u/nxk115

Maes, les voy a resumir dos historias que me hicieron crear este post jaja.

1. Hace unos años conocí a un compa que recién había terminado en malos términos una relación de 4 años. El mae siempre hablaba pestes de la ex, decís que era una manipuladora, que era fea, que no le atraía sexualmente, que era una grosera, que le gritaba, era una carepicha, etc. yo nunca conocí a la mae, pero mis compás que sí la conocen dicen que todo es verdad, la mae es una carepicha según todo mundo.

Hoy me enteré que el mae buscó a la wila hace unos meses, volvieron a estar juntos, se juntaron y ahora están planeando la boda jajaja.

2. En el 2021 una amiga mía empezó a salir con un mae que a nadie nunca le cayó bien. El mae tenía problemas con el alcohol, le daba vuelta con conocidas y CON PROSTITUTAS, terminaban y volvían a cada rato, la metía en despiches por toda su situación con el alcohol, en fin. Los maes terminaron como por un año, pero tiempo después se fueron a vivir juntos a otra provincia, se casaron y ahora tienen un chamaco.

En estos dos casos, toda la gente cercana se pregunta lo mismo: por qué mi compa está con esta persona de mierda?
Pero los maes dicen que están súper felices, que es amor de verdad, que sus parejas ya no son esas personas malas que alguna vez fueron, mil excusas.

Mi pregunta es: ustedes creen que esto es algún apego tóxico que tiene cierta gente o simplemente hay parejas que tienen una conexión que solo ellos entienden y nadie más tiene por qué entenderla?
Conocen gente con relaciones así?
Ustedes tienen o han tenido una relación que nadie entiende pero para ustedes es lo mejor del mundo?

Quiero ver qué piensa la gente, no hay respuestas correctas, ah

Maes, la vara es que tengo un viaje en estos días y ando con mil varas y no voy a tener chance de ir al banco/al cajero a sacar plata. Ustedes saben si en las salidas internacionales hay cajero del Nacional? Busqué en Google y no me salió nada.
Gracias si tienen info!

I have been trying to get over this guy for ages. I have tried dating, I have told myself millions of times how he’s NOT the person I have in my mind, how we’re not compatible, etc.
But I can’t stop thinking of him. I finally texted him after many years and we will probably see each other in a couple of weeks. My logic behind this is that I need to see the real him and replace the idealistic version that lives in my head with the real, probably uninterested and incompatible, version of him. This is my last resort, I don’t know if it’s the smartest, but it’s the only thing I haven’t tried.
The problem is that now I am imagining all these scenarios in which he tells me he likes me back and we ride into the sunset 🫠 I am almost certain he will reject me and I think that’s what I need (that worked in the past with someone I had the same situation with, after he rejected me I realized there was no point).

I want him to be perfect and like me back so so so much, but I am aware that’s very unlikely. How do I stop making up scenarios and just seeing reality before we meet?

I need help!! I have been daydreaming for about 20 years. I have a very strong crush on someone that doesn’t like me back and have been dealing with limerence for a very long time. Lately, all my dreams are about us going out, him telling me that he’s in love with me, us being together, etc. I feel like I’m setting myself up for failure and I really want to let the hope die. Does anyone have any advise on how to deal with this?? Please help meeeee

I recently saw a post on another r/ where somebody asked people how many times they have had sex in their lives, most people mocked OP saying that nobody keeps track/it’s impossible to know. But I actually got to thinking and did the math, I think I have had sex less than 35 times in my life.

I am 26, i am straight, I started my sex life about 11 years ago. I’ve never been in a relationship and to be completely honest, most of my sex encounters have been very circumstantial (drunk one night stands, casual encounters with strangers/acquaintances and so on).

I have some sex trauma from my childhood and I have never really enjoyed sex, except for maybe 2/3 times.

Just to be clear, I’m not really one to measure my value or anyone’s based on how much sex they have or the number of sexual partners they have had.

