identify with the norm within the cult, esp if you're queer?
- what are your struggles with identifying as this for you while still being PIMO?
- if you're all three, what do you feel is the worst having to hide constantly?
(you don't have to say anything deeply personal for any of these dw)

biggest struggle for me was just keeping it a secret, i really want to express my identity while im still a teen with less responsibilities, but this cult really makes you wish you were older just to be able to find a job, affordable housing and basic living materials, like gah damn, i dont wanna live i wanna be safe and free to dress and act how i want, and not be the 1893936th born-in jw that all acts the same (ﾒ﹏ﾒ)

i really wanna dress more dark as an emo and alt/grunge guy, and also decorate with "furry" like things (such as fake tails, ears, drawing paws on my converse, a shitton of flannels, messy eyeliner, dye my hair black, and more) but i severely doubt my parents would let me try to get any, like, therian symbols for my clothing or masks, maybe some basic accessesories like fake tails or smth but im js too scared to ask them (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞ i hate being an overthinker

you don't need to drop any deep lore or anything if you'd rather not, but i was just wondering how many queer, pagan, alter/nonhuman-identifying somebodies are here while being pimo or are still fading, i feel like a lotta people are either atheists or just christians after leaving and wanted to see if others shared or are in my same situation

i dont like JWs, their belief system is very mean towards women and especially minorities so obviously i dont respect them for ts, but i feel really bad for my family and friends that are stuck in this cult, like they're nice people but they are not good, so i cant support their actions since they want everyone to be one of them and actively pray on the downfall of billions who dont...

but i just wish they could open their eyes and notice how genuinely bad this whole thing is (csa/abuse, shunning, victim blaming, superioty/savior complex, etc), and how it affects them and the other brothers and sisters, like js because you believe in this doesnt make you good people, esp with covering up and excusing sa/abuse
and tbh it gave me imposter syndrome, or something relating to it on a small/medium level, because my family loves me, or says they love me, but if i told them abt being a non-witness, would they disown me? would they hate me? will their "love" for their child overcome their brainwashing with the whole shunning thing? they say these things that make me lose respect as people even when i respect them as parents, i mean they care abt me, but every parent should love their kid no matter what (besides abusers and whatnot), its common sense to, but these people lack it and basic logic, maybe even alongside good parents skills
imagine putting your kids spirituality over their mental health, even if they love you, like... no wonder why im so fucked up 🙏

anyone else relate or have a similar experience