I know some Spanish I took 4 years of it in high school, and was wondering if I could speak chat with someone who also knows Spanish and English. That would be really cool and helpful
“You aren’t special, you’re just a woman”
is a phrase that I made and it’s a belief that men have about women, I was gonna say in romantic relationships but now I’m thinking that this is true in any aspect. And basically it’s the idea that every woman is replaceable because none of us have anything that makes us uniquely worth choosing.
What I’ve told myself is that there’s nothing uniquely valuable about me as a person that a man couldn’t find in another woman, and so on and so on.
The way that I pronounce certain words, or the way I walk, or the way I think, none of these things, that are unique to my personality, matters. Essentially I’m just a blob with a vagina.
Now because of this it makes it really hard to enjoy the idea of relationships. I can be pretty pessimistic and self sabotaging so maybe I’m not the best person to take advice from but I think I have a good point in saying these things. Of course we all want relationships but it’s much different in the way that women and men value the other in a relationship. Women can find a man unique to all others I’m not saying all women but it’s possible. A woman can see the way you eat your food, or the way you smile when you’re nervous as something unique to you and only you.. men can be valued in a much different way than women and that’s just a fact.
Does the idea of having good money, a nice home, and for me I do think I want one child, this can always change but having those things and just living life.. does that feel good to anyone else? Knowing you aren’t apart of this society that puts all this pressure on you to compete and to be liked..? It feels freeing to accept that this is the way to live your life… it’s just a thought I had.
Like I’ve noticed a shift.. I’m more angry than sad. I mean of course I’m still damn sad but man I’m incredibly angry about it too. Im mad because people don’t give me a chance. They see me and want nothing to do with me. You know what that does to my already low self esteem? It just takes the negative thoughts deeper and deeper. Why does it have to be so hard? It feels like the loneliness has actually changed who I am as a person. It’s turned me into a miserable angry person. I mean I always have been somewhat pessimistic but man it’s made things even worse for my well being. It’s also made me feel like there is no point in trying to change the loneliness and even if I did meet people I feel like it wouldn’t even make things better. This is why this is so confusing. I’m just angry, angry at the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m having a breakdown, mentally. But I have to suck it up and be an adult right? This is so fucking pointless I swear. There is even all these processes to meeting people. Even if you meet someone will they be compatible? Sometimes I think if I meet someone what if they have certain things or have people in their lives and commitments? Which most people do.. it makes me feel bad. And yes that’s toxic it’s like I want people to be in the same predicament as me. I’m incredibly miserable man. I just really don’t know what to do anymore. I need connection but at the same time people really make me upset. So idk anymore honestly
Anyone noticed this crazy guy that’s in the u-district? Ive seen him near that portage bay cafe, like Roosevelt area. 42nd NE and 8th avenue. He is young, black, and I’ve seen him stand in the middle of the street and running towards cars. He is very aggressive and just some minutes ago I was walking home and saw him like attack these people. I did call 911 but they were rude.. so idk. But I’ve seen this guy often. He is loud and he is really unpredictable. He may be on the spectrum but he seems violent and I wanted to know if anyone has seen him around here too.
This is a horrible feeling.. it feels like I’ll forever be stuck. I have an emotional breakdown multiple times this morning at the fact that I’m 28, and will be 29 this year. I haven’t done what I’ve wanted with my life. And all the bliss and spark has seemed to leave my body. It’s such a weird feeling.. it’s like nothing is making me happy. I’m trying to watch bobs burgers but I just can’t get happy, I can’t get into a good mood. It’s so depressing. I’m not sure if I’m gonna make it in this life as a success. I have so many regrets already. I’m so sad, yet so hopeless. The thought of a new friend doesn’t excite me, the thought of a new job doesn’t excite me.. I’m just numb right now. It’s hard for me to even pretend. I feel like I need to just escape everything that sounds peaceful but idk if I’ll actually do that.
I’m 250 lbs at 5’5. Food seems to be what can make me happy, but it’s just temporary but it’s so addicting. It’s just a horrible cycle. Being so morbidly obese makes it hard to do anything. Even if I want to walk somewhere I get so anxious because people always stare. I wish I had someone to talk to about this, and share how binging makes us feel. I feel so ashamed everytime I eat even if it’s healthy. Food is my worst enemy. I’m my worst enemy.