For the last couple of years I have been trying to date and find someone to have a relationship with, with no success at all, but something that’s been on my mind this whole time is how almost everyone I know has already been in at least one serious relationship, has had a stable sex partner, has had sex many times and they know what they like, what they’re into, what turns them on, etc.
I don’t have any of those things.

I still feel about sex the way I felt when I was still a teenager; confused, anxious and self conscious.

I feel like most people have had a normal sexual development, you know? They dated as teenagers, started exploring and experimenting with the people they were dating, it was a safe space, and eventually they got to feel confortable and sex became just another thing you do in life.
I didn’t have that. I was an awkward teenager that nobody wanted to date. And from age 16 and on I was exclusively in contexts where everyone was way older than me, so I never had peers my age that were also in that exploration stage, I was surrounded by people 25+ who had already been through that phase.

I have done a lot of self exploring through masturbation and general curiosity of my body, and I do feel more confident than I did some years ago, but whenever I am with somebody else I get extremely anxious and have a hard time communicating, mainly because I feel a lot of shame and fear. I feel like a stupid girl for not knowing what I like, what to do, etc.

I feel like I need to find someone that I can trust and who cares about me, so he can help me explore what intimacy is/feels like when shared with someone else. I need someone who has patience and doesn’t see me as just a vagina they can fuck, but finding someone to be in a relationship has been extremely hard for me.

I sometimes go 3-4 years without having sex and it is starting to affect my self esteem. I consider myself very beautiful and I like my body, but I really want to feel sexy, I want to feel desired, like a sexual being. I want to feel in control of my body and not be terrified about sex. I want to have an active sex life that makes me feel confident and comfortable.

I don’t really know where I’m going with this post, I just needed to vent I guess. If anyone has any advice or nice words, I’d really appreciate it.

I recently saw a post on another r/ where somebody asked people how many times they have had sex in their lives, most people mocked OP saying that nobody keeps track/it’s impossible to know. But I actually got to thinking and did the math, I think I have had sex less than 35 times in my life.

I am 26, i am straight, I started my sex life about 11 years ago. I’ve never been in a relationship and to be completely honest, most of my sex encounters have been very circumstantial (drunk one night stands, casual encounters with strangers/acquaintances and so on).

I have some sex trauma from my childhood and I have never really enjoyed sex, except for maybe 2/3 times.

Just to be clear, I’m not really one to measure my value or anyone’s based on how much sex they have or the number of sexual partners they have had.

For the last couple of years I have been trying to date and find someone to have a relationship with, with no success at all, but something that’s been on my mind this whole time is how almost everyone I know has already been in at least one serious relationship, has had a stable sex partner, has had sex many times and they know what they like, what they’re into, what turns them on, etc.
I don’t have any of those things.

I still feel about sex the way I felt when I was still a teenager; confused, anxious and self conscious.

I feel like most people have had a normal sexual development, you know? They dated as teenagers, started exploring and experimenting with the people they were dating, it was a safe space, and eventually they got to feel confortable and sex became just another thing you do in life.
I didn’t have that. I was an awkward teenager that nobody wanted to date. And from age 16 and on I was exclusively in contexts where everyone was way older than me, so I never had peers my age that were also in that exploration stage, I was surrounded by people 25+ who had already been through that phase.

I have done a lot of self exploring through masturbation and general curiosity of my body, and I do feel more confident than I did some years ago, but whenever I am with somebody else I get extremely anxious and have a hard time communicating, mainly because I feel a lot of shame and fear. I feel like a stupid girl for not knowing what I like, what to do, etc.

I feel like I need to find someone that I can trust and who cares about me, so he can help me explore what intimacy is/feels like when shared with someone else. I need someone who has patience and doesn’t see me as just a vagina they can fuck, but finding someone to be in a relationship has been extremely hard for me.

I sometimes go 3-4 years without having sex and it is starting to affect my self esteem. I consider myself very beautiful and I like my body, but I really want to feel sexy, I want to feel desired, like a sexual being. I want to feel in control of my body and not be terrified about sex. I want to have an active sex life that makes me feel confident and comfortable.

I don’t really know where I’m going with this post, I just needed to vent I guess. If anyone has any advice or nice words, I’d really appreciate it.

I recently saw a post on another r/ where somebody asked people how many times they have had sex in their lives, most people mocked OP saying that nobody keeps track/it’s impossible to know. But I actually got to thinking and did the math, I think I have had sex less than 35 times in my life.

I am 26, i am straight, I started my sex life about 11 years ago. I’ve never been in a relationship and to be completely honest, most of my sex encounters have been very circumstantial (drunk one night stands, casual encounters with strangers/acquaintances and so on).

I have some sex trauma from my childhood and I have never really enjoyed sex, except for maybe 2/3 times.

Just to be clear, I’m not really one to measure my value or anyone’s based on how much sex they have or the number of sexual partners they have had.

For the last couple of years I have been trying to date and find someone to have a relationship with, with no success at all, but something that’s been on my mind this whole time is how almost everyone I know has already been in at least one serious relationship, has had a stable sex partner, has had sex many times and they know what they like, what they’re into, what turns them on, etc.
I don’t have any of those things.

I still feel about sex the way I felt when I was still a teenager; confused, anxious and self conscious.

I feel like most people have had a normal sexual development, you know? They dated as teenagers, started exploring and experimenting with the people they were dating, it was a safe space, and eventually they got to feel confortable and sex became just another thing you do in life.
I didn’t have that. I was an awkward teenager that nobody wanted to date. And from age 16 and on I was exclusively in contexts where everyone was way older than me, so I never had peers my age that were also in that exploration stage, I was surrounded by people 25+ who had already been through that phase.

I have done a lot of self exploring through masturbation and general curiosity of my body, and I do feel more confident than I did some years ago, but whenever I am with somebody else I get extremely anxious and have a hard time communicating, mainly because I feel a lot of shame and fear. I feel like a stupid girl for not knowing what I like, what to do, etc.

I feel like I need to find someone that I can trust and who cares about me, so he can help me explore what intimacy is/feels like when shared with someone else. I need someone who has patience and doesn’t see me as just a vagina they can fuck, but finding someone to be in a relationship has been extremely hard for me.

I sometimes go 3-4 years without having sex and it is starting to affect my self esteem. I consider myself very beautiful and I like my body, but I really want to feel sexy, I want to feel desired, like a sexual being. I want to feel in control of my body and not be terrified about sex. I want to have an active sex life that makes me feel confident and comfortable.

I don’t really know where I’m going with this post, I just needed to vent I guess. If anyone has any advice or nice words, I’d really appreciate it.

Context: I’m f26, I’ve been MDing for about 20 years. I don’t live in the country I was raised in, I’ve been 8 years in this foreign country and I have had to move cities a few times, all by myself. I’m not really close with my family and I do have some good friends, but they are very few and most of them live far away. I have never been in a relationship and my life is very very lonely.
Clearly I am depressed and have been for many years, I have done therapy and it has helped, but the loneliness remains.

These pasts months I have reached a new point of hopelessness in my life, after many years of trying to find good friends and have a relationship and failing, I feel like I have no more options, I feel exhausted from using dating apps, taking classes, joining clubs and still not finding people who want to stay in my life in a meaningful way.
I have been considering going back to my country for a month or so, to take a summer art program, get away from my routine and so on, but I’m afraid I’m romanticizing the whole idea of going back. Since I got the idea I’ve been MDing about going back and casually running into a guy I was in love with when I was 17, he’s kind of “the one that got away”, in my dreams we reconnect and finally our relationship happens and everything is great. I have no idea if he still thinks of me or if the possibility of and actual relationship exists, but the idea of going there, taking my art program and reconnecting with him and other old friends makes me feel like there’s still hope, but I think I’m lying to myself, everything that happens during my dreams gets destroyed when I rationalize the whole thing.

Anyway, I don’t really know why I’m writing this, I just feel very hopeless and stupid and needed to vent.

Suponiendo que la cosa que les da estabilidad NO les da tiempo de hacer nada más y que la cosa que aman requiere más esfuerzo para que de estabilidad.

Yo he estado en ambas situaciones y prefiero hacer algo que amo, pero me da curiosidad qué piensa la gente.

Hi! I know this might be a stretch, but I am interested in taking an art course/program in English, during the summer in Germany, anything in the visual arts realm (painting, drawing, sculpture, ceramics, photography, filmmaking, design, crafts, etc).

If there’s anything you know of, have attended to, or have heard of, I would appreciate any information! I don’t really care in which city it is held.

Thanks!

Hi! I know this might be a stretch, but I am interested in taking an art course/program in English, during the summer in Germany, anything in the visual arts realm (painting, drawing, sculpture, ceramics, photography, filmmaking, design, crafts, etc).

If there’s anything you know of, have attended to, or have heard of, I would appreciate any information! I don’t really care in which city it is held.

Thanks!

Cuál o cuáles son sus subreddits favoritos? Que les parezcan curiosos, interesantes, no sé. Me dio curiosidad saber qué otras cosas ve la gente por aquí.

No sabía que título ponerle a esto jajaja.

Soy M26 y estoy soltera. Ahora ando en plan de conocer maes e ir a citas, porque quiero tener una relación, generalmente salgo con hombres entre los 27-30 años.

Yo vivo sola desde los 18 años, trabajo desde los 17 y desde ese entonces no tengo ningún tipo de apoyo o ayuda económica de nadie. Hace un año empecé mi propio negocio en el que me va bien, no hago millones, pero me da para pagar mis cosas y así, no tengo deudas de nada y soy bastante organizada y responsable con la plata, obviamente al ser algo propio y pequeño, hay meses buenos y malos.

La vara es que hasta ahora solo he conocido/salido con maes que tienen trabajos con un ingreso fijo en alguna empresa, suelen tener “buenos” salarios y siempre son maes que viven con los tatas, entonces no pagan renta, ni tienen que hacer súper, pagar servicios, etc.

Yo no soy una mae que crea que los hombres tengan que pagar todo siempre, ni espero buscar a alguien que “me mantenga”, pero sí he estado teniendo situaciones incómodas en las que los hombres piensan que yo los estoy usando por plata, porque a veces queremos hacer ciertos planes para los que mi economía sencillamente no me da en este momento, entonces la opción es que ellos me inviten o no hacer el plan (hablo de cosas sencillas como ir a eventos o a comer, no ir a Paris de viaje jaja).

La vara es que yo no quiero que el mae con el que salga piense que lo estoy usando por plata, yo siempre soy honesta de mi situación económica (que no es mala, solo es limitada) pero siento que el estereotipo de la mujer interesada es demasiado fuerte y causa conflictos en las relaciones, porque los maes le huyen a eso.

Últimamente me he estado sintiendo un poco mal, porque siento que al no tener mucha plata no “valgo la pena/soy suficiente” para estar en una relación, siento que muchas veces la situación es vista como que no tengo mucha plata y ya, y no como que soy una mae que se ha sacado adelante SOLA desde los 17, que la está pulseando por cumplir el sueño de un negocio propio, que no tengo familia que me apoye y que bajo todas esas circunstancias estoy bastante bien. No es la misma situación de un mae que toda la vida ha vivido con los tatas y tiene un salario fijo de $3000 o algo así.

Yo sé que es incómodo estar con alguien que tal vez no tenga tanta plata, pero me gustaría sentir que soy valorada por mi personalidad, compañía y las cosas no económicas que puedo aportar, porque la verdad yo soy muy cariñosa, detallista y en general muy dulce.

En fin, no se cual es el punto al que quiero llegar jajaaj, solo es algo que he estado pensando y sintiendo mucho últimamente y me gustaría saber qué piensan.