r/AroAce

I'm aroace and also sex and romance repulsed, so I'm quite sure I don't want to be in a relationship with anyone. It's never been something I wanted and the idea of it is so alien and unnatural to me, and yet I feel like I'm missing out. Like I've been locked out of this world that I'm curious to see but I also don't want to look. I'm not sure if that makes sense...

Does anyone else have this conflicting feeling?

All I want is to be friends with people. I am 22M. I love talking to people and discussing stuff.

If I try getting a M friend, they are too busy with their GF.

If I try getting F friend, it's called dishonest to her relationship.

All friendships reduce down to acquaintances and it's lonely afterwards.

I don't want a relationship. I want friends. Im so confused and it gets worse as you age because people get married afterwards and this just makes it worse...

I sometimes seriously consider cutting ALL ties and be a hermit or something. Its unfortunate but I have grown a misanthrope after I figured out I was aroace and I feel like no relationship (romantic or platonic) is worthwhile.

From where I am from, it feels like theres no concept of actual friendship.

Me and my partner have been together for almost a year and a half now. I just recently figured out that im aroace spectrum. I been ace for a really long time now and my partner knows that.

My whole life I never really had romantic feelings like others do. When I was little I always used to pick a random person im my class when people asked who my crush was because I never understood the meaning of it, I just thought a crush was someone you thought was cool and I never thought about dating any of those "crushes". And I almost never have had any romantic feelings toward anyone. The only person I ever had romantic feelings torwards is my partner but only some and im not sure if im mixing it up with platonic love. It makes me feel so guilty because I really do want to be the person my partner wants but I know they want a romantic and physical relationship while I want more of queerplatonic relationship. I know I should tell because it wouldnt be fair for either of us if I kept myself in the closet forever. But at the same time im scared of how they will react because when I opened up about being ace they took it badly and got mad. But in the end they accepted. The same happened when I came out as nonbinary, so idk if they will get mad again if I tell them about this

I dont know what to do anymore, if anyone has advice I would be really greatful. Sorry if my spelling is bad, english isnt my first language. Thanks for reading and have an good day!! ^^

Most of my friends know I'm aroace, however a select few act like immature idiots whenever I talk to women. One of my best friends is a girl, let's call her A, but one of my guy friends, let's call him R, keeps on acting like we have this secret romance going on, and yes, HE KNOWS I'M AROACE. What's worse, another friend knows I'm ace, let's call him H, but actively denies it. I kid you not, when he was talking to another friend about it, he came up to me after and said, and I quote: "Why are you spreading false information to *actually supportive friend*? You're not ace." and this dipshit has the audacity to smile whilst saying this shit. Guess what? (SOME OF) my female friends are just as bad, if not worse. They also think me and A are in love, and again they know I'm aroace. Also it's not as if they're not supportive, because they somehow ALSO ship me with one of my guy friends, M. A isn't innocent either, because she also ships me with our mutual female friend.

All this being said, I do believe that it's mostly teasing, even if it's very problematic, and they'll listen if I put my foot down, though with H and R, I'm not sure. I believe though that if I act pissed at them, they'll get that I'm serious about this stuff.

I'm curious about how much of aroace people want to be in a relationship. I want to be in a relationship as an aroace, but it seems it's a pretty rare thing in the community.

I might make a google form post on the bigger subreddits with more options, like if the people they are in a relationship with also are ace or allo etc. It might be fun information and insight.

View Poll

question 1. am I too young to decide if I’m aroace. (I’m 12)

question 2. how do I truly know if I’m aroace cos I’m pretty sure them silly quizzes on the internet aren’t really that helpful.

question 3. will people judge me from being what I truly am.

I've had no crushes in my life and only ever wanted to be close to someone else platonically, I often don’t understand when my friends are talking about going on dates and kissing girls or whatever.

Also, where do I take the next step toward

Yesterday evening my boyfriend came out to me as aromantic. We’ve been together nearly two years. I was shocked and a little upset, but I know I shouldn’t be because this is who he is and I want to be happy and support him as best I can. I’m wanting to learn how to best support him. I don’t know how he feels, but I want to try to understand.

What is the best way I can support him?

How does it feel to be in a relationship and still be aromantic?

What else should I know about someone who is aro?

So recently I have discovered that I am aromantic, but as a 13 yr old, can you develop sexual feelings for other people.

I’m really insecure about this so if you have any other tips or advice it would be much appreciated.

Thanks.

I just kinda came to terms with being aroace and I just had a hangout with a group of friends with me being the fifth wheel. I just looked around and realized they all have someone closer to them than I could ever be. And of course, I’m not jealous of their partner but it made me realize I’ll never have someone’s always in my corner. I’ll have friends but their best friend will be their partner. It feels so childish when I write it out, but it sends me right back to being last picked in school. The worst thing is that it unchangeable. I will never be the closest person to anyone and there’s nothing I or anyone can do to change that. It just sucks.

I’ve been wondering what the most common orientation would be, e.g. bi, straight, or gay/lesbian, etc?

i say this as a fully aroace person (as far as I know) and im just curious